WCW Thunder - Wednesday, March 1^st, 2000

• Wow! My first DDT Digest report!
• For those curious, I sent in the House Show report for Duluth, along with an offer to write any reports Bill needs. Next thing I know, I'm writing this report. The moral of the story is send in your House Show reports to Bill and you too might be the lucky winner of a guest reporter spot.. wait, that isn't much of a prize. Now I have to sit through a whole Thunder and can't turn the channel when Nash is on.
• Well, I suppose I can take the opportunity to plug my page, ChrisKanyon.com.
• Anyhow, I love feedback so feel free to e-mail me to let me know what you thought of my report.

• We are TAPED from Fargo, ND.
  • I was debating going to this show as well, I guess we'll see if I made the right choice not to.

• We start with a recap of Nitro, Luger vs. Buff, Sting's return (again), Hennig vs. Flair and so on.
  • Seriously, how many returns can Sting have in one career?
  • Nick: "He's got a long way to go to beat Terry Funk."
  • True enough.

• Sid is shown arriving at the arena. He asks Terry Taylor if everything is ready, to which Taylor says yes.

• Opening montage.

• Match 1: WCW World Cruiserweight Champion TAFKA Prince Iaukea (W/Paisley) Vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
  • During TAFKAPI's exceedingly long entrance, Heenan and Tenay talk about TAFKAPI's new found success.
    • Riiiight....
  • Yes! Chavo!
  • Will WCW attempt to right some wrongs and give him the belt?
  • Funny, Tenay talks about "great challengers" waiting to challenge TAFKAPI and can only name Juventud Guerrera and Rey Mysterio Jr., both injured.
    • The depth of the Cruiserweight division at an all time high? Tenay said so, so it must be true.
  • TAFKAPI with a kick to the gut, followed by some generic brawling.
  • Chavo counters with a few punches, then attempts a whip to the ropes, but TAFKAPI reverses.
  • Nice! TAFKAPI goes for a clothesline, but Chavo floats over into a DDT for a 2 count.
  • Chavo with a whip into a spinebuster, again a 2 count.
  • Chavo with another whip, this time Chavo lifts him up and pancakes TAFKAPI.
  • TAFKAPI with some punches, Chavo throws TAFKAPI outside.
  • Chavo goes up top, hitting TAFKAPI with a crossbody block.
  • Inside, Chavo lands a spring board dropkick. He sets TAFKAPI up for a tornado DDT, but Paisley gets up on the apron.
  • Paisley distracts the ref while she hands TAFKAPI the title belt.
  • TAFKAPI hits Chavo in the gut, but he sells it like it hit him in the head.
  • Whatever, TAFKAPI gets caught turning around and attempting to ditch the evidence.
  • The ref calls for the bell, DQing TAFKAPI.
  • Your Winner: Chavo Guerrero Jr. via disqualification.
  • Chavo drop kicks TAFKAPI after he gets the belt from the ref.
  • That was decent.

• Tenay announces that Sid asked the executive committee for a match and it was granted.
  • The main event tonight is Jarrett/Harris Goons Vs. Sid/Kidman/Booker.
  • How many Thunders in a row is this that is centered around Sid and Jarrett?

• Gene is backstage interviewing Team Package.
  • Luger insults Vampiro, mentioning Vampiro getting attacked last week by Team Package.
  • Flair talks about how he will take out Bagwell tonight.

• Dustin Rhodes is walking backstage.

• Gene interviews Chavo, asking where he has been.
  • Chavo says in whole lotta words that he went broke.
  • He's aiming for the Cruiserweight Title.
  • Gene wishes him luck, while Chavo steals his watch.
  • Nice to see Chavo back.

• Match 2: Dustin Rhodes (w/o Crowd Reaction) Vs. Terry Funk
  • Dustin grabs a mic and insults the crowd.
  • We make him sick now.
  • Oh, now he doesn't care. I'm hurt..
  • He wants to share something with us.
    • And I thought he didn't like us.
  • Footage is shown from earlier today at an autograph session with Terry Funk.
  • Funk gets jumped from behind by Rhodes.
  • Rhodes continues to insult the crowd.
  • Funk comes out of the crowd and sneaks up behind Rhodes with a chair.
  • Funk hits Rhodes with it, then yells at him to get up.
  • Every time Rhodes gets up, Funk hits him again.
    
  • Funk throws Rhodes outside, then attempts a piledriver.
  • Rhodes counters with a backdrop.
  • Rhodes with a DDT on the outside.
  • Rhodes throws Funk back in the ring, where he gives him several chair shots.
    • Does anyone else think it devalues a chair shot when Funk absorbs several of them without getting knocked out?
    • Especially when a Title change occurs due to a chair shot?
  • Not sure if this was a match, the bell rang once, but that could have been an accident.
  • Your Winner: No Contest
  • Security runs out to separate them.

• Gene interviews the nWo.
  • The Harris Goons say they've received the Mamalukes latest "gift". (A pair of cement shoes.)
  • Blah, blah, H-Bomb.
    • Horace?
  • Jarrett then talks about the 6 man tag tonight, saying the Harris Goons are going to H-Bomb Booker and Kidman, then it's 3 on 1.
    • And I'll bet Sid would still be booked to win.
  • Jarrett then says the nWo has too many women.
    • Like that would REALLY be a problem.
  • We get some contests tonight to decide who gets dropped.

• A message from Buff Bagwell. He wants you to let him mail in the matches, so don't try this at home.

• Backstage, Sid, Booker and Kidman talk strategy.
  • You can clearly hear someone say "clear" when the segment closes.
    • How do you mess up a TAPED show?

• Match 3: WCW Hardcore Champion(s) 3 Count vs. The Dog/Fit Finlay/Brian Knobbs
  • 3 Count dances, until Knobbs starts yelling and spitting into a mic.
  • He says it's time to set loose the dog.
    • Oh god, not Konnan!
  • Thankfully, it's just the former #1 contender to the WCW World Title, Al Greene re-packaged.
    
  • A lot of generic brawling and no-selling on the part of Greene.
  • And Finlay.
  • And Knobbs.
  • Did you expect more?
  • WOW! A WRESTLING MOVE!
    • It was only a press slam, but still.
  • Greene slams Shane Helms through a table for the win.
  • Your Winner: The Dog/Fit Finlay/Brian Knobbs via pinfall

• Backstage, Gene interviews La Parka.
  • La Parka has a new costume on, it's basically the same, except blue and white.
  • Another voice is dubbed in over La Parka's voice.
  • He runs through a lot of Konnan's schtick.
  • One chair shot for him, one for his homies.
    
  • Gene looks puzzled as the interview ends.
    • I think the voice is DDP's benefactor, better known as the hummer driver. He is currently trying to get into the One Warrior Nation.

• Commercials
  • I swear, one more of those The Truth.com commercials and I'm going to start smoking.

• Gene is in the nWo office.
  • It's a spelling test!
    
  • 3 out of 4 of the girls fail, the 4^th gets her word right.
    • The word is "rat", a word Jarrett says they should be familiar with.

• Match 4: The Demon (w/o Interest or a Chance) vs. La Parka
  • The nice thing about Demon matches is you always know the result.
  • They discuss La Parka's win streak.
    • While not mentioning Demon's losing streak.
  • So now a win over Berlyn is a big win?
    • I guess Tenay also said there are a lot of great minds in WCW and the Cruiserweight division has never been better, so we know he is full of it.
  • Demon gains the advantage with some generic brawling.
  • Demon tries to go up top, but gets crotched on the turnbuckle by La Parka.
  • La Parka sets up a chair, hits Demon with a chop, then positions him on the ropes.
  • It looked like he was going for a frankensteiner, but Demon slapped him a few times, then threw him face first into the chair.
  • Demon runs back and forth, dances, then drops an elbow.
  • Demon goes for a full nelson, but La Parka kicks him low.
  • La Parka up top with a corkscrew senton splash.
  • La Parka gets the three count!
  • Your Winner: La Parka via pinfall

• Backstage, Nick Patrick tells Mark Johnson to get ready for his match against Mickie Jay.

• Road Report

• Gene is backstage with the nWo.
  • The first 3 women lost in the arm wrestling contest to Jarrett and the Harris Goons.
  • The fourth defeats Gene easily.
  • This is so pointless.

• Backstage, Sting says he is going to face TP for the last time at Uncensored.
  • If only that were true.
• TP is walking to the ring, claiming what he does to Vampiro is only a sample of what Sting will get.
• Vampiro walks to the ring.
  • Does that green light and mist follow him everywhere?

• Backstage, Miss Hancock is seen talking to Buff on the KidCam.
  • He tells her he has an important match to mail in, so he'll get back to her.

• Match 5: The Total Package (W/Elizabeth) vs. Vampiro (W/Kidman's old music)
  • And I thought TAFKAPI's entrance is long...
    • First clue your entrance is too long, YOUR MUSIC LOOPS AND STARTS OVER!
  • Odd, Vampiro came out to his old music at the House Show I went to last Sunday, but now he came out to Kidman's old music again.
    • Anyone know why? E-mail me if you do.
  • Tenay compares Vampiro to Sting several years ago.
  • Lock-up into the corner.
  • Luger slaps Vampiro.
  • Vampiro with a few chops and a hip toss.
  • Vampiro with a running shoulder block.
  • Vampiro slaps Luger.
  • Luger attempts a clothesline, Vampiro ducks and kicks him.
  • Luger begs Vampiro off, then throws him into the turnbuckle.
  • Luger with a belly to back slam.
  • Loud "Luger Sucks" chant.
  • Luger shoves Vampiro into the rope, then elbows him in the lower back.
  • Press slam by Luger.
  • Luger with a sloppy powerslam for a 2 count.
  • Luger attempts a Torture Rack, but Vampiro flips over backwards and hits Luger with a spinning calf kick.
  • Diving clothesline from Vampiro.
  • Vampiro whips Luger into the corner, then whips him into another corner for no apparent reason.
  • This time he uses a bulldog. (Well, not really a real bulldog. He just grabbed his hair.)
    • According to my Tony Schiavone Wrestling Guide, that was a Sidewalk Slam.
  • Flair comes down to ringside.
  • Vamp fights them both off.
  • Liz hits Vamp in the back with a bat.
  • Torture Rack, Vamp submits.
  • Your Winner: The Total Package via submission
  • Post match, Team Package beats down Vampiro. He gets his arm broke too.
  • Good match considering Luger was involved.

• Replay of what just happened for those of you who fell asleep during Luger's entrance and are just waking up.

• Backstage, Vampiro refuses medical help. Fit Finlay attacks him.

• "Match 6": Mickie Jay vs. Mark Johnson.
  • In our time filler match of the night, Mickie Jay hit Mark Johnson with a roll of quarters referee Nick Patrick gave him to get the win.
  • Your Winner: Mickie Jay via pinfall

• The Wall is getting ready to kill any interest I may have had in this show.
  • He faces Crowbar next.

• Gene is backstage with the nWo office.
  • nWo bimbo #4 wins the swimsuit contest.
    

• Match 7: Crowbar (W/David Flair and Daffney) vs. The Wall
  • How's this Xavier?
  • Der Wall! Heil boredom!
  • Crowbar knocks Wall off the apron before the match starts.
  • Slingshot crossbody to the outside on Wall.
  • Crowbar slams Wall into the guard rail.
  • Wall gets tired of selling and presses Crowbar, then throws him into the ring.
  • Crowbar with some kicks and punches, Wall whips Crowbar into the ropes, connecting with a sloppy boot to the face.
  • Torgo in, Wall grabs him and chokeslams him. Wall throws Torgo out.
  • Wall charges Crowbar, but Crowbar ducks and gets thrown outside.
  • Crowbar with a dropkick outside.
  • Crowbar grabs a chair and plasters Wall with it.
  • Crowbar to the top turnbuckle, connecting with a splash outside.
  • Wall gets up on the apron. Crowbar tries to suplex him in, but Wall uses a front suplex to counter.
  • Wall tries to go up top, but Crowbar catches him with a dropkick.
  • Crowbar with some kicks to Wall on the apron. Crowbar climbs out onto the apron, then runs at Wall.
  • Wall, once again, gets bored with selling and grabs Crowbar by the throat.
  • Chokeslam through the announcers table! Impressive!
  • We get several replays of this.
  • The ref calls for the bell.
  • I'm assuming Crowbar wins by DQ.
  • Your Winner: Crowbar via Disqualification
  • Daffney screams and laughs insanely at Wall.

• Back from commercial, paramedics put Crowbar on a stretcher.
• We get more replays of this.

• Recap of the recent Hogan/Luger feud.

• Gene interviews Sid, Kidman and Booker backstage
  • Um, they say "ass" a lot and say they're going to win.

• Flair and Bagwell are heading to the ring.

• Ad for DDP's book
  • Nick: "So where is DDP anyhow?"
  • Taking his sweet time getting me his book I ordered.

• Gene is back in the nWo locker room.
  • We have a 3-way tie for last place, so worst looking nWo bimbo gets booted.
  • Bimbo's 1, 2 and 3 give Bimbo 4 a makeover, so Jarrett says she looks horrible and she loses.
  • What a waste of time.

• Crowbar is put into the ambulance.

• Match 8: Buff Bagwell vs. Ric Flair
  • Buff poses to start.
    • Surprised me!
  • Flair with a headlock, Buff whips him to the ropes.
  • Buff with a drop toe hold, then a piss-poor Figure Four Leglock.
  • Flair escapes to the ropes.
  • Buff with some punches and a back body drop.
  • More punches by Buff.
  • Buff puts Flair in the corner with yet MORE punches.
  • Yes! Flair flop!
  • Flair with a punch to the gut, then a whip to the ropes.
  • Bagwell counters with a backslide for a 1 count.
  • Bagwell in the corner with yet more punches.
  • The ref warns Buff about the fists.
  • Flair kicks Buff low, then hits him low again for good measure.
  • Flair throws Buff in the corner, followed by a chop.
  • Flair chokes Buff, then puts him in the corner for more chops.
  • Bagwell starts no-selling, then goes back to more punches.
  • Bagwell whips Flair into the corner, then back-drops him.
  • Buff stomps Flair in the corner, then whips him into the corner, where Flair flips over it.
  • You know what happens next?
  • If you guessed Bagwell delivers the laziest clothesline I have ever seen, you win.
  • Flair gives Buff a "Greco-Roman" thumb to the eye, then tries to go up top.
  • Bagwell catches him, then goes for a superplex.
  • Both men are down as Luger and Liz come down to ringside.
  • Buff hits Flair with a Blockbuster, but Liz distracts the ref.
  • Luger hits Buff with the bat and pulls Flair on top.
  • 1, 2, 3. Flair wins.
  • Your Winner: Ric Flair via pinfall
  • Post match, Team Package beat up Bagwell until Curt Hennig chases them off.

• The nWo walks to the ring.
• As does Sid, Kidman and Booker.

• Replay of Crowbar going through the table earlier.
  • With a different camera angle, it shows just how high Crowbar was.
  • I'll say it again, pretty impressive.

• Backstage, Buff Bagwell picks up nWo Bimbo #4.

• Match 9: WCW U.S Champion Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins vs. WCW World Champion Sid Vicious/Kidman/Booker
  • Jarrett orders the nWo Bimbos backstage.
  • Sid comes out first, Booker and Kidman come out a bit later as if they weren't important.
  • Booker and Jarrett to start.
  • Booker with a headlock, Jarrett whips Booker to the ropes.
  • Booker with a shoulder block.
  • Jarrett tried a hip toss, but Booker reverses into a hip toss of his own.
  • Booker body slams Jarrett, who manages to tag Harris Goon #1.
  • Flying forearm by Booker.
  • Booker tags Kidman, who dropkicks HG #1 several times, then uses a head scissor.
  • HG #1 tags HG #2, who gets met with a drop toe hold from Kidman.
  • Kidman tries a hip-toss, HG #2 reverses. Kidman tries a Fame Asser (Or whatever it is called.)
  • HG #2 powers out and clotheslines Kidman.
  • Tag to HG #1.
  • HG #1 with a front slam, then a tag to Jarrett.
  • Jarrett chokes Kidman on the ropes, then tries to jump on Kidman's head but he moves.
  • Jarrett stumbles back into Sid, but the ref keeps Sid and Booker out.
  • Jarrett with a sleeperhold on Kidman.
  • Kidman with a whip and a sleeper of his own.
  • Jarrett whips Kidman into the corner, then charges, but Kidman ducks.
  • Kidman avoids both Harris Goons, then tags both Sid and Booker.
  • Sid clotheslines Jarrett down, Booker lands a Harlem Sidekick on one of the Harris Goons.
  • Harlem Sidekick on the other Harris Goon while Sid chokeslams Jarrett.
  • Sid signals for the powerbomb.
  • And he does.
  • Sid knocks a Harris Goon off the apron while Booker goes for the pin, but the other Harris Goon pulls the ref out to break the count, but somehow, not earn a disqualification.
  • Booker picks up Jarrett, while Kidman climbs the turnbuckle.
  • A Harris Goon hits Booker low from behind while Jarrett ducks Kidman's missile dropkick, so it hits Booker.
  • Jarrett covers for the 3 count while the Harris Goon blocks Kidman.
  • Your Winner: Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins via pinfall
  • Post match, The Harris Goons H-Bomb both Booker and Kidman, then try to on Sid.
  • He tried to escape, but got El Cabonged by Jarrett.
  • As per standard WCW policy, the faces are left laying when we leave.

• The show is a long way from where it should be.

• I'd like to thank Bill for letting me do this report. Although the show sucked, it was fun writing the report.

The Good: I got to write this report.

The Bad: I had to watch Thunder to write it.

The Ugly: Where to start...