WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, April 24th, 2000

• Shameless plug for a project of mine to start this week. Despite the fact my Kanyon website isn't official, I do keep in touch with him. Recently I got to do a short Q&A with him online and post it on my page. If that's something you'd like to read, check it out here. To (hopefully) stop people from asking, yes I do have his e-mail address, no you can't have it. I'm not being a jerk about this, that's just his wishes. If you have a question you'd like me to ask somewhere down the line, e-mail me here.

That said, let's dip into the mailbag.

• Mailbag:
  • Neil suggests:

    Your Nitro report was great, as usual, except for one thing. Now is a BAD time for Hogan vs. Hart. Why? Because Hogan is already involved in a semi-main event feud, and Hart isn't involved in anything. Ergo, the Hitman loses. Bret Hart, the classical example of the technical wrestler, jobbing to Hulk Hogan, the classic example of a fat ass with an oddly shaven beard relying on a punch-kick offense and kids with yellow signs. Not what I (and I would hope you and everyone else) want to see. On the other hand, perhaps now would be a good time to build up to a fantastic Starrcade main event...Hart vs. Hogan for the big gold belt...?

    Just a thought.

  • Ren5514 writes:

  What makes the angle with Tank Abbott lame is that he knows no wrestling moves, at the very least a finisher. There might be more of an impact if he were interfering in matches and power bombing people, putting them in the Lion Tamer, or anything but just punching them. Since issuing his challenge, Tank has beaten up Mark Madden and been prevented from beating up another. If Goldberg thinks Madden is as annoying as everyone else does, why would a Madden beat down cause him to rush back to the ring? Maybe Goldberg is hoping that DJ Ran is next.

  I might actually start to like Goldberg AND Tank Abbott if that were the case. I really wish he'd take out the sound tech guy next.
  • Andy updates us on the whereabouts of the heathen:

    I was watching Ultrasound on MTV and they had on former MTV VJ's and guess who was featured, Ricky Rachtman. He talked about how he was on Headbanger's Ball and then they had a "Where are they now" part of the show and he mentioned WCW. He talked like he was some sort of bad-ass throughout the show. He talked about Pirate Radio and why he got kicked off of it, now, this is kind of funny... Ricky said he was dating an adult film star (who is also on the cover of Blink 182's Enima Of The State album) and another DJ was talking trash about her and he went into the station and beat him up and got arrested. He said now he does whatever he wants and it showed how he wanted to host his own NASCAR show and he did that. I don't think anybody considers WCW Motorsports a TV Show.

  • Chris points out:

    I have a point to add to your "THE BAD" about Monday Nitro. I don't know if you taped the thing, but you really need to watch it in slow-mo. At the very beginning (around the time Hogan is coming to the ring at the very beginning) you see Hennig walking right behind Shawn Stasiak. It was very subtle, but anyone watching close enough is forced to sit back and view this as a farce. If I'm to truly believe a feud between Stasiak and Hennig, the two can't walk arm in arm together backstage. That's just terrible camera work or bad production.

    Seriously, please watch it if you have it on TV and tell me if I'm wrong.

    The world knows wrestling isn't always real, but when you see something like that the "fake" impression really overshadows the entertainment aspect. I can't and won't take Stasiak and Hennig as a legit fued. not when they walk around backstage on camera like that.

    Come on WCW!

    I checked that out after I got this e-mail and sure enough, as DDP walks into the arena, you can clearly see Hennig and Stasiak walk by. Decent storylines isn't the only thing WCW needs to get back on top, especially when crap like that gets on TV. The next letter is another point I forgot to mention..

  • Nick also points out:

    The show was awful right from the begining. I haven't seen anything that bad since Kevin Nash and Hogan's hour long video segments when they took over both nWo's. Speaking of Hogan, was it just me or did he get lost on his way to the ring?

    Seriously, how difficult is it for Hogan to learn ahead of time where to go to get to the ring? I guess the mind is one of the first things to go at his age..

• WCW Logo

• Recap of last week.

• Backstage, Sting and Vampiro brawl.
  • Sting leaves when he has Vamp down, leaving Vamp the chance to hit him from behind with a pipe.

• And we are live from Rochester, New York.

• The announcers wonder who did Bret Hart hit last week.
  • Um, weren't you there last week?
  • We'll find out later, but first we get a match.

• Match 1: WCW Hardcore Champion Terry Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
  • Bigelow attacks Funk in the aisle from behind.
  • Bigelow throws Funk around until Cat runs down and attacks Bigelow.
  • Bigelow throws Cat off, but gets hit with a chair by Funk.
  • Bigelow regains control, rolling Funk inside.
  • Bigelow goes inside and puts a trash can over Funk and hits it with a chair.
  • A couple times.
  • Cat comes down to the ring, kicking Bigelow.
  • Funk falls over Bigelow and gets the pin.
  • Your Winner: Terry Funk via pinfall
  • Cat dances after the "match".

• The announcers mention Hogan taking out Kidman last week, then bring up Hart again.
• The footage from last week shows Hart hitting Hogan with the chair.
• The announcers say Hart will be on Thunder to discuss why he did it.
• Meanwhile, Kidman comes to the ring with Torrie.
• He has his ribs taped.
• He says last week, he dared Hogan to meet him in the parking lot.
• He says Hogan realized he is more man than Hogan can handle.
• So he tried to kill him with the Hummer.
• But he's back.
• Tonight, he wants Hogan to bring the yellow, he'll bring the red; Hogan's blood.
• He'll finish things at Slamboree.
• Backstage, Bischoff, Jarrett and Kimberly arrive.

• Backstage, Norman Smiley begs Russo to let him try to beat Funk again.
• Russo says he can get a partner and they can face Funk at Slamboree.

• Jarrett, Kimberly and Bischoff come out to the ring.
• Kimberly is carrying some papers.
• Ugh, David Arquette is at ringside.
• Jarrett says at Slamboree, DDP can star in a movie of him kicking DDP's ass.
• They show some scenes from Ready to Rumble of the three-tiered cage.
• Jarrett says this time, there's no stuntman.
• Jarrett will beat his ass and neglect it, just like he did his lovely wife.
• Bischoff say Kim has the last present she'll ever give him.
• So DDP should get his ass out there.
• And he does.
• DDP wants to know why Kim is with them.
• Kim says for once, she's in the drivers seat.
• She said once, they had something special.
• But Eric enlightened her to a lot of things.
• Her career, these fans.
• But most of all, to him (DDP).
• She says she wants out, she wants a divorce.
• DDP says she's out of her mind.
• He says they can work this out.
• She doesn't want to.
• She says he's embarrassing himself, begging like that.
• DDP calls her a super bitch, then Eric the Grey tells him to settle down.
• DDP says he'll sign the paper, after he shoves them down Eric's throat and starts choking him.
• Jarrett hits DDP in the back with a guitar.
• Arquette gets in the ring and takes down Bischoff, punching him while Jarrett just watches.
• Jarrett decides to do something about it, throwing Arquette into the corner.
• Kanyon hits the ring and takes out Jarrett.
• Bischoff says if Arquette wants in the ring, he can tonight with Bischoff.
• Arquette says that's fine, if he wins, DDP gets a shot tonight at Jarrett, in the cage.
• Bischoff agrees, while Jarrett tries to grab the mic away.

• Backstage, Kronik tells Russo they want their shot tonight.
• Russo says if they want it, they have to do him a favor.

• Recap of what just happened

• Jarrett yells at Bischoff backstage.
• Bischoff says it's no problem, it's only David Arquette.

• Sting wanders the halls looking for Vampiro.

• Match 2: WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Chris Candido and Tammy Sytch vs. TAFKAPI and Paisley
• The announcers play up Bischoff vs. Arquette.
• Tammy asks the crowd if they missed her.
• She says she can show Paisley what people want.
• What follows is a terrifying horrible match that features Tammy standing around with a very confused look.
• Though Tammy did hit an impressive cross body block to the outside on Candido and TAFKAPI.
• Candido and TAFKAPI fight outside, meanwhile...
• In the ring, Tammy gyrates over Paisley, then sits down and pins Paisley for 3.
• Your Winner: Chris Candido and Tammy Sytch via pinfall
• Sting continues the search for Vampiro.
• Candido and Tammy continue to celebrate as Sting hits the ring.
• Tammy panics and runs, leaving Candido with his back to Sting.
• Sting grabs Candido and gives him the Scorpion Death Drop.
• Sting wants Vamp tonight.
• He says because Vamp is Vampiro, why not make it a first blood match?
• He says he'll be seeing him later.

• Backstage, DDP and Kanyon coach Arquette.

• Local ad for the May 6th ECW Show in Minneapolis, MN.
• Neat, apparently I'll see Mike Awesome there.

• Match 3: The Total Package and Ric Flair (W/Elizabeth) vs. Kronik
• Luger fights with Clarke, Flair fights with Adams.
• Miss Hancock comes to ringside to watch.
• Kronik pushes their respective foe into the corner and kicks them.
• Buff hits the ring with a bat and a bell rings.
• Liz grabs the bat from Bagwell and Luger attacks Buff.
• Douglas hits the ring and hits Flair with a bat.
• Kronik grabs Flair for a double chokeslam.
• And plants him. They call that "High Time".
• They pin him and the ref counts 3.
• Your Winner: Kronik, I guess
• Buff and Douglas beat on Team Package post match, while Kronik watches on.
• Buff gives the bat to Adams, who throws it down and attacks Buff.
• Kronik beats down Buff and Douglas.
• This f'n blows.

• Gene interviews Vampiro backstage.
• Gene asks if Vamp accepts the match.
• Vamp says he's a little insane and he would love nothing more than to stick his finger in Sting's eye and watch it bleed.
• He says he's a little bit freaky and about to have a panic attack, because he can't handle this.
• As the spider said to the fly, come, come into my web boy.
• I guess that's yes.
• I've got $5 that says that match ends in something other than someone bleeding.

• Backstage, Bischoff yells at Kidman for making a match with Hogan.

• Gene interview Bischoff with Mike Awesome, Kidman and Kimberly.
• Bischoff says Awesome will be the protection for Kidman, so Hogan has to find a partner as well.
• Also, at Slamboree, Bischoff will be the special referee for Hogan/Kidman.

• Match 4: Mike Awesome and Kidman (W/Torrie) vs. Hulk Hogan and ???
• Kidman imitates Hogan's posing.
• "Stone Cold" Hulk Hogan comes to the ring alone.
• On the back of Hogan's vest, it reads "F.U.N.B."
• Hogan "N.B. stands for New Blood, you figure out what the F.U. stands for."
• Hogan no-sells a whole lot, taking both of them on.
• Apparently, his partner is his ego tonight.
• Kidman bails outside and it's Awesome and Hogan one on one.
• Well, two on one. Almost forgot Hogan's ego.
• Not much to talk about, Hogan punches Awesome a bunch, a few clotheslines.
• Hogan takes off the weight belt and whips him.
• Awesome takes control briefly, Hogan catches him in the corner with a boot.
• Hogan chokes Awesome on the ground.
• Then with the weight belt.
• Awesome gets the belt away from Hogan and punches him in the corner, Hogan kicks Awesome low.
• More punches.
• Awesome pushes Hogan in the corner and punches him while Kidman gets in the ring and whips Hogan with the belt.
• Awesome splashes Hogan for 2.
• They go for a double clothesline, Hogan ducks and takes them both out.
• Hogan takes both out with some punches.
• Awesome whips Hogan with the belt.
• Hogan with a thumb to the eye and the DREADED BACK RAKE!!!
• Hogan hits a boot to the face, then he picks up Awesome and slams him.
• Kidman distracts Hogan.
• Hogan picks up Awesome and throws him outside.
• Hogan throws Awesome around outside.
• Kidman hits Hogan from behind with a chair.
• Inside, Kidman whips Hogan with the belt some more.
• Awesome goes under the ring for a table.
• Kidman and Awesome set up the table inside while Hogan is down.
• Awesome powerbombs Hogan through the table.
• Backstage, Kevin Nash walks through a curtain and sees what's happening.
• Awesome and Kidman set up another table.
• Awesome sets Hogan on the table while Kidman goes up top.
• Kidman splashes Hogan while Awesome grabs Kidman for more momentum.
• Kidman tears off his Hogan T-shirt.
• He calls to the fans, then leg drops Hogan and pins him!
• Your Winner: Kidman and Mike Awesome via pinfall
• Wolfpac music plays and Big Lazy comes to the ring.
• He hits Kidman and Awesome with some knee lifts and punches until Torrie hits him low from behind.

• Bischoff, Jarrett and Kimberly.

• Arquette and DDP are heading to the ring.

• Recap of what just happened.

• Match 5: Eric Bischoff (W/Jeff Jarrett and Kimberly) vs. David Arquette (W/Diamond Dallas Page)
• This is going to be ugly..
• Sign "Rather be at Raw"
• We know my feelings on that one.
• Bischoff kicks Arquette a bunch.
• Arquette spears Bischoff!
• Arquette drops an elbow and goes for the pin, getting 2 before someone yanks the ref out.
• The ref points at.. the camera man! The camera man must have joined the New Blood!
• Wait, Jarrett's behind the camera man, my bad.
• DDP tries to take out Jarrett, but he hits the ref.
• Jarrett plasters DDP with the belt.
• Jarrett gets in the ring, distracting Arquette.
• Bischoff hits Arquette low.
• Bischoff holds Arquette for Jarrett to hit with the guitar.
• Arquette ducks and Jarrett hits Bischoff.
• Kanyon hits the ring and takes out Jarrett.
• Arquette rolls over Bischoff and pins him.
• Your Winner: David Arquette via pinfall
• DDP and Kanyon celebrate with Arquette.
• The lights flash and Sting is seen above in the rafters.

• Recap of what just happened

• Backstage, Kanyon and Arquette celebrate with some blonde bimbo in a bikini.
• She has a microphone, so apparently, she is some kind of announcer.
• She asks where DDP is, Arquette says he is getting ready for his "title defense".

• Scott Steiner comes out with his hoochies and some new music.
• His music is police sirens, wonder why? =)
• He rambles on about last night and his hoochies.
• He says he went to New York, to try to find Booker T.
• He says last week, Booker cost him the World Title.
• He doesn't care if he was just trying to get on Bischoff and Russo's good side, cuz now he's on his bad side.
• Booker says last week was business, not personal.
• Jarrett went around whining and Bischoff told him to do something quick to get on his good side.
• Steiner was in the wrong place, at the wrong time.
• Booker tells them if they can't get along, they can get it on.
• Steiner's hoochies move to get behind Booker.
• Booker says he don't want them getting their hands on him, cuz once they've had black, they'll never go back.
• Steiner attacks Booker and a brawl ensues until we go to commercial break.
• Back from commercial, they brawled outside, until security separated them.

• Kanyon and Arquette continued to celebrate while DDP got ready for his match.

• Russo tells Buff and Douglas that they have a match tonight against Kronik.
• Buff and Douglas object, Russo says it's not their choice, they're going to.

• Match 6: WCW World Tag Team Champions Shane Douglas and Buff Bagwell (W/Vince Russo) vs. Kronik
• Adams throws Buff out, Clarke take Douglas into the corner and hits him with some knee lifts.
• Clarke chops Douglas and pounds on him.
• Clarke turns and knocks Buff off the apron.
• Douglas catches Clarke with a front suplex.
• Douglas tags Buff, who goes to work with some kicks.
• Clarke takes Buff down with a chops.
• Buff comes back with a swinging neck breaker.
• Buff tags Douglas.
• They whip Clarke into the ropes and catch him with a double clothesline.
• Douglas covers for 2.
• Douglas with some punches.
• Clarke catches Douglas with a bear hug.
• Adams grabs Douglas and drops his neck across the rope.
• Both teams makes tags.
• Adams takes Buff down with a clothesline.
• Adams with a full nelson slam on Buff, but Douglas is there to break the pin.
• Adams and Clarke grab Buff for the High Time, meanwhile Buff throws the ref over the top rope.
• Buff grabs Douglas' pants so he can't leave the ground.
• It was pretty well bleeped, but Hudson said something that started with "F" (I think) and Madden flipped out on him.
• High Time for Buff.
• Russo leaves the announce booth and jumps in the ring with the bat and hits Adams to break the pin.
• Clarke grabs him from behind, slams him down so he drops the bat, then hooks him for the Meltdown.
• Douglas gets the bat, while Clarke watches, and hits Clarke in the back with it.
• Buff takes both men out with the bat again.
• The ref gets on the apron to call for the DQ, but Russo takes him out.
• Buff pins Adams while Russo counts 3.
• Your Winner: Kronik via disqualification
• Good match, best so far. A clean finish would have been nice, but you take what you can get.

• Tank Abbott heads to the ring.
• And Madden wets himself.

• Tank comes out to the ring.
• Ugh, they replay the shirtless Madden from 2 weeks ago.
• More of his taunting Goldberg.
• And we get another victim.
• Tank looks around.
• Madden hides behind Schiavone.
• Tank approaches the announcers.
• Madden climbs the guardrail.
• Tank, please hit Schiavone!
• Tank chases off a camera man.
• He approaches the internet location!
• Hit Bob Ryder, please!
• He grabs him and throws him over the desk!
• Ryder might be fatter than Madden!
• Nah, not possible.
• Tank rolls (literally) Ryder into the ring and roughs him up.
• Jeremy Borash runs in the ring to help Ryder.
• Madden, Ryder, Borash, Tank is my hero!
• Tank slams Borash in the corner and punches him.
• Bill Banks gets in the ring and gets knocked out immediately!
• Security runs down to help the internet crew.
• This segment is becoming a personal favorite.
• Hey Tank, think you could finish the job on Schiavone next week?

• Match 7: WCW World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett (W/Vince Russo) vs. Diamond Dallas Page - Steel Cage Match
• The cage has a roof, think Hell in the Cell.
• DDP goes up top of the cage to pose.
• DDP jumps Jarrett before he gets in the cage.
• DDP takes Jarrett through the crowd.
• Jarrett hits DDP with a garbage can.
• DDP throws Jarrett over a guardrail.
• The brawl over by the entryway, nowhere near the cage.
• DDP throws Jarrett into the cage door.
• Jarrett catches DDP on the way in with a kick.
• Jarrett tries to whip DDP into the cage, DDP reverses and throws Jarrett into the cage a few times.
• DDP catapults Jarrett into the turnbuckle.
• Jarrett hits DDP low when he goes for some punches, then drops DDP face first on the turnbuckle.
• Jarrett with some kicks.
• Jarrett throws DDP into the cage.
• Jarrett picks him up and does it again.
• More kicks.
• DDP throws Jarrett into the corner and lands some punches.
• DDP throws Jarrett into the far turnbuckle and knocks him down with a punch.
• Jarrett gets up and DDP takes him down again with a punch.
• DDP with a discus clothesline.
• DDP calls for the diamond cutter.
• Mike Awesome hits the cage and takes out the ref outside, then tries to rip off the door.
• We miss what happened inside, but Jarrett has control, so DDP missed the diamond cutter.
• Jarrett with a DDT.
• Jarrett mocks DDP, then picks him up.
• Attempt at a scoop slam, DDP drops behind and hits the diamond cutter!
• Awesome rips the door off the cage, but Kanyon hits the ring and takes out Awesome while DDP covers!
• DDP gets the 3 count!
• Your Winner and NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Diamond Dallas Page
• DDP, Kanyon and David Arquette celebrate in the crowd!
• Real good match, both guys worked hard. More of this please!

• Recap of DDP winning the belt.

• Match 8: Vampiro vs. Sting - First Blood Match
• First guy to bleed, loses. Pretty simple.
• Sting's music plays, lights flash.
• Vamp looks spooked.
• Sting drops from the rafters into the entryway.
• Vamp doesn't see him.
• Vamp finally sees Sting, who is caught in his harness.
• Vamp charges and takes him into the ring.
• Sting fights back with some kicks and chops.
• Sting tries to clothesline Vamp out, but Vamp stays inside.
• Sting pounds on Vamp, then finally clotheslines him outside.
• Vamp destroys some stuff, then goes inside.
• It's all Sting, no offense for Vamp.
• Sting suplexes Vamp.
• Sting throws Vamp back outside.
• Vamp gets up on the announcers table, points at Sting and runs his thumb over his throat.
• A TON of red liquid dumps on Sting from above.
• Vamp slides inside and plants him (kinda) with the Nail in the Coffin.
• The New Blood hits the ring and beats on Sting.
• Sting tries to fight back, but it's like 6 on 1.
• Vamp drags Sting over to the cable where Sting came down and hooks him up.
• The lift it up a few feet and Vamp beats on Sting while he hangs and we fade...
• Guess that's a no contest, anyone who took me up on my offer owes me $5.

• Feel free to send me feedback here.

The Good: DDP vs. Jarrett and Buff/Douglas vs. Kronik were both good. Hardcore Hogan was kinda cool. Tank took out Bob Ryder, Jeremy Borash and Bill Banks.

The Bad: The first hour sucked. Tank should have hit Schiavone.

The Ugly: They should never show Madden shirtless again, even if it is a recap.