What follows is a picture of the American flag superimposed on a trailer park with "Taps" playing in the background. The screen goes black again and we see the words "Another one bites the dust..."
- Midajah, Ric Flair and Animal accompany Scott.
- The announcers say that later on tonight, Eric Bischoff will be calling in "live" for a special announcement.
- Scott reiterates that DDP is white trash during his spiel.
- Scott says that DDP was not the last man standing. Rather, DDP was being saved for last.
- Scott runs down a list of his victims.
- Scott tells everyone to pay homage to him.
- Ric Flair gets the mic and puts over Scott.
- Ric throws up some revisionist history by claiming he and Jeff Jarrett defeated the Rhodes clan last night.
- Ric is saddened that he didn't make Dusty Rhodes kiss his Gator ass tonight.
- The Rhodes' appear on a monitor and set things straight.
- Dusty threatens a liplock on his ass from Ric.
- Scott interrupts by asking who Dusty thinks he is.
- Dusty tells Scott that someone wants him now.
- "Don't hate the player" plays, bringing out the new U. S. champ (and #1 contender to Scott's belt) Booker T.
- The announcers play up the #1 contender fact.
- Scott (to Booker): "I beat your ass so bad, you forgot what a barber shop was."
- Booker (to Scott): "Would you please shut the hell up?" Say, someone else says that, I think.
- Booker says he came back for Scott's title.
- Booker tells Ric to save the drama for his mama.
- Booker says he talked to "the man" today and he gave a message to Scott: be in the ring one hour from now with the belt.
- In what could be the last production miscue ever for WCW (Ha!), Scott Hudson talks about Jett beating Kwee-Wee at Greed while we see a clip of Jett defeating Alex Wright on Thunder.
- Hudson does mention the Wright match after the clip, though.
- Jett's opponent, Disqo, is accompanied by Mike Sanders.
- Disqo says when he raises his index finger, he wants complete silence.
- Disqo introduces everyone to Sanders.
- Disqo tells Alex Wright to pay attention because he's wrestling the guy who beat Wright.
- Disqo wishes Wright luck in his singles career and calls him a big, bald loser.
- Jett starts with a headlock.
- Jett with a spinning drop toehold.
- Disqo with a headlock and a takedown.
- Jett tries a kick but Disqo grabs the leg.
- Jett with a backflip, and he comes off the ropes and applies a hip toss powerbomb for two.
- Jett whips Disqo and tries an armdrag, but Disqo blocks.
- Jett counters a Bottoms Up into a sit-out powerbomb for two.
- Heel distraction by Sanders leads to a clothesline by Disqo.
- Disqo distracts the referee, allowing Sanders to get a kick in outside.
- Back in, Disqo hits a swinging neckbreaker.
- And another.
- And again, but Jett swats him to the corner and applies a bridging roll-up for two.
- Disqo drops Jett's face on his knee and covers for two.
- Disqo with a spinning toehold into a splash on the leg.
- Twice, in fact.
- On the ropes, Disqo drops a knee onto the back.
- Disqo distracts the ref, allowing Sanders to get some offense in.
- Russian legsweep leads to choking.
- Sanders comes in as the ref gets distracted again, but misses a kneedrop.
- Jett takes out Sanders and hits the Afterburner on Disqo.
- Standing moonsault gets two.
- Jett charges Disqo at the ropes and gets bodydropped onto the apron, but Disqo mistimes and ends up crotching Jett on the ropes instead. Oops!
- Disqo regroups and hits a DDT for two.
- Disqo tries the same thing again, but Jett counters into a Northern Lights for two as Sanders makes the save.
- Jett dropkicks Sanders out of the ring.
- Jett then hits the Crash Landing (think of a gourdbuster, but Jett releases his opponent and spins him so that he lands on his back) for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Jason Jett via Crash Landing in 4:58.
- I still don't see what the Nitro Girls dancing entrance does to enhance Helms' status.
- Helms cuts a promo, complete with "Cletus the Slack Jaw Yokel" voice.
- Helms throws a challenge to Billy Kidman, claiming he took his spot at Superbrawl.
- Kidman makes his way out.
- We get the Handshake of Doom to start.
- Feeling-out process follows, with Kidman getting the upper hand off a headscissors.
- Both men go outside, and Kidman gets sent to the rail.
- Helms re-enters the ring, runs the ropes and nails a somersault dive.
- Back inside, Helms hits a bodypress for two.
- Kidman tries a powerbomb, but Helms escapes.
- Kidman tries to finish, but Helms blocks.
- Kidman eventually gets in a backdrop suplex for two.
- Helms whips Kidman to the corner.
- Kidman floats over a charge and hits a sit-out powerbomb for two.
- Schiavone alludes to the WCW hiatus by calling next week's show the "season finale." Funny, I didn't know wrestling promotions in the States had seasons.
- Helms with a drop sleeper for two.
- Kidman fights a suplex and gets an inverted one of his own for two.
- Kidman whips Helms to the ropes but runs into a boot.
- Helms applies a running neckbreaker for two.
- Helms tries a TKO but Kidman lands on his feet.
- Kidman headlocks Helms and walks the ropes, but gets shoved aside.
- Kidman runs Helms to the corner chest-first and tries the Kid Krusher on the rebound.
- Helms counters this into the Vertebreaker for the win!
- YOUR WINNER: Shane Helms via Vertebreaker in 3:40.
- Post-match, Chavo Guerrero, Jr. tries the run-in but Helms holds his own.
- The new Cruiserweight tag champs and Rey Mysterio, Jr. run in for a giant melee.
- As expected, the faces clear the ring.
- Too compressed.
- Stacy Keibler makes her way out to an anemic pop.
- Stacy speaks and brings out the Mecca of Minirecorders.
- Said Mecca comes out with REALLY bad music and new pink tights.
- Shawn speaks. I fast-forward.
- Bigelow heads to the ring.
- Bigelow charges at Stasiak, who uses his woman as a shield. Chivalry is NOT dead, folks!
- Punching to start.
- Bigelow tries a German suplex, but Stasiak grabs Mickey Jay's belt to block.
- Mickey slaps Stasiak's hand away, who in turn ends up mule-kicking Bigelow in the groin.
- Stasiak goes on offense, which isn't a good thing because all he does is kick and punch.
- Stasiak tries a bulldog but Bigelow counters by slamming him to the mat.
- Stasiak comes back with a clothesline.
- Stacy heads onto the apron and throws Stasiak the HAIRSPRAY OF HORRORS!
- Bigelow intercepts the catch, gives the hairspray to Stasiak and plants him with the Greetings From Asbury Park!
- Bigelow covers and gets the pin!
- YOUR WINNER: Bam Bam Bigelow via Greetings From Asbury Park in 1:43.
- Post-match, Shawn Stasiak says Bigelow cheated.
- Bigelow says he went from a zero to hero.
- Stasiak says he'll put anything on the line for a rematch.
- Bigelow accepts, on the condition that he gets to tattoo "that prissy little thing in the ring" should he win.
- Stasiak agrees and says that Stacy will do anything for him.
- Bigelow rebutts and says that he wasn't talking about Stacy, but about Stasiak.
- Crap match, but it's nice to see Bigelow finally get a leg up after all the shit he's endured through his career.
- As the lights come back on, we see Terry Taylor in the ring.
- Scott throws chairs out of the ring and threatens the Taylor Made Man as Booker walks out.
- Booker says he has talked to Eric Bischoff, so shut up and listen.
- We hear a "live" message from the Bisch himself, with the audio quality of an 8-track player.
- Bischoff talks about how he's been trying to purchase WCW with a group of investors.
- Bischoff alludes to the "last night of wrestling on the Turner networks."
- Bischoff says that next Nitro at Panama City will have all the championship belts up for grabs.
- Bischoff says that Booker T. will face Scott Steiner in a title versus title match!
- Bischoff extends an invitation to any and every former champion of WCW (read: Goldberg, Sting, etc.) and tells them not to be afraid to bring their boots with them.
- Bischoff then thanks Ric Flair for what he has done for wrestling despite their rocky relationship.
- However, Bischoff suggests to Ric that it's in his best interests to kiss Dusty Rhodes' ass.
- Ric gets livid, in case you couldn't guess.
- Bischoff closes by saying he will see us all at the "Night of Champions."
- Scott Steiner signs the title vs. title contract without reading and implores Booker to do the same.
- Scott sucker punches Booker as he goes to sign.
- Booker fights back, but Scott gets a hit to the knee with a lead pipe.
- Security runs in en masse and get routed.
- Ric brings Booker back into the ring and holds him in the corner.
- Booker breaks free and wallops on Scott, hitting the axe kick in the process!
- Booker grabs the lead pipe as Steiner and Flair flee.
- Scott calls Booker a "son of a bitch."
- Booker grabs the contract, signs it and gives it to Terry Taylor.
- Booker says he'll have both belts after next week and runs through his catchphrase.
- Pretty effective segment. I like this title versus title as a "final" blowoff. I just hope that the right man goes over. (Booker)
- Kanyon gets new music on his entrance.
- We see clips detailing Kanyon's issues with M. I. Smooth.
- Said Smooth rushes the ring with actual wrestling gear.
- Kanyon gets the opening salvos in.
- Smooth powers out and gets a powerslam off the ropes.
- Smooth clotheslines Kanyon out of the ring.
- Big chop by Smooth.
- Smooth brings Kanyon back inside.
- Kanyon tries to bail, but Smooth grabs him.
- Mule kick to the nads.
- Cross-corner whip, but Smooth counters and splashes his opponent.
- Headbutt and a corner whip, but Smooth eats boot.
- Russian legsweep by Kanyon gets two.
- Kanyon whips Smooth into a back bodydrop.
- Kanyon drops a series of elbows.
- Kanyon with a wishbone legdrop for two.
- Kanyon hits a suplex and slooooooowly heads to the apron.
- I hate to say this, but Kanyon does NOT look enthused at all about being in this match.
- Kanyon with a slingshot elbowdrop for two.
- Kanyon whips Smooth and ducks his head, allowing Smooth to drive him to the mat.
- Smooth blocks a punch and decks Kanyon in one punch.
- And again.
- Smooth blows an atomic drop off the ropes.
- Smooth with a running clothesline.
- Smooth with a nice powerbomb.
- Smooth with a standing splash and he covers.
- Kanyon then does the laziest kick out in the history of kick outs.
- Did Kanyon take the Buff Bagwell course in phoning in matches recently?
- Smooth whips Kanyon to the corner but hits post on the charge.
- Kanyon goes outside and grabs a chair.
- Animal runs in from nowhere and lays out Smooth with a DDT.
- Kanyon runs in and gets the three-count as The Cat lays out Animal in the aisle.
- YOUR WINNER: Chris Kanyon via pinfall in 5:10.
- Post-match, The Cat lays waste in Kanyon in the corner, then Animal in the other corner.
- The heels flee the ring and Smooth gets to one knee.
- Cat says Animal doesn't look the same as when he kisses Ric Flair's ass.
- Cat challenges Kanyon and Animal to a tag match on Thunder.
- I know I said I wouldn't harp on the wrestling, but I was EMBARRASSED to watch this match and see Kanyon so obviously mail his effort in. Yes, his feud with M. I. Smooth sucks on paper, but it takes effort from both participants to make it work, and Kanyon certainly did not hold up his end tonight.
- A titleless (YES!) Rick Steiner makes his way out.
- He'll be facing (squashing?) Konnan tonight.
- Rick starts off with a go-behind into a BEAUTIFUL takedown followed by a body scissors.
- Oh, who am I kidding? Rick does the usual punching, kicking and chinlocking.
- Konnan's first bit of offense comes on a blocked charge in the corner, but the selfish prick known as Rick Steiner refuses to give him any more.
- Rick gets in a German suplex that was sloppier than a grandmother's kiss.
- Konnan then blows his rolling clothesline in response.
- Konnan's facebuster connects, though.
- Dueling clotheslines off the ropes, which Steiner wins.
- Overhead suplex off the ropes gets two for Steiner.
- More punching by Rick.
- Rick actually does an armbar, and Konnan sells by acting like he's falling asleep.
- As Rick brings Konnan to a vertical base, Konnan is seen obviously calling spots.
- This is hysterically funny, in all the wrong ways.
- Konnan whips Steiner to the ropes, but gets met with a back bodydrop.
- Shane Douglas rushes the ring in street clothes and breaks up the pin for the DQ.
- YOUR WINNER: Rick Steiner via DQ in 5:06.
- Post-match, Steiner refuses to sell the cast shot and pounds on Steiner some more.
- Hugh Morrus makes the save and sends Steiner out of the ring with some clotheslines.
- The sad thing is that the guys doing the run-ins put forth a better effort that the guys wrestling the match. Easily the worst match on Nitro in months, with Rick refusing to show workrate or sell anything and Chucky matching Steiner's sorry-assed pace by blowing moves and calling spots in full view of the camera.
- Team Canada heads to the ring and Lance Storm cuts his usual promo, but gets cut off at "All rise."
- The tag champs make their way out.
- They show clips of the champs taking out Totally Buffed at the PPV. Cubs Fan relayed an interesting note to me through AOL IM about this match. Supposedly, Totally Buffed got pissy earlier in the day about the booking and when the match took place, they told the champs to pin them in under a minute. Luger and Buff then proceeded to make a mockery of the champs by lying around in the ring and mockingly selling their opponents' offense.
- Palumbo and Storm start as the announcers (rightfully) bury Totally Buffed.
- Storm with a waistlock, but Palumbo gets his own.
- Palumbo turns it into a headlock, and Storm counters with his.
- Storm floats over Palumbo but gets smacked with some rights.
- Palumbo whips Storm to the ropes, leapfrogs over him and hits a nice dropkick!
- Palumbo tags O' Haire, and Storm tags in response.
- Awesome stalls a bit but eventually gets back in.
- Awesome headlocks O'Haire, goes to the ropes and runs into a jab to the stomach.
- O'Haire with a kneelift.
- O'Haire whips Awesome to the corner but runs into a boot.
- O'Haire comes back with a NICE jumping roundhouse for two.
- Awesome dumps O'Haire from the ring, and Storm sends him to the stairs.
- Awesome pounds on O'Haire as he re-enters the ring.
- Storm gets tagged and we get a doubleteam forearm shot.
- Storm with some rights.
- O'Haire fights back but Awesome gets a cheap shot from behind.
- Palumbo makes the rookie mistake of coming in, allowing a suplex by Storm.
- Tag to Awesome, who gets a slingshot bodypress for two.
- O'Haire fights back again, but Awesome headbutts him low.
- Tag to Storm.
- O'Haire fights back again, and Storm counters with a jawbreaker.
- Tag to Awesome.
- Awesome with a flying clothesline from top.
- Another O'Haire comeback, but Storm gets in a flying double axehandle from behind.
- Chuck Palumbo runs in again, and Team Canada doubleteams O'Haire as Nick Patrick admonishes the illegal man.
- Storm with some kneelifts in the corner.
- O'Haire fights back and gets whipped to the ropes.
- Storm tries a leapfrog, but O'Haire counters with a fireman's carry into an inverted DVD!
- Tag to Palumbo, who's a Jungle of Fire.
- Fall away slam on Storm.
- Palumbo beats on Awesome, allowing Storm to come in from behind.
- Storm whips Palumbo and tries a headscissors, but it's countered into a powerbomb.
- Palumbo goes up top and hits a shoulderblock, but everyone runs in.
- All four in opposite corners, Awesome whips O'Haire as Palumbo whips Storm.
- O'Haire clotheslines Storm, followed by Palumbo giving Awesome the Jungle Kick in an AWESOME spot.
- O'Haire quickly goes up top, but Storm trips him, sending O'Haire face first to the apron.
- Palumbo reverses a whip into a DDT.
- Storm brings a chair, but Palumbo Jungle Kicks it into Storm's face.
- As Nick Patrick removes the chair from the ring, Awesome sneaks up from behind and hits Palumbo with a second chair.
- Running Awesomebomb ends it as Storm keeps O'Haire from making the save.
- YOUR WINNERS: Team Canada via Awesomebomb in 8:03.
- Really good tag match there. I wish WCW did more house shows so Palumbo and O'Haire could have worked with Team Canada more often.
- We see clips from Greed where the Rhodes clan defeated Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett.
- Ric Flair walks out.
- The heels shake hands in the ring.
- Ric says he's a man of his word and will make the right decision on behalf of the company.
- Ric calls Dusty Rhodes out.
- Dustin comes out first.
- Ric tells Dustin to get out of the way.
- Dustin says he wouldn't miss this for the world.
- Dustin introduces his daddy.
- Random note: One of the guys receiving the Bionic Elbow in Dusty's entrance video is Tully Blanchard.
- Dusty comes out from the side with... a donkey.
- Said donkey has "Dusty's Ass" written on it.
- Dusty says that Ric was gonna kiss his big white ass.
- Dusty points out his "ass" and tells Ric to kiss it.
- Dusty says "Ol' Silver Dollar" ate about 300 burritos before this.
- Well, they're going all out with this, I'll give WCW that.
- Dustin Rhodes walks on the apron as Ric tells Jarrett to kiss the ass.
- Jarrett refuses.
- Ric talks about making the right decision and tells Jarrett to do the deed.
- There's friction amongst the heels for obvious reasons... or is there?
- Ric pushes Jarrett into the ropes. Jarrett, in turn, gives Dustin a Diamond Cutter on the top rope.
- Dustin ends up rolling into the ring and a two-on-one beatdown.
- Here comes Big Dust.
- Dust elbows the hell out of the heels until a low-blow turns the tide.
- They go outside, and Dusty gets sent to the rail.
- They go to the donkey, and the heels get set to run Dusty into the ass, but Dustin makes the save.
- The faces force Ric and Jarrett to "kiss the ass," but really their lips were a good foot or so from the anus. But, that's semantics.
- Ric sells the kiss MAGNIFICENTLY, stopping to swing wildly as a fan while twitching and flipping all the while.
- The Rhodes stand triumphant on the entryway as we fade.
- That certainly was... different.
Despite some not-so-good wrestling tonight, I'm going Thumbs Up for good storytelling, booking for next week's show and having the balls to do the "Kiss My Ass" angle in front of a national audience. Was kissing a donkey's ass silly and insipid? It sure was. But, hey, that's WCW's way of saying "If we're gonna go down, we're doing it OUR way" and for that reason I can accept it.
See you next week for the "Season Finale!"