WCW Sin - Sunday, January 14, 2001

• As I am sure you all know by now Uncle Eric will be back at the helm of the S.S. WCW Titanic very soon. Unable to express this in my own words, I turned to the DDT Digest staff for their thoughts on this matter. I asked them all for the first thing that came to mind when they heard Bischoff was back.
  • Mike I - "Sucking head wound"
  • James - "Old folks home"
  • Big Mike - "nWo lives again"
  • Mel - "Ouch. Ouch. Ouch."
  • Jarod - "No more Hogan!"
  • Xavier Doom - "We're screwed now"
  • Aldo - "Please be different"
  • Bill - "Bite me, Bischoff"
  • And myself? I was going to say "cautiously optimistic" but I think I will switch to the actual first words I uttered when I heard he was back "Son of a pig****er!"

• A few weeks ago I went on a pilgrimage to Atlanta to find out exactly why the fine folks at WCW have made some of the crazy decisions they seem to make. While I was unable to film the incident (no pictures please!) I did bring along a cartoonist to capture the moment on...umm paper for historical reasons. Imagine my surprise when we discovered the reason for everything that has gone wrong with WCW since they started losing the ratings war. The following is a hand drawn rendition of what happened. No cartoonists or WCW employees were hurt in the making of this cartoon.

  
  

  

• I would like to thank the fine folks at Penny Arcade for allowing me to borrow the above comic and modify it. Its not wrestling related but if you play a lot of computer games like I do, this is the site to get your laugh back on every other day of the week. Tycho and Gabe totally rule.
  • As a side note Gabe asked me why I was doing this and I explained the whole "Giving of the world title to a two-bit cheesy actor" and even he thought that sucked.
  • If you ever find anyone who thinks that whole angle was a good idea, drive them out into a swamp filled with alligators and drop them off in the middle of the night. You'll be doing the world a favor.

• One last thing before we get started with the actually report. My wife recently went on a business trip to California. She was gone for 5 days during which I had much of that time off. The day before she came back I woke up in a lot of pain. I took a hot shower and stepped out to find myself staring at a fist sized bruise on the inside of my thigh and the pain I am feeling is a pulled groin muscle. I am completely innocent of doing anything at all, the wife however is not buying it in the slightest. If you can think of a reason this would happen to someone please Let me know.
  • And no, sleepwalking is not an excuse she will buy.

• We are live from the Conseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana
  • DDT Digest - We watch this crap so you don't have to!
  • Tony and Scott are your announcers..looks like a two man team from now on which is good. But that means Hudson has to turn heel soon.

• I don't want to actually relive the horror that is the pre-show but I will say this. Gene seemed drunk and the Funk promo was mostly mumbling. He referred to Crowbar and Meng as "that idiot and that other guy". I think Funk really couldn't remember who he was wrestling.

• Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Shane Helms for the Cruiserweight title
  • Backstage Helms tells Moore that he wants to do this on his own.
  • 3 Count's music gives me hives.
  • I will call at least 3 blown spots by Helms.
    • At least we don't have to listen to Madden call him HB2K anymore.
  • Cheat To Win brings out Chavito.
    • Now that's a good theme song.
  • Chavo talks trash but the crowd boos Helms.
  • Lock up with a series of reversals.
  • Helms with an armbar but Chavo gets under the ropes.
  • More mat wrestling from the two cruiserweights and Chavo has to get under the ropes again to break another hold.
  • Chavo with a low kick and a couple of nice looking chops on Helms.
  • Hudson compares Helms to Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.
    • Don't put any pressure on the kid or anything sheesh.
    • Next week Helms with be the Herald of the Rapture or something.
  • Helms with a headscissors takeover.
  • Wow! Helms gets Chavo in a fireman's carry, spins him around like he is gonna give him a Diamond Cutter, but drops Chavo's face on his knee instead.
    • That looked pretty wicked. Tony referred to it as "What a move" I believe.
  • Chavo clotheslines Helms over the rope and outside Helms counter by whipping Chavo into the rail.
  • Back in the ring we have an Irish whip and Helms rolls Chavo up for a 2 count.
  • Helms blows another roll up spot but still gets a 2 count.
  • Chavo reverses a piledriver attempt into a powerbomb.
  • Chavo hits the standard "Knee to the groin" and only gets a one count, he throws Helms over the top rope.
  • Chavo wastes some time, rolls him back into the ring and gets a 2 count.
  • Chavo with a good looking dropkick and another 2 count.
  • Chavo hits the resthold of death.
  • Helms fights his way out and hits an atomic drop followed by a sweet looking reverse neckbreaker.
  • Running theme for the night..the ref starts the mandatory ten count.
  • Helms covers but Chavo kicks out, Helms then gets a German suplex into a bridge but only gets a 2.
    • The crowd is really into this match.
  • Helms with a superkick but Chavo gets his foot on the ropes at 2.
  • Chavo dumps Helms over the top rope from the corner and goes up top and kinda jumps down on him.
    • He looked like a flying squirrel.
  • Back in the ring Chavo gets a 2 count and he begins to get angry.
  • Helms hip tosses Chavo over the top rope and goes up top and hits a nice looking cross body.
  • Back in the ring Helms hits a sunset flip and gets a 2 count.
  • Samoan drop gets him another 2 count.
  • Helms calls for the Vertabreaker but Chavo counters. He ends up giving him a Nightmare on Helms Street.
  • Chavo kicks out at two and takes Helms to the corner to try for a Tornado DDT.
  • Helms blocks and Chavo counters with a brainbuster for the pinfall.
  • Your winner in 11:17 via pinfall with a brainbuster, Chavo Guerrero Jr.

• Earlier Today - Tenay tracks down Ric Flair
  • Flair steps out of a white Limo.
  • He will not reveal the mystery man until the time comes.
  • Keep this Quote in mind "The mystery man will rock Scott Steiner's world"
  • Flair blows Tenay off and leaves him standing there.

• Vito and Johnny the Bull with Mean Gene
  • Vito mumbles a lot and says nothing earth shattering.
  • *yawn*

• Big Vito vs Reno
  • Big Vito brings a big stick to the ring.
  • Reno comes out showing off his tongue.
  • In the ring they stand nose to nose and talk some trash.
  • They are brothers? When did this get written into the storyline.
  • Slugfest to star, Reno hits a powerslam and a knee drop and gets a quick 2 count.
  • Reno kicks Vito to the outside of the ring.
  • Vito with some chops but Reno whips him into the rail and the steps.
  • Back in the ring, Reno beats on Vito in the corner and Vito comes charging out with a clothesline.
  • Vito puts Reno on the top of the corner and goes up top, Superplex and a 2 count.
  • Vito hits the ugliest Enziguri I have ever seen.
    • If you can't do a move, don't do it at all.
  • Vito plays to the crowd a little bit, he charges Reno in the corner but goes shoulder first into the post.
  • My wife thinks Reno's tights are made of crushed velvet.
    • If they are, that's pretty fruity of him.
  • Random brawling outside the ring.
  • Hudson talks about how they fought all the time as kids "At least they are getting paid for this"
  • Reno with a weak clothesline and they blow a spot.
    • WTF? The move they blew was an Irish whip! How do you blow that spot?
  • Vito with a sunset flip that gets him a 2 count.
  • Reno comes back with a clothesline, a knee drop and his own 2 count.
  • Vito gives him a superkick and both men are down.
    • Ref starts the mandatory ten count and the crowd counts along.
    • They must be starved for action.
  • Vito hits a double underhook release suplex.
    • Say that 5 times real fast.
  • Vito with a top rope elbow drop and he gets 2.
  • Vito hits the "Vito Special" whatever the hell that is but doesn't get the pin.
  • Reno with the standard "foot in the groin" maneuver to regain control.
  • Double thrustkick into the chest and Reno gets a 2 count.
  • Reno calls for the Roll of the Dice but Vito reverses it into a suplex and gets a 2 count.
  • Reno hits a T-bone suplex.
  • Vito tries a suplex but Reno reverses and hits the Roll of the Dice.
  • Your winner in 8:42 via pinfall with a Roll of the Dice, Reno

• Sanders is in the back with Brian Adams.
  • Adams threatens to slap the taste out of his mouth.
  • Sanders has a payoff for him and then leaves.
  • Clark shows up with a bigger wad of cash.
  • Looks like someone else outbid Sanders.

• Jung Dragons w/Leia Meow vs Jamie Knoble and Evan Karagias
  • Evan vs Kaz to start off.
  • I should mention this is an unscheduled bonus match.
  • They trade some chops and a bunch of fast moving Irish whips and leaps.
    • Well my chances of keeping up with this are roughly that of a snowball in hell.
  • Kaz hits a nice overhead release German suplex.
  • Knoble in and Kaz dumps him with a headscissors takeover.
  • Dragons hit synchronized dropkicks on Knoble and Karagias sending them both out to the floor.
  • The follow this up with stereo springboard moonsaults.
  • Close-up of Leia Meow looking concerned.
    • Yummy!
  • Yang hits a nasty clothesline on Knoble.
  • Knoble uses a body scissors to toss Yang out of the ring.
  • Kaz up top but Knoble hits the ropes and crotches him.
  • Kaz counters the superplex and throws Evan to the mat.
  • Kaz going for some flying maneuver (for lack of a better word) and Evan catches him coming down with a dropkick.
  • Evan charges but Kaz gives him a drop toehold sending his head into the middle buckle.
    • You would almost think these guys are auditioning for a job, they are working their asses off.
  • Evan holds Kaz in the backbreaker position and Knoble hit him with a guillotine leg drop.
  • Evan with a cover and a 2 count but Yang makes the save.
  • Evan misses a corner charge but hits Kaz with a falling front slam, he only gets a 2 count.
  • Tag to Knoble, Evan with a drop toehold on Kaz and Knoble dropkicks him in the head for a 2 count.
  • Knoble with a flying elbow and a two count.
  • Kaz takes a pounding in the enemy corner.
  • Evan picks up Kaz in a gorilla press and drops him into a spinebuster but only gets 2.
    • Looked like he was holding him up by the nuts.
  • Blown spot alert as Evan screws up a Lionsault.
  • Knoble cuts off Kaz from making the hot tag.
  • Kaz reverses a whip and NAILS Knoble in the head with a stiff kick.
    • I think I saw his brain fly out of his ear.
  • Hey the ref is doing that mandatory ten count thing again.
    • The crowd is digging it.
  • Kaz makes the hot tag and Yang is house o' fire!
  • Dragon screw leg whip on Knoble and he falls clutching his knee.
  • Yang whips Evan into the corner and pulls a Matrix-like maneuver by running up his body into a backflip.
  • Nothing like 10 punches to the head to get the crowd into the match.
  • Yang shows off by backflipping away from Evan and Knoble catches him with a German Suplex into a bridge and Kaz saves at 2.
  • Evan dropkicks Kaz out of the ring and then hits him with a springboard crossbody.
  • Knoble sits Yang on the top rope and goes for a Frankensteiner but Yang blocks it and turns it into a powerbomb.
  • Evan saves the match and gives Yang a Hangman's Noose neckbreaker.
  • Evan goes up top and does a little dance for the ladies before hitting a Firebird splash.
    • Looked impressive I must say.
  • Kaz saves the pin, Knoble ends up hitting him with a sweet piledriver and Yang makes the save on that count.
  • Blown spot alert as Yang doesn't even come close with a twisting moonsault, Knoble never moved.
  • Yang rolls Knoble up for the pin.
  • Your winners in 9:27, via Roll-up, the Jung Dragons.
  • Post match, Knoble and Karagias beat down on the Jung Dragons.
  • Leia never even came close to getting involved.

• In the lot, a car that looks a lot like a purple version of ZZ Top's Eliminator car pulls up.
  • Joy of joys, it's Totally Buff (Bagwell and Luger).
  • They stroke each other's egos a bit.
  • They talking about kicking Sarge's ass.
  • They mention getting Goldberg fired.
  • Tony "How atrocious is that?"
    • Thankfully the camera cuts away before they start stroking more than each other's egos.

• Mike Sanders vs "The Cat" Ernest Miller w/Ms. Jones.
  • Whoever wins the match is not only the commish but gets Ms. Jones as well.
  • Sanders comes out to a nice chorus of boos.
  • Sanders has a mic and basically cuts a promo on what Miller is going to say when he comes out to the ring.
  • Sanders hit the catchphrase of extremely cheap heel heat on the crowd.
  • He calls out the Cat and the crowd goes mild.
  • While Sanders acts like a cowardly heel, Miller cuts a promo exactly like Sanders said he would.
  • Some dancing in the ring.
    • Ms. Jones has a nice pink boob tube, matches them thigh high boots she has nicely.
    • I think the Cat just said he would be the People's Commissioner.
    • Time for someone to call his Momma I guess.
  • Sanders plays up to the crowd and gets booed, Miller does it and gets cheers.
    • I think they mention this is his hometown.
  • Sanders tries again and gets booed, Miller does it again and gets cheers so Sanders attacks him from behind.
  • Lots of punches and chokeholds by Sanders.
  • The announcers speculate who paid Kronik off.
  • Miller with a shoulderblock and several punches to the head.
    • Benoit vs Regal this ain't.
    • Speaking of Regal, He got his act together and he got a win over Austin, glad to see him back.
    • He has the best facial expressions in the business
  • Sanders back to choking and I think I see Miller "hulking" out of it.
  • Sanders with an eye rake and more choking.
  • Miller with a series of Karate kicks.
  • Miller climbs up and gives Sanders ten punches to the head. He then gives him some crotch chops but Sanders comes back with a ballshot that sends Miller down.
  • Sanders with a nice loud kick to the chest and he gets a two count.
  • Sanders with a Cobra Clutch????????? into a pin but only gets a 2.
    • WTF? Who still uses this move?
  • Miller "Hulks up" again and whip into the ropes and Sanders tries a sunset flip but Miller gives him some more crotch chops and a big chop to the head.
  • Miller with some dancing moves.
  • Sanders steals from the best and begs off.
  • Sanders pulls Miller outside the ring and goes for a chair, Ms. Jones grabs the chair and has a tug of war with Sanders over it.
  • Jones ends up kicking Sanders and chasing him around the ring with a chair.
    • Dude, you're running from a girl.
  • He runs into the ring and she is trying to get him with the chair which distracts the ref, here comes Jindrak and Stasiak to attack Miller.
  • Kronik comes down and wipes out the Thrillers, security comes down to clean it up and Clark gets in the ring.
  • Clark takes down Sanders and stuffs a wad of hundred dollar bills into his mouth.
  • Miller with a 360 spin kick and the pin for the win.
  • Your winner in 5:50 via pinfall by spin kick "The Cat" Ernest Miller
  • Post match we get a James Brown impersonation in the ring.

• Flair and Goldberg watch a tape of Totally Buff's arrival.
  • Goldberg "Wait till I get my hands on those guys".
  • Flair makes the match no-DQ.
  • In a touching moment they shake hands and hug.
    • This fruity moment brought to you by WCW "This is our last new era of the millennium, we swear on it!"
  • Some geeky fan wants an autograph and a pose with a picture.
    • Hmmmmm, Flair led him over there.
    • I wait for the traditional "face is being nice to fan while heel sneaks up behind attack" but it never comes.

• Mean Gene with Jeff Jarrett.
  • Gene asks him how far he will go to capture the gold.
  • Jarrett calls Gene a Jurassic Slapnut.
  • Jarrett denies rumors he is going to turn on Steiner.
  • Jarrett threatens Gene with the guitar and says Steiner can trust him.
  • "Choke on that".

• Filthy Animals vs Team Canada w/Hacksaw Jim Duggan as the special guest referee in a penalty box match
  • Hacksaw comes to the ring and gets a nice "USA" chant going.
  • Storm, Awesome, Skipper and Gunns arrive in the Team Canada bus.
  • Storm hits the ring and wants us to be serious for a moment.
    • I make faces at my TV, I don't like being told what to do.
  • The Canadian national anthem plays for a bit before getting cut off by Filthy Animals music.
  • Here comes Konnan, Kidman, Rey Jr. and Tygress.
    • Konnan looks like a freak with these weird ass sunglasses he is wearing.
  • Hacksaw says he will call it down the middle. Anyone breaks a rule and they get sent to the penalty box for one minute.
  • Rey and Lance start off and Rey hits a head scissors take over.
  • Storm crotches Rey on the top rope and for no visible reason Skipper comes in to double team.
  • Skipper goes to the box, Awesome accidentally bumps into Hacksaw and gets sent to the box with him, 3-on-1 now.
  • Kidman with a slingshot legdrop on Storm.
  • Konnan in and he powerbombs Rey onto Storm.
  • Konnan with an avalanche clothesline in the corner.
  • Rey hits a top rope splash.
    • Lots of tagging in and out, hard to keep up with.
  • Kidman with a headscissors takeover and Storm reverses and gives him a leg drop.
  • The rest of team Canada is free and Skipper is tagged in.
  • Kidman comes back with a sideslam.
  • Awesome goes back into the box for interfering and Storm joins him right away.
  • Konnan in with his rolling clothesline.
  • Konnan makes up a weird-ass submission hold on the spot and puts in on Skipper.
  • Rey hits a springboard legdrop.
  • Skipper comes back with a good looking dropkick but Konnan gets back in and hits a reverse DDT and a 2 count.
  • Skipper with a drop toehold and the saddest looking missile dropkick off all time.
  • The boys are back from the penalty box and Awesome gets tagged in.
  • Awesome with a backbreaker and a 2 count.
  • Catfight on the outside and the camera almost misses Kidman giving Awesome a baseball slide into the family jewels in the corner.
  • Hacksaw sends Kidman and Rey to the penalty box for some infraction I missed.
  • Tygress grabs a water bottle and hoses down Gunns.
  • Duggan grabs Gunns and gets a handful (literally) and put her in the Canada box.
  • Tygress goes into the Animals box and poor Konnan is left alone.
  • Skipper and Konnan in the ring so of course the crowd starts chanting U.S.A.!
  • Awesome in with a top rope clothesline.
  • Animals free from the box and looking for a tag.
  • Konnan goes for the mule kick but pulls up his pants first. Then he hits a facebuster.
    • Too many clever references to hockey during this match. Instead of getting a pin when someone is in the penalty box and the other team has a "powerplay" they are trying to score a goal.
  • Konnan tags Kidman who hits a spinning elbow from the top rope.
  • Kidman is a house 'o fire.
  • Kidman powerbombs Storm and gets a two count, Storm comes back with a jawbreaker.
  • Everyone goes to the floor and it's a massive trainwreck.
  • Duggan catches Awesome trying to cut Kidman's hair with a pair of scissors and into the box he goes.
  • Now Skipper goes to the box and in the ring Rey gives Storm a Bronco Buster.
  • Tygress follows up with her own Bronco Buster but she comes nowhere near his face with it.
  • For some reason I missed, Konnan is in the penalty box.
  • Kidman hits a Kidcrusher on Storm but Awesome saves at 2.
  • Rey becomes the victim of a running Awesome Bomb and Storm slaps the Maple Leaf on Kidman.
  • Kidman eventually taps and Duggan calls for the bell.
  • Your winner in 13:09 via submission by Maple Leaf, Team Canada
  
  

  
  

• In the back Tenay is taunting Sanders about losing to the cat.
  • Sanders threatens Kronik and the Cat.
  • Palumbo and O'Haire vs the Insiders tonight.
  • O'Haire says people think he should be in jail.
    • For what crappy wrestling? Crappy promos? Someone tell me why he should be in jail.
  • We see the Insiders stretching in their dressing room and you can almost smell the Ben-Gay and hear the joints popping and cracking.

• Meng vs Terry Funk vs Crowbar in a Hardcore Title Match
  • We get an extended recap of events leading to the hardcore match.
  • Meng comes to the ring accompanied by his massive afro carrying the title belt.
    • I like Meng. Shut up and leave me alone.
  • Here comes Funk...slowly making his way down to the ring.
  • He grabs Daphne by the pigtails and starts pulling her around.
  • Crowbar attacks Funk with a chair.
  • Crowbar takes Funk into the back and Daphne does her traditional screaming.
  • They head into a bathroom where some mop buckets and a Rubbermaid© trashcan come into play.
  • Here comes Meng and he puts a rubber trash can over Funk's head and pounds on the trashcan a bit.
  • Crowbar and Meng are brawling and Funk throws a metal trashcan and beans Meng in the head.
    • Ouch.
  • They take turns slamming each others' heads into a metal door. Funk throws some of his wild punches beating the hell out of some unlucky air molecules.
  • A bunch of tables are leaning against the wall, Funk and Crowbar toss them on Meng.
  • Crowbar covers but Funk blasts him with a chair.
  • Crowbar blasts Funk with a fire extinguisher, throws a chair at him and then hits him with a laptop computer.
    • Waste of a good laptop...maybe.
  • Crowbar lays Funk on a table and climbs into the first row of the arena.
  • As Crowbar drops some kind of move on Funk the camera cuts to a nice shot in the ring of some guy's elbow.
    • Way to f*** up WCW, refer to the above comic strip.
  • Meng with a lowblow and a mafia kick on Crowbar but Funk breaks up the pin.
  • Funk with some weak looking snow shovel shots to Meng.
  • He takes an extra piece of safety rail and props it up against the regular safety rail and flips Crowbar onto it and it promptly folds cleanly in half.
    • Look close enough and you can see where they sawed it.
  • Daphne hasn't screamed in a bit, maybe she lost her voi...nevermind, there she goes.
  • They eventually did show the Crowbar legdrop on Terry Funk that they screwed up by showing an elbow instead.
  • In the ring, Crowbar Pillmanizes Funk's knee
  • Meng comes in and pounds on Crowbar which he no sells, blowing the spot.
  • He puts Funk in a figure-four and Meng! goes up top and hits a splash! on Crowbar.
  • Funk is busted open and Meng hits a piledriver on Crowbar.
  • Funk makes the save and Meng slams him. He then goes to the second rope and hits a froggie splash Guerrero style.
  • Crowbar saves the count with a chair.
  • Crowbar and Funk beat the hell out of Meng with a couple of chairs.
  • Funk with a DDT and Crowbar made a weak effort for a save so it looked poor when the ref stopped counting.
  • Crowbar chairs Funk while he is holding Meng. Meng then puts the Tongan death grip on Funk.
  • Your winner and new Hardcore champion in 11:35 via pinfall by Tongan death grip, Meng

• Flair congratulates the Cat and Ms. Jones on the win.
  • Flair offers a night off with a limo, caviar and champagne.
  • Miller wants collard greens and some neckbones instead.
    • Whatever.

• Gene interviews Sid Vicious
  • Sid is in Psycho mode.
  • I keep waiting for him to announce he is "The Master and Ruler of Squirrels"
  • Sid says "Hell" but I think it got silenced.
    • I am paying 30 bucks for this PPV and I don't get to hear the word "Hell"? Whatever.

• The Insiders vs The Natural Born Thrillers for the World Tag Team Championship.
  • Here comes Palumbo and O'Haire and there goes my dinner.
  • DDP comes out by himself, stops halfway and does the Scott Hall fingerpoint to bring out "Big Lazy" Kevin Nash.
  • NTB music plays again and here comes the rest of the gang.
  • Sanders has the stick and says he has the right to make substitutions at any time during the match.
  • Flair comes out now. No, he doesn't. He ain't the commish, anymore.
  • Flair threatens fines and suspensions and everyone extra leaves the ring area.
  • DDP and Palumbo start off, they spit on each other and it's on like a neckbone.
  • DDP with a clothesline and a rock bottom for a 2 count.
  • DDP takes both himself and Palumbo over the top rope with a clothesline and then throws him back in the ring.
  • Palumbo bails to pull the massive wedgie that has formed out of his ass.
  • For some reason the announcers call attention to Nash's laziness by pointing out DDP is doing all the work. DDP then tags Nash right away and Palumbo tags O'Haire.
  • Nash with a bodyslam but O'Haire takes back control and goes straight to a rest hold.
    • Nash is blown up already? He only did one move!
  • Nash with a big boot and we have seen ¹/₃ of his moveset.
  • Nash with some kneelifts in the corner.
    • He is quickly running through his vast repertoire of moves...this must be a quick match.
  • O'Haire climbs the turnbuckle and does a backflip over Nash and catches him with a superkick when he turns around.
    • OK, that looked impressive.
  • Tag to Palumbo and they both beat on Nash for a minute.
    • Tony calls the punches "stiff".
  • Nash gets Palumbo on his shoulder and pulls out a snake eyes.
  • Tag to DDP who comes in with a top rope clothesline and gets a 2 count.
  • The veteran WCW camera crew missed the move that lays DDP out in the ring.
  • O'Haire and Palumbo give DDP and double slingshot suplex.
  • 2 count and DDP kicks out of a cover so lazy from Palumbo I think I saw a tear come to Nash's eye.
  • Palumbo does some showboating and DDP almost makes the tag.
  • I think Chuckie is stuffing socks in them shorts.
  • They taunt Nash by keeping Page from making the tag, Nash seems to be getting angry.
    • Rage building...anger rising....
  • Lots of D-teaming DDP in the enemy corner while Nash stands there and watches.
  • Palumbo goes for a piledriver but DDP reverses and gets his own and both men are down.
  • Hey that damn ref is doing that mandatory ten count thing again...and the crowd is counting along with him.
    • They should have ended the match this way.
  • DDP makes the tag and Nash comes in house o' fire.
  • Nash pulls the strap down, you can tell he has his working boots on now!
  • Palumbo calls for a time out.
    • If I were a heel I would do that all the time, I think its one of the funniest things a heel can do but nobody does it anymore.
  • Nash gives Palumbo a powerbomb but that sneaky Lex Luger is at ringside up to no good I am sure.
  • DDP and Luger fight into the crowd, the other Thrillers come down but get stopped by that crack WCW security force.
  • Nash going for a powerbomb on O'Haire and Bagwell runs in with a crappy disguise and hits him with a wrench.
  • One Shawn-ton bomb later and we have new champs.
  • Your winners and new World Tag Team Champions via pinfall by Shawn-ton bomb Chuck Palumbo and Shawn O'Haire.
  • Post match, DDP gives a weak chairshot to clear the ring.

• In the back the Thrillers brag about beating up a couple of old guys.
  • "We turned the Insiders out!"
  • O'Haire tries to say something but that weasel Tenay cuts him off mid-sentence.

• Ric Flair gets into the limo.
  • Flair says it's showtime.
  • Could this be a clue the mystery man is Sting?

• Hugh Morrus vs Shane Douglas in a First Blood Chain Above The Ring Match.
  • Douglas has a mic and blathers on about Torrie without saying her name.
  • Douglas says the U.S. title is a stepping stone to Steiner.
  • He calls out Morrus "Come out her and get your ass French Fries"
    • Maybe he said "Franchised"
  • Morrus has the ref check Douglas and he ends up pulling a chain out of Douglas's tights.
    • That was an extremely homoerotic moment.
  • Generic brawling and a game of Uncle ensues.
  • Morrus his a rest hold less than a minute into the match. The dreaded armbar.
  • Even the announcers bring up using a resthold in a First Blood Match.
  • The crowd chants something I can't make out and Douglas tells them to shut up.
  • Morrus picks Douglas up by his arm and slams him down.
  • Morrus pounds on Douglas trying to figure out how to get the chain down.
  • Douglas resorts to Three Stooges tactics and goes for the Moe eye poke.
    • Just once I wanna see someone block that with the proper Curly counter.
  • Douglas with some punches and Morrus pulls a Hogan and no sells them.
  • Morrus with some loud chops.
    • Whooooo!
  • Douglas kicks the General in the privates from behind.
  • Morrus hits a top rope clothesline.
  • Morrus goes up top for the No Laughing Matter but Douglas hits the top rope crotching him.
  • Douglas with a kneebreaker and then stops to give the crowd a golf clap.
  • Douglas with the bend the knee around the rope spot and then into a figure four leglock.
    • This is a First BLOOD Match right? Hello?
  • They get to brawling outside and Morrus goes into the crowd the hard way.
  • Douglas with the underused "tear at his forehead tactic".
  • Morrus comes back and slams Douglas headfirst into the rail. He climbs the rail to do something and Douglas kicks his leg sending him balls first onto the steel rail.
  • Douglas ties his legs around the ringpost into a figure four position and puts some pressure on by leaning into it.
  • Back in the ring Morrus fights out of a rear chinlock and gives Douglas a gorilla press slam.
  • Morrus outside and he finds a ladder under the ring.
    • Never, ever, ever be the first person to try the ladder..it never works.
  • Morrus gets the chain and Douglas shoves the ladder over taking out the ref.
  • Douglas pulls a chain out of his boot and nails Morrus, he throws the extra chain and takes the one Hugh has.
  • Douglas wakes the ref and Morrus is busted open.
  • Your winner and new US Heavyweight champion in 11:50 via first blood "The French Fries..I mean Franchise" Shane Douglas.

• Gene talks to Steiner and his Ho
  • Gene tries to stir up some dissension in the ranks.
  • My Steiner-To-English translator is still in the shop so I just hear a lot of shouting.
  • He said something about freaks and peaks...whatever.

• Backstage Morrus is going postal about losing.
  • The rest of MIA tries to calm him down but he storms off.

• Totally Buff VS Goldberg and Sarge No-DQ match.
  • Buffer in the ring to do the intro of one half of this double main event.
  • He totally oversells the moment in true Buffer style...blah blah blah the streak blah blah.
  • Goldberg will be banned for the rest of his life if they lose.
  • Here comes der stuff Buff Bagwell "Master of the Buff Blockbuster"
    • Pretty easy to be master of a move no one else uses.
  • Luger was introduced first but who really cares.
  • Sarge comes out first and alone "head instructor and creator of champions".
  • Here comes the full Goldberg march of doom.
    • I think Tony said he went from rookie to champion in record time or something.
    • Argh. I am quite sure Kurt Angle beat him on that one.
  • The breathing smoke thing is still cool. He can always sue WCW when he gets lung disease from it.
  • The heels sell being afraid.
  • Luger and Goldberg to start the match.
  • Goldberg scares Buff from the ring apron by throwing a sidekick his way.
  • Goldberg overpowers Luger and tosses him into the corner, Tony compares Luger to a cruiserweight when he is in the ring with Goldberg.
    • No, A cruiserweight can work a match, you twit.
  • Goldberg gets some good air on a flying shoulderblock.
  • Goldberg with one of them double underhook release suplex thingies.
  • He wants Luger to tag Bagwell and Buff reluctantly takes the tag and does some posing.
  • Buff with some punches and kicks then a suplex which Goldberg no-sells.
  • Buff does his fruity little dance and poses for the crowd and turns around into a gorilla press slam.
  • Sarge tags in and he starts slapping Buff and yelling at him.
  • Sarge walks the middle rope and drops an elbow for a 2 count.
  • Sarge clotheslines Luger who is on the ring apron and gets a jawbreaker from Buff who then flips off Goldberg.
  • Doubleteam clothesline on Sarge and Bagwell flips another bird.
  • Goldberg comes in and the ref holds him back.
    • Uhhhh, no-DQ, jackass.
  • Luger with a running clothesline and a 2 count.
  • Bagwell back in and he hits a double arm DDT. Goldberg makes the save on the count.
  • Buff goes to the deadly chinlock and then they doubleteam Sarge.
  • Sarge fights back but Luger hits a sad looking clothesline.
  • Sarge blocks a Bagwell suplex and reverses it.
  • Hot tag to Goldberg and he is house o' fire.
  • Goldberg gives Bagwell a pump handle overhead suplex and Luger is outside bullying the fan Goldberg signed an autographed and posed with earlier.
  • Goldberg makes the save on the fan, who promptly maces him, Goldberg throws him one handed over the railing into the ringside area.
  • Security runs in to make it look legit but Luger pulls them off.
    • I wonder if security thought it was real and Luger had to let them know it was planned.
  • Back in the ring, Goldberg is blind and throwing wild punches.
  • Luger hits a nasty looking chairshot on Goldberg and you would think he killed him.
  • Luger gets Goldberg on his shoulders and Buff hits a Superblockbuster and Luger covers for the pin.
  • Your winners in 11:24 via pinfall by Super Blockbuster, Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell.
  • Post match, the heels (including phony fan) are whooping it up at ringside.
  • The crowd is dead and the announcers act completely stunned.
  • Tony and Scott are concerned about the chairshot, Goldberg has a concussion history they say.
  • They try to rinse his eyes out by pouring water on the back of his head.
  • Goldberg gets a mild standing ovation and one guy in a red shirt waves goodbye to him while he is leaving.

• Sid Vicious vs Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Steiner vs Mystery Man for the WCW World Heavyweight Title
  • The announcers are having a hard time since Goldberg lost.
  • Buffer back in the ring. The crowd goes mild again.
  • Jarrett out first with a guitar.
  • Jarrett is famous the world over for his Stroke apparently.
    • No comment.
  • Here comes Sid..."one of the best big men in the history of the business"
    • Hide your women and Squeegees!
  • Steiner comes out 3rd..screw tradition...to preserve the secret identity of the super secret mystery man.
  • Hudson mentions the screwing of the tradition.
  • Flair comes out, the mystery man will be out later.
  • Steiner takes off after Flair but Jarrett stops him and they argue before heading back to the ring.
  • They double team Sid and throw him out of the ring.
  • Steiner gets whipped into the railing and Sid starts beating on Jarrett in the ring.
  • Sid goes for a chokeslam but Jarrett hits a Moe eye poke.
  • Sid uses the EXACT same offense on Steiner and Jarrett that Nash did earlier when he was house o' fire.
  • Jarrett whips Sid into a Steiner boot.
  • Steiner with a belly to belly and a 2 count...then some choking on the ropes.
  • Steiner with an clothesline, elbow drop and some push-ups.
  • Sid outside and gets weakly whipped into the rail.
  • Jarrett gives Sid a Stunner using the safety rail.
  • Steiner smacks Sid in the head with the title belt.
  • Sid with a sad looking comeback.
  • Sid blocks a double suplex attempt and gives both Steiner and Jarrett a Suplex at the same time...almost killing both of them in a very ugly move.
  • Chokeslam on Jarrett but Steiner saves at 2.
  • Sid with a cobra clutch slam on Steiner and he grabs Jarrett by the face and shoves him over the top rope.
  • Jarrett gets thrown into the crowd.
  • A quick shot of the Limo and Flair tells the mystery man its time to make an appearance.
  • The mystery man is still wearing his mystery outfit.
  • Steiner with some more push-ups and a boot to the head of Sid who is down in the ring for some reason.
  • According to the announcers his leg or ankle may be broken.
  • The mystery man comes down to the ring..he looks a little tubby..and he comes out to Flair's music.
  • Mystery man hits Sid once in the head and Steiner covers for the win.
  • Your winner in 8:00 via pinfall by a boot to the head/injury hurried finish, Scott Steiner.
  • Post match we get one mystery solved as an unmasking reveals Animal!?! from the Road Warriors!
  • Ad for Superbrawl and we fade out right away.
  • Sid had some kind of legit leg injury thus finishing the main event early.

• Considering all the outside/backstage stuff surrounding this card with the sale of WCW they put on a solid show. Lots of wrestling and not much screwing around compared to past WCW cards. As always feedback is appreciated.

The Bad: The Penalty Box Match kinda sucked and the whole Goldberg losing thing totally killed the crowd. Jobbing your biggest face out in that way is not a good thing

The Ugly:Some of the blown spots were just plain bad. Plus Sid trying to kill Steiner and Jarrett by suplexing both at the same time.

Finally, I would like to thank my wife for helping me with this report. I suck at typing and watching at the same time and she faithfully sat by me at the TV with a laptop and typed rough notes as I dictated action in the ring to her. I took those notes and made this here report. Thanks dear!