WCW Thunder - Wednesday, November 8, 2000

By Mel


It's been a while. For those of you wondering what had become of me, I had a pretty good con going as I shacked up in Bill's attic over the last thirteen months or so, pirating his DSL line for my own nefarious ends. It was all fun and games until the boss came up looking for some Christmas decorations among the dustballs and dressing dummies and found me eating humdingers--two clotheslines and a Sharpshooter later, and I swore I'd cover this week's Thunder as penance for wearing some of his dearly departed Uncle Claude's clothes and eating canned peaches from the cupboard at obscene hours of the night.

Actually, I've just been buried beneath a landslide of school and scheduling snafus. This is the first time in quite a while that I've had a chance to watch a whole wrestling telecast, let alone come off the bench for the Digest.. I invited the Schwahsylum's very own Swan to ride stereo shotgun for the telecast, marking the very first DDT Digest simultaneous coastal show recap! If that doesn't make this THE MOST INCREDIBLE THUNDER IN THE HISTORY OF THE SPORT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOES!

It should be fun.

But that's enough jibber-jabber. Let's do this thing.

The Good: Altogether, I lucked out with a thumbs up show on my impromptu return. Solid contests between Awesome and Booker, Rey had himself a nice showcase squash, and seeing Nash get his ass handed to him is always a good thing, even if it is for the sake of giving him another needless push.

The Bad: The show took a considerable dive down the homestretch, combining both the utterly pointless interview with yet another disposable non-wrestling newcomer and a predictably suckass main event. If you ever wonder what the main difference is between the guys up North and the guys heading rapidly South, just look at the way new talent is introduced--on Raw, we'd get a run in against an established talent. Here, we get two rookie nobodies cluttering up the timeslot before the headlining bout.

The Ugly: Bob, when he laughs. I'll be creeped out for a week.

Hoazy sends the following arena report:

OK folks, I've been given the thumbs up to add my own little Thunder arena report to add to Mel's. I feel mixed because I've always wanted to write for the coolest wrestling review site on the web, but I've already read Mel's report and gee....no freaking pressure!!! I laughed almost his entire report. Oh well, if I can't top it, maybe I can answer a few questions he brought up. By the way, I took a look at his site and read the interview with Swan, and it was pretty hysterical (or was it just terrifying). It's a good read, just hope you have thick skin. She's kind of out there.

I can start by saying how lucky we were (in retrospect) to not have to see any interviews. I might have paid extra for that little bonus if they hadn't thrown it in. Once Thunder started it was straight match, short break, match. Although everyone around us was a little tired, this really helped us stay into it.

Evan Karagias vs. Jamie Noble.....Who's idea was this??? This wasn't even a good dark match. I felt really bad for the guys when the "boring" chants started. I mean, they're out there hustling and doing some good moves, and the crowd just hates them. No build up, barely any introduction (Paula does the Thunder intros, and you can barely hear her), and the longest match of the night. Great plan, guys. When it ended Evan just booked to the back and ignored everyone in the aisles.

The crew starts bringing the trash cans out and there are audible moans from several people around us (including us). I swear I'm not making this up, my friend and I said (at the same time) "the only way this could be interesting is if Crowbar wrestles". When his music hit, our section went crazy. I think the long break (then seemingly endless match before it) held down the enthusiasm, but he is definitely over. By the way Mel, I miss Daphne too. The match was cool and there were very audible "oohhs" on the big bumps. You couldn't hear it well on TV, but the booing was very loud when they went backstage. It was probably the coolest match of the show so far, and they try going where we can't watch, once again....nice plan guys. Vito got a big pop on his save. He even got a little "Vito" chant going (although a "Staten Island Fairy" chant would have been even better, good line Mel). When Crowbar won, Awesome and Morris ran out and carried him to the ring. Ever the pro, Crowbar was still selling the bumps and actually fell over (right onto a garbage can) when he got in the ring (somebody behind us called him a goofy bastard.....pretty good description). Afterward, a director goes to get the guys and walks them through a second, smaller, celebration (which is what you saw on TV). It was kind of funny to watch.

Konnan vs. Disqo was funny because although Konnan got great response on his catchphrases of doom, it was better watching it at home. The wrestling was OK, but a reference to the Ding Dongs, come on! Actually, I have to give credit to Xavier (and hence Bill for having Xavier write), because that's where I read about them (you have to visit the Slayerground if you haven't yet). Also, Disqo's double axehandle looked as bad live as on TV (can anyone say Erik Watts). I have to say though, they did a really nice job of editing moves all night to make them look smoother. Not that they were a lot of bad ones, but even some mediocre ones look great with the right camera angle.

Flair vs. Mysterio -- In the immortal words of Aldo (actually Charles Nelson Riley), "Boring!" Rey did some nice moves and David actually got one offensive move, but that was it. The only real excitement of the match was after the Faceful of Stuff. I turned and said to my friend, "I can't believe she stayed in that top". Upon turning back to the ring I realized she didn't. We were a little far away, but the front row folks got their money's worth (guess we have a new Nipple Girl).

Stasiak vs. "Coach" Nash -- I'm obviously not as swift as Mel because I missed this one completely. Our whole section was surprised. I like the move because the Thrillers should work or not based on themselves. They're not going to get popular because Nash is standing next to them. Anyway, Kronik got a nice pop when they came out, but not when they left. I think WCW is starting to use that Magic 8-Ball booking. Then nobody even reacted hen Booker ran in. Hate to beat a dead horse, but HELLO!!! Isn't he the World Champ? The Thrillers got decent heat while leaving, hope they can build on it.

Storm vs. Meng -- Too cool! This was fun! Storm got big heat, Meng got a big pop. The match was OK for what it was, but it's not like we expected Lance to take Meng to the top rope (I have a mental picture of Meng doing a Hurracanrana....er I mean Frankensteiner from the top rope.....yikes!). The chops were unbelievably loud. Even with the crowd making noise you could hear them clearly (and after watching TV, Lance's chest was really red). I tried starting a "Tonga" chant (instead of USA) but my friend thought I was dumb. Anyhow, Kwee Wee and Meng got a nice hand at the end, that should be a fun team for a while.

...Note.....Mel, they had four guys in there sweeping between matches, but that glitter just doesn't come up. On the other hand, it makes Lance look so "special".

Awesome vs. Booker -- Definitely the match of the night. Unfortunately we were pretty beat by then, but we did our best (I lost my voice during Nitro). The guys did a great job of keeping us in it (although there was some weird twist where Awesome was trying to be a heel, but we weren't going for it). The "Table" chant started several times and got really loud when he got it. It got louder when he put Booker through it. There were boos when Booker kicked out because we all wanted to see Awesome pin him. Maybe it's a sympathy thing for the goofy gimmick. Anyhow, Booker did get his pops for his standard moves. Nice match, I'd give it 2˝ Spices (mmmmm...Spice).

Thank God we were spared the interview between the old chick and Bob Sapp. I guess I can save Mel some emails since we (the Bears) drafted him. He was an offensive lineman that went through 3 or 4 teams in three years. He was out of the NFL and actually on the XFL roster. He was doing a stupid Toughman boxing gimmick with the Fridge (William Perry to the non-Chicago fans). I found out on a local sports station by accident. Evidently Fridge quit in the second round (not surprising since he was 350lbs of blubber when an active player 10 years ago). I don't know what kind of wrestler Sapp will be, but he has an Extreme Fighting competition on his résumé and is freaking huge! But to just throw him in with no explanation was.....well....typical WCW.

Triple Threat Match -- Good way to end the show (I have to part with the wrestling purists on this one). I don't think anyone in the crowd had the energy for a good long match anyway. The thing with Kronik was bizarre! Nobody could figure it out (although I had a sneaking suspicion, Damn that Disqo). At least they left through the crowd so they could shake hands. It was a pretty cool match for having 3 big guys who don't do any technical wrestling. Bam Bam has some nice moves (although I'm still wondering if that rumor about him saving children from a fire was real or a just a rumor). The end was a little different from the edited version. Bill (obviously hurting) dropped Bigelow trying for the jackhammer. But being the intense (psycho) individual he is, he picked him right back up, took 5 or 6 deep breathes and absolutely planted him! The crowd went crazy, which seems odd considering we saw him do the exact same move to BBB about 1˝ hours earlier. I think it was mostly in tribute to somebody giving his all for the paying customers. He limped out of the arena badly. If he didn't hurt his leg, it must have been his back. But he still stopped to pose for the crowd. No matter what anyone says about his attitude, he really tried to give the crowd what they wanted (both shows).

The Good -- Hurrah for Crowbar! I really enjoyed watching Goldberg, and thought he gutted it out while obviously hurting. Booker and Awesome put on a good, clean, title match.

The Bad -- That you poor people had to watch all those awful interviews.

The Ugly -- I'm with Mel on this one, that interview with Sapp and the old chick was beyond horrifying.

*The Interesting -- I had to add this category in tribute to the brunette in the white shirt. You saw her if you watched either show. She was in the aisle halfway up the walkway. She was hugged (groped) by more wrestlers than everyone else put together. My cynical friend said it was because she was showing off her....um....assets, but I think it's because.....well....yeah he was probably right. She also had the best sign of the night, it said "I'm Next". :)

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