WCW Thunder - Thursday, July 26, 2000

By Greg of Great... Nah, go read some cards over at the M.E.W TNM Circuit

TRIVIA FROM LAST WEEK: No one got both the questions right. HHH's WWF debut was against Bob Holly and no one knew that. And the Wrestlemania X Rap was done by Men On A Mission. Where's your prize? Umm... I think Aldo is taking care of those. :)
TRIVIA I NEED ANSWERED THIS WEEK: How many managers were there at Survivor Series 1993 and who were they? Who was Jake Roberts' half-brother in the WWF? And what the was the last WWF PPV that The Mountie's shockstick was used? E-mail me the answers if you know them.
Let's start the report. I started my tape about 30 seconds late...
At this time, The Cat is in his limo talking to someone on his phone. The Cat says something about Kronic but my tape doesn't get it in time. The Cat tells his Momma that he loves her or for someone to tell his Momma he loves her. The flute music then starts up and The Cat fends off the Jung Dragons outside his limo. Yang then comes at The Cat with his sledgehammer and ends up breaking the window with it. Smooth runs out and demands to know who smashed the window. The Jung Dragons point at each other as they're scared. Smooth then demands a match with the three of them tonight. The Cat grants it. Smooth is one bad mother, better watch my mouth.

Juventud Guerrera and Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Shannon Moore and Shane Helms

The Filthy Animals' theme music makes me unhappy. Bad song.
Tygress has a real nice ass. Just an observation.
The Filthy Animals are carrying a ladder down to the ring with them.
Disco, Rey, Juvi, and Tygress do the "Whazzzup" routine for the Bud commercial and Scary Movie.
On a side note, Scary Movie was a pretty funny movie.
And also, Tygress sure did scare me when she yelled "Whazzzup." Don't give her a microphone, WCW.
Konnan takes the microphone.
INSERT THE CATCH PHRASES OF DOOM.
Jesus, the "Go ahead, touch it. That's enuff," is getting old and annoying quickly.
Konnan makes fun of Evan Karagias injuring himself. Konnan says he brought a step ladder (just noticed that) down to the ring and he and that "cranberry" Tank Abbott should come down to the ring to practice on it.
Juventud takes the microphone and talks about Juice action or something.
Tank's music plays and Evan Karagias, on crutches, along with Tank Abbott, with his green square, makes their way down to the ring.
Tank says that he's the toughest man in the world. He then issues a dance contest.
Tank then plays his music and he grooves along.
As Disco and Konnan do a little dance of their own in the ring, Moore and Helms run into the ring and dropkick them out.
Juvi and Rey send their opponents into opposite corners.
Juvi and Rey go to send them into each other but the Three Count members reverse it.
Juvi throws Rey over himself and onto Helms. Rey nails an X-Factor on him.
As Moore hits what looked to be a great move on Juvi, we cut to ringside where Evan and Tank are holding off the rest of the FA with crutches.
Shannon goes under Juvi and Rey holds Shane.
Juvi then goes off the ropes for something but Shannon sends him down from the apron.
Shane gets out of the hold. Shannon springboards in with a crossbody for a two count.
Outside the ring Disco sneaks up on Tank and hits him with his green square.
Tank chases Disco up the ramp.
The Jung Dragons then enter the ring from somewhere and Yang spinkicks Shannon.
Shane ducks a clothesline from Jamisan, then Jamisan goes under a kick, Kaz then nails a spinkick.
The ref is distracted on the outside during all of this.
Juvi springboards in with a legdrop.
Juventud celebrates.
Shane ducks under something from Juvi and hits a release German suplex that Juvi was supposed to land on his feet while doing it. Juvi lands to low on the move, though.
Shane reverses a go-behind.
The Juice hits some back elbows.
Shane sneaks under a clothesline and executes a nice German suplex for a two count when Rey makes the save.
Damn, when Shane and Shannon aren't blowing spots like on last Nitro, they're great in the ring.
Nice reversals happen and Rey springboards in with a clothesline.
He only gets a two count when Shane makes the save.
Shane sends Rey off the ropes and Shannon sends Rey over and into a power bomb from Shane! Great move from my favorite WCW tag team.
Two count only.
Shane backbreakers Rey and then flips Shannon Moore into the ring and onto him.
Shannon sends Rey into the ropes and he does that twisty twirly thing (that should be the technical name for it.). Rey knocks Shane off the apron.
Rey ducks a clothesline from Moore. Moore jumps over Rey and puts him in a sleeper. Shannon then drops down with the move.
Sweet move. I gotta buy some old OMEGA tapes with these guys on them.
Juvi makes the save from a pinfall.
Rey sends Shannon into a Juvi boot.
Juvi nails a sweet power bomb that be brings him down face first on.
Of course the announcers are talking about Nitro. Focus on the great action in the ring, goddamn it!
Rey holds Shannon's legs open. Rey jumps off with a leg drop to the family jewels.
Juvi missed the Juvi Elbow
Someone in the WWF should be that damn smart.
On the subject of Juvi and the WWF, it's funny how WWF marks talk about how Juvi copies The Rock. Bad news, marks...Juvi is making fun of how stupid The Rock's character is. So you know what.....Back to the action.
Shannon drops a leg on Juvi.
Shannon misses a springboard moonsault.
Shane runs in with a superkick on Juvi.
Two count only.
Rey slips under Shane and rolls him up for a two count.
Moore and Shane hit their assisted neckbreaker move.
Shane covers for a two count.
Rey backdrops Shane out of the ring.
Rey slides under the bottom rope and spinning headscissors him.
In the ring Shannon jumps at the corner but Juvi catches him and plants him with a Juvi Driver.
Woah! Are we going to see the 450 Splash?
Yes! 450 Splash! It's been a long time since I've seen that.
Juventud then covers for the win at around five and a half minutes.
I bet Aldo wishes he still reported this show. He got the crap show, I got the show with a five and a half minute, great matches.

Booker T is walking in the back, with a bandage on his head. Personally, I would've got an Elmo band-aid.
Nice way to show the sponsors. They show the product name with the Nitro Girls bouncing all around.
Booker T, without Our Patron Saint, makes his way down to the ring.

Clips from Nitro play including Our Patron Saint getting thrown through a window. Here's another picture of the great one.&
Goldberg attacked him from out of nowhere. If Our Patron Saint knew about the attack, he would've kicked some fruit booty.
Booker T can honestly tell us that he's been to hell and back.
Booker T doesn't like Goldberg.
Booker T respects Goldberg.
Goldberg doesn't have to go around whining about being beat in the ring 1-2-3.
Booker T says that Goldberg can "save the trauma, for your Momma."
Booker T says that the people in the arena are his people.
So I'm not your person Booker T? Excuse me a moment, I have to cry.
While I cry, I watch Ricki Lake. Nice show title.
Booker T says he'll die in the middle of the ring for something, talking about Jeff Jarrett.
Booker T throws out his new catch phrase and we hear the dark voice at the beginning of Jarrett's theme. It now goes, "Ch-Ch-Chosen One."
Jeff Jarrett talks from the top of the apron.
Jeff says Booker's days as WCW Champion are numbered.
Tonight Jeff Jarrett doesn't want a title shot, he wants a piece of his ass.
Jeff says he's not even going to ask The Cat because he's too protective of his PPV Main Event.
Tonight in the main event, Bunkhouse Brawl between Booker T and Jeff Jarrett.
Jeff also says it's going to be a Lights Out match, no DQ, not sanctioned by WCW.
To that, Booker T says they can do it right now.
Tony: "There's no holding them back."
Jeff and Booker T brawl until security separates them.
Good job Tony. Wrong again.

Security is holding Jeff and Booker T back in the back. The Cat comes between them and says he'll kick all their asses. He then says tonight they can have the match or something.
Gene Okerlund interviews Miss Hancock and David Flair. A mud pit match at the PPV. I wonder who thought of that? Hancock wants an Arm Wrestling Match tonight between her and Gunns. Hancock also wants all the MIA banned from ringside.

The Artist who used to have a funny looking ponytail (w/Paisley) vs. Skip Over (AKA Elix Skipper)

It's funny, Ed Ferrera looked through the WCW roster and saw that there was no regular wrestler (AKA, not a Power Plant guy) that could do the job to The Artist.
Skip Over looks way to happy
Skip Over dances and runs into a superkick.
Skip ducks under a clotheslines and then jumps onto The Artist and wails away on him.
The Artist misses a spin kick the first time but hits it the second.
I'm listening to the crowd and they're always dead when The Artist is wrestling. Why does Russo insist on putting this guy on TV all the time? We could be seeing Psychosis, La Parka, Los Fabulousos, The Perfect Event, Allan Funk (and not Kiwi), Mona (who was let go by WCW), hell, I'd rather be playing WCW Thunder on Playstation then see this guy. Eh... I think I'd rather watch The Artist than play WCW Thunder.
Skip Over goes for the ten punches in the corner but The Artist sends him on the apron. Skip Over executes a missile dropkick.
The Artist then drops him down and drops an elbow to his coconuts.
The Artist knocks him down again and gains a two count.
Back elbow from The Artist for a two count.
I like Elix Skipper but this is just a nothing match.
Northern Lights Suplex from The Artist for a two count.
The Artist hits a back suplex on Skip Over.
The Artist brings a chair into the ring but Skip Over dropkicks it in his face.
Skip Over sends him back in and goes for a springboard leapfrog but one of them blows the spot as Skip Over ends up hitting his groin into the back of The Artist, causing Skip Over pain, not The Artist.
Nice German suplex from The Artist.
This has been three minutes of my life that I'll never get back. More then that if you count reporting the match.
The Artist goes to grab a chair from Paisley but that HORRIBLE gimmick of poor Allan Funk, Kiwi, is standing at the top of the ramp.
Paisley runs after him as he leaves, leaving The Artist chairless.
Paisley chases him to the backstage area.
In the ring The Artist gets out of a crucifix pin attempt and knocks him down.
Skip Over leap frogs over him and nails a springboard spinkick.
Skip Over does a weird twisting maneuver and scores the pinfall at around four minutes.
Woah! Let me correct myself here. Ed Ferrera had to look all over his roster to find someone to job to Skip Over and since The Artist was the lowest on the list he picked him.

Gene is with The MIA, minus Major Stash. Major Gunns babbles on and stares at her breasts. Horny old man.
In the back Judy Bagwell drags Buff Bagwell away by his ear saying that she wants to find The Cat.

M.I. Smooth vs. The Jung Dragons

Smooth has some funky music.
None of The Dragons want to start.
Yang ducks a clothesline from big Smooth and Kaz and him dropkick him in his knees.
Triple dropkick from The Dragons.
Smooth kicks out from all their pin attempts, including a three man attempt.
Smooth backdrops Kaz over the top rope and onto Yang.
Jamisan is scared to death that he's the only one left.
Big powerslam from M.I. Smooth.
Nice full nelson sit-down slam for by M.I. Smooth.
Smooth covers for the win at around a minute and a half.

"Positively" Kanyon, who isn't all that Positive tonight has a black eye, is arriving at the arena.
Judy and Buff arrive in The Cat's room. Judy argues with The Cat and throws something off his desk. Judy brings up that the ratings are down and she can be the solution to the problems. The Cat gives her the match and Buff Bagwell apologizes for his mother.

Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock

I don't want to see this. Xavier Doom is supposed to see these crap women matches (on the PPV).
David Flair is in the referee shirt for the match.
Madden says "snoochie boochies".
Hancock milks locking up just like Terri did to The Kat on Smackdown a while ago.
David Flair makes her arm wrestle.
They go back and forth. David Flair then slams Hancock's hand down (which is on top of Gunns') to give Hancock the win.
Major Gunns then goes to tear Hancock's top off but David Flair holds her back.
Hancock sprays some perfume in her eyes, then tears her shirt off.
Major Gunns looks like a distraught crime victim.
The Wall, in MIA attire, looking like a dopey 15 year old kid, comes into the ring and chokeslams David Flair.
The Wall gives a distraught Major Gunns a hug.

Okerlund is out with Kanyon. Kanyon says the only thing he's missing is a Kimberly and that he'll find one. On the subject of Judy Bagwell, Kanyon says he'll be more then happy to Kanyon Cut Judy Bagwell in a match where Buff is barred from ringside. "Get ready to feel The Bang!"
In the MIA room General Rection declares The Wall's new name A-Wall or however they'll spell it. The Wall, while looking like a very happy 15 year old then begins to get his head shaved.
Somewhere in the back, Muta and Vampiro have beat up Kronic.
In the back, Booker T is pacing around in his underwear (little tights). Jeff Jarrett is then roping himself up. There's a branding iron in there along with a shovel.

Vampiro and The Great Muta vs. Mark Jindrak and Sean O' Haire

ICP and The Demon are absent tonight.
Vampiro says that for 60 years he's been waiting or something.
They're here to kick some ass and calls out anyone who wants to fight the Dark Carnival.
Jindrak and O' Haire run down to the ring to accept.
O' Haire dropkicks Muta then hits a springboard clothesline.
A lot of springboards tonight.
On the outside of the ring Vampiro beats on Jindrak and throws him back in.
Vampiro sends Jindrak into the corner who jumps up on the top turnbuckle and moonsaults off.
Jindrak nails a spin kick on Vampiro.
Tag to O' Haire.
Double leapfrog by the faces and Jindrak clotheslines Vampiro.
Muta runs in and kicks Jindrak.
A big chop that sends Jindrak down.
Muta gets tagged in and he pounds on him Jindrak, then elbows him.
Muta does a leg snap type move.
Vampiro gets tagged in and beats on him a little bit.
Jindrak powerslams Vampiro.
Tag out to O' Haire.
O' Haire shoulderblocks Muta for a two count.
Muta ducks under something and dropkicks O' Haire in the knee.
Dragonscrew leg trip and Muta executes a sweet leglock maneuver out of it.
O' Haire submits for the win at around three minutes.
Vampiro then plants Jindrak with the Nail In the Coffin.
The KISS music then plays and The Demon makes his way down to the ring.
As a hurting Jindrak and O' Haire are leaving, The Demon brings the young guys back into the ring.
Love Gun to Jindrak.
Love Gun to O' Haire.
Kronic then make their way down to the ring and pound on Muta and Vampiro.
Adams powerslams Vampiros on the top rope.
Kronic clotheslines Muta.
They go for High Time to Vampiro but Muta kicks Adams in the stomach.
Muta pounds on Adams.
Meltdown for Vampiro.
Adams then executes the Full Nelson Slam to Muta.

Kanyon is walking. Judy Bagwell throws her son into a locker room and tells him to stay there.
Okerlund interviews Vito. He wants Storm in a match. I don't care.

"Positively" Kanyon vs. Judy Bagwell

Judy Bagwell gets Buff's pyro.
Madden mentions her as a former Tag Champion.
Kanyon's got a shiner (black eye).
Kanyon grabs a microphone.
Kanyon is silent for a minute.
Kanyon: "Listen Bro. I've Diamond Cut you, Kanyon Cut you two times, two times, two times, already. But when I did I was being easy with you. If I Kanyon Cut you here tonight you're going to get hurt and hurt real bad. So being a positive kind of guy I'm going to give you a chance to get out of here without being injured. I'm going to give you the chance to leave scar free. What I'm telling you is get out of here."
Judy Bagwell's not backing up.
Kanyon warns her that it's her last chance.
Judy Bagwell hits him in the "bricks" and the match begins.
Judy slaps Kanyon.
Kanyon pushes Judy over and she begs over.
Kanyon says he's going to Kanyon Cut her right then and now.
Buff's music then comes on and he makes his way down to the ring
Kanyon threatens to break her neck if he comes into the ring.
Hey, the ring bell hasn't rung yet, meaning the match is done.
At the PPV, if Kanyon wins, Judy Bagwell becomes his valet, his Kimberly.
Buff gives him the match.
Off camera, as TBS cuts away for violence against women, Kanyon gives Judy a Kanyon Cutter and then runs away.

In the back Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson talk about a G-Rated tape and stuff. Shane laughs a lot.
Billy Kidman has a tape in his hand and is laughing.
Kanyon drives away in his car. He then stops, Kanyon Cuts a security guard, and then leaves.
Booker T is getting ready in the back.
Shane Douglas and Torrie make their way down to the ring.

Torrie cars Kidman a low life, piece of scum.
Torrie: "Do you know what kind of position you put me in? That's not what I meant, you sickos."
Shane calls Kidman a punk.
Shane Douglas looks like he has totally taken that extra weight off and looks pretty muscular now.
Shane introduces the new movie, which he calls raunchy.
A tape then plays where Shane Douglas is explaining that he's having performance problems. Torrie is shocked.
Shane leaves the ring with Torrie behind her.

Gene is with Lance Storm. Lance Storm says Big Vito has to earn the belt and that they have to do it his way. A wrestling match with no tables or chairs. "Don't blame me, don't blame Canada, blame yourself."
Shane and Torrie are yelling at each other. Shane then goes to the outside of the arena for the some breath. Kidman then comes up to her and taunts her with a tape, asking her if she's looking for it. Kidman says that she should've taken the key back to her place. Shane then assaults him and throws him head first into the metal door thing. Ouch.

WCW Hardcore Title Match: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito

Lance Storm has the Canadian flag lowered from the ceiling as the National Anthem begins. Big Vito runs in and canes Lance in the back of the head.
Vito hits a big punch, a backdrop, then clotheslines him to the outside of the ring.
Storm fools Big Vito and drops an elbow on him.
Big Vito backdrops Storm onto his back.
Superkick, backwards hiptoss move, two count.
Suplex by Big Vito.
Elbow drop from the top rope for a two count.
Storm slips over Vito and superkicks him.
Lance Storm brings a chair into the ring as the ref is down and knocks Big Vito with it.
Only a two count.
Big VIto rolls him up for a two count.
Lance Storm snaps him down with a jawbreaker.
Release German suplex from Big Vito and a clotheslines for a two count.
Vito goes for the Impaler but Lance reveres it into a Northern Lights for a two count.
Storm sneaks under Big Vito's leg into a pinfall, then into the Canadian Maple Leaf and holds it in the middle of the ring.
Vito submits at around three minutes.
Awesome runs out and gives Lance Storm a belly-to-belly suplex.
Lance runs away.
Much better then the Nitro match.

Jeff Jarrett is loading his wheel barrow in the back.
Scott Hudson interview with Goldberg

About Scott Hall sacrificing for Goldberg's career, Goldberg says they were trying to bait him for the future.
Bill calls it ulterior motives.
Goldberg says Hall has no appreciation for the fans.
Goldberg says that Hall is a jerk inside the ring and a jerk outside the ring.
Bill says he doesn't like to be a heel and whether it was a good idea or not, he doesn't know.
Bill says that he never aspired to be a professional wrestler.
BIll says that he ended up turning into a fan of pro wrestling.
Goldberg says that he makes a difference here and didn't make one in the NFL.
Bill says that Kevin's right when he says he doesn't live and breathe this sport because he doesn't like a lot of people in the business.
But he loves to be able to go to see children who are four days away from dying and see a smile on their face. That is his way to pay his dues, not get $20 for making an indy appearance.
Bill flat out tells Nash to kiss his ass and says that jealousy is a bitch.
Bill calls him a joke.
Bill says that when he was in the NFL, Nash was in Europe holding hands with basketball players.
Bill: "Two weeks after you put your ass on the booking committee, you're the only one who beat me."
Goldberg says that he wants the belt on his waist but he wants him to pay for hurting his reputation.
Bill asks if a promoter is concerned if a main eventer has paid his bills.
A promoter thinks who can draw money and not who has paid his dues.
Goldberg brings up the 42,000 people at the Georgia Dome for Goldberg vs. Hogan.
Goldberg brings up Flair and Anderson, saying they made WCW.
Goldberg tells Nash the only way he's going to win the match is to put himself on the booking committee before New Blood Rising.
Goldberg says that Nash is going to get his ass kicked and he can't even run away on those bad knees of his.
Goldberg reminds him to have a lot of Advil by his bed as we go to commercial.
"Self High Five" plays, but Kanyon doesn't come out.
I liked that segment just like last week. Goldberg spoke the absolute truth in all reality.

Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett

The Cat asks the people if they want to see the these two guys kill each other.
The Cat says he can't sanction the fight now so we're going to officially shut the show down right now.
The lights go off.
Madden: "Tony, is that your hand?"
Hah!
The Cat turns them back on and says he's no longer liable for what these two guys do to each other.
Jarrett looks like a member of the Trenchcoat Mafia in the jacket he wears to the ramp.
I bet Ferrera knew that he did that just to say "screw you" to the censors.
Jarrett's got some leather pants on.
Madden asks that since The Cat's off duty can he call him Ernie.
The Cat responds with asking him if he can call him Chubby.
Madden then says that The Cat's just fine. Hah!
Booker T throws Jarrett almost over the guardrail.
Almost over another one.
Booker T sends Jarrett into the crowd on the third whip.
Booker T and Jarrett fight through the crowd.
Big punch by Booker T to the side of Jarrett's head.
Back to ringside Booker T whacks Jarrett in the back with a chair.
Booker T runs right into a branding iron shot in the ring.
Jarrett takes off his leather pants and hits Booker with the shovel.
Jarrett drops a trashcan lid on Booker T's back on the outside of the ring.
Jarrett sends Booker T into the wheelbarrow.
Back into the ring they go.
Booker T goes to choke Jarrett with the cowbell but Jarrett escapes.
Jarrett jumps from the second rope and breaks a broom over his back.
Jarrett misses a hit in the corner with something.
Booker T pounds on him but Jarrett nails him with that something.
Jarrett grabs his guitar from the outside of the ring.
Jarrett goes off the top rope with a guitar shot but Booker T sets him up for the Bookend.
Jarrett eye gouges him.
Jarrett use the cowbell to choke out Booker T.
Hey, it's a better resthold then a chinlock.
Booker T's arm drops twice and the usual happens.
Booker T escapes but Jarrett whacks him in the face with a cowbell.
Booker T reveres a whip and hits a forearm shot.
Axe kick from Booker T.
Booker T does the Spinnerooni and goes for the Harlem Sidekick but Jarrett hits his braced knee with a guitar.
Jarrett then figure fours him over the ring apron.
Jarrett is using the cowbell for leverage.
Booker T finally submits to that great figure four at around seven and a half minutes.
Jarrett takes the belt with him as we fade to black..

The Good: Pretty damn good show tonight. The Goldberg interview, main event, opening match, and Torrie/Shane Douglas segments were my favorites.
The Bad: The Artist wrestled. Kiwi was on my TV. I'm sending my report in late. I think Bill's going to put a hit out on me. Booker T took some real punishment in that main event.
The Ugly: Judy Bagwell

WCW Thunder - Thursday, July 26, 2000

By Greg of Great... Nah, go read some cards over at the M.E.W TNM Circuit

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