WCW Monday Nitro - July 24, 2000

Seriously, though, I had a lot going on with work. If you ever read Arn Anderson's autobiography, you might remember he talks early on about how there is no second-string at some places of employment and that if someone is sick, somebody else has to cover. And that's just what happened.

But, I'm back. While I was gone, it looks like we have a new world champion! Congratulations to Booker T, who finally gets handsomely rewarded for all the hard work he's put in! Well done!

And according to the reviews on the 'net, Nitro's been doing well these past couple weeks. Can we make it three shows in a row, or will WCW do a Peanuts (RIP Charles Schulz) and produce quality effort only when I'm away?

If you're wanting to know where you can see Diablo, look in shareware the indies.

• A cage is hanging over the arena for some reason.

• Storm walks to the ring.
• Storm asks the crowd to rise for the Canadian National Anthem.
• The music plays and a Canadian flag is lowered as Storm stares stoically.
• Where's the Amazing French-Canadians to do vocals when you need them?
• Mark Madden tries to do the song justice but fails miserably.
• Storm says he's a little upset at the lack of respect that has been shown to him.
• Storm says that with no recognizable heroes, he thought the crowd would see him as a role model.
• Storm says the moral standards in this country are an all-time low.
• Storm says it's not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada.
• Storm refers to his match versus Mike Awesome at the next PPV.
• Storm makes an open challenge, and out comes...
• Big Vito. * sigh *
• Vito calls Storm a Canadian [piece of shit].
• Vito accepts the challenge.
• Storm asks Vito to put his title on the line.
• Vito accepts because Storm's title don't mean gots.
• With that, Storm attacks.
• Vito comes back with a pair of clotheslines.
• Vito takes off his jacket, revealing a singlet that makes him look like Nikita Koloff.
  • Okay, so Nikita had a different colored outfit, four inches of height, forty pounds of weight and more talent, but who's counting? :-)
• Storm takes over and whips Vito to the corner.
• Storm charges and gets hot-shotted to the corner.
• Punch-and-kick stuff in the corner.
• Vito goes outside and grabs a bat.
• Vito places a street cone on Storm's crotch and takes a swing.
• Vito goes outside and fiddles with a table under the ring but nothing comes of it.
• Vito goes after Storm and gets sent out of the ring.
• Vito goes up top, but Storm intercepts.
• Storm sets up for a superplex and hits it.
• Cover gets two.
• Inside cradle gets two.
• Vito gets in a nice suplex and goes up top.
• Vito hits the diving elbow for two.
• Vito whips Storm and hits the Implant DDT.
• Vito with a sloppy cover for two.
• Vito pulls out the kendo stick.
• Vito charges, but Storm tries a drop toehold.
• Vito counters with a stick shot.
• Vito with a couple of kicks.
• Vito tries a roll-up, but Storm counters and does his Canadian Maple Leaf (rollthrough half-crab) for the win and both titles!
• YOUR WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: Lance Storm via Canadian Maple Leaf in 4:33.
• These two guys didn't click very well.
  

• Seeing Booker with the title is... rather refreshing, I must say.
• A guy in the audience holds up this sign: "Booker T -- Do You Love Me?" No comment.
• Booker thanks the fans for his support.
• Booker says if it weren't for the fans, Booker wouldn't be the world champion.
• Booker talks about Jarrett's ranting in the back and says to "save your drama for your mama."
• Booker will take Jarrett to school at NBR.
• Booker: "Don't hate the playah, hate the game."
• Goldberg walks out.
• Sign: "I Never Liked Goldberg From The Very Beginning!"
• Goldberg says that Booker stuck his nose into his business.
• Goldberg talks about Booker's promise of a title defense every Monday.
• Goldberg says that he will be Booker's opponent this evening.
• Booker accepts.
• As the two stare each other down, The Cat walks out.
• Cat tells Goldberg he is the boss.
• Cat says that Goldberg doesn't choose Booker's opponent.
• Cat says the fans will choose Booker's opponent tonight.
• Cat says the voting will take place on WCW.com. Well, these fans aren't choosing, I guess.
• Cat says that the website visitors can choose from ten wrestlers.
• Cat gives Goldberg the five-second spiel.
• Goldberg chokes out Cat, and Booker gets into it.
• Crack security breaks up the melee.
• Cat says he owes Goldberg one.

• Apparently, Mark Madden is "TV's Best Looking Man" according to the chyron.
• Schiavone calls tonight's show a "history making moment." * sigh *
• They show a list of names amongst who can be voted for.

• Great. Chavo's going to have to carry three people tonight.
• Kidman says that it's Torrie Wilson' birthday and he has a present for her -- a tape with Torrie and him doing "extracurricular activities."
• Hancock and Flair are in casual clothes.
• Flair attacks Chavo from behind.
• Flair whips Chavo into a back elbow.
• Flair with a scoop slam.
• Apparently, Hancock and Gunns are going to wrestle in a mud pit at the PPV. * sigh *
• Chavo with a dropkick and a flapjack.
• Chavo covers for Ms. Hancock breaks it up.
• Flair attacks Chavo from behind.
• Gunns walks into the ring and slaps Flair.
• Now, the men and women pair off.
• Chavo beats down Flair in the corner.
• Chavo with a boot choke.
• Tag to Gunns.
• Hancock charges at Gunns but trips when she moves.
• Hancock falls on Flair's jewels.
• Let the hair pulling commence.
• Flair holds Gunns for a Hancock crossbody, but Gunns escape.
• Hancock and Flair have some words, which allows Gunns to roll Hancock from behind for the win.
• YOUR WINNERS: Chavo Guerrero, Jr. and Major Gunns via roll-up in 2:35.
• Post-match, Gunns tries to revive Chavo but Hancock pulls her off.
• Flair holds Gunns so Hancock can rip off her shirt.
• Chavo attacks Flair from behind and clotheslines him out of the ring.
• To say this was very underwhelming to be an understatement.
  

• Hey, isn't that Paul E. Dangerously's ninja bodyguard?

• Brian Adams tells his partner that it's match time.
• We pan into the locker room and Bryan Clarke is laid out.
• Jarrett walks out.
• Kronic's music plays, but no one comes out.
• Finally, Adams walks out, looking for his partner.
• Jarrett with some offense as Adams enters.
• Adams ducks a clothesline and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
• Adams covers for two.
• Jarrett reverses a whip but eats a piledriver.
• Adams covers, but Jarrett's leg reaches the ropes.
• Jarrett rolls outside to regroup but Adams follows.
• Adams tries to ram Jarrett against the pole, but Jarrett counters.
• Jarrett hits a piledriver on the carpet.
• Jarrett covers for two.
• Jarrett goes to the middle rope and hits a right.
• Jarrett goes to the middle rope again but gets caught in a bearhug.
• Jarrett comes off the ropes and counters a sidewalk slam with a DDT for two.
• They go into the corner and Jarrett tries a floatover, but Adams hits a cobra clutch slam.
• Legdrop gets two, and Madden gets in a great comment: "That move never wins!"
• Jarrett goes for the guitar and jabs Adams in the throat.
• Cover gets two.
• Adams with a gorilla-press gutbuster for two.
• Adams goes up to the middle rope but misses the kneedrop.
• Clarke enters the ring with the busted guitar and jabs him in the throat.
• Mark Johnson blocks another guitar shot, so Clarke hits the Meltdown instead.
• Adams calls for High Times, but Clarke signals to the table.
• They throw Jarrett outside and try to give him High Times on the table.
• Johnson tries to block, so he gets High Times by Kronic as Jarrett flees.
• Match lasted almost six minutes.
  

• The Cat is your special referee.
• What the hell is ICP doing back in WCW?
• Great Muta comes out to stereotypical Japanese music.
• The Cat has words for Muta, and Vampiro kicks him from behind.
• Cat gets up and takes out ICP and Vamp.
• Muta with a spin kick to the midsection.
• Muta and Vamp touch hands, and Madden screams the "Brothers In Paint" mantra.
• It's a big beatdown on Cat.
• Demon chases everyone off so he can give him the Love Gun.
• ICP plays to the crowd until Cat comes to and kicks them out of the ring.
• Well, if it spares me from seeing how badly Muta has deteriorated, it works for me.
• No rating for obvious reasons.

• Booker comes out first for obvious reasons.
• Booker's opponent:
• Sting.
• As Sting walks out, Goldberg jumps him from behind.
• Goldberg with a standing side kick.
• Booker charges the aisle and battles with Goldberg.
• Booker tends to Sting as EMTs load him onto a gurney.
• F*** You, WCW.©
• Goldberg quotes Ric Flair in the ring.
• The censors bleep out the word "boy" in Goldberg's rant.
• Booker accepts Goldberg's challenge, and we have a match after all.
• Goldberg hits a lariat off the ropes.
• Goldberg with a press slam, and Booker rolls out to the floor.
• Goldberg goes outside and rams Booker shoulder-first to the steps.
• Goldberg says "[F*** you]" to a fan at ringside.
• We see that Booker is busted open as Goldberg rolls him back in.
• Goldberg with a cross-armbreaker.
  
• Booker reaches the ropes.
• Stevie Ray hits ringside and throws in the towel.
• Goldberg wipes the towel with his armpits.
• The Cat says it's over and Goldberg gets the win.
• However, Booker keeps the title because he didn't quit.
• Goldberg beats down security after the bell rings at 3:02.
• So, if Goldberg was going to be wrestling anyway, what was the point of the fans voting?
• I hope WCW is building up to a Booker/Goldberg match at NBR, otherwise this was completely pointless.
• I can't rate this.

• Why is Judy Bagwell here?
• "Self High Five" plays, but Kanyon doesn't come out.
• "Self High Five" plays again, and Hudson asks if there was another production miscue. Hah!
• Buff: "Let's hear it for DDP! *gives raspberry*"
• Buff corrects himself and says Kanyon.
• Judy cusses out Kanyon and tells him to get out here. SHE'S HARDCORE! I think.
• Buff says he wins and his music plays.
• Judy does the Buff Strut as the cameraman puts his camera down.
• Kanyon (in makeup) beats down Buff and Judy slaps him around.
• Buff clotheslines Kanyon out of the ring and tends to Judy.
• Kanyon sneaks up from behind and gives him the Kanyon Cutter.
• Kanyon stalks Judy to the back.
• Judy throws her shoes at Kanyon and they go backstage.
• Kanyon bitches out Judy and chases her.
• Kanyon shoves Judy into the trunk of a car and takes off.
• No match, thus no rating. Sense a pattern?

• Torrie and Douglas smooch upon hitting the ring.
• Douglas runs down Cleveland for some cheap heat.
• Awesome has a nickname, but I'm not going to dignify it.
• Awesome walks out with some large women. * SIGH *
• I guess making Awesome a serious threat was too much to ask the WCW bookers.
• Lockup, Douglas shoves Awesome into the corner but misses a punch.
• Awesome rams Douglas into the turnbuckle quite a bit.
• Awesome gets sent to the corner, hops on the ropes and delivers a back elbow.
• Douglas gets sent outside.
• Awesome with a splash from the top rope.
• Awesome whips Douglas into the rail.
• Torrie hops on Awesome as he tries to get into the ring.
• This allows Douglas to snap Awesome's neck on the top rope.
• Awesome gets sent into a set of chairs.
• They go inside.
• Douglas with a gourdbuster and a rolling necksnap.
• Snapmare into a neck vice.
• Awesome elbows out but runs into a kneelift.
• Douglas goes up top but comes out like his archnemesis.
• Awesome with a couple running clotheslines and a big splash for two.
• Awesome hits a belly-to-belly suplex for two.
• Awesome nails a standing spinebuster.
• Awesome goes up top but Torrie grabs his legs.
• Douglas does the Duggan taped-fist job and nails Awesome.
• We see Kidman' tape on the TurnerTron.
• Awesome shoves Douglas off and gives him an axehandle for the win.
• YOUR WINNER: Mike Awesome via top-rope axehandle in 5:17.
• Kidman hits the entryway with a pair of panties and Torrie gives chase.
• Storm tries a run-in but gets Awesomebombed.
• Decent match, and it was somewhat clean.
    

• Kidman says he made enough copies for the crowd and everyone in the back.
• Kidman says he even has a copy for Madden.
• We see the Yung Dragons and Kiwi watching the tape.
• Kiwi. Now that'll get Allan Funk somewhere. E-yeah.
• In the truck, Douglas rants some more.

• The way to win this match is by escaping the cage. The last man out eliminates his team from the match at NBR.
• Almost immediately, Chuck Palumbo goes for the door.
• Konnan: "There's so many green guys in the ring, I feel like I'm looking at an avocado farm."
• Just assorted brawling thus far.
• O'Haire hits a senton bomb on Morrus in the ring.
• Still more brawling.
• Rey and Juvi are hiding by the stairs and letting everyone tire themselves out.
• Stasiak whips Morrus into a leaping elbow.
• Jindrak and O'Haire are out of the cage.
• Rey tries a diving crossbody onto Stasiak, but he gets caught.
• Juvi dropkicks Stasiak from the top rope.
• Perfect Event walk out of the cage, leaving the Animals and MIA.
• Morrus goes up top for the moonsault on Rey, but Juvi trips him.
• Rey gives Morrus the Bronco Buster.
• Perfect Event lock the cage tight.
• Madden gives Konnan some bolt cutters as MIA try to escape.
• Disco Inferno opens up a hole on top of the cage.
• Meanwhile, Rey and Juvi set up a ladder.
• Rey snapmares Morrus and Juvi beats down Lash.
• Rey and Juvi go up to the top of the ladder and dive on their opponents.
• Morrus press slams Rey and climbs up the ladder.
• Disco stomps on Morrus on top of the cage.
• Rey makes it up the ladder, leaving Juvi vs. Lash.
• Konnan cuts the lock on the door.
• Morrus gives the heels a Greg Gagne noggin knocker.
• Both men go outside the door, which the camera conveniently misses.
• Schiavone: "We're completely lost." You're not kidding.
• As the Animals set up a table, Disco axehandles Morrus from behind.
• Lash nails Konnan and sets up Juvi on the table.
• Morrus signals for a dive, but Rey cuts him off.
• The camera just about misses Lash being thrown into the table, which was set up against the cage wall.
• Would a split screen hurt?
• Now, we have Morrus and Rey back in the ring.
• If the goal was to escape by going through the cage door, then what was the f***ing point of heading atop the cage?
• This is making no sense. But, the match continues...
• Rey goes for the frankensteiner but Morrus counters into a powerbomb.
• Morrus crawls out of the ring at 9:42, and your winners are... uhm...
• Well, anyway, the Animals are eliminated from wrestling at NBR.
• That was certainly confusing. Wouldn't having a match where one team advances to face the champs be better logic?
• For the fourth time tonight, I can't rate this shit.

• We see the extended entrance, but Goldberg walks alone.
• Booker charges Goldberg from behind.
• Goldberg gets in a sidekick.
• Booker's forehead is taped up from the earlier blade session.
• As Goldberg enters the ring, Booker hits him with the axe kick.
• Booker whips Goldberg into the corner but runs into a boot.
• Goldberg nails a running clothesline.
• Goldberg whips Booker and misses a clothesline.
• Booker tries a bodypress but gets slammed.
• Jeff Jarrett runs in with a chair.
• Jarrett chairs Goldberg in the back.
• Goldberg no-sells and spears Jarrett.
• The Cat runs in and gives Goldberg the Feliner.
• Goldberg gets up from that and nails Cat.
• Booker with a side kick.
• Goldberg charges at Booker and gets caught with a urinage for the win.
• Booker covers and gets three!
• YOUR WINNER: Booker T via urinage in 2:27.
• Post-match, Goldberg spears and Jackhammers the champ.
• Goldberg takes out security as we fade...
• So, a chairshot and roundhouse kick doesn't faze Goldberg, but a urinage floors him?