WCW Worldwide - Saturday, 6/24/00

By The Cubs Fan

Larry Z and Scott Hudson are the studio announcers, Tenay and Tony are the ring announcers

Goldberg turned heel, and we're all so sad about it.

Larry basically admits he talks too much.
Well, kinda.
Eric Bischoff made Goldberg?
Eric Bischoff was darn lucky he didn't screw up Goldberg.

Tony and Mike run down the lineup

The Re-Enforcers laying out an open challenge to any tag team.

I sure as heck hope that Los Dos AAs are part of that remixed WCWSN I keep hearing about.
They rule that much.

And...nothing.
Not much hype there.

Mean Gene with the Artist Formerly Known as the Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea and Paisley

Gene lays down more of the lineup: 3 Count, and Corporal Cajun versus this purple dude.
Anyway, Paisley talks about the name change and the MIA and I've resolved to never care about anything involving the Artist.
The MIA are banned from ringside, Tenay tells us.

Update: Goldberg's still a heel.

Larry does some of that philosophizing we love so well:

"The Internet nitwits can blame this all on themselves, because out of the hundreds of rumors that popped up from all parts of the world, it was a smokescreen, and no one saw the darkest day in wrestling history approaching."

Nitro 6/12

Hey, didn't DDP say that HE made Goldberg?
Or maybe Paul Orndorff.
Blah Blah Blah Blah.
There's a whole bunch of talking and not much else.
Why show Nash being arrested, if it doesn't mean anything besides the show?

I mean, a simple voice over could tell us that, and explain his kid, and we'd actually get part of the match.

On to Thunder 6/14

Nash: "You scared a vision into my kid's head."
Children that young should not be forced to watch Kevin Nash 'wrestle'.

Vince Russo retired Ric Flair, shaved his head and then shaved his kid's head

There's really little you can add to that.

It's time for AskWCW.com

Let's ask the Wall a variation question we ask everyone: "Who trained you, and who do you look up to?"
And he cuts a heel promo on his fan too!
This segment is getting more and more annoying by the week.
He does remember the whole "trained by Bam Bam Bigelow angle", so there you go.
And he tells us that he definitely doesn't look up to Rick Steiner or Goldberg.

The Re-Enforcers vs Mike Jindrak and Sean O'Haire

Funk and Sanders don't get any love from the graphics people...they forget to put up their new team name.
Mike Sanders looks less than interested than usual.
Allen Funk has something to say!

"All you people out there, shut up! All you people out there in TV Land, I'm angry Allen Funk, and this is "Average" Mike Sanders...I'm sorry, "Above Average" Mike Sanders. We are the Double A team. And all you boys in back better start getting scared! I want someone to send me a tag team out here. I want the Outsiders! I want Stasiak and Palumbo! Shut up! I want a tag team worthy of facing us!

Jindrak and O'Hare come out to that stirring tune of "Dead Air", causing Funk to say: "Who the [mute] is that!"
So, Penzer does the introduction, and that clears everything up.
Or not, as Funk says "Who the hell [censors missed it this time] is that? I want a real tag team!"
The faces clear the ring of Funk and Sanders to start, of course, although the Re-Enforcers get a nice double dropkick.
Tony puts over Jindrak as an ex-basketball player, and I don't care.

He doesn't have a nickname, you see.

He does have a drop toe hold, on Sanders, to start this match..
Tag, corner whip, O'Hare with a corner splash, and then do that assisted crossbody move that the Hardyz do.
Sanders reverses a whip into his pumphandle back slam.

That needs a name.

Tag to Funk, whip, double leapfrog, off the ropes and a power bomb.
Allan Funk with more kicks, tag to Sanders, big kick to the chest, juking knee by Sanders.
Cover by Sanders, 2 count.
Cover again, 2 count.
Forearm by Sanders, whip, O'Haire jumps over with a sunset flip, but Funk breaks it up.
Sanders kicks and stomps and stomps some more.
Sanders puts on a cobra clutch, but he's no Sgt. O'Haire escapes with elbows.
O'Haire quickly to the top, moonsault misses, but he lands on his feet.
Hot tag to Jindrak and Funk, and Jindrak wins it.
Clothesline, Clothesline, body slam, dropkick, Funk gets thrown over the top rope.
Jindrak with a tilt a whirl slam, O'Haire goes to the top, take a bunch of time, and hits a Se(a)nton Bomb.
And...that's a three? Aw, no fair.
Your Winner: Sean O'Haire and Mike Jindrak (3:40)
A little note to Mr. O'Haire:

Sean, I know Jeff Hardy. (No, not really)
Jeff Hardy's a good wrestler. (Maybe a little too much suicidal.)
You are no Jeff Hardy. Sorry.
Don't be stealing moves unless you want to be told that same thing around 300 times after you appear on a show that has more than five people watching.
And don't be beating the Re-Enforcers. That's just wrong.
(Amazingly, I wrote that BEFORE Nitro. And Terry Taylor MUST watch Worldwide.)

3 Count vs Air Paris, James Storm and Cassidy Riley

Nice new jackets, dudes.
You know, as bad as Evan, Shane and Shannon are, they're not as bad as O-Town.
Despite not being the Jung Dragons, the other side has their music.

I guess the music guy's too used to seeing those two teams fight.

Paris has a very Hardy-ish outfit going too, with a red shirt, jeans and messy hair.
Riley and Evan start this off.
Lockup, waistlock by Evan, reversed by Riley, Evan with a takedown, then into an armbar.
Riley reverses, and gets in a couple elbows.
Evan reverses the armbar and dances a little too much for his own good.
Riley with punches, slam, springboard...

Good lord, he totally blew that move.
Slipped on the ropes, fell right into the ring.
I know it's a tough thing and I really shouldn't be laughing my head off, but still...
The fans agree with me, too...
Good thing he's in there with Evan, who's quite used to dealing with blown spots himself.

Evan with stomps, whip, reversed, hiptoss.
Riley with an arm bar, tag to Air Paris, who comes off the top with an axehandle.
Paris with a quick. vertical suplex.
Paris pushes Evan into the corner, corner whip, reversed, Paris gets a foot up to block Evan's charge, but then runs right into a powerslam.
Cover, nah, tag to Shannon, who gets a jumping back kick for his trouble.
Whip, and Paris hits an awkward looking reverse powerbomb.
Paris off the ropes, Shannon keeps missing clotheslines till Evan gives him a shot as he comes off the rope
Shannon grabs him for a fallaway slam, and as the ref is distracted by the other team, Shane comes in to spike the move with a neckbreaker.
Shannon with an armbar, tag to Shane, who comes off the top rope with a sunset flip. 2 count.
Shane with a side kick, pose, snap mare, running legdrop, running legdrop, dancing legdrop.
Here's another pose, then tag to Evan.
Evan and Shane combine with a missile dropkick and a Russian Legsweep, which is a nice combo.
Evan with a snap suplex, then a tag to Shannon, and an assisted running senton.
Shannon with a suplex, then goes to the top, twisting moonsualt misses.
Hot tag to James Storm, and to Shane Helms.
Storm takes out everyone, and then all six men are in.
And then the picture on my tape goes totally wacky, but 3 count eventually win it with a triple facebreaker

That's a double faceslam by Shane and Shannon, while Evan does reverse powerbomb.

Your Winner: 3 Count (4:48)

The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea (w/the muse currently known as Paisley, but once known as Nitro Girl Storm) vs the Misfits In Action member currently known as Corporal Cajun, but formerly known as Lash LeRoux (w/Captain Rection, formerly known as Hugh Morrus, Private Stash, formerly known as (Van) Hammer, Lt. Loco, formerly known as Chavo Guerrero, Major Guns, formerly known as nWo Girl #3, and Pops, who I just wish was never known)

Perhaps I should shorten that to Artist vs Lash?
Paisley convinces the MIA to make this a 'fair fight', and leave the ringside area for the match.
Everyone but Major Guns does, so she and Paisley can have some sports entertainment fun later.

They don't say that, but...

Artist attacks Lash as he's watching the other guys leave, but Lash gets the better of the punches.
Whip, backdrop by Lash.
Lash with a nice dropkick, whip, Artist holds onto the rope, Lash's head is down too soon, so it gets kicked.
Artist charges, and gets clotheslined.
Another whip, but Artist slides under Lash's feet, and pops up with some Road Dogg like jabs.
They prove just as ineffective here, as Lash elbows him before he can hit whatever big move he was setting up for him.
Lash tries a slam, but Artist with a go behind and throws down Lash by his hair.
Artist tires a legdrop, but it misses.
Artist gets up first though, and hits a fallaway slam.
Artist with a something...a punch? a palm strike? a really quick clothesline? and a cover for two.

I need better reception

Artist with a very short half-hour suplex (maybe a five minute suplex?) as Lash falls behind and rolls up Artist for 2.

Paisley's up on the apron...

Artist and Lash reverse whips, with Lash eventually going right towards Paisley...
Lash holds up at the last second, and moves aside, causing Artist to run into the ropes, but not actually hit Paisley.

Paisley falls to the apron anyway

Lash ends up rolling up Artist again, for another 2 count.

I think the Artist's kickout was supposed to knock Lash into Paisley (who wasn't supposed to go down the first time), and go to the finish
With her still down, Lash quickly improvises, and continues the match.

Lash quickly gets in the Bourbon Street Blues, then starts talking to Paisley.
Lash tries to walk away, but Paisley grabs him by the hair and slaps him.
The Artist, who had gone to the ropes, comes off with his DDT (better than usual) and that's three.
Your Winner: the Artist (2:02)
Major Guns was sure a lot of help there.
And here comes Pops, for reasons I don't know want to know. And then Major Guns does stuff and a catfight happens and Pops rolls in and the announcers make lame condom jokes and I'm so not interested in any of this.
All of you can go away, far far way, until you're interested in wrestling again.
That's not really happening when almost as much time is allotted for the post match stuipdness (1:40) then the match.

Bobby and Scott wrap up.

I just ask for no more sports-entertainment on my show. Please?

WCW Worldwide - Saturday, 6/24/00

By The Cubs Fan

Back to DDT Digest