- Harrises join the nWo - so much for keeping it elite, huh?
- Jarrett makes a match with him and Sid at Superbrawl.
- Jarrett pins Sid.
- Sid's triple threat.
- Jarrett talks about his surprise for Sid.
- Funk will be surprised too.
- Hall says Nash will be back soon.
- Jarrett says Sid will be begging to get rid of his belt on ebay after tonight.
- Tony and Mark Madden are in the booth.
- Three Count gets letterboxed.
- Three Count has a contest where a lady can get a date with the boys.
- Their music is messing up, so they can't lip sync properly.
- Three Count doesn't like it.
- We see Norman Smiley in the control truck messing up the music.
- The segment dragged on far too long for what it was.
- Norman's music hits.
- Madden works in all the "Internet mark" comments he can.
- Norman comes out in a Tulsa Oilers hockey uniform.
- He'll be facing Evan Karagias.
- Evan dumps Norman to the floor, but Norm gets rolled back in by Three Count.
- Norman suplexes Evan into the ring.
- Norm reverses a go-behind, hits the SMBU, but Evan reverses into a Kidman Facebuster
- Three Count interference backfires.
- Evan rolls Norm up, and Norm reverses it (a little late, but the ref stopped counting) to get the pin!
- Danny Hodge is at ringside.
- Norm challenges all three men at Superbrawl.
- He promises some bad things for Booker.
- He apparently finds Booker's bag, and takes "Harlem Heat" related stuff out of it.
- Scott Steiner comes out with some of Godfather's surplus clothes.
- I wonder when the next US title defense will be?
- Hall's got the mic.
- Hall teases a "Hey Yo," but doesn't say it. Must be a heel.
- A Harris does generic mic work.
- The other one finishes it.
- Harris has the balls to call what's in the ring "The elite."
- Steiner on the mic.
- They bleep "Hoochies."
- Steiner calls himself "The Purple Warrior."
- Steiner gets two of the girls to talk about his ability between the sheets.
- Madden: "You know what you get when you spell 'Tulsa' backward, right?"
- Steiner talks about Ric Flair being old.
- I go to get my pizza at the door, so Aldo tells us: "Basically, Steiner buried the company by saying that he could watch the WWF instead of Flair interviews and watch Steve Austin, a guy Flair fired."
- Jarrett talks about being commish, and tells Sid he's not done with him yet.
- Jarrett says his referee will be Mark Johnson, the ref the nWo paid off.
- The title match will be No DQ.
- Jarrett says that Sid has to wrestle Scott Hall in the main event.
- Hall looks worried, and shows his limp to Jarrett.
- The match will be non-title. Hall doesn't look happy.
- Booker says they took his colors and his music, but they'll never take his dignity.
- Torgo says he's going to fight one of his father's battles for him tonight.
- Leave It To Beaver-type music brings out Booker and Midnight
- Booker does his move to raise the flames, but there aren't any.
- His opponent - Wall.
- Madden talks about Biggs owning T. He says Sesame Street is teaching a 25-letter alphabet. Mr. T is now "Mr." Ice T is now "Ice". And the Immortal Hulk Hogan is now the "Immoral" Hulk Hogan.
- Booker with early offense, but he eats Wall's boot charging the corner.
- Booker gets dumped to the floor.
- Booker reverses a guardrail whip, but gets caught coming back into the ring.
- Booker locks on a sleeper.
- Wall escapes with a pendulum backbreaker.
- Wall goes up top, and Booker catches him with a Harlem Sidekick on the way down. Impressive.
- Axe Kick, breakdance, Rock Bottom.
- Booker goes up top.
- Wall catches him as J Biggs comes out.
- Booker's boots only have "B" on them.
- Booker turns around, gets met with a Chokeslam, and Wall gets the pin.
- Biggs sends the cops in to arrest Booker.
- The cops cuff Booker as Biggs reads off charges against Booker.
- The final charge is attempted murder.
- He complains about his arm that TP broke last week.
- Jarrett says that he and Finlay will be in the same ring again this week.
- Knobbs accepts.
- After he leaves, Jarrett says that Finlay will be a ref again, and Knobbs will be facing Bigelow.
- Funk doesn't know where Arn stands.
- Arn says he'll see how Funk handles himself in the match with Torgo, then he'll let him know.
- Barbarian is in the ring, wearing a leather jacket.
- No entrance for him.
- How you say, we will job in 20 seconds?
- Tank Abbott just doesn't interest me.
- Barbarian attacks Abbott entering the ring.
- They just club at each other.
- Barbarian shoves Abbott down, but Abbott slams him.
- Abbott with a punch to the jaw, and Barbarian's out.
- Yawn.
- "Big Al" is at ringside, continuing Must-Not-See-TV.
- Bill: To quote another web writer about "Big Al", you've got to make us care about Tank Abbott before we'll care about Big Al.
- He plays air guitar in front of it, until Daphne screams.
- Crowbar: "Coming." He then meekly leaves.
- Fat Eddie gets booed.
- He says he's here in an official capacity, since Jarrett gave him the power to organize the women's division.
- He talks about women having no place in wrestling.
- He thinks they're "adorable."
- He's going to make it easy for the women.
- They must have rigorous medical exams for the women, and he'll be present at every one.
- Fat Eddie calls out Dr. Jeter.
- He's a world-reknown cosmetic surgeon, apparently.
- Madusa is apparently one of his clients.
- Jeter says he's done cosmetic surgery on Madusa.
- He says he's done a nose job, eye job, lip job, boob job, and did an ass augmentation.
- Fat Eddie says Madusa has no place in the Women's Division, and there's nothing natural about Madusa.
- Granny Grapefruits makes her way down.
- Madusa jaws at the doctor, slaps, and kicks him.
- Madusa kicks Fat Eddie out of the ring.
- Madusa makes like my sister and breaks a clipboard over the doctor's head, and grinds her foot into his crotch.
- A kick to the jewels finishes things.
- Taylor speaks for the WCW Executive Board.
- Taylor says the board can change stipulations of matches.
- Mark Johnson is out as ref for Superbrawl, and Hall's match against Sid is for the title now.
- Funk makes his way out.
- Torgo makes his way out with Crowbar and Daphne in tow.
- Torgo sends Crowbar and Daphne to the back.
- Funk has a mic.
- Funk asks if David understands what he's getting into.
- Funk gives David one chance to say "I Quit" before the match starts.
- David: "I'll go to hell before I'm quitting."
- Funk rants to Ric Flair.
- David gets the chair Funk brought into the ring.
- David with a series of chairshots.
- David asks Funk if he quits.
- Funk falls the floor.
- Torgo gets a table.
- Funk reverses a guardrail whip, and pulls the mats off of the concrete.
- Funk piledrives David on the mats, though.
- Funk rants to Ric, and asks if "The little bastard" quits. David refuses.
- Funk piledrives David on the concrete.
- Funk sets up on the table, and piledrives him through the table.
- The crowd chants "We want Flair" as Funk gets a second table.
- Funk promises to break David's neck.
- Funk puts David across the table, and chairs him across the back.
- Funk gives Ric five seconds.
- Funk threatens to come off the top on David.
- David falls off the table, unconscious.
- Funk says he'll quit tonight, but he won't quit against Ric in the same type of match.
- The ref calls for the bell, and David gets the win.
- The ref calls for help for David.
- Donald writes in:
A thought came to my mind:
Ric Flair must have been watching RAW at nine o'clock during the I Quit match.
- Arn Anderson wants a camera crew ready in two minutes.
- As we come back, Arn is talking with Tenay.
- Arn says that guys like Funk and Ric made him proud to be a wrestler.
- Arn tells Ric that David didn't have to get beat up like that.
- Arn yells at Ric for being "Ric Flair" instead of David's father.
- Arn says he's going to bow out for the first time in his life, because what he saw made him sick to his stomach.
- Disco makes his way out, with the Mamalukes in tow.
- Harlem Heat music brings out St. Stevie Ray and Big T, with J. Biggs in tow.
- Stevie slams Disco.
- Charles Robinson keeps Big T and the Mamalukes apart.
- Avalanche clothesline from St. Stevie.
- The seconds at ringside get taken to the back.
- Disco with a Russian legsweep and the diving forearm.
- Disco eats an elbow on a corner charge, followed by a kick.
- Stevie has the slapjack.
- Disco kicks it away, and hits a swinging neckbreaker.
- Disco and Charles Robinson play tug-of-war with the slapjack, and Robinson wins.
- Disco turns around and gets met with the Slapjack (the wrestling move) and pinned.
- Bigelow makes his way out.
- We see TP break Knobbs' arm last week.
- Ref Fit Finlay makes his way out, with Knobbs following behind.
- Finlay and Knobbs argue on their way to the ring.
- Bigelow launches a trash can at Knobbs as he walks to the ring.
- Bigelow uses some plundah on Knobbs out on the floor.
- Bigelow works the arm.
- Bigelow with the COOKIE SHEET OF DEATH.
- Bigelow props a ladder up in the corner.
- Knobbs reverses a ladder whip, but then charges into the ladder himself.
- Knobbs with a comeback using a kendo stick and the ladder.
- Bigelow dropkicks the ladder into Knobbs' face.
- Bigelow puts Knobbs up top, and sets up two chairs.
- Finlay hands Knobbs a trash can to use on Bigelow, which he does.
- Finlay then hits Knobbs with a chair, and Bigelow covers with a fast
count for the Hardcore belt.
- Kitty says he's been on the road with James Brown.
- Kitty says Brown's got something new and funky.
- Kitty says James Brown will be at Thunder.
- Kidman gets a promo showing his recent wins.
- His opponent: Demon.
- The announcers hype Demon's entrance.
- Crowbar watches Demon from the back and rocks out.
- Demon does his usual entrance, drooling blood this time.
- Demon opens up early, and Kidman takes his head off with a dropkick.
- Demon sets up for a backdrop, but just tosses Kidman across the ring.
- Kidman gets dumped to the floor.
- Demon drops a leg as the crowd chants for Torrie.
- Double-underhook suplex from Demon.
- Demon walks the middle rope, but misses an elbow.
- Kidman hits the tornado bulldog for two.
- Demon with a DDT.
- Side suplex from Demon.
- They should have a Unix-gimmicked wrestler called the Daemon.
- Kidman catches Demon up top, and hits a top-rope Frankensteiner for the pin.
- Crowbar attacks Kidman from behind and hits the split-legged Gourdbuster on Kidman.
- Crowbar bows to Demon.
- Demon shows his disdain to Crowbar.
- TP talks about Hogan's return on Thunder.
- TP says Hogan questioned TP's track record.
- TP says he's won every major title and looked better doing it for 14 years.
- TP says he's the present and future of pro wrestling.
- TP calls down Jimmy Hart to deliver Hogan a message.
- Hart comes out in subdued clothes with a headphone on.
- TP plays up Hart's record.
- Hart says he doesn't deliver messages.
- Hart says that he's Hogan's best friend.
- Hart calls TP a Hulk Hogan wannabe.
- Hart says in TP's lifetime, he'll never sell out as many arenas as Hogan has, sell as much merchandise as Hogan has sold, and more people watch Hogan get his mail than watch TP wrestle.
- Hart says that if TP wants to talk to Hogan, he can tell Hogan himself.
- The crowd chants for Hogan.
- TP says Hogan dared to put his hands on Liz last week.
- TP says he has a vicious streak that Hogan lacks.
- TP kicks Hart, and racks him.
- They put the chair on Hart's arm.
- TP tells Hart that, after he goes to the doctor, he can tell Hogan that he'll see him at Superbrawl.
- TP stomps the chair, "breaking" Hart's arm.
- Sid makes his way out first.
- Hall comes out solo.
- It's already 10:02 pm.
- Hall tosses the toothpick, and Sid punches him.
- Sid with ten punches in the corner, and an avalanche clothesline.
- Sid chokes Hall, and Chokeslams him.
- Hall goes to the eyes, and punches Sid.
- Hall with the fallaway slam, and Nick Patrick is bumped.
- Hall calls to the back, and Jarrett makes his way down.
- Sid gets dumped into Mark Madden's bulbous ass.
- Jarrett walks down the aisle.
- Hall lands the Outsider Edge on Sid.
- Jarrett comes back into the ring as Hall covers Sid.
- Jarrett breaks Hall's pin, saying it's his belt.
- Jarrett kabongs Hall with the guitar.
- Jarrett puts Sid on top of Hall, wakes the ref, and Nick Patrick counts for the pin.
- Jarrett tells the rest of the nWo that they're either with him or with "That Bitch."
- With that, we fade to black....