WCW Worldwide - Saturday, 1/15/00
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If you haven't visited your favorite wrestling news sites since before Friday afternoon, you may want to take a quick look.
- Tony S. and Bobby H. are the in-studio hosts this week.
- Hey, look, WCW's got a new commissioner, Terry Funk.
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Bobby: "It's going be a fun year."
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Hmm, for no reason, Bobby gives Tony a present.
- Tony's hesitant to open it.
- Back to Nitro, where we find out about that commish.
- Funk: "I love REAL professional wrestling."
- What
does, er, did(?) that have to do with WCW?
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Funk introduces his Enforcer, and the nWo interrupts.
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The nWo kidnaps Daffney.
- Meanwhile, there's a tag team tournament going on, but it only gets mentioned in passing.
- And then we see Arn helping Flair/Crowbar win the titles.
- We skip David turning on Arn, then we seen Arn and Funk beat before the nWo drives away.
- Heenan: "David Flair is an amazing person."
- Heenan: "Arn always goes to the shows in the trunk of a car."
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Goldberg T-Shirt ad, featuring what he does best, talk.
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Okay, there are clips of him beating people, but his lines are really bad.
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Goldberg: "Fear the machine. Fear the Goldberg."
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To Thunder and the events there...
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The nWo gets a pop for dragging in Arn Anderson.
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Terry Funk displays some displeasue for Juvie, Psi, and later, Jeff Jarrett.
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Funk and David Flair take out Jeff Jarrett.
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Hostages are exchange, but Funk has to agree to Nash/Funk.
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So, the going rate is AA = Jarrett + Match?
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While Terry and Bret fight, David Flair decides to be a ref.
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The nWo finishes up by cleaning up on everyone else.
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Bobby takes Tony to task for folding to Juvie and Psi.
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Bobby says he'd...sue 'em.
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Harlem Heat breakup, take #321
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Hey, this time they're actually going have a match.
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Tony: "If you can't trust your own brother, who can you trust?"
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Bobby: "Your neighbor's wife."
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I give Booker T credit for seemingly summing up all these teases.
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Then again, he got slapjacked by Stevie in Houston "in front of our family",
which has to confuse the marks.
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Stevie and Booker set up Stevie vs Midngiht.
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I guess the lesson here is not to mess with a person's slapjack.
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Bobby: "They should get rid of [Midnight] and give her to me!"
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Tony questions Bobby's money skill and leeching.
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Bobby: "Just because that one fertilizing field I invested in for Andre
the Giant went downhill..."
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Bobby: "27 acres of fertilizer. Can you imagine?"
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Souled Out Card
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I won't bother listing them, 'cause who knows what it'll be when the PPV
actually starts.
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Tony: "The Caged Heat cage is going to be a large cage, covering the ring and ringside area."
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So, yea, HitC cage.
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Tony promises to open his present next.
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Same Goldberg ad.
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Hey, whoever's in charge of WCW: how 'bout two DIFFERENT ads a week, not
two of the same one week and two different the next.
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Tony opens the present.
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Well, they stall a bit, then...
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Bobby: "This is you."
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It's the jukebox music from a waffle house.
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Okay, whatever.
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Berlyn vs Steve Armstrong
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Hudson and Tenay are the ring announcers
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They both quickly put the Wall over as the better one of the two.
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Steve gets the second entrance, but gets attacked upon entering the ring.
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European Uppercut by Berlyn, who follows with a turnbuckle smash.
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Berlyn with a cross corner whip, Steve kips up...
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Berlyn rebounds out of the corner with a clothesline, Steve ducks, one
arm drag, two arm drags and dropkick by Steve.
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Steve with a front suplex for 2.
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Berlyn with an eye poke, belly to back suplex, dropping Steve on the ropes.
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Berlyn with a whip, clothesine is ducked, Steve with a kick to the midsection
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Steve off the ropes, but is caught into a powerslam by Berlyn.
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Berlyn with 3 straight elbow drops and a pose.
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Berlyn with a whip, reversed, reversed again in a clothesline.
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Berlyn with a reverse neckbreaker, and that's three.
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Your Winner: Berlyn (1:54)
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That was really quick.
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Texas Outlaws vs David Flair and Crowbar
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Wow, I didn't think we'd get two...they don't have much time left.
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Hmm, Disorderly Conduct under a different set of masks? Not sure...
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David Flair and Crowbar run out and attack them from behind as the Outlaws
were entering.
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Outlaws are out, so this match is over before it even started.
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Urgh.
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They kinda talk about Souled Out to end the show.
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Bobby Heenan kisses up to Nash and Funk, just to be safe.
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Tony calls him on it, but we don't care.
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Bobby complains about the emptiness of the table, but I'm just not in it
after that last "match"
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Or a whole show 2 matches totaling combined less than 2 minutes of wrestling.
- I'd rather have no matches than those matches
- I rather my intellegence not insulted like that, as if those two things were truly acceptable as "matches."