WCW Halloween Havoc
Sunday, October 24, 1999

• Tony sez there's breaking news: Rey Mysterio can't compete, so the Filthy Animals have been stripped of their belts.
• So here's the deal. Konnan teams with Kidman (humperdido!) to take on the First Family and Harlem Heat.
• Winners get the belts.
• Hmmm...
• Bobby sez let's go.
• Wow -- a no bullshit opening segment.

• Hey -- remember last year's opener, Chris Jericho vs. Raven?
• I'm glad WCW got rid of those stiffs.
• Shameless plug time. All you Lash fans may want to visit the Rajin' Cajun's official site.
• Disco out first. Nice outfit.
  
  
• Here's Lash with a Lash Vegas t-shirt.
• Lash talks, Disco gets the first shot.
• Stomp down by DI.
• Lash with a boot. He misses a clothesline, catches a thumb to the eye, and is knocked down.
• Lash gets the advantage with a leapfrog, dropkick and a couple of slams.
• Elbow.
• Punch.
• Lash does the Disco dance, the splits, and he lands a punch. Nice.
• Disco elbow.
• Lash whips Disco out of the ring.
• Outside, Lash punishes Disco.
• Disco rams Lash into the post.
• Back in, Disco is caught off the top and into a supplex.
• Lash up to the top. Hits a hurancanrana, and lands on his back. Ouch.
  
  
• He keeps the advantage.
• Disco out of a headlock and he tries to whip Lash outside.
• Lash skins the cat, comes back in, and hits a backbreaker.
• Disco catches Lash in the corner, pancakes him, and hits a neckbreaker. Two.
• Disco Russian legsweep.
• Good pace, but the match is a little sloppy.
• Second rope elbow by Disco. Two.
• Piledriver.
• Lash ducks Disco, hits a powerbomb. Two.
• "Ooh-wee!"
• They trade ducking clotheslines.
• Last dance by Disco.
• 1-2-3.
• Good match.
• Nice ppv debut for Lash.
• Lash gets up and attacks Disco. Another powerbomb, this time on the belt.

• Vince, when you think quality wrestling interviews, think Arn Anderson.
• He'd make a great manager...

• Perry Saturn meets Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko on the way into the arena.
• Malenko tells Saturn he and Douglas can stick the Revolution up their asses.

• Booker T says they'll get the belts. I guess he's seen the booking sheets.
• Stevie Ray does his best imitation of Mushmouth.
• He says "Fruit booties" just because the DDT Digest crew gets such a kick outta it.

• The match is streetfight rules, two referees.
• Jimmy Hart is with the First Family. They're out first, in Halloween masks.
• Harlem Heat is next.
• Kidman comes out with a video camera. Konnan comes out with baggy pants.
• The match begins, and mayhem ensues.
• Fists fly, garbage cans and chairs bonk over heads.
• Lots of garbage wrestling.
• I'll just give you the highlights.
• Booker nearly gets the pin on Hugh Morrus after Knobbs accidentally hits him with a trash can.
• Jimmy Hart hits Booker with a trash can lid.
• Booker chases him down the entranceway. Knobbs saves his manager.
• Harlem Heat throw Knobbs through a coffin as they fight to the back.
• Morrus drops Kidman on an unfolded chair. Ouch!
• Booker accidentally kicks Stevie Ray.
• Morrus with a no laughing matter through a table on Konnan.
• In the back, Harlem Heat pins Knobbs after Stevie hits him with a mummy!
• The Yeti lives!
  
  
• In the ring, Kidman pins Morrus.
• Cool.
• So, who are the champs?
• Ref one tells ref two the Heat got their pin first.
• So they are the ten time WCW tag champs.
• Good finish.
• Konnan is slumped in a corner. He looks hurt for real.
• Appears to be a separated shoulder.

• Vince, I don't think there's anything wrong with angles involving greased, gorgeous, horny lesbians in tubs full of tapioca pudding.
• Just an innocent thought. I'm trying to be helpful here.

• Ric Flair is shown entering the arena with two inanimate objects: his son and a crowbar.
• Back to the ring, DDP and his cheating wife come out.
• Kimbo says Flair spanked her ass 14 times. And that's just a warm up with DDP.
• Welcome to WWF Raw.
• "DDP sucks" chant. Page responds: "I can't possibly suck -- I'm not from Las Vegas."
• DDP says something about Kimbo, the hotel room, a swerve. He then adds that Flair likes to "spank it."
• DDP challenges Flair to a strap match, so that more spanking can ensue.

• What's left of the Revolution is banned from ringside.
• So are the Filthy Animals.
• Saturn to the ring first. Eddy's next -- he has Flair's Rolex.
• Eddy tries a dropkick to start, but he misses.
• They duck each other.
• Saturn with the early advantage.
• Eddy with a low dropkick.
• Saturn tossed out. Eddy off the apron with an elbow.
• Eddy tosses Saturn into the rail. Saturn is limping.
• Eddy loosens the ring step.
• Saturn drops him on it.
• Saturn is hurt. The limp is bad.
• They're in.
• Saturn with a powerbomb.
• Springing second rope crossbody by Saturn. The limp is going away.
• Nasty looking wristlock into a flip, into an armbar.
• That's talent. How many guys can make a wristlock look nasty?
• Saturn pancakes Eddy.
• Armbar.
• Fall forward into a headscissors.
• Eddy tossed into the corner. He fights out.
• Low dropkick. Cover. Two.
• Into the corner, a number of switches, and Saturn hits a t-bone supplex.
• Good match.
• Saturn puts Guerrero's leg on the rope, and he jumps on it.
• Leglock. Eddy gets out with an eye poke.
• Eddy with a belly-to-back supplex.
• Wristlock by Eddy.
• Armlock.
• "Boring" chants start up.
• Saturn lifts Eddy from the armlock position on the mat and supplexes him.
• Nice.
• Asai moonsault by Saturn. Eddy gets the knees up.
• Eddy with a vertical supplex.
• Eddy misses the frog splash.
• Both guys struggle to their feet.
• Saturn with a couple of fists.
• He tries to springboard, and catches a dropkick from Eddy.
• Saturn regains the advantage. He sets Eddy on the top rope.
• Eddy knocks him down, but Saturn crotches him on the top rope.
• Fallaway backdrop by Saturn. Nice.
• Cover. Two.
• Saturn sets Eddy on the top again.
• Eddy flips over.
• He traps Saturn on the top, and locks him in a superplex. Bam!
• Ric Flair comes to the ring with a crowbar.
• He hits Eddy.
• Disqualification. He whacks Eddy with the crowbar.
• Kidman out.
• He catches a shot from the crowbar. Konnan and Rey are apparently at the hospital.
• Torrie out.
• Flair threatens to crowbar her, too.
• But, recognizing his favourite kind of talent, he dances around her and gives her a kiss.
• She smiles. Flair leaves.
  
  
• He returns to ringside and grabs his watch.
• Flair dances to the back.
• And so would I.
• Not a great ending to the match, but what the hell, things got entertaining after the bell rang.

FLASHBACK 1998: CHUCKY THREATENS RICK STEINER,
AND WE'RE STILL WAITING FOR THE LITTLE TURD TO FOLLOW THROUGH

• Vince, if you ever bring back Chucky, I will mail you the contents of my cat's poop box.
• And send it postage due.
• Don't mess with me. I have a cat with a bad bladder.

• Cameras rush to the scene of a fight.
• Goldberg is beating up somebody.
• They're pulled apart.
• It's Sid.
• He's bloodied.
• "Is that all ya got?!?!" he screams.

• Buff Bagwell comes out to explain what happened on Monday Nitro.
• He says he has a problem with the two new "writers."
• That's you, Russo and Ferrara.
• Buff says he wants a piece of Jeff Jarrett.

• Jarrett runs out and gets clotheslined outside.
• They brawl outside.
• I suppose this makes Jarrett the first guy to appear on pay-per-view two weeks in a row.
• Lex Luger comes out with a guitar. (Remember -- someone broke a guitar over Liz's head on Monday)
• Buff holds Jarrett.
• Lex swings. Jarrett ducks. And Buff takes the solid guitar neck to the top of the head, instead of the hollow guitar body.
  
  
• Ouch. The guitar didn't break, but it made a hell of a nasty sound.
• No result announced. Was that a match?

• Vince, I have one word for you: acrylic.
• Everybody I know loves acrylic.

• Sid is shown getting stiches.
• An injured Eddy Guerrero is on the phone, calling Rey back to the arena.

• Armstrong out first.
• Lock up. Berlyn pushes Armstrong into the corner.
• Armstrong switches positions, and catches a fist while the referee tries to break them up.
• Armlocks, switches, Berlyn with a punch.
• "USA" chant.
• Armstrong with an armdrag and a dropkick. Two.
• Berlyn belly-to-back supplex.
• Berlyn with a powerbomb. Two.
• Spinwheel kick.
• Berlyn kicks at him.
• Two.
• Armstrong rolls Berlyn over for two.
• Snap supplex by Berlyn.
• Berlyn misses clotheslines.
• He hits one, and gets a two count.
• Elbow drops.
• They brawl a bit.
• Berlyn is cut on the elbow.
• Berlyn tries the reverse neckbreaker.
• Armstrong hangs onto the rope, Berlyn falls.
• Armstrong with the cover.
• 1-2-3
• Berlyn and the ref attack Armstrong.
• They play Berlyn's music.
• Hey -- he didn't win.

This company, dead
Hoping to catch up Mondays
Just think Vince Russo

• WCW would benefit from a wrestler who adopts the non-violence approach to conflict.
• Passive resistance. Just think about it.

• Tenay talks to Ric Flair.
• Flair says he had his way with the Filthy Animals.
• He promos the strap match, and basically calls Kimbo a slut.

• The champ's out first.
• Steiner follows, wearing a shirt that says "If you don't like me, bite me."
• Rick, why don't you just admit you stole that catchphrase from me? Why?
• Steiner stalls.
• Benoit slides out to get him. Steiner gets in.
• And when Benoit comes back in, he gets pounded.
• Crossface forearms.
• Clothesline by Steiner.
• Punch to the back of the head.
• Impressive backflip toss by Steiner.
• Two.
• Steiner misses the elbowdrop.
• Benoit chops.
• Whip to the corner, Benoit eats Steiner boot.
• Benoit still manages to catch Steiner on the top rope in a superplex.
• Crippler crossface attempt. Steiner dives out of the ring.
• Benoit with a suicide dive. They hit the rail.
• Steiner thrown into the rail. Benoit misses a dive at it.
• Steiner tosses him into the rail again, and then into the steps.
• Back in, Steiner gets two.
• Steiner tosses Benoit into a corner.
• Whip to the corner reversed by Benoit.
• Benoit with two more, and a dropkick. Two.
• Steiner to the floor.
• Steiner in. He pushes the ref into Benoit.
• While the ref is turned around, Steiner nails Benoit in the nuts.
• Steiner with a leglock.
• Another.
• Steiner misses a short clothesline.
• Benoit whips Steiner to the ropes, and misses a dropkick.
• Steiner rubs Benoit's face into the mat. Chokehold.
• Steiner flips Benoit over his head. Looked painful.
• Benoit with a surprise small-package.
• Steiner with punches.
• He hangs Benoit in the corner.
• Steiner kicks Benoit in the head, and paintbrushes him.
• Steiner with a release belly-to-back supplex. Two.
• He slaps around Benoit.
• Another release supplex. Two.
  
  
• Steiner takes his time, and Benoit hits a DDT out of nowhere.
• Steiner gets up, misses a clothesline, and gets shoulderblocked.
• Benoit with chops.
• Benoit locks on the German supplex series. Three of them. Two count.
• Steiner gets up, whips Benoit into the corner, and then the referee into Benoit.
• The ref is out, and Steiner gets a chair.
• Benoit ducks, and nails a t-bone supplex.
• He then slams the chair into Steiner's face.
• Benoit up for the headbutt. On the way down, Steiner throws the chair into Benoit's face.
• Malenko to the ring.
• He picks up the chair, threatens Steiner, and whacks Benoit.
• Malenko puts the ref in the ring. 1-2-3. New champ.
• Saturn comes out, and he embraces Malenko.
• Looks like Benoit will be feuding with the Revolution.
• Well, the booking tonight has been good, so it appears Vince Russo is going in the right direction.
• Hey, he made WWF Raw one of the most compelling shows on television.

DILDOS IN THE RING: CLEAR EVIDENCE OF VINCE RUSSO'S GENIOUS

• How about a WCW worst-gimmick battle royal?
• The Desperadoes, Furface, The Yeti, The Creatures, PN News, Vinnie Vegas, the KISS Demon, Mr. Hole in One...

• Tenay talks to Bret Hart.
• "...excellently executed."
• Blah, blah, blah.

• Hart attack to start the contest.
• They take it outside. Hart bounces the Parcel off the table and the steps.
• Inside. Hart with a low headbutt.
• Punch. It's all Hart so far.
• Rope burn. Punches. Choke.
• Boot to the face.
• Luger down. Hart gets some cheers.
• Hart throws Luger out again.
• He pushes Luger back-first into the apron.
• Liz distracts Hart.
• Hart sees the Parcel coming. He beats on his some more.
• Inside, and the Hart domination continues.
• Finally, Luger goes to the gut and the eyes.
• Elbows by the Parcel.
• Hart up. Punches. Strikes to the kidneys.
• Luger is crawling around.
• Russian leg sweep. Cover. Parcel kicks out.
• Atomic drop. Clothesline.
• Solid match from Hart.
• Pick up into a side backbreaker.
• Hart with a second-rope elbow.
• Two.
• Sharpshooter... almost. Gouge by the Parcel.
• They reverse hiptosses, and fall outside.
• Hart is limping, selling the injury from Nitro.
• Luger rolls in, Hart follows.
• Luger is apparently beaten, but Hart's ankle prevents him from attacking.
  
  
• Hart slumps in the corner.
• Luger pounces, and works over the leg.
• He wraps it around the rope, pulls on it, and then stomps on it.
• Luger with a half-crab.
• Hart taps out!
• Son of a bitch. Wow.
• A match with psychology, strategy -- and a clean finish.

• More of this kind of stuff, Vince.

• He tells Mike Tenay that he's gonna rip Sid's head off.

• She's here to shill cologne, apparently.
  
  
• Heenan says the cologne smells like liquid kitty litter.
• Madusa bitches that Russo and Ferrara made her dress this way, and promote the product.
• She says it's "BULLSHIT!"
• She dumps the contents of the bottle over Heenan and leaves.
• WCW is family entertainment.
• Remember that.

UNABLE TO GET STING OVER AS A HEEL,
WCW SENDS HIM DOOR-TO-DOOR TO BEAT UP KIDS

• Er... it's 9:47 EST. There should be an hour to go...
• Hogan's music starts. Introduction.
• ...and it appears he's not coming out.
• Sting's music starts, and he does come out.
• So, they're playing up the Hogan work/shoot angle here.
• The announcers play up Hogan's tardiness.
• Hogan's music starts again. He's introduced -- again.
• After a big delay, he comes out in black.
• He jaws with Sting a bit.
• He says something to the ref, and he just... lays down.
• Sting covers.
• 1-2-3
  
  
• The crowd's pissed.
• Heh.
• This is a dream come true.
• Wow. The booking has been good tonight, no?

• At Mayhem next month, you should have a barefoot Hogan come to the ring and put a loaded shotgun in his mouth.
• Talk about a dream come true!

• Okay. We're not even two hours into the show. Isn't this the main event?
• Sid out first. His face is bloodied from the attack shown earlier.
• Heenan says Sid didn't have to come out because of the pre-match no-touch stipulation, but he did anyway.
• Goldberg makes his way to the ring with his security escort.
• The escort does no damn good, however, as Scott Hall and Kevin Nash attack!
• Sid takes advantage, and beats on Goldberg.
• They battle back to the ring.
• Goldberg slams Sid into the ring steps.
• Goldberg pounds him in the head. Sid invites Goldberg to hit him more.
• Sid ducks down. Blade job? Yup.
• More punches.
• Sid fights back.
• Wow. He's actually booked as a badass, and not a coward.
• In the ring, Sid clubbers Goldberg.
• Camel clutch.
• Sid's juicing good.
• Goldberg picks up Sid from the camel clutch position, and drops him on his back.
• Close two.
• Goldberg twists Sid's head.
• Sid won't stay down.
• The ref checks Sid.
• Goldberg pounds away.
• Sid tries to fight back.
• Goldberg chokes him.
• Clothesline. Elbow. Cover. Sid kicks out.
• Goldberg hammers Sid some more, and checks the blood on his hands.
  
  
• Sid won't stay down.
• Goldberg taunts Sid.
• Sid punches away, but Goldberg won't be denied.
• The ref asks Sid if he wants to quit.
• Goldberg keeps pounding away. Sid can't defend himself effectively.
• The ref stops the match on bleeding. And believe it or not, they did such a good job selling the beating, it's a satisfying ending.
• Rick Steiner comes out to help Sid.
• Sid gets up, groggy. He wants more. Steiner gets him to leave.
• Goldberg is given the belt, but he doesn't look too happy at the way he won.
• A dazed Sid nearly gets to the back, but decides to start walking to the ring again.
• Steiner makes him rethink that. Sid goes to the dressing room.
• Good ending. Sid lost, but still looked kick-ass tough.

• I'm running out of material.
• Don't let it happen to you.

• Before the match, Sting comes out, and says he didn't come to Las Vegas for a night off.
• Loud pop.
• He throws out an open challenge and says he'll return to the ring later.
• DDP and Kimmy out first.
• Flair's next. DDP leaves the ring.
• Internet rumour of the week: this will be Flair's final match.
• Your ref is Little Naitch, Charles Robinson.
• Flair puts on the strap.
• DDP stalls.
• DDP grabs the strap and enters.
• They brawl in the corner.
• Chop by you-know-who.
• Flair with the strap.
• DDP rolls out. Flair rolls out on a different side, and he yanks DDP into the post.
• Flair whips DDP up the aisle.
• DDP gets the advantage, and he dumps Flair into the crowd.
• Flair into the railing.
• Through the crowd now.
• Flair chops DDP up some stairs.
• Strap to the back. To the chest. DDP responds in kind.
• Flair chokes DDP with the strap.
• They come back to ringside.
• Flair grabs Kimbo and gives her a kiss.
• The old man is doing okay in the Russo era...
• DDP gets the advantage and tosses Flair around.
• Flair's busted open.
• DDP stomps him down.
• Flair leaves a puddle of blood on the safety mats outside the ring.
  
  
• DDP beats on him some more, and puts him on the table.
• He straps Flair and works the crowd. They chant for more.
• Punches by DDP.
• Back in the ring.
• Two. DDP's pissed at the ref.
• Flair crotches DDP.
• He straps him. Kimbo cringes.
  
  
• In the corner, Flair straps him.
• Schiavone says something that makes sense: "Vintage Ric Flair."
• Clothesline by the Nature Baby Boomer.
• He follows with a great kneedrop.
• DDP's leg is draped on the rope. Flair does the hard sit down.
• Flair with a chop-block.
• Some idiot yells "boring."
• Buddy, you don't have a clue.
• Flair with the figure four.
• DDP's shoulders are down. Two.
• Flair hammers DDP in the head repeatedly.
• DDP with a pair of headbutts to the groin.
• DDP rubs the strap into Flair's face.
• He wraps the strap around Flair's neck.
• Diamond cutter.
• Robinson counts. 1-2-um... Robinson hesitates.
• DDP gives Robinson the death stare, and Robinson rings the bell. DDP wins.
• DDP smacks Robinson.
• David Flair out with the crowbar.
• Kimbo stops him, crotches him, and DDP takes the crowbar.
• He nails Flair in the groin with it.
  
  
• The crowd lets out a sympathetic groan.
• DDP gives Davey Flair two diamond cutters.
• EMTs come out to assist the Flairs.
• Ric is put in a neck brace, and on the stretcher.
• Davey and Robinson are crying.
• Hmm... could this be the way Flair goes into semi-retirement?
• The EMTs take Flair through the back to a waiting ambulance, and the Filthy Animals attack!
• They beat Flair, and load him into the ambulance.
• They drive away...

• He wants to know who will face him.
• The crowd chants "Goldberg."
• They pop, and out he comes.

• Charles Robinson runs out, and we have a match.
• Into the corner, Goldberg knees and kicks Sting.
• Goldberg pounds on the champ.
• Outside.
• Goldberg slams Sting into the table.
• He whips him into the rail.
• Goldberg goes for a clothesline, and he hits the ringpost.
• Inside, Sting with an elbow.
• Off the top with a splash, Sting gets two.
  
  
• Sting spears Goldberg!
• Goldberg leaps to his feet, and delivers a crescent kick!
• He tries to spear Sting in the corner, but Sting moves, and Goldberg hits the ringpost.
• Sting with a Stinger splash.
• Another!
• And another!
• Goldberg slumps down.
• Sting whips Goldberg into the ropes, and misses a clothesline.
• Sting off the ropes, Goldberg leapfrogs him -- and then nails the spear.
• Sting locked in position for the jackhammer.
• Can he get out?
• No.
• Jackhammer.
• 1-2-3
  
  
• New World champion.
• I suppose that means his newly-won US title will be up for grabs now.
• The fans eat it up as Goldberg celebrates.
• Sting rolls out, rests, and then he rolls back in.
• Sting argues with the ref.
• And he gives him a reverse DDT in protest.

• Nicely done.

• Remember: gorgeous, horny lesbians. Mix in a bit of tapioca pudding, and voila! big-time ratings.