WCW Monday Nitro - October 18th, 1999

WCW Monday Nitro - October 18^th, 1999

Philadelphia, PA

By Wade

So that's why they put those little symbols on the screen...so I can tell the shows apart

A quick little peek into the mailbag.
- We get three different views on La Parka's trunks:
  - Drew K. writes:
    
    According to two English to Spanish translators, "timbonas" isn't a word. Maybe it's one of those proper nouns that they don't capitalize in Spanish (along with days of the week and months).
  - Nathan writes:
    
    Hey, You didn't get La Parka's trunks? They said "Solo Para Timbonas", meaning "Only For Fat-Ones". What ever that means in beyond me. I guess he's into fat chicks?
  - Joel writes:
    
    I asked a native Spanish speaking friend of mine what the message on La Parka's outfit "Solo Para Timbonas" means. She said it means "Only for Girls."
- Phil S. notes:
  
  I really don't care for Larry "The Living Legend" Nabisco but he had a classic line on Monday Nitro. When the announcers were talking about Torrie Wilson, Larry said, "Nothing that a Platinum Card can't buy".
  I hope you heard it and within the context it was used in because it was a great line and I can't do it justice but it was ever so true!
- Finally, reader Terry B. has a favor to ask. He has every Nitro on tape, but didn't get last week's show. So if anyone has a tape of last week's Nitro, he'll pay $15-20 for it. Email him if you can help.
A DDT Digest "Shout Out" to UNIX Guru and Fruit Booty First-Class Fred Newton who is in attendance live in Philly tonight. May God have mercy on your soul.
We open up with the WCW logo
A black limo pulls up
- We're TV-PG (DLSV) tonight.
- Some schmoes in suits, and Sid Squeegee in a suit, get out of the limo.
- Mmm....lawyer angle....
And we're LIVE from my old stomping grounds of Philadelphia, PA, for WCW Monday Nitro!
Match 1: Juventud Guerrera vs. Evan Karagias
- We actually open up with a match!
- It's Juventud Guerrera.
- His opponent - Evan Karagias.
- Evan starts off, but eats a shoulderblock.
- Evan with a hiptoss and a dropkick, and he clotheslines Juvi over the top.
- Juvi slowly comes back into the ring, and opens up on Evan with chops.
- Evan avoids a corner charge, but eats boot when he tries his own.
- Juvi with some headscissors.
- Juvi flies off the top with a bodypress.
- Bret Hart plays Sid and enters the ring with a mic.
- Hart says when he arrived, he was told he couldn't have time for an interview, so he made time for himself.
- He says he left the WWF for one reason - he came to WCW to fight Hulk Hogan and win the world title.
- Mmmm....the "all shoot" edition.
- Hart talks about WCW telling him that his match against Hogan will never happen.
- Cubs Fan: Wow, took them 6 minutes to say "Screw Cruiserweights". New record for Vince and Ed.
- Sting makes his way down the aisle.
- Sting has to motion to cut the music.
- Sting offers for Hart to join the real world, and says "Promises do not come true in this business."
- They bleep "screwed".
- Sting offers to do something for Hart, and offers him a shot at the world title tonight.
- Hart leaves the ring.
- So much for those pesky "matches."
We go to Dinky and the Brain in the announce booth.
- Tony talks about Russo/Ferrera making their Nitro debut tonight.
- Sigh. They've already brought in the Most Useless Match in Wrestling, the Evening Gown Match. F***. Good thing they're not reusing ideas from the WWF, huh?
Mike Tenay is in the back with Suited Sid.
- Sid starts to rant, but the lawyers cut him off.
- Sid says he was advised not to say anything.
We see Goldberg getting out of his limo.
Sid talks about the stip that Goldberg was not to touch him.
Match 2: Vampiro vs. WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Disco Inferno
- Vampiro comes out with an ICP jacket on.
- His opponent - Disco Inferno.
- Lash LeRoux comes out for commentary.
- Disco is distracted, and Vampiro kicks him in the back of the head.
- Lash's accent isn't very good.
- Vampiro continues to put a whoopin' on Disco.
- Vampiro misses a twisting senton off the top, and then eats the Chartbuster!
- Disco pins Vampiro in like a minute!
- Lash goes into the ring, attacks Disco from behind.
- Lash hits the Whiplash on Disco, and leaves.
- Welcome to "Short Attention Span Theatre"
Larry Zbyszko interviews Goldberg in the back
- Goldberg says that Sid will feel the Jackhammer in six days.
- So Mike Tenay is now Michael Cole and Zbyszko is Michael Hayes.
More from Golddust and his weird, wild, wacky window.
- Dustin: "WCW - Fear me you will, stop me you will not."
- He's not a phantom, he's Yoda!
Madusa says she doesn't enjoy tearing women's clothes off
- She says she's professional, and she won't walk out in an evening gown.
- She says there probably won't even be a match, and she's through.
Nitro Girls search
- The do their normal blather.
- Buff Bagwell's music comes on.
- Buff tells the ladies to step aside and enjoy the scenery.
- Buff - there are two new sheriffs in town, and they think I'm the stuff.
- Buff says he's the chosen one, and asks Gene if he's been reading the Internet, and says he's going to take WCW to the promised land.
- Buff tells Gene to step aside, and dances a bit.
Michael Hayes is interviewing Mona
- Mona says she's ready to do whatever it takes to win the match.
- She says that while she's never had an evening gown match, she's won plenty of matches while wearing an evening gown.
- Mmmmm.....so sweet....
Kimberly is in the back, looking for David Flair.
Promo for Havoc.
More of Sid Talking, and Goldberg Wrapping.
Match 3: Rey Mysterio Jr. and Konnan vs. WCW World Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat
- This is the Mayhem Match of the Week.
- Rey Mysterio Jr. and Gonnad come out to vie for the tag belts.
- Gonnad hits the Catchphrases of Dumb.
- Gonnad's gonna thrive in the new World Catchphrase Wrestling.
- Saint Stevie has a toothpick in effect, and Booker is wearing short trunks.
- Maybe Booker should put on some shorts or something, if he's going to keep fighting evil today.
- Rey-Rey and St. Stevie start out.
- Stevie levels Rey with a back-elbow.
- HUGE backdrop from Stevie.
- Rey slides between the legs, does the spin-through-the-ropes, and gets clotheslined over the top rope.
- Kidman and Eddy Guerrero come down the aisle with Torrie Wilson.
- Gonnad tags in and DDTs Booker.
- Rey hits a Lionsault.
- Gonnad with the rolling clothesline, but Stevie blocks the Tequila Sunrise.
- Booker hits a Rock Bottom.
- Booker with the scissor kick as Eddy and Kidman talk about how hot Torrie is.
- Why is RAW on TNT?
- The First Family is watching the match in the back.
- Stevie applies a bearhug to Gonnad.
- Kidman: "[The First Family] needs to be talking about their diet."
- Stevie with a backbreaker.
- Booker with a running forearm on Gonnad.
- Booker with a kick.
- Double-suplex from the champs.
- Stevie with a sloppy front-chancery.
- Yakuza kick from Stevie.
- Stevie intimidates Rey-Rey to the corner.
- Stevie powerslams Gonnad, but Rey-Rey makes the save.
- Rey comes in, and gets dumped.
- Booker fights with Kidman and Eddy on the outside.
- Rey springboards for his cannonball, but Stevie catches him.
- Gonnad trips Stevie, and Rey-Rey falls on top of him.
- Rey covers, and Gonnad holds the legs, and the ref counts the pin. New tag team champions.
Kimberly approaches David Flair in the back, and sticks her breasts out at him
- She tells David that she doesn't think he's ever had a woman like Kimberly.
- She says DDP is out of town, and she's lonely.
- She's in room 801 in the Marriott, and gives him a room key.
Mike Cole Tenay interviews the Filthy Animals in the back.
- Jimmy Hart, Knobbs, and Morrus, come out and demand the title shot.
- Gonnad tells them to bow down and get in line.
Match 4: Meng vs. Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart)
- It's the Munster Meng!
- Big Pants == Ratings.
- His opponent - Hugh G. Rection.
- Morrus opens up, but makes the mistake of headbutting Meng.
- Mengerline.
- Morrus goes to the eyes.
- Morrus with a spinwheel kick (!) that Meng no-sells (surprise).
- Morrus with an avalanche, and chops in the corner.
- Meng no-sells and chops Morrus down.
- They go into a boxing match.
- Meng beats Morrus down in the corner.
- The Outsiders come down the aisle again.
- Morrus hits another avalanche, and slams Meng.
- Morrus goes up top slowly, and hits a big elbow.
- Morrus taunts Meng, and goes back up top.
- Morrus hits another elbow.
- Hart wants Morrus to pin Meng.
- Morrus talks to Hart, allowing Meng to pop right up and apply the Tongan Death Grip for the pin.
- Sigh.
It's Sid and the lawyers! They're WALKING!!!!
It's Goldberg! He's WALKING!!!!
Sears Sid walks to the ring
- HE'S GOT A PIECE OF PAPER!!!! First a squeegee, then scissors, then popcorn, now this! RUN!!!!!!!!
- He calls out the lawyers.
- Sid rambles.
- Sid rips up the Halloween Havoc contract.
- Goldberg charges the ring.
- Goldberg spears an attorney.
- Sid kicks Goldberg in the head.
- Sid powerbombs Goldberg.
- The lawyer no-sold worse than Meng!
- Sid says that at Halloween Havoc, he'll kick Goldberg's ass.
- The Outsiders taunt Goldberg, so he punches them. Security separates the three.
- Security escorts the Outsiders, er, outside.
- Hall: "What a Buzzkiller." Syxx's finisher?
- Guess what. They're walking.
- We see the replay of Goldberg spearing the lawyer, and the lawyer's lucky he didn't break his neck. He hit it hard on the ropes.
Bret Hart talks about his title shot.
- Sting attacks, and they brawl.
When we come back, Hall and Nash are still in the parking lot.
- Security won't let them in.
Goldberg WALKS through the back to find Sid.
Match 5: Berlyn (w/Bodyguard) vs. Rick Steiner
- Berlyn makes his way out.
- His opponent - the no-selling monster, Rick Steiner?
- This is an odd matchup.
- Berlyn gets the early advantage.
- Steiner charges out of the corner with a Steinerline.
- Steiner rams Berlyn gut-first into the turnbuckles, and clotheslines him to the floor.
- Brad Armstrong runs in to face Berlyn, but Steiner grabs him.
- The Bodyguard goes to chair Armstrong, but Armstrong moves, and Steiner eats the chair.
- Berlyn quickly covers Steiner for the pin.
- Armstrong apologizes to Steiner, who gets up choking him.
- Steiner tosses Armstrong, and beats him to the back.
- Sigh.
Hall and Nash re-enter the building, and Nash has the COUGH MEDICINE OF DOOM!!! FEAR THE EXPECTORANT!!!
We see Kimberly walking through her hotel.
Kim strips to her underclothes, but it's RIC Flair in the hotel.
Goldberg finds the ICP in the back. They aren't anxious to point him toward Sid, so he beats them up.
Zbyszko talks to TP
- TP seems scared.
- TP talks about all he's done.
- TP gets scared of Goldberg, and leaves.
We see Mona getting into her evening gown, while Madusa thinks about hers.
- Madusa starts to pack her things.
Match 6: David Flair vs. Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson)
- David avoids a corner charge, and then gives Kidman the worst shoulderblock in the corner in the history of our great sport. It was on the order of the infamous Erik Watts dropkick.
- David suplexes Kidman.
- Flair with a takeover for two.
- Kidman dropkicks Flair.
- Backdrop suplex from Kidman, followed by a second-rope legdrop for two.
- Torrie gets on the apron, and reveals HER underdrawers to David.
- Kidman hits the Rydeen Bomb, and then lands the Shooting Star Press for the pin.
- Flair catches a knee to the face from the move.
- The Animals come down to the ring.
- The Animals beat down David 4-on-1.
Hall and Nash are WALKING!!!
Ric Flair is back in the arena, looking discheveled
Match 7: Evening Gown Match: Mona (w/me bowing to her) vs. Madusa
- Hey Mona - I'm single.
- Madusa comes out in a "Tommy Sports" dress.
- Madusa's looking quite trailer-trash tonight.
- Madusa shoves Mona twice, and kicks her in the gut.
- Mona with a clothesline, and a snap-suplex.
- Mona goes up top, and hits a cross-body, but Madusa rolls through.
- Madusa with a snap suplex of her own.
- I'm suddenly craving cottage cheese.
- Madusa with a legsplitter.
- Madusa slaps Mona.
- Madusa punches Mona in the gut, and hits a spin kick in the corner.
- Mona ducks a kick, and Madusa nails the ref.
- Madusa hits the German Suplex.
- Madusa brings a chair in, and hits Mona.
- Madusa rants to the announcers, allowing Mona to strip her of her dress.
- I suppose it's Mona with the win.
- Mona quickly walks to the back.
- Madusa rants about the match, and tells "everybody behind here" to kiss her ass.
Guess what Sting's doing in the back?
Match 8: Bret Hart vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion Sting
- Hart comes in first.
- Now the champ.
- Hart attacks at the bell.
- Sting sells for Hart, unlike Flair.
- Sting gets dumped to the floor.
- Hart introduces Sting to the announce table, and works the lower back.
- Hart continues the advantage.
- Hart chokes Sting.
- Sting starts the comeback.
- Sting takes it to the floor.
- Hart regains the advantage with a clothesline and elbowdrop.
- Hart drops Sting with a DDT.
- Swinging neckbreaker from Hart.
- Hart lands a vertical suplex.
- Sting reverses a corner whip, and hits one of his own.
- Stinger Splash.
- Sting chokes Hart with his boot, and crotches him around the ringpost.
- Sting applies a chinlock.
- Hart eats a knee to the gut.
- Sting drops an elbow.
- He drops a leg, too.
- They trade punches, and Sting hits an inverted atomic drop.
- Hart avoids a dropkick, and drops a series of elbows.
- Hart with a corner whip, and hits a headbutt.
- Hart piledrives Sting for two.
- Hart stomps Sting in the gut.
- Hart turns Sting over in the Sharpshooter, but Sting makes it to the ropes.
- Hart continues the punishment, and hits a pendulum backbreaker.
- Sting goes to the eyes.
- Sting goes for a suplex, but Hart falls on him for two.
- Sting with a sleeper. Hart escapes with a backdrop suplex.
- Sting recovers to go up top, but Hart gets his knees up on the top-rope splash.
- Elizabeth is at ringside.
- Hart hits the Russian legsweep.
- Hart with the second-rope forearm.
- TP makes his way down with a baseball bat.
- Hart intercepts TP.
- TP whacks Hart in the shin with the bat.
- Sting grabs Hart, and applies the Scorpion Deathlock. Hart taps immediately.
- Sting retains the title.
In the back, Ric Flair is yelling at David Flair
- David says that Billy Kidman beat him up.
- Flair won't believe it.
- Flair is livid.
Hall and Nash steal the Villano masks and they are walking!!!
Match 9: La Parka vs. Buff Bagwell
- Yes! The Chairman!
- This will continue the Buff/Parka "feud" from Thunder.
- Buff doesn't come out dancing.
- Buff is saying it's time to go.
- Buff shoves Parka off, and looks bored.
- Parka with an armbar.
- Buff reverses with an armtwist.
- Buff applies a lazy headlock.
- Buff shoulderblocks Parka down, and hiptosses him.
- Buff relaxes in the corner.
- Parka opens up on Buff.
- Buff avoids a corner charge, but gets hotshotted to the turnbuckle.
- Buff drop-toeholds Parka into the buckles.
- Buff does a lazy version of his dance, and signals for Parka to hit him in the back of the head.
- Parka hits an enzuigiri, and covers Buff for the win!
- Buff immediately pops back up, looking bored.
- In the back, wrestlers are applauding Parka.
- Buff gets the headset and says "Russo, did I do a good job for you? Who else do you want to beat me?"
- Buff goes back into the ring and lays down.
- Buff walks around as Jeff Jarrett runs down and brains Buff with a guitar.
- Douba-J talks about wrestling on a PPV last night.
- Jarrett grabs his crotch and says "I got your stroke right here."
Bill: So, if David Copperfield did an entire show that explains how he does his tricks, his career would be over, right?
Hall and Nash are wearing the Villanos masks in an effort to get past security. Nash pukes off camera.
Match 10: Triangle Match: Eddy Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Perry Saturn
- The Guerreros are in the ring, and Saturn on the apron, as we come back to action.
- Shane Douglas joins the announce booth.
- Douglas talks about building wrestling in Philadelphia.
- Douglas continues to talk about the Revolution.
- Eddy and Chavo shake hands.
- Saturn and Eddy want each other.
- Chavo with a quick rollup on Eddy for two.
- Saturn with a head-and-arm suplex on Chavito.
- Eddy with a frankensteiner on Saturn, and a tilt-a-whirl on Chavo.
- Saturn T-Bones Eddy.
- Saturn with a lionsault on Eddy's legs. Chavo makes the save.
- Chavo with a cross-body off the top. Eddy makes the save.
- Chavo gets a Northern Lights suplex on Saturn. Eddy saves.
- Eddy suplexes Chavo to the floor.
- Saturn hits Eddy with a superkick.
- Saturn with an armbar.
- Chavo bides his time on the floor.
- Saturn hotshots Eddy, and goes up top.
- Saturn goes to the floor against Chavito.
- Eddy flies over the top onto Saturn.
- All three brawl on the floor, with Chavo getting the worst of it.
- Chavo with a double-clothesline on both men back in the ring.
- Saturn with a springboard forearm on Chavo.
- Eddy goes up top.
- Chavo catches him up top.
- Saturn goes to the second rope, and puts Chavo up on his shoulders.
- They hit a NASTY looking assisted superplex.
- The rest of the Animals come down to jaw at Shane.
- Saturn vaults over the top into a chair that Kidman's holding.
- Chavo nuts Eddy from behind.
- Shane starts ranting.
- Chavo suplexes Saturn into the ring, and Eddy comes off the top with the Frog Splash onto Saturn for the pin. Saturn is eliminated!
- Chavo comes off the top with a SWEET tornado DDT on Eddy, and gets the pin!
- Chavo wins the match!
- The Animals kick Chavo out of the ring, and attend to Eddy.
Tonight: TP vs. Goldberg.
WCW Mayhem Halloween Havoc password: td^pKRmZ-
Match 11: Hardcore Match: Horace Hogan vs. Norman Smiley
- The Hardcore division is back.
- Horace comes out first.
- His opponent: Norman Smiley???
- Horace attacks Smiley in the aisle.
- Norman begs off of a trash can spot, but Horace nails him with it.
- Norman screams.
- Short-arm clothesline from Horace.
- Norman begs off.
- Norman gets his feet up on a charge with the trash can.
- Norman continues to scream and cry.
- Horace continues the beating.
- Norman reverses a whip into the steps.
- Norman gets on the stairs, teases the SMBU, and gets a low blow.
- Horace hotshots Smiley into the rail, and hits him with the steps.
- Smiley gets chaired again.
- Horace puts Smiley up top, and superplexes him.
- Smiley cries some more.
- Horace only gets two.
- Horace brings out a table.
- Horace props the table up in the corner.
- Norman avoids a chairshot, and slumps against the table.
- Horace charges, and Smiley moves!
- Horace puts HIMSELF through the table.
- Norman stares at the unconcious Horace, and prods him with his foot.
- Norman covers, and gets the pin!
- Norman celebrates by smacking his bitch up.
Ric Flair makes his way down
- Flair talks smack about Eric Lindross.
- Flair says that the Animals piss him off.
- Sign: "Hey Ric, keep your clothes on."
- Flair talks about his 27 years in the sport.
- Flair says that David just needs to be left alone, and he'll make it on his own.
- Flair challenges the Animals right now.
- Kidman leads the Animals out. All four beat up Ric.
- David Flair tries to make the save, but gets beat down, too.
- The Animals strip Ric.
- The Animals model Flair's clothes and jewelry.
- Torrie playfully slaps David with a shoe.
TP finds Liz laid out in the back, with a broken guitar around her head.
- Jeff Jarrett, woman-beater? THAT'S a new angle.
Match 12: Bill Goldberg vs. The Total Package
- Goldberg gets the first entrance?
- TP comes out solo.
- They start to brawl in the aisle.
- Goldberg starts the beatdown on TP.
- Goldberg's trunks say "Team Obake" on them.
- TP gains the advantage in the ring.
- Goldberg no-sells a suplex.
- TP eats a superkick.
- Goldberg with a clothesline.
- Short-arm clothesline.
- Goldberg kicks TP down.
- TP avoids a spear.
- TP pounds on Goldberg.
- TP slams Goldberg for two.
- Goldberg starts to Hulk up in the corner, and comes out of a corner whip with a flying shoulderblock.
- Powerslam from Goldberg.
- TP whips Goldberg into the ref.
- Hall and Nash come out, swigging cough syrup.
- TP and Goldberg brawl on the floor.
- Sting runs down and hits Goldberg in the back with a baseball bat.
- Bret Hart limps down to ringside, steals the bat from Sting, and goes to work on him.
- Hart swings at Sting, but Sting ducks and Hart breaks the bat on the corner post.
- Hart puts Sting in the Sharpshooter.
- TP breaks the hold, and goes to rack Hart.
- Goldberg spears Luger, and Jackhammers him.
- The ref counts the pin. Goldberg wins.
- Hart and Goldberg celebrate as we fade to black....
Well, Day One of WCW - The Next Generation pretty much blew large hairy goats. You'd think that WCW was sponsored by Richard Simmons with all the footage of people walking that we saw. I don't think the new creative team showed me that they had any new ideas that they hadn't already used in the WWF. Evening gown matches, Jeff Jarrett - Woman Beater, brief matches, and so forth.
Whatever.

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