WCW Thunder - Wednesday, July 14, 1999

By Bill

Well, this was the highlight

Trivia Question: What do Rocky Maivia and Chavo Guerrero, Jr. have in common? (answer at the end of the report)
The mailbag:
- Granville (don't call me Master) P. shares an experience with us (sorry, I'm pretty late posting this...):
  I wrote you last December, sending along a report of a House Show we had down here (Nashville).. And today, tickets went on sale for a house show on July 23^rd, but as an added bonus, Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Bobby Duncum Jr., and Kendall Windham were at the arena today to shoot the music video for "Rap is Crap". Basically, Jimmy Hart herded anyone that wanted to appear up to a stage setup they had, they passed out some "Rap is Crap Tour '99" t-shirts, Nitro hats, and some nWo shirts to people. I didn't get one but, hey, no hard feelings.
  Then they started filming some shots of us (the crowd) screaming at the empty stage while "Rap is Crap" played through the speakers.. After a while of this, they brought out the "band". Then they had them walk offstage and had three of the local radio stations introduce the band. This took a bit of time as they would introduce them, Hennig and crew would get on stage, leave, then have another radio station personality introduce them.. The first time they introduced them as "Curt Hennig and the Rodeos!" Then I guess they decided against that name and did it again three times as "Curt Hennig and the West Texas Trio" then they didn't like that so it was changed to "Curt Hennig and the West Texas Rednecks" They looped the tape a few more times with Hennig and Crew lipsynching and "playing" along (Side note: Bobby Duncum picked up the guitar before they started and it surprised me, he could really play)
  Well, anyway, after they had enough on film, they did little one-on-one interviews with people. One guy in front of me doing his said "Master P Sucks!!" and Jimmy Hart told him WCW wouldn't let "sucks" be on the air and for him to say something else.. There were some pretty good lines in a couple of places.. Mine was "If there's anything worse on this Earth than rap I haven't found it yet!", so watch for me. heh.
  After that, I went for autographs. I got Bobby Duncum's and Barry Windham's. Curt Hennig was pretty much mobbed, and Kendall seemed to have disappeared.
  Well, anyway, they said it should air either this Monday or next Monday.. Me? I'm willing to bet they just wait to show it on Thunder this week, that's my luck.. So anyway hope this has been interesting..
Last week I commented on how I mistyped the name of a popular website and a porno site came up. You wouldn't believe how much e-mail I got from people saying the same thing has happened to them.
The WWW is a scary place, indeed.
I forgot in last week's report to predict how much the Piper/Bagwell boxing match at the PPV was going to suck.
Simple rule, folks. Rounds and wrestling don't mix. Piper vs. Mr. T at Wrestlemania II, the entire AWF...you get the idea.
Well, it's official. This Monday, for the first time, there were more Nielsen families watching a test pattern than watching Nitro.
Seriously, though, if you ever wonder what I'm doing at 9:00 p.m. EDT on Monday night, I've got my head out the upstairs window with my hand cupped to my ear ala Hulk Hogan, listening to the remote controls all over America clicking over to the USA Network.
For those of you that care about such things, Wade is taking next Monday off and Aldo will be covering for him. As a result, I'm covering Thunder tonight and Dan will be covering Thunder next week.
The newsboards are saying that the Lambda Alliance angle with Lenny Lane and Lodi is being dropped. Well, I called that one. I think that's the first time that I've gone out on a limb with a prediction that actually came true.
The newsboards are reporting that the "who was driving the Humvee?" angle is being dropped. I don't know why they are dropping it, as there is an easy way to bring it to a logical conclusion. The Humvee driver was the same who was attacking nWo members in parking lot and attacked Arn Anderson in the hospital the night before his surgery. This same person was also DDP's benefactor.
I have to sound like a whiner on this but, sorry, I'm a stickler for logically sensible storylines. I grew up on Star Trek and am an amateur "nitpicker" that picks out discontinuities. Granted, Star Trek had plenty, but at least they attempted to keep them together.
Well, at least unlike Spock, Bischoff will probably never refer to something being "one to the eighteenth power".
While we're on the subject of what the newsboards are saying, here's a prediction I made before and I'm still sticking to. Regardless of what you read, no way, no how, is Arn Anderson going to get in the ring and wrestle a real wrestling match again.
If you haven't noticed, the taglines and pictures on the main page are now rotating as I finally got server-side includes working and I found a freeware Perl script to generate the random HTML. I'm going to do a little poking around and see if I can come up with some other neat things I can do with Perl.
By the way, don't keep doing "reload". I promise I will never take a tag or picture away. I'll only add, so you WILL get to see them all eventually. If you keep reloading and see them all now, they'll be no reason for coming back. :-)
In an attempt to get through this taped Thunder, as if I were Scott Hall I've actually started drinking before the show starts. As of 8:00 p.m. EDT, I'm close to finishing my first beer.
I don't know what's worse...the ER reruns before Nitro, or the Roseanne reruns before Thunder. Probably the latter, because at least some of the people on ER are easy on the eyes.
We're ~~live~~ taped from Birmingham, AL.
El Vampiro Canadianese vs. Van Hammer
- The announcers are talking about Hogan's return as if it were the second coming of Christ.
- Lock up, slam by Hammer.
- Arm drag by Vampiro. Another.
- Full nelson by Hammer, Vampiro backs him into the corner.
- Kick by Vampiro out of the corner, and Vampiro spin kicks Hammer out of the ring.
- Slingshot out of the ring by Vampiro onto Hammer on the apron.
- Hammer tosses Vampiro into the safety rails, slams him outside, and gets some kicks in.
- Back in the ring, Hammer with kicks and punches.
- Vampiro with a punch, but Hammer hits an atomic drop and then a Mafia kick.
- Clubbing blows by Hammer and a choke. Hammer then works on Vampiro in the corner. Toss off top turnbuckle by Hammer and choke on top rope.
- Vampiro comes back with some kicks. Loud backhand chop by Vampiro.
- Vampiro goes to work with kicks and punches. Snapmare, and a kick to the back.
- Hammer brings Hammer down and Hammer scores a elbow, choke, and a boot to the windpipe.
- Vampiro turns an attempted slam into an inside cradle for two.
- Vampiro with a choke slam! Two-count only.
- Vampiro with a twisting corkscrew from the top turnbuckle, but misses.
- Hammer with an attempted pin. Two-count.
- Clothesline in the corner by Hammer and a slam. Two-count.
- Kicks and chops traded.
- Hammer with a reverse chinlock on the mat.
- As Hammer tries to add some blows, Vampiro with a shot to the 'nads.
- Hammer with a big comeback and a weak slam.
- Hammer attempts a cobra clutch slam, but Vampiro gets out.
- Vampiro with a cross-body block from the top. Two-count only.
- Advantage exchanged, and Vampiro gets a roll-up for a three-count!
- Your winner: El Vampiro Canadianese via pinfall
- Hammer, incensed, beats on Vampiro after the match.
- Well, Vampiro won, but I had to watch Van Hammer, so it's time for beer number two.
"Big" Rick Fuller vs. Sick Boy
- Hey, where's Rick Fuller been? He may not make that much of an impression, but if you take a good look, he is a really big guy.
- Sick Boy is bleaching his hair now, but he really looks like Stevie Richards.
- Punches, kicks, missed moves. Sigh. I'll give them credit, though. When the move is totally missed, at least the other guy isn't selling it.
- Anyway, back to the match. Slam by Fuller. Sick Boy turns an attempted Samoan Drop into a Sunset Flip for two.
- They go to the floor, and Fuller administers a further beating.
- Sick Boy with a very short comeback, but Fuller hits a big kick and goes back to work.
- Crowd chants "Boring". Fuller tells the crowd to shut their collective mouths.
- Tenay is all excited about Bischoff's announcements about Rodman and Insane Clown Posse. *sigh*
  That earned another swig.
- By the way, Fuller is still taking apart Sick Boy.
- Sick Boy makes a comeback and hits his patented springboard back elbow for two.
- Spin kick by Sick Boy gets him another two-count.
- The crowd is still chanting "boring".
- Sick Boy goes up top to hit a move and turns his back to Fuller. Big Mistake.
- Fuller grabs Sick Boy off the top turnbuckle and slams him down to get the pin.
- Your winner: "Big" Rick Fuller via pinfall
On WCWSN this week: Horace, Booker T, Eddie Guerrero, Kidman, and Regal/Finlay/Taylor
Steve Regal, Fit Finlay and Dave Taylor vs. B.A., Chase Tatum and Swill (w/4x4)
- *drink*
- Replay of Finlay losing his trophy.
- Tatum vs. Finlay to start.
- Advantage is exchanged a few times. Some hard-hitting stuff.
- Taylor is tagged in and maintains the advantage. Regal is tagged in.
- Tatum tags Swill in and Swill, in something like his second match, takes out all three guys. *drink*
- Swill tags Arachnaman in. Arachnaman shucks and jives around the ring (*drink*), and we go to commercial.
- Regal gets the initial advantage on Badstreet, but Badstreet comes back with some classic wrestling moves.
- Badstreet gets tossed into the heels corner and Taylor is tagged in.
- Taylor takes Mr. R apart.
- Regal is tagged in, and he gets a few moves in. Finlay is tagged in.
- Finlay hits something like the hundredth European uppercut of the match.
- Finlay hits the running shoulder in the corner, but he goes to the well once too often, and there's nobody home.
- The heels take advantage of B.A. (B.A. is officially now the face-in-peril), and Regal is tagged in.
- B.A. fights his way out, but Taylor is tagged in before B.A. can tag out.
- Taylor does some beating, and he tags Finlay in. Finlay with the rear chinlock and some clubbing blows.
- B.A. gets a sunset flip out of nowhere for two.
- Finlay tags Taylor in, and Taylor goes to the rear chinlock.
- Regal is tagged in. Punch, punch.
- Taylor tagged in, and misses a charge.
- B.A. with the hot tag to Swill.
- Swill, again, cleans house of all three guys. *drink* I would guess that, combined, Regal/Finlay/Taylor have paid 40 years worth of dues in pro wrestling. And all three at once put some freakin' rapper over. Nice.
- Swill hits his ridiculous palmthrust on Taylor and gets the pin. *drink* "The Professor" Mike Tenay refers to it as a heartpunch. I would guess that the average seven-year-old knows that if the hand is open, it's not a punch.
- Your winner: B.A., Chase Tatum and Swill via pinfall
Clip of the West Texas Rednecks.
Replay of the Sting/Flair point/counterpoint.
Slim Jim. Eat me!
"Beautiful" Bobby Eaton vs. WCW U.S. Heavyweight Champion David "Deer in the Headlights" Flair w/Ric Flair and Asya
- Yes!!!! Bobby Eaton!
- Charles Robinson is the referee.
- Ric Flair gives Eaton a high-five before the match. Weird.
- Eaton with a snapmare, and scissor headlock. He lets David Flair out.
- Another headlock by Eaton and he lets David Flair out.
- David Flair with a hiptoss.
- Eaton with a drop-toehold and a punch to the back of the head of David Flair
- Flair gets upset and jumps up on the apron to give Bobby money. In fact he stuffs it down Bobby's pants. Ugh.
- Punches by Bobby on David in the corner.
- Ric comes up on the apron again and stuffs more money down the front of Bobby's pants.
- Bobby with a suplex on the U.S. champion.
- Ric's flipping out outside the ring.
- Bobby with a belly-to-back suplex.
- Bobby goes up top for the Alabama Jammer and Asya puts herself on top of David Flair to protect him. Ric drags David out from underneath and he invites Eaton to jam Asya.
  - Heh.
- Eaton refuses and as he goes after Ric Flair, Asya hits Bobby with a low blow.
- Asya goes for second low blow on Bobby, and hits it on both Ric and Bobby at the same time.
- David Flair with figure-four on Eaton and as Bobby's shoulders are down, Charles Robinson issues a very fast three-count.
- Your winner: David Flair via pinfall
- * drink *
Replay of El Vampiro Canadianese vs. Gonnad on Monday night.
Replay of Ernest Miller putting Bagwell out on Monday.
- I'm missing Adam-12 for this?
Replay of Kidman vs. Regal on Monday.
Replay of Stevie Ray making the save on Booker T on Monday.
Man, after that beer, I've got to take a Master P.
Kidman vs. Mikey Whipwreck
- Lockup, Kidman with a headscissors.
- Another lockup, criss-cross, flying headscissors and dropkick by Kidman.
- Whipwreck collects his thoughts outside.
- Kidman attempts to get Whipwreck back in the ring, and Whipwreck pulls Kidman out, drops him on the safety rail, and administers a beating outside.
- Big announcement by Tenay: Hogan will defend against Nash at Road Wild.
- While Tenay is pimping Road Wild, he's ignoring Whipwreck working on Kidman with a series of submission moves.
- Kidman with some moves, including the formerly banned powerbomb, but Whipwreck hits a DDT.
- Suplex by Whipwreck.
- Slam by Whipwreck. Two-count.
- Punch and legdrop by Whipwreck. Choke across bottom rope and two slingshot legdrops on the apron.
- Whipwreck tries a suplex but Kidman dumps him out of the ring. Plancha by Kidman onto Whipwreck on the floor.
- Kidman goes up top, Whipwreck goes up top with him, and Whipwreck misses a Frankensteiner.
- Kidman hits a cross-bodyblock from the top turnbuckle.
- Whipwreck comes back with a springboard clothesline.
- Whipwreck, obviously never having watched a single Kidman match nor remembering when he wrestled Kidman in his WCW debut match, attempts to powerbomb Kidman. You can guess what happened.
- Kidman hits the shooting star press and gets the pin.
  - Interestingly enough, Kidman grazes the ropes with his legs on the way down from the Shooting Star Press. Note this was taped before him getting it worse on Monday night. Sort of makes you wonder...
- Your winner: Billy Kidman via pinfall
Replay of Savage/Hogan from Monday night.
"Rap Is Crap" music video
WCW World Tag Team Champions "The Triad" (DDP, BBB and Kanyon) vs. Curt Hennig and Barry Windham w/Bobby Duncum, Jr. and Kendall Windham
- This is a title defense.
- Hennig and Bigelow to start.
- Bigelow with the early advantage with power moves.
- Windham is tagged in and Bigelow keeps the advantage.
- Page is tagged in and continues working on Windham.
- Windham gets the advantage and tags Hennig in.
- Hennig tags back out quickly.
- Page tags Kanyon in.
- Kanyon with a couple quick covers on Windham, but Windham comes back with a suplex.
- Windham tags Hennig in.
- Interesting fact: All four of the West Texas Rednecks are second-generation wrestlers.
- Somehow, Kendall Windham and Bobby Duncum are in the corner and Kendall is tagging in. Duncum and Kendall are now the combatants for the Rednecks.
- Bigelow is tagged in, gets a big suplex on Kendall, and we go to a commercial break.
- Back to the action, it's Duncum vs. Page. Duncum and Barry are now on the apron.
- Kanyon is tagged in, and Duncum starts taking him apart. Hennig interferes. Referee Billy Silverman has lost control of this one.
- While I was typing, it's become Bigelow vs. Barry.
- Everyone's interfering everywhere.
- Low blow by DDP on Barry Windham.
- What's up with the gloves on Barry Windham?
- Barry tags out, but the referee doesn't see it.
- Everyone's fighting on the floor.
- Finally, back in the ring, it seems Barry and Kanyon are the legal men.
- Kanyon misses the moonsault.
- Barry tags Hennig in. Hennig is house-a-fire on Page.
- Eventually, everyone's in the ring, and Billy Silverman calls for the bell.
- Your winner: Definitely not the viewers. Double-DQ
- The teams fight all the way back to the locker room.
Nitro "Don't Miss A Minute" promo to end the program.

Huh, I never finished my second beer.
Wow, reviewing this, I realized my report stinks. Sorry.
There's a new poll on the main page. (Thanks to John R. for the poll.)
Trivia Answer: They are both third-generation professional wrestlers

WCW Thunder - Wednesday, July 14, 1999

By Bill

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