WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 06/14/99

Anybody got a pair of scissors I can use? Do you know anyone who might have some?

• Travis writes:

  Thoughts on Last Night's (June 7) Nitro:

  Is this the beginning of a new 'tougher' Nitro ? Maybe the 'G' rated idea is no longer hip. Some examples from last night:

  • Normally, when someone bleeds, WCW shoots long until the blood is no longer on screen. Last night, they close upped Rey's bleeding mouth.
  • Hak smoking. Perhaps we'll get a full Sandman entrance soon? If you haven't seen one, find someone with an old ECW tape and watch it. He had a GREAT entrance.
  • The Luchadore Hardcore match had some SICK bumps. The Asai onto the trashcan covered head, the table shot, and the double chair powerbomb were all tough spots. (The chairs were supposed to split, but La Parka put them too close together. I think Damian was hurt, 'cause you could see La Parka talking to him after the pin.)
  • The wrecking of the limo is a pretty expensive 30 seconds. It also seemed a bit violent for WCW.

• TorySan noticed:

  Hats off to Sting. Did anyone else notice that when he Stinger-splashed Madusa, her head hit at a funny angle? Immediately after that, Sting was still leaning over her. Madusa looked up at Sting and nodded very subtly. It was fairly obvious he was checking on her. After the Owen Hart tragedy, it is nice to see that some promotions take care of their own.

• Joseph T. Nix writes in with a very astute observation:

  I have been thinking about this for awhile, mainly why the WCW is slumping so much so quickly. I want to understand the management's reasoning for continuing to submit us to endless tirades by the geriatric crowd, and why they are keeping the younger talent down.

  The only reasonable explanation I can possibly come up with is this. The number of so called "smart marks," out there are are greatly outnumbered as wrestling fans by the true "marks." The true marks recognize the face names such as Hogan, Piper, Savage, etc. They were big names for a long time and are still who people automatically answer when you are their favorite wrestlers. While the "smart" people realize how little talent they have, and are tired of their antics, the majority of the people like them and still come to the arenas just to watch these "icons." Now as much as I hate to admit it, the WCW isn't exactly thinking badly with this idea, but they are going about it all wrong.

  I do not claim to know what the people want, but it's easy to tell, that right now, the people prefer the WWF over WCW simply because of the newer ideals and the more adult content. Putting it simply, the WCW puts on a much greater "wrestling" show. They have a greater roster, and greater wrestlers in their roster. Apparently the fans aren't as interested in great wrestling, so again, putting on the older, bigger name wrestlers, isn't a bad idea, but again, they are going about it the wrong way.

• Kate writes in with a hilarious note that should appeal to my fellow Linux geeks...

  I seem to recall, from past Nitro reports, that you are a fellow Linux geek. In the process of doing some work with KDE, I ran across the following that might be of some interest to you (and goes a way toward explaining a certain lack of presence over the past months):

  http://www.kde.org/documentation/index.html

  Scroll to the bottom. Notice also the domain.

  I'm half-tempted to show up at the Atlanta Nitro with a sign showing Tux in a nWo shirt.

• Dean calls me on....

  By the way, it's "cojones", not "cajones".

  Savage mispronounces it, you mispell it. great teamwork!

  :)

• Tamara and/or Bob has/have some notes on the show:

  After this week's Nitro a few different things seem to be obvious, at least to me:

  • With his new look, doesn't Rick Steiner look an awful lot like Ed Leslie's most recent persona? I foresee a new tag team forming! (what a nightmare)
  • After Piper's impressive oratory with Bagwell and his new name "Buffy," I see a definite non-push for Vampiro. Buffy the Vampiro Slayer.
  • No Asya.
  • The actual booker for WCW: Rocky Maivia. After a couple of weeks ago when Savage said "Can you smell what the Mach is cookin'?" The booker got upset and instead of using nuggets for revenge used this malodorous storyline.

  Aren't all these obvious?

• Joe notes:

  Master P and the No Limit Soldiers are livin' the good life. Not only do they sign for some ridiculous amounts of money, Frosted Mini G and Gonnad come out wearing No Limit shit. Free advertising.

• Joseph continues the "call Wade on his mistakes" trend with:

  I just want to remark on your statement in the Nitro report for June 7th....You said Buff and Sting are the only 2 significant WCW stars not to spend time in the WWF.....Goldberg isn't significant?.....Booker T isn't significant?.......What about Kidman, Hak, Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Ernest Miller, Rey Mysterio Jr., Disco Inferno, Konnan, Scott Norton, Dallas Page, Kanyon, Dean Malenko, Juventud Guerrera, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Eddy Guerrero, Alex Wright, Raven, Norman Smiley, Chris Jericho, Steve McMichael? There all big time stars, most of them are former champions....they are all at least as significant as Buff Bagwell is.......

  Oops. You're correct. "My bad." I think what I was going for was "guys who have been in WCW for five or more years, and who have never spent time in the WWF.
  Note from Bill: Actually, Chris Benoit wrestled at least two matches for the WWF, Raven was in the WWF for quite a while as Johnny Polo, and Steve McMichael was one of the wrestlers who escorted Lawrence Taylor to the ring for his match against Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania XI.

• Corey caught my "Black Belt Jones" reference last week:

  Ha, a Black Belt Jones Reference! My favorite scene is where about 89 guys pile out of the car in the car wash and continue to get punked...one at a time. Come to think of it maybe this is where Bischoff got his inspiration for most of the nWo's attacks.

A few months ago, Kevin Nash approaches Konnan in the locker room after a booking meeting:
Nash: Konnan - we have found the perfect tag team partner for you. He is identical to you in every way......only 1/8 your size.
(Door opens to reveal Rey Mysterio Jr. in a "FUBU" shirt and fatigues)
Konnnan: I shall call him - "Mini Me."

(Props to Official DDT Digest Fraternity Brother A.C. Leex and Mailbag writer Gunstar Red for coming up with the same joke this week)

Konnan and Rey Mysterio Jr.		Dr. Evil and Mini-Me

Mini-Me has the formerly-stellar cruiser title as his personal bitch, which is a shame, considering that was the ONE title you could always count on meaning something.

The Sting/Steiner feud, while ostensably over the TV title, really doesn't involve the belt at all, so it may as well not be there.

And the US title is a joke. Period.

The only way I'm gonna care about Master P is if P.N. News comes and beats the hell out of him.

• It would have ruled if Sherri Martel was one of the dogs last night.

• Savage has skinned an albino gorilla for his pimp suit, instead of a pink one.

• The ointment didn't help, as DJ Ran is still all up in my area.
• I will pay a hefty ransom for the head of DJ Ran in a Tupperware® bowl.

• Do you think we'll get a Master P vs. Mister T match at Starrcade?

• B-Team music brings out Brian Adams and Vincent.
• Hey! Jeff Jarrett is coming down!
• My bad - it's Curt Hennig and Barry Windham coming out to Hennig's "I hate rap" song.
• Hennig starts off against Adams.
• Hennig sells a shoulderblock by Adams with a near-somersault.
• Tony deigns to dignifies the "dog attack" on Sting with a comment.
• Hennig slows it down, if you can believe it, with a headlock.
• Adams takes over, and crotches Hennig around the ringpost.
• Windham tags in.
• The B-Team double-elbows Windham down.
• Windham with an avalanche clothesline.
• Vincent catches Windham up top, and slams him off the top!
• The B-Team continues to work Windham over.
• Windham flattens Vincent with a lariat.
• Hennig tags in to beat the tar out of Vincent.
• Hennig with the somersault neck snap.
• Windham tags in for a backdrop suplex.
• A Windham/Hennig double-clothesline misses by a mile, but Vincent sells anyway.
• Hennig kicks a field goal on Vincent, and lands a kneelift.
• Vincent blocks a Windham suplex, and reverses it.
• Vincent, of all people, levels Windham with a big clothesline.
• Vincent with ANOTHER clothesline, and makes the hot tag to Adams.
• Adams press-slams Windham, and drops a leg for two.
• Adams sets up for a piledriver, but Hennig breaks it up with a clothesline.
• Windham DDT's Adams.
• Adams clotheslines Windham, and stomps on the face.
• Duncum pulls Adams out to the floor, allowing Windham to brain Vincent with Duncum's cowbell.
• Windham then covers for the pin.
• The Country Club celebrates their win.

• Gene actually says "I Miss My Homies."
• "P" says that he'll be glad to waste our time by stinking up the ring and sucking up TV time while guys who actually mean something get bumped to WCW Saturday Night.
• Actually, that's not what he said EXACTLY, but you have to read between the lines.
• Free Bobby Walker!
• I don't think it would be possible for me to care less about Master P.

• Savage comes out, and summons the Rogaine Ho Train.
• Randy Savage is in trouble. When he gets on the mic, I actually find myself thinking things like "I really wish WCW would hire the Warrior back so we could get some interviews that make an ounce of sense on occasion."
• Savage: "Who's the boss?" Tony Danza! But Scott Baio is in charge.
• Savage rambles, if you can believe it.
• Madusa has some SERIOUS bellbottoms.
• Savage would be so irrelevant without his Tit Patrol it isn't funny.
• George grinds, and lays on the mat, to demonstrate how Nash got "beaten" last night.
• George is taller on her back than she is standing up.
• Savage has one word for Nash: "The Macho Man is gonna be unbelievably vicious."
• Savage drops more "vicious" references.
• Savage has two words for Nash: "The Wolfpac sucked."

• The dogs who attacked Sting were Matlida, Winston, and Pepe.

• Morrus appears to have lost some weight.
• In the "You didn't see this on PPV last night" match, Kidman makes his way out.
• Hart distracts Kidman, allowing Morrus to attack.
• Morrus tosses Kidman into the air, then flips him with a HUGE clothesline.
• Morrus with an avalanche in the corner.
• Morrus catches Kidman, but Kidman escapes and hits the rope-bounce clothesline.
• Kidman with a flying headscissors, and he dropkicks Morrus to the floor.
• Baseball slide by Kidman.
• Kidman tries a slingshot to the floor, but Morrus catches Kidman and runs him back-first into the ringpost.
• Hart throws a chair into the ring, but Kidman catches Morrus with the rope-bounce bulldog.
• Kidman sets the chair up in the ring, and goes to take care of Hart.
• Morrus press-slams Kidman into the upright chair. Ouch!
• Morrus tries to powerbomb Kidman, and gets the facebuster reversal on to the chair.
• Kidman goes up top, and hits the Shooting Star Press for the win!

• Mute button.

• He calls out Ric Flair.
• Sign: "I'm your fat boy."
• Flair and Arn make their way out.
• Ric admires himself on the big screen.
• Flair talks about how good it is to be president.
• Flair offers to make some kid's mother go: "Whoo whoo whoo"
• Flair is going to ask one of the greatest wrestlers, Roddy Piper, to accept the position of Vice President of WCW.
• A full bagpipe band brings out Roddy Piper.
• Piper with another lame reference, this time to Bam Bam Bigelow's farts.
• Piper rants a bit.
• Piper talks about the "whining wrestlers," and swears to help them on Bill Clinton's honor.
• Flair and Piper talk about the old days.
• Flair promises that if he's incapacitated, Piper can have the presidency.
• Dean Malenko makes his way down.
• Malenko says that if a man was in a hospital awakening from a 15-year coma, he could turn on Nitro and think he hasn't missed anything.
• Malenko says he's tired of getting pushed down and held down. Malenko says he speaks for the guys in the back.
• Malenko: "Wanye Gretzky stepped down, John Elway stepped down. That's class. Have some class, Flair."
• Malenko isn't asking Flair to pass the torch, he's telling Flair that they're taking it, like it or not.
• Malenko wants to know where Arn stands.
  
• Arn: "You don't bum-rush greatness. Greatness comes with time."
• Arn: "You're either a Horseman, or you're a casualty of the Horsemen."
• Arn elects to stand with Flair.
• Piper tells Malenko to go to the back.
• Malenko pushes Piper away.
• Piper attacks, and all three attack Malenko.
• Buff Bagwell rushes in for the save.
• In the back, Benoit and Saturn see what's happening, and rush to make the save.
• They get cut off by the Jersey Boyz, though, and get beaten down.
• Back in the ring, the Geriatrics have Malenko and Bagwell down.
• As we go to commercial, Bagwell starts a comeback.

• © Wheezer ©

• Oono has a briefcase with Kitty's Ruby Slippers in it in the ring.
• Bischoff talks about the future of WCW not lying with Piper and Flair. I'm speechless.
• Kitty cuts a rug.
• Kitty gets on the mic.
• Kitty calls out Scott Norton.
• B-Team music comes on, then stops.
• Norton charges to the ring like an enraged bull.
• Norton chops Kitty down, and lands an avalanche.
• They take it to the floor.
• Norton treats Kitty like a litter box.
• Kitty tries to beat Norton with a cup of beer, but it has no effect.
• Norton no-sold Miller! (both the beer and the wrestler)
• Kitty dropkicks Norton's knees out.
• A Norotn chop ends that.
• Norton with a bodyslam.
• Norton sets up for the powerbomb, but Kitty hits a low blow.
• Oono gives Kitty a ruby slipper. He clicks his heels together and says "Thank God I taught Bischoff's kid karate" (just kidding on the quote).
• Norton accidentally clotheslines the ref in a really sloppy spot.
• I feel like I'm watching someone play a wrestling video game, and it's Eric Watts vs. Eric Watts.
• Norton sets up for the powerbomb, but Oono hits him with a crowbar.
• Kitty covers for two.
• Bischoff talks smack about Jim Ross calling everything a "Savate Kick."
• Norton gets distracted by Oono again, allowing Kitty to hit a Ruby-slipper-assisted Superkick for the......pin?
• Shit.

• YES! Disco!!!
• His opponent -
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• KILL.
• ME.
• NOW.
• What have I done to deserve Van Hammer beating Disco Inferno?
• What has ANYONE done to deserve Van Hammer?
• Van Hammer couldn't get heat on the surface of the sun.
• Later tonight: Malenko, Bagwell, Benoit, Saturn vs. Flair, Piper, Kanyon, and Page.
• Hammer with a slam.
• Hammer continues to beat on Disco.
• Hammer with an avalanche clothesline.
• Memo to WCW: "We will NEVER care about Van Hammer. Ever." Wrath looked like a badass. Hammer looks like a wino.
• Disco whips Hammer into the apron, and drops some elbows on the back.
• Disco with a NICE clothesline.
• Disco goes for a backdrop, but Hammer catches him in the Former Flashback.
• Hammer rams Disco's head into the canvas.
• A pair of elbowdrops.
• Bischoff: "I want to take this opportunity to say hello to Bret Hart. I believe he's in Kansas City now...."
• Hammer with a legdrop on Disco's back.
• Bischoff talks about Van Hammer needing a coach. Is "coach" a synonym for "bullet to the head"?
• Hammer locks on a sleeper.
• Disco escapes with a jawbreaker.
• Hammer with a two-handed choke throw.
• Disco avoids a corner charge.
• Disco blows a swinging neckbreaker by swinging the wrong way. D'Oh!
• Russian legsweep by Disco.
• Disco with the diving forearm for two.
• Hammer shoves Disco out of the Chartbuster. Disco bumps the ref.
• Disco hits another swinging neckbreaker (correctly, this time), but the ref is out.
• Hammer pops up like Hogan, delivers a belly-to-back suplex (of all things), and gets the pin.
• Sigh.
• Disco takes issue with Scott Dickenson after the match, and delivers a Chartbuster.

• What untalented sack of shit will Finlay put over tonight?
• Brian Knobbs. Figures.
• Finlay unloads on Knobbs on the outside.
• At least Finlay will apply some hurt to the Blonde Pile of Poop before he does his job.
• Knobbs hotshots Finlay on the guardrail.
• Finlay gets introduced to the steps.
• Finlay with a VICIOUS clothesline, followed by a butt-drop.
• The announcers wonder where Sid is. Maybe the windshield of the Hummer was dirty.....
• Finlay with the charging shoulder into the corner.
• Knobbs lands an avalanche.
• Knobbs lets Finlay take a pit stop.
• Knobbs eats boot, but Finlay gets caught with a powerslam coming out of the corner.
• Hart gets boots to the gut.
• Bischoff threatens us with a Hogan return.
• Knobbs with a bodyslam, but Finlay avoids a splash.
• Finlay with a Kevin Sullivan-esque gut-stomp.
• Fireman carry roll from Finlay.
• Knobbs avoids a running shoulder charge in the corner.
• Finlay and Hart fight for a chair, and end up BOTH hitting Knobbs!
• Hak runs down and delivers a Kendo shot to Knobbs, allowing Finlay to make the pin!!!
• I'll admit - I didn't see that one coming.

• Nash: "Washington, DC!"
  Bischoff: "I wanna hear what he has to say."
  Nash: "Big Sexy in da house!"
  Wade: "Like you didn't know that was coming."
• Nash talks about still being the champ.
• Nash didn't come out here tonight to talk to the Macho Man. He came out here to talk to Sid.
• Nash challenges Sid for the belt tonight.
• Sid comes on the big screen.
• Sid says that Nash has made the biggest mistake of his life.
• They jaw back and forth.
• We look at Sable again as we fade to commercial.

• Mute.

• The geriatrics come out first.
• Out of all the themes on the young team, the one that sucks (Bagwell's) gets used. Sheesh.
• The youngsters rush the ring, and clean the geriatrics out.
• As we calm it down, Flair and Benoit start off.
• Flair with chops, and Benoit responds in kind.
• Benoit with a huge backdrop on Flair.
• Benoit applies a quick Crossface to Page, but the geriatrics make the save.
• Piper wants Bagwell.
• Bagwell fools Piper with a test of strength, then punches him over the top rope.
• Bagwell out-punches Piper.
• Inverted atomic drop by Bagwell.
• Commercial.
• As we come back, Flair has Benoit in trouble.
• Benoit flips out of a backdrop suplex, and rolls Flair up for two.
• Benoit with a backslide for two.
• They trade pinning sequences.
• Flair with a backdrop suplex.
• Flair goes for the figure four, but Benoit rolls him up for two.
• Benoit hits a HUGE enziguiri!
• Benoit applies the figure four!
• The faces all apply simultaneous figure fours to the heels!
• Bigelow comes in to break it up with a legdrop on Benoit.
• Flair covers Benoit for two.
• Kanyon tags in.
• Kanyon with a Rocker Dropper off the second rope. Bagwell makes the save.
• Benoit with a sunset flip, but Kanyon tags Page on his way over.
• The heels work over Benoit.
• Flair with a nutshot on Benoit.
• Benoit is at the mercy of Flair's chops in the heel corner.
• Kanyon back in, and Benoit tries to fight to the face corner.
• Kanyon spins Benoit around into a DDP clothesline.
• Piper in.
• A punch-fest.
• Kanyon in.
• Kanyon with a Russian legsweep.
• Page in on Benoit.
• Benoit tags Saturn, but the heels have the ref distracted.
• Page and Kanyon double-suplex Benoit.
• Page eats boot coming off the top.
• Benoit tags Bagwell. Page tags Flair.
• Bagwell is a redneck 'o fire on the heels!
• It's an 8-man brawl in the ring now.
• Malenko and Flair left in the ring now.
• Flair shoulderblocks Malenko out of the ring, but Bagwell has hopped up to the middle rope.......
• BAGWELL HITS THE BLOCKBUSTER ON FLAIR!!!
• Bagwell covers Flair!
• One.....two.....THREE!!!!
• Bagwell has pinned Flair!
• WCW - great job. This is what you have to do to be successful. Of course, it WAS the ultimate team player who put the young guy over, but it's a start. Let's see Savage or Nash do that, and you'll achieve True Enlightenment.

• Mmmmmmmm........Spice.........

• Can't get one past you, can they?

• YES!!! The Chairman and Psychosis!
• Aldo: El suicido, homicido, genicido Sabu, err Psychosis.
• Their opponents: Gonnad and Mini-Me.
• Master Baiter and the No Talent Soldiers lead out Gonnad and Frosted Mini G.
• It's so sad that Master B. has more gold in his mouth than Benoit is currently wearing.
• B. steals La Parka's chair.
• Gonnad insinuates that Psy and Parka are talking about being "4-Life." That's stretching the metaphor, Gonnad.
• Hey, I've got an idea, WCW! Blow me!
• Psychosis and "Rey-Rey" "start-start" "out-out".
• Some reversals that end in a Rey Frankensteiner.
• Rey slides Psychosis out of the ring.
• Bischoff talks about Master B.'s buddy Scholl or something (maybe he's a doctor) being trained by Brad Rheingans, and has wrestled in New Japan.
• Gonnad takes out both luchadors, and he and Rey clean house.
• So far tonight, Bischoff has sung the praises of Van Hemmorhoid and Gonnad as "future stars." Heaven help us.
• Apparently, "No Limits" means no limits in education, no limits in athletics, and, most importantly, no limits in sucking.
• Psy and La Parka take over on Gonnad.
• A series of avalanche clotheslines by the luchas.
• Rey with a springboard carpetmuncher on Psy.
• Gonnad impresses me with a through-the-ropes dives.
• Parka tries to superplex Rey, but Gonnad stops it.
• Rey flies off the top with headscissors on Psychosis.
• Gonnad with a nice top-rope German suplex.
• Mule kick. Carpetmuncher. Parka goes down.
• Rey with a springboard frankensteiner on Rey.
• Both faces make stereo pins.
• Hennigs's music comes on, and the cowboys have taken over DJ Ran's booth.
• They quickly hit the road.
• Master B. throws an epileptic fit in the DJ booth.
• They play what I assume was a Master B. song.
• It looks like Chase Tatum is one of the No Talent Soldiers, but I could be wrong.
• I forget already - am I supposed to care? Oh well - I don't have to think about it any more right now.
• I will certainly give credit where credit is due - Konnan worked harder in this match than I've seen in ages!