WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 04/26/99

Fargo, North Dakota

By Wade

I liked this better when it was the "Frame of Mind" episode on Star Trek: The Next Generation

A lot of good stuff in the mailbag this week:
- Border writes in with a multimedia extravaganza:
  
  Let's just say Xavier Doom inspired me.
  Last night during Nitro, you know this is what was said to Schiavone by Steiner.
- Flan writes:
  Okay Wade...
  Complications caused me to miss Nitro, but I always have DDT Digest to fall back on. What I want to know is, "What was Mickey Jay doing in DDP's tights?" and I quote:
  - Goldberg kicks out of the Cutter with authority!
  - DDP goes into his tights for an illegal object.
  - DDP pulls Mickey Jay between himself and a Spear.
  - Goldberg jackhammers DDP into the ring from the apron. The ref is still down, though.
  Well Mickey, there's a time and a place for everything, and that is NOT the place for you to be during a Nitro... Serves ya' right.
- Sue has the 4-1-1 on the DJ of Doom:
  
  Listen, the DJ from Nitro is DJ Ran from Philly. The guy is a top notch DJ on Power 99 FM. Trust me, he's good. Can't help it if WCW makes him play the Sesame Street Theme.
  Just wanted to let you know.
- Cowabunga! Ty writes in with:
  
  What a great Nitro. I'll give you one guess on who designed Blitzkrieg's new costume. He played SUPERSHREDDER in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II. Don't have it. Kevin Nash. That's the first thing I thought when I saw the Supershredder reincarnite known as Blitzkrieg. Maybe Shredder (Psicosis) and Supershredder will form some sort of alliance against a gang of fat guys that look like turtles. But that four corners match was great and I wanted Psicosis to win but didn't expect it.
  It looks like WCW has finally realized they've got a lot of talent for a great night. But we all know about the WCW curse. They have a great night then next week they shaft us with an hour of taped NWO segments.
  And Wade you need to keep a count of victims of the new ramp. You can call it Victims of the New Ramp Count. So far I've got two. Goldberg the second week of the new set and Flair last night. I thought I saw Nash slip up but I'm not sure.
- The maniacal Spike D. Punch graces us with his presence:
  
  Some notes concerning the April 19th Nitro in Gainesville, FL.
  I found Piper bearable tonight - and Flair absolutely amazing on the mic. A pretty good segment. Too bad we had to watch it 4 times by show's end, and too bad we'll have to watch this match for Starrcade. Oh well, at least Piper will sell some of Flair's offense.
  The 4-way cruiser match was incredible. Best match I've seen in years. Nice to see Psychosis get a run with the belt.
  "The Swamp" is a crappy frat bar near campus. It's famous for huge crowds, obscene prices, drunken fistfights, and not serving minorities.
  As a huge Norton mark, I was disappointed to see Steiner beat him so quickly. To clarify Wade's question about the ending, Steiner hit a low blow just before the suplex.
  Buff has the support of the fans, the moves, and the charisma. Now all he needs is a credible finisher..
  Seeing Flair no-sold this much is really really sad. I don't care if he is a heel, can we get a smidgeon of reality? And seeing Flair laid out for ten minutes off Nash's "feather-fall" powerbomb was patently absurd.
  Good show in all, but Flair still needs better treatment.
- The Paragon of Virtue (no, not THAT Paragon of Virtue, some other one) writes:
  
  I dunno'... maybe it was just me, but the whole thing where Nash ran down and started to protect and... well, cuddle Goldberg seemed a little faygala. DDP's heel turn is going along nicely (not that I could stand the guy before anyway but...). Besides that it was a pretty good show and, HEY, whadya' know? Nash can actually book stuff every now and then! Joy.
- Jason gives some play-by-play I missed:
  Re: the Steiner/Norton match: You must have looked away... after
  - "Side suplex by Norton."
  - Steiner kicks out.
  - Norton sets up for a powerbomb.
  - He spreads his arms and bumps the ref??!!!
  - Must have some powerful arms...
  - Steiner head-butts and forearms Norton in the crotch while the ref is out until Norton falls down.
  - "Steiner comes back with a belly-to-belly."
  I could see where you might subconsciously suppress it, tho.
- What's the word on the street, Grimace?
  
  Eewww, Brian Knobbs. Excuse me while I shudder.
  And winning his first match back in WCW too. Eeesch.
  Scott Steiner mentioned Buff's name as a male dancer was Digby Long. Digby Long, is that "G" rated? And I thought working out that much made "digby" smaller...? What's up, as they say, with that??
  Yeah Psychosis!!! Now only if Rey Mysterio gets hurt and La Parka fills in as tag team champ I can happily retire from watching pro wrestling, my wishes all fulfilled.
  I noticed the cameras keeping a good distance from Dusty Rhodes face. Maybe those scars on his forehead don't make the "G" rating either.
  What happened to Nick Patrick? He was there for one match two weeks ago and now he's gone again... Maybe HE'S been with David Flair??
- Tony managed to intercept a secret WCW memo. Here it is for your viewing pleasure...
  Well, despite TSN apparently throwing their schedule off once again just so I can't see that whoopass cruiser match from Monday night, I'm still curious as to when we might see something like this surface from Turnerland...
```
-----
Memo
  To: All WCW in-ring employees
  From: Turner Ltd. Survey & Stats Dep't.
  Re: Power bomb observations

We have been observing matches wrestled by WCW employees recently and
have noticed a startling fact which has been proven by close statistical
observation of certain contests recently. Our liability insurance has
been rising due to certain occurrences that should be remedied
immediately. 
Through observation and computer calculation, it has been determined
that the chances of any WCW employee successfully powerbombing Billy
Kidman are about the same as the odds of Kevin Nash leaving WCW, getting
a sex change, marrying Scott Hall, joining the WWF and feuding with
Nicole Bass for the Women's title. Translated to the vernacular: 'No
chance in Hell'. 
We recommend discontinuing these attempts as soon as possible. Thank
you.
-----
```
- Jeremy writes:
  
  Just a funny thing a friend of mine said (and after all that's happened this week, I think we could all use a laugh): I was explaining to him about the Shockmaster fiasco from so many years ago. When I showed him the picture from Xavier Doom's WCW Hall of Shame he said: "Wow, looks like the Kool-Aid pitcher guy after a bender."
- Finally, Jwam writes in with the Email of the Week:
  
  While looking through a store that was going out of business, I wandered into the clothing department. I saw all sorts of brand-x clothing. Among the featured item was a ONE WARRIOR NATION shirt (Priced at $16.99, but it was on the 70% off rack). The design was like a U.S. flag, with ONE WARRIOR NATION written in the stripes, and that Warrior logo in place of the stars. Curious, I looked to see if it was a left over WCW shirt. Nope. (c)1998 Ultimate Creations. It goes to show that if you deal with Warrior, it can only mean bad things. In this case, it meant going out of buisness.
  Always believe,
  Jwam
We get a bell salute and picture of Rick Rude, with the caption: "Rick Rood 1958-1999"
We look back "Last Week" at Roddy Piper's Nutty Adventure.
- With all the great action last week, we have to take a look back at the moronic part. Shockmaster 2.
- We also see DDP going heel with the illegal object.
- That WAS a touching, tender moment between Nash and Goldberg. It was like "Love Story" all over again.
We go to the Florida Mental Hospital
- A "doctor" and "nurse" are talking about Flair. They say he's disrupting the hosptial.
- The nurse says that they'll fix him, and she goes to where a TV is and a bunch of mental patients. She says there'll be no Nitro tonight.
- Ric Flair's music plays, and he struts into the loony bin.
- Flair dances around a bit.
- This is so sad.
We now get the normal Nitro opener.
JJ Dillon and Charles Robinson
- Apparently, Charles Robinson is Vice-President of WCW, and if the President is incapacitated, the VP takes over. Which means the Bumpmaster is running the show.
- Robinson says he's above the Commissioner, too. JJ assures him that he's in charge.
Nitro Girls.
And we're LIVE form Fargo, North Dakota!
- Mike Tenay is back at ringside. Tony welcomes him back. Heenan is under the weather tonight.
- Tony seems to have forgotten his "feud" with Tenay.
The bagpipes bring out Piper
- Can you make cheap sports references in North Dakota? Will Piper be able to speak if he can't?
- Piper: "Fargo, North Dakota....where men are men and Ric Flair runs scared."
- Piper says that he's the sole man in charge of WCW.
- Piper says that Savage is re-instated immediately.
- Tonight, it's Randy Savage vs. Scott Steiner for the US title.
- The mention of DDP's name gets big boos.
- DDP's music comes on, and Page comes out with the belt on backward. He turns it around as he comes out.
- Page is wearing a "Three Stooges" shirt.
- Piper tries to hype Page, but the crowd just boos.
- Piper wants DDP to give a title shot to Sting.
- Page (to the crowd): "How do you really feel? Whatever."
- DDP says there's nothing he'd rather do than put up the belt against Sting in Fargo.
- But...he doesn't think so.
- Page goes to leave.
- Piper says that he's telling Page to defend the title against Sting.
- The title match will be at 9:00 pm.
- Piper then leaves.
DJ Stimpy is spinning some "fly" tunes. They obviously have enough time to put THIS guy on TV, so I wonder what Vampiro is doing right now?
Match 1: Brian Adams vs. Konnan
- B-Team music brings out Brian Adams.
- His opponent: Gonnad.
- Gee. This should rule.
- At least, I think it's the Human Catchphrase. He's wearing camo, so I can't see him.
- Catchphrases.
- Adams tries to attack at the bell, but Catchphrase beats him.
- Ten punches in the corner. The camera tries to miss Catchphrase's crotch-scratching, but doesn't.
- Adams with an inverted atomic drop and clothesline.
- Hiptoss from Catchphrase, followed by a badly-executed floatover bulldog.
- Catchphrase drops too early for a backdrop, and Adams meets him with an elbow to the back of the head.
- Adams then sends him to the floor.
- Adams with a headbutt.
- Adams with a gorilla-press gutbuster.
- Pendulum backbreaker by the former "Crush."
- Adams puts on a chinlock that doesn't look like he's even touching Catchphrase.
- Adams with the jump-up-on-the-back-and-get-knees-to-the-crotch spot.
- Rolling Catchphrase.
- A rollup almost pins Adams.
- Powerslam by Adams.
- Mule kick. Carpetmuncher. Sunrise. Tap. Yawn.
- I take that back. Vincent comes in with the B-Team before Catchphrase can hook the Sunrise.
- The B-Team stomps a mudhole in Catchphrase. Adams and Vince team up for a spike-piledriver.
Sting promo.
Tenay, Tony, and Surge are at the announce booth.
Supposedly, Raven and Saturn vs. the Armstrongs is next, but the Horsemen allegedly took out Saturn and Kidman.
Match 2: Scott & Steve Armstrong vs. Raven
- Armstrong music brings out, well, the Armstrongs. Aw hell yeah!
- For those who can't tell, Scott is the blond, curly-haired one, Steve is the brown, straight haired one.
- Raven's music brings out Raven. This will apparently be a handicap match. I'd bet Rey Mysterio gets involved.
- Good pop for Raven.
- Raven slumps, and gets a mic.
- Raven gets the crowd to chant along with "What about me, what about Raven?"
- Raven: "It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings, and I've never seen an opera with a happy ending."
- The Armstrongs try to doubleteam Raven, but Raven gets out.
- Raven double-bulldogs the Armstrongs.
- The Armstrongs aren't getting it together.
- Raven chases the Armstrongs with a chair.
- Armdrags by Raven on both Armstrongs.
- Scott gets drop-toeholded into the chair. Steve breaks the pin.
- Steve gets one, too.
- Raven avoids a corner charge, but Steve takes him out.
- Steve tags in.
- Scott tries to hold Raven, but Raven moves.
- Stereo kneelifts by Raven.
- Ten punches in the corner by Raven on Scott, and a forearm for Steve.
- Steve gets ten punches, too.
- Raven turns around, and eats a superkick from Scott.
- Scott, though, superkicks his own brother too.
- Scott turns around and gets an Evenflow.
- Raven covers, but Steve nails Raven with the chair at two.
- Scott then rolls onto Raven, and GETS THE PIN!
- The Armstrongs beat Raven! That's WEIRD booking! Raven kicks the tar out of two men, but falls victim to one chairshot.
- Embarassing, but I guess you take your wins when you can.
We see a split-screen of Ric talking to Charles Robinson
- Ric is ranting. Ric wants Piper arrested.
- One of the nurses in the mental ward looks like Madusa.
Another look back at last week. Same thing from the beginning of the show.
Gene calls out "The Little Nature Boy" Charles Robinson
- Robinson says that he's in charge, not Roddy Piper.
- Robinson says the fans will get Sting vs. DDP.
- Piper's music comes on. Just what I thought we needed - MORE Piper.
- Robinson calls for security.
- Piper: "You little leprechaun."
- Piper talks smack to Robinson.
- Robinson slaps Piper.
- Security comes down, led by Doug Dillinger and JJ Dillon.
- Security grabs Piper and cuffs him.
- Robinson: "Charles is in charge. That's Mr. Robinson to you."
- Robinson's talking mad smack to Piper as the cops take Piper away.
- Robinson repeats that Piper is fired, but he still has Flair at Slamboree.
- Robinson rants to the camera.
- Robinson then stalks to the back.
Match 3: Sting vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion Diamond Dallas Page
- Sting makes his way down.
- The champ makes his way out, in an attempt to keep people from switching over to RAW.
- Page thumbs his nose at the fans.
- Sting with a shoulderblock that sends Page to the floor.
- Page jaws at Sting, then sucker-punches him.
- Sting no-sells, and hits a punch of his own.
- Sting sends Page to the floor again.
- Sign: "DDP The Hippies Champ" Isn't that Van Hammer?
- Page with a kick on the rope break.
- Shoulderblock armlock.
- Page takes Sting down by the hair, then hits the floor.
- Sting follows him, and brawls with Page on the floor.
- Page catches Sting coming back into the ring.
- Sting with a Luger-esque series of running clotheslines, and a Stinger Splash.
- Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock, but Page gets to the ropes. Page escapes to the floor again.
- Page drinks some of Tenay's water.
- The crowd seems to be chanting "White Trash."
- Sting takes control again in the ring.
- Page with a leg trip for two.
- Sting starts to fight back.
- Page with a shoulderblock, and a clothesline.
- Page tries the Cutter, but Sting throws him to the floor.
- Page tries a walkout, but Sting catches him.
- Sting beats Page to the entrance and back.
- Sting with 5 punches in the corner, but DDP with a ballshot and a hotshot on the turnbuckles.
- DDP takes the advantage.
- Backdrop suplex by DDP.
- Sting ducks a clothesline, double-noggin-knocker, and the dazed Sting falls with a headbutt to Page's crotch.
- DDP covers for two.
- DDP stomps on Sting and talks some trash.
- Sting fights back, but eats a swinging neckbreaker.
- Page with elbows to the gut.
- Page drags Sting into position for the ringpost figure four. Sting holds onto the ropes, so Page just wraps Sting's knee around the post.
- Sting kicks Page off.
- Page tries the Diamond Cutter, but Sting holds on to the ropes to block.
- Sting with a jawbreaker.
- Inverted atomic drop by Sting. Followed by another one.
- Hair-grab bulldog by Sting.
- Sting goes up top, and splashes Page. Only gets two.
- Page goes to the eyes, and sends Sting to the floor.
- Page beats on Sting, and delivers a neck snap over the top rope.
- Another jawbreaker from Sting.
- Page reverses a corner whip into a Ligerbomb! Two count!
- Both men are down. They get up at seven.
- Sting avoids a corner charge and rolls Page up for two. Page gets up with a lariat.
- Page tries a suplex, but Sting small-packages him.
- Page tries a lariat again, but Sting ducks and hits one of his own.
- Sting plays to the crowd.
- Sting with a nasty-looking piledriver for two.
- They trade reversals of tombstones until Sting hits his for two.
- Crowd's really hot tonight.
- Page plants Sting with a leaping DDT for two.
- Page with a low blow on an attempted backslide.
- Page tries to bring Sting out of the corner with the Diamond Cutter, but Sting comes out and plants Page with the Scorpion Death Drop!
- One....two....THREE! Sting wins the title on Nitro!
Flair is on the phone to Robinson
- Flair wants Sting vs. Goldberg at Slamboree.
Match 4: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Psychosis
- 1-Gold Latino makes his way out first.
- The Champ! Psychosis!
- The fact that Psychosis has a belt rules way too much.
- Psy is wearing a woel over his horns.
- Rey looks like someone put GI Joe into the wash and shrunk him.
- Psy with a shoulderblock.
- Psy dropkicks Rey in the head on the mat.
- Rey avoids a corner charge.
- Rey goes up top, and comes off with headscissors.
- Rey flips out of a backdrop suplex, tries headscissors, but Psychosis hotshots him over the top.
- Psychosis tries a powerbomb, but ends up sending Rey headfirst into the turnbuckles.
- Rey gets out of a tornado DDT, but Psychosis does an inverted suplex and drops Rey gut-first over the top.
- Psychosis then dropkicks Rey to the apron.
- Psychosis goes up top.
- Rey shoves Psychosis to the apron, then headscissors him to the floor.
- Benoit and Malenko come down to the ring.
- Psychosis with a Super Falcon Arrow!
- Rey hits a carpetmuncher.
- The Horsemen grab the tag belt, but Rey attacks them.
- Psychosis powerbombs Rey for two.
- Psychosis tries another powerbomb, but Rey reverses it into a swinging DDT, and gets the pin.
- Sigh.
- The Horsemen run in, ditch Psychosis, and beat on 2-Gold.
- For the love of GOD, WCW. REY DOESN'T NEED THE DAMN CW BELT TOO. Here's a shocking idea - use it to get others over! Instead of the Rey-Juvi-Kidman circle-jerk we've been seeing for the last year.
- Crackheads. That right there just screams "No booking plan."
Big Booker, Kevin Nash, comes out
- Nash is serious - he doesn't give a "___ in da house."
- Nash says he just got informed that the main event at Slamboree is Sting vs. Goldberg for the World title.
- Nash says that he was supposed to have the title shot at Slamboree.
- Nash says he hasn't forgotten.
- Nash challenges Goldberg, DDP, and Sting to a match tonight.
- Whoever gets the pin walks out of Fargo as champion.
Flair is back on the phone, and orders the four-way match.
Match 5: Erik Watts vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
- Erik Watts comes out with orange sunglasses. His pants aren't quite as big this week.
- His opponent: Bam Bam Bigelow.
- Erik - ready to eat your squash?
- Actually, in good light, Watts' pants are pretty big.
- Watts avoids a corner charge, and hits a Chavo-like springboard bulldog.
- The sloppiest frankensteiner I've ever seen from Watts.
- Bigelow flips Watts with a clothesline, and hits the swan dive headbutt.
- Bigelow then hits the Greetings for the win.
Mean Gene is talking, but the mic is bad.
- Gene calls out the new champ, Sting.
- Sting comes out, with new face paint and no belt.
- Sting: "I am back. I am back in black."
- Sting accepts Nash's challenge.
Match 6: Meng vs. WCW World Television Champion Booker T
- The Munster Meng comes out.
- His opponent: Booker T.
- This'll be for the TV Title.
- Booker avoids Meng's offense in the corner.
- Meng bodyslams Booker to get out of an armbar.
- Meng shoulderblocks Booker down.
- Flying forearm from the champ.
- Booker dropkicks Meng.
- Meng with his flurry of "stuff" in the corner.
- Booker avoids a corner charge, and slams Meng.
- Booker does it again.
- Meng eats boot on a corner charge, but as Booker comes out of the corner, he gets met with a powerslam.
- Meng chokes Booker in the corner.
- Avalanche in the corner from the Munster.
- Booker with a side kick.
- Meng blatantly sets up for the Axe Kick.
- Booker with a spin kick, but Meng bumps the ref.
- Backdrop suplex, breakdance, and a setup for the Harlem Side Kick.
- Stevie Ray makes his way down.
- Booker hits the Harlem Sidekick, but the ref's down.
- Meng ducks a sidekick, and Booker crotches himself.
- Meng locks on the Tongan Death Grip.
- Stevie Ray runs in and hits Meng with the slapjack. Booker falls on top of Meng.
- The ref recovers, and Booker gets the pin.
- Stevie enters the ring, and Rick Steiner, for some unknown reason, hits the ring and starts beating on Stevie.
- Booker pulls Rick off, and they start jawing.
- A startedown ensues, and Booker leaves.
Nash promo.
We take a look back at "Hogan's Knee: The Adventure."
- I refuse to dignify the "special look" at Hogan's surgery with details. This ain't the Discovery Channel, jack.
- Actually, I will note that they showed Sir Eric the Grey. But that's it.
Goldberg promo.
More Ric on the phone
- Ric wants Booker T vs. Rick Steiner for the PPV.
- Ric also says that the four-way World title match is no-DQ.
- Ric sees Scott Hall in patient clothing in the hospital.
Match 7: Hak (w/Chastity) vs. Horace vs. Brian Knobbs vs. Mikey Whipwreck
- This is a four-way hardcore match.
- They all have kendo sticks.
- The winner of this match faces Bam Bam Bigelow at the PPV.
- Garden-variety stick-brawling to start.
- Knobbs gets a ladder and airplane-spins with it.
- Knobbs splashes Hak with the ladder.
- Knobbs takes Horace for a pit stop.
- Commercial. I thought they were only allowed during cruiserweight matches...
- As we come back, a giant "Surge" container has come in.
- More generic "hardcore" brawling.
- Tony comes on to Chastity.
- [THINK ABOUT CRAPPY GARBAGE WRESTLING. REPEAT AS NEEDED]
- Horace eventually gets a fire extenguisher in the eyes, but is able to avoid being put through a table by Hak.
- Knobbs blocks an extenguisher shot, but gets knocked off the turnbuckles.
- Hak comes off a ladder with a somersault senton that puts Whipwreck through the table.
- Knobbs splashes Whipwreck with the ladder, and Knobbs gets the win.
Match 8: WCW US Heavyweight Champion Scott Steiner vs. Randy Savage (w/Gorgeous George and Miss Madness)
- Scott Steiner is on the stick.
- Steiner says he does what he wants, but he likes the matchup with Savage.
- Steiner says that if he wins, he gets Gorgeous George.
- Savage comes out with Cowboy Gorgeous George and Queen Madness, who's dressed up like Debra (WCW days, not "puppy" days).
- Charles Robinson comes in the ring, sends Billy Silverman to the back, and takes the place as the ref.
- Lots of stalling to start.
- Steiner shoves Savage into Robinson.
- Robinson DQ's Savage, and awards the match to Steiner.
- Madusa kicks Robinson.
- She rolls Robinson into the ring, and they strip Robinson to his Florida Gators boxers.
- That was......odd.
The "Gorgeous George training video."
Match 9: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash vs. Bill Goldberg vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion Sting
- DDP limps out first.
- Nash next, then Goldberg.
- The champ comes out to complete his hour-and-a-half title reign.
- Commercial.
- DDP hits the floor as Sting, Goldberg, and Nash go at each other.
- Goldberg gainst the advantage.
- Weird hiptoss-powerslam from Goldberg on Nash.
- Goldberg takes Sting on.
- Page circles the floor.
- Page comes into the ring to deliver a swinging neckbreaker to Goldberg. Nash saves.
- Goldberg with a neckbreaker on page.
- Sting takes all three on. Stinger splashes for all three.
- Nash with a big boot on all three.
- Nash sets up to Jackknife Page, but Goldberg blocks it.
- DDP continues to circle the ring, running to deliver cheap shots.
- Goldberg takes the advantage, and hits a standing powerslam on Page.
- Stinger Splash on Goldberg.
- Sting avoids a Nash boot.
- Sting tries to put the Scorpion Deathlock on Nash.
- Sting applies it as Goldberg spears Page.
- Sting releases the hold, as Goldberg spears Sting.
- Goldberg jackhammers Sting.
- Randy Savage runs in to make the save.
- Savage clotheslines Goldberg over the top rope.
- Savage tosses some knucks to Page.
- Page nails Nash with the knucks, then delivers a Diamond Cutter!
- Page covers Nash! One.....two...three! Page regains his belt on the same night he lost it!
- Page exits through the crowd as we fade to black.....

WCW Monday Nitro - Monday, 04/26/99

By Wade

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