I guess for WCW fans, it means Spring Stampede. That pay-per-view tradition. Well, okay, not quite a tradition. This year's is only the fourth Spring Stampede.
Anyway, before I get to this year's card, there are a few things I'd like to address. First, a trivia question, inspired by this picture:
This interview was Scott's NWA/WCW debut. But that's not what the question is about. If you look at Rick's left hand, you can (kinda) see a scribbled face on his index finger and thumb. He used to talk to this "face" and get advice from it.
It had a name. So, the question is: what was the face's name?
The answer is at the end of this report.
On to a few other things.
I don't usually plug other websites (except my own, of course). However, in the case of Robert Berry's Weirdopalooza, I'll make an exception.
I don't think I've laughed so hard while visiting a wrestling page. Weirdopalooza is hilarious in a twisted way. Lots of obtuse features, bizarre pics, and biting observations. I can't decide whether my favourite feature is the Magic Bobbin' D-Lo Head, or the Captions Contest (which I've submitted pics for).
If Robert Berry's name is somewhat familiar, it's probably because you've spotted his work at ScoopTHIS. He's writing the SuCasa feature, a spoof of Micasa. Funny stuff.
Anyway, on to other stuff.
If you've seen my page lately, you know that I've been critical of Kevin Nash's booking. That's largely because for several weeks it seemed like only Nash's buddies were getting the pushes, and some of the other talent was being buried.
SuperBrawl was a great example. But things really turned around at Uncensored. And I'm not writing that because I'm a Flair mark. The booking lately has actually been interesting since the last pay-per-view. I'd like to think that Nash is paying attention to what the fans want.
Let's see if that keeps up tonight. Time to turn on the television...
- The winner is promised a Cruiserweight title shot tomorrow on Nitro.
- Do you guys really expect me to call all the moves in this one?
- Juvi looks like he recovered from that Vampiro match a few weeks back. Hope he's eating. Heh-heh. Never mind.
- Tony and Bobby tease Mike about Thunder.
- In the ring, Blitz starts with a hammerlock that's reversed.
- Juvi with a drop toe hold and a pin attempt. 87 count. Well, okay, two.
- Blitz with an ankle lock that's Juvi switches to a pin attempt. 61. Er, two.
- Blitz with a headlock. He's thrown over, and catches Juvi in another headlock.
- They go to the ropes. Monkeyflip by Juvi. Tilt-a-whirl by Blitz.
- Chops by Blitz. Juvi with some chops. Must have learned them from Vampiro.
- Blitz with a cartwheel elbow, ala The Great Muta.
- These guys aren't burning it up like I thought they would.
- Juvi blocks a turnbuckle shot.
- Flying vault into a dropkick by Juvi.
- Blitz outside to waste some time. Juvi dives at him. Not bad.
- Back inside, Juvi with a brainbuster.
- Man, Blitz's outfits are among the doofiest in rasslin'.
- Juvi with a rack. Blitz spins out of it into a pin attempt. 73! Er, two.
- Blitz with a jumping back kick, chop and a couple of kicks. Juvi goes out.
- Blitz pauses, and climbs the post. Juvi walks away, blowing the spot.
- Blitz flies at him on the other side of the ring, but Juvi nails him with a dropkick.
- Wonder how El Vampiro is doing right now? Just wondering.
- Back inside, Juvi plays with his hair and a "Juvi sucks" chant starts up.
- Juvi tries a tilt-a-whirl, but Blitz slips out.
- Blitz nails Juvi with a moonsault outside the ring.
- A couple of switches, and Juvi covers. Kickout.
- Blitz does a strange counter of a top rope move. He then misses a sky twister.
- Juvi tries the driver, but fails.
- Blitz with a rolling move off the top.
- He again sets Juvi up on the top. Juvi grabs Blitz and nails the Juvi Driver from the top.
- 1-2-3.
- Not the match I was expecting. Blitz looked a little slower than I've seen him before.
- Hak out with a table, barbed wire and Chas-titties.
- Yowzah!
- Seeing Sandman, er Hak, in WCW has been somewhat, um, sobering.
- BBB out with a cart of plunder. Hak meets him.
- They fight near the entranceway.
- Hak pulls a table out from under a horse wagon that's part of the Spring Stampede set.
- Hak places BBB on top of it, and does a leap from the top of the wagon!
- Wow!!!
- The wrestlers keep using the words "hardcore" and "extreme."
- They brawl to ringside.
- BBB nails Hak with various implements. The ring's a mess.
- BBB tosses a garbage can, and hits Hak on the head. Ouch.
- BBB with a broom. It's like curling!
- Sweep! Sweep! Sweep! Hurry! Hurry hard!!!
- Hak blocks a vertical suplex, and BBB lands weird on Hak's knee.
- Hak finds a ladder under the ring.
- He works over Bigelow with it.
- Hak to the top. Somersault onto the ladder. Ow! Dammit!
- What a nut!
- Hak bulldogs BBB onto the ladder.
- Hak finds a table under the ring. He's finding tables everywhere.
- How ridiculous.
- Sorry, I gotta take a break and head to the washroom.
- Hey, there's a table in my toilet!
- Back to the match... Hak finds a guard rail under the ring.
- Maybe he'll find Tony Atlas if he looks hard enough.
- Hak sets up a ladder in the ring, and Bigelow topples it, sending Hak through a table outside.
- BBB set a ladder in one corner and a rail in the other.
- He flings Hak into the ladder.
- Hak with the crutch. He places Bigelow on the safety rail and tries a legdrop from the top.
- BBB holds up the guard rail.
- Chastity tries to use a fire extinguisher on Bigelow. It doesn't work.
- Bigelow turns the tables and uses it on her.
- Sandman, er Hak, with a Russian leg sweep on the rail.
- They go to the top.
- Bigelow gets the advantage, and Death Valley Drivers Hak through a table.
- It's over. You can count to 87. Hak's off to Never Never Land.
- Tony tells the fans not to try this in their backyards.
- Corpulent Canada-hater Mark Madden interviews Juventud Guerrera.
- Who gives a rat's ass?
- Riggs has a new gimmick, it seems. He has a mirror and he's adoring himself.
- Shades of "The Narcissist" Lex Luger.
- Riggs with a Rick Rude-style gyration.
- Arm drag by Riggs. Life is great.
- Riggs plays to the camera, and Tony calls him "ruggedly good looking."
- Mikey with a ruggedly good-looking offence. Dropkicks and elbows.
- Riggs falls to the floor.
- Mikey follows. Left-handed punch.
- Back inside. Guillotine leg drop by Mikey.
- Mikey dropkicks Riggs into the rail. He follows with a headscissors on the floor.
- Mikey misses a second legdrop, and Riggs shoots him from the apron to the rail.
- Say what you want about these former ECW workers, they take nasty bumps.
- Riggs takes control inside.
- Another gyration.
- He places a finger on Mikey's chest for the cover. One count.
- Riggs with a dropkick. He chokes Mikey.
- "Boring" chant.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Riggs stretches Mikey with a rear chinlock.
- Riggs slaps Mikey and whips him to the corner.
- Mikey with a series of kicks and a pin attempt. Legsweep.
- FrankenMikey! Pin attempt. Riggs foot on the ropes.
- They bound off the ropes, until Riggs hits a clothesline.
- Pin. Poor Mikey.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Konnan walks out in his own particular idiom.
- Konnan rushes through his catchphrases. I guess even he's getting bored with his schtick.
- Here comes La Cucaracha, er Disco.
- Disco is wearing a late-'70s Urban Cowboy glitter hat.
- Nice. But not what Schiavone would call "rugged."
- Konnan calls Disco a "straight up strawberry" because he doesn't know how to dress.
- Strawberry gets the initial advantage with a beatdown.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Strawberry steals Konnan's rolling clothesline.
- Strawberry to the top, Konnan gets up and speaks for his crotch.
- Konnan takes the advantage.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Konnan with a series of punches, and an "Oil of Olay" for the crowd.
- Thrilling.
- Strawberry regains the advantage.
- I know these guys have moves in their arsenals. I guess they're saving them for Slamboree.
- Konnan with the rolling armdrag.
- Strawberry with a chin lock. Both of these guys must need the rest already.
- Strawberry with a swinging neckbreaker. Hmm. A move.
- Another chin lock.
- The Strawberry Disco Cucaracha with a clothesline.
- He goes to the top. Elbow. Two count.
- Chin lock. Geez... this is slow.
- Konnan with a hip toss. Strawberry throws him out of the fruit bowl, er, ring.
- Strawberry gets tossed into the ringpost and the safety rail.
- Strawberry regains the advantage in the ring.
- Fistdrop. Two count.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Another headlock. Clubber fest by these two technicians.
- Strawberry misses an elbow from the top.
- Clubber fest, and Konnan hits a clothesline.
- Cradle DDT by Konnan. Disco, I mean Strawberry, kicks out.
- Konnan with another pin attempt.
- What follows is a series of weak switches and tosses into the ropes.
- Konnan with the chartbuster. I mean, the last dance. 1-2-3.
- Tony comments on how good Konnan looks.
- Hmm...
- The tag champs meet each other in centre ring.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Another match that could be tough to call.
- Hey, order the pay-per-view, already.
- Headlock by Rey. Well, we're off to a fast start.
- Okay, here we go.
- Off the ropes series.
- They trade monkeyflips. Shades of Edouard Carpantier.
- Kidman with a vault and then headscissors.
- Kidman drops Rey on the floor.
- Kidman with a crossbody block.
- Rey whips Kidman into the rail. Kidman drops Rey onto it.
- Legdrop on the floor by Kidman. Back inside.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Rey scissors Kidman to the outside. Kidman catches Rey.
- Rey throws Kidman into the rail. Rey into the steps. Back in the ring.
- Rey with a cannonball off the top. Ow!
- I think that knocked the wind out of Kidman.
- Rey with a finger lock. He tries a hurancanrana. Kidman turns it into a powerbomb.
- Two count.
- Tony and Bobby are fighting again.
- Kidman with a backbreaker. Cover. Two.
- Kidman with a pancake powerbomb. He slides Rey outside.
- He positions Rey for a shooting star press. Kidman hurt his knee.
- The announcers talk about how slow this match is. They're right.
- Kidman to the top. He catches a mouth full of dropkick.
- Rey puts Kidman on the top. Bulldog. Two count.
- Rey with a spinwheel kick.
- Kidman is slowwwwwww. I wonder if he's really hurt.
- Kidman backdrops Rey.
- Whip to the corner. Kidman with a powerslam. Two.
- Rey clotheslines Kidman to the floor.
- Rey with a flip off the top onto Kidman.
- Back inside, Rey tries a clothesline from the top. Kidman nails him first.
- Rey with another hurnacannanabananarana.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Rey misses a shoulderdrive into the corner.
- Kidman tries a pancake. Rey plants Kidman's face into the mat.
- Kidman with a facebuster, he goes to the top.
- Rey meets him.
- Kidman with a sunset flip from the top. Two.
- Kidman misses a clothesline. Rey with a top rope bulldog. Two.
- Kidman with a springing bulldog.
- Rey fakes out Kidman, who winds up on the apron.
- Rey with a legdrop and a moonsault. Two.
- Rey tries a powerbomb. Kidman plants his face in the mat.
- Kidman to the top. Rey knocks him off balance.
- Reyacanrana from the top. 1-2-3. The title is retained.
- Humperdido! Poor Kidman.
- Saturn & Raven bring a table.
- I wonder if they stole it from my washroom while I was sitting here typing.
- They set up the table outside the ring.
- Your referee is Horseman wannabe Charles Robinson.
- Saturn and Benoit to start.
- Heenan asks is Saturn is wearing mudflaps.
- They take it outside, where Saturn gets the best of the Vanilla Midgets.
- Inside, Raven suplexes Benoit on his face as Saturn hits a bodypress. Nice.
- Drop toehold by Saturn, Raven with an elbowdrop at the same time.
- Raven outside. Malenko and Arn work him over.
- Back inside. Benoit chops Raven.
- Malenko in for a double team.
- Malenko with a suplex followed by a flying kick.
- Raven cradles Benoit, but Robinson is talking smack at Malenko.
- Benoit with a clothesline.
- The Vanilla Midgets work over Raven.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Malenko spits at Saturn.
- Raven with a clothesline.
- Saturn in. He attacks the Horseys.
- Saturn pulls a mudflap over Benoit's head and lays down some punches.
- Saturn and Raven double-team Malenko.
- Benoit saves Malenko from the Saturn DVD.
- Cloverleaf by Malenko as Raven and Benoit battle.
- Saturn with a DVD. A Benoit headbutt saves Malenko from a pin.
- Order is restored. Benoit bitch-slaps The Beautiful Saturn, The Beautiful Saturn.
- The Horseys work over Saturn. Benoit drop toe hold sets up a sliding kick by Malenko.
- Malenko with a sleeper.
- Raven slams the turnbuckle and that starts the fans clapping. Weird.
- Benoit decks Raven to the floor and covers Saturn. Two.
- Benoit with a Northern Lights suplex. Two.
- Outside, Malenko works over Saturn.
- Inside, Saturn recovers and nearly pins Benoit.
- Snapmare by Malenko. Headlock. The fans are clapping for Saturn.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Belly-to-back suplex by Saturn.
- Raven in. He beats down the Midgets.
- He clotheslines Malenko outside.
- Raven with a chair. Benoit tastes the steel with a drop toehold.
- Anderson saves Malenko from a Saturn tabling on the outside. Saturn's down.
- Raven DDT's Malenko. Malenko's down.
- Benoit follows with a headbutt on Raven. Both Benoit and Raven are down.
- Malenko rolls over and gets the pin.
- Hmmm... any chance that Booker will win?
- After all, Steiner's a buddy of the booker that matters.
- Holler if you hear me.
- Big Poppa Pump talks smack to the fans on the way out.
- They should be thankful he's not driving to the ring.
- Here comes Booker. If he wins, he'll be the first-ever black WCW US champion.
- Before the match, Steiner lets some woman touch his boobs and then he taunts her man.
- Steiner swings at many of the fans.
- He's either barely in control of himself, or he's putting on a great act.
- Inside, Steiner poses for Booker, and stalls.
- I think he called Booker a "bitch."
- Steiner leaves the ring and jumps the guard rail to intimidate a fan.
- Back inside, the match is finally on.
- Booker with a takedown.
- They rassle on the mat a bit, and Steiner hits Booker with shots that look a little stiff.
- Booker recovers. Dropkick. Steiner outside.
- Booker looks like he's clicking tonight. His moves are fluid.
- Into the corner, Steiner beats down Booker.
- Steiner misses a clothesline and Booker hits the forearm and then the back kick.
- Booker's looking great. I can't think of a better natural wrestler in either of the big two right now.
- Booker clothesline to the floor. Brawl on the outside.
- They're back in. Steiner asks for a time out.
- Steiner whips Booker into the corner, but gets a boot.
- Booker whips Steiner into two corners and delivers clotheslines both times.
- Steiner crotches Booker, and Booker falls outside.
- Steiner throws Booker into the rail. He picks up a chair and hits Booker.
- Inside, the Pump hits a clothesline and an elbow.
- Another Steiner beatdown in the corner.
- Steiner with a backbreaker.
- A belly-to-belly suplex. Steiner grabs the ref when Booker kicks out.
- Steiner with a blatant kick to the groin.
- Uh, how about a disqualification, ref? Ref?
- Whatever happened to the notion of rules in pro wrestling?
- Steiner with a bearhug.
- Booker tries to power out, but Steiner counters with an overhead suplex.
- Booker recovers with a kick and a DDT.
- Slugfest.
- Booker with a knee and the spinwheel kick.
- Steiner pulls the ref in the way of Booker. Ref down.
- Booker with the axe kick. Pancake.
- The ref is still down. Booker with a kick and a cover.
- Booker tries to revive the ref. Steiner hits the ref.
- Booker with a spinebuster. "Sidewalk slam!" screams Tony.
- Steiner recovers and traps Booker on the top.
- Frankensteiner from the second rope.
- Steiner grabs the ref's hand and starts counting. Two.
- Steiner pulls out an international object.
- Booker recovers and tries a vertical suplex.
- While in the suplex, Steiner nails Booker with the object.
- The Pump pulls the ref over. 1-2-3.
- Too bad it had to be a screwjob.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Corpulent Canada-hater Mark Madden interviews Rey Mysterio, Jr.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- The other booker is accompanied by his entourage; Elizabeth and The Total Parcel, Lex Luger.
- Goldberg out. He coughs up some smoke.
- The bell rings, and Nash stalls.
- "Hey, yo." Wolfpack in the house. Yeah, fine.
- The announcers play up the fact that it was Nash who ended Goldberg's streak.
- They lock up. And in walks my lady, Trixie.
- Nash with the hip checks in the corner.
- Trixie says she wants to take over this report.
- Nash with the boot choke. Forearms.
- The fans turn to watch a fight in the stands as Nash measures Goldberg for a shot.
- Boot choke.
- Trixie really wants to take over.
- Elizabeth to the apron, and Nash with a low blow.
- Nash tells the ref he took Goldberg down with a forearm.
- Nash clothesline. Cover. 35. Well, two.
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Nash with a side slam. Two count.
- Goldberg... is... trying... to... recover...
- Nash with a choke on the ropes.
- Nash pulls up his pants and poses.
- Nash misses the big foot and swallows a Goldberg shoulderdrive.
- Goldberg with a front chancery into a hip toss. Nice.
- Nash misses some clumsy strikes.
- Goldberg plays the crowd.
- Goldberg tries a spear, and Nash leapfrogs him! Goldberg hits the ref!
- Luger nails Goldberg with a chair.
- Goldberg recovers and puts a vice grip on Nash's nads.
- Goldberg sets up for another spear and hits it.
- Goldberg signals for the jackhammer.
- He hits it.
- 1-2-3.
- Okay, Nash. I'll give you credit. You did the J-O-B on the P-P-V.
- Good stuff.
- Texas Tornado rules. All four men in the ring at the same time.
- Randy Savage is your referee. He comes to the ring with Gorgeous George.
- No, not that Gorgeous George. This Gorgeous George:
- Tony points out that Savage has had issues with all four of the men in the match.
- Flair's out first. Any chance he'll walk out with the belt? My money's on Hogan.
- The others come out.
- Has anyone explained how Flair got trapped in a four-man match where there must be a winner?
- I thought Flair was WCW President. I thought he made his own rules. Did I miss something?
- Trixie's bugging me again. She wants to call this match.
- The match begins. Sting and DDP brawl. So do Hogan and Flair.
- Flair and Hogan outside.
- Sting nearly locks DDP in the Scorpion Death Lock in the opening moments.
- DDP with a neckbreaker on Sting. Two count.
- Sting with a splash on DDP. Flair stops the pin.
- Hogan in. He and DDP brawl.
- Old enemies Flair and Sting battle. Flair tossed off the top.
- Damn. This is actually an interesting match. Lots of action.
- DDP and Sting outside.
- Flair and Hogan battle inside. Hogan whips Flair with the belt.
- Hogan clotheslines and punches.
- Flair falls on his face.
- Flair gets up and digs a thumb in Hogan's eye.
- Here's something we haven't seen before: Hogan no-selling Flair chops.
- Sting again tries the Scorpion on DDP. But he breaks it to save Flair from a pin following a Hogan leg drop.
- Flair goes for Hogan's knee.
- Hogan's selling it like it hurt.
- Flair works on the knee some more. Figure four by Flair.
- Sting and DDP brawl outside.
- Hogan reverses the leglock. DDP kicks Hogan and puts Flair out of the ring.
- DDP puts the Bret Hart ringpost figure four on Hogan.
- Sting pulls DDP off Hogan.
- Flair goes after Hogan. Hogan's slumped in the corner.
- Interesting...
- The trainer is on his way out with security. And they're taking Hogan to the lockerroom.
- Very interesting.
- Okay. Trixie wants to take over this report.
- Fine, I'll go take the table out of the toilet if it will shut her up.
- Take it away Trixie...
- Why's it called a figure four? Looks more like a pretzel to me.
- DDP is just sitting there watching the match.
- Okay, Trixie, enough of you.
- Sting and Flair battle. Flair's outside, and DDP attacks Sting.
- Flair to the apron. He's in. DDP clothesline. Two count.
- Wonder when Hogan's coming back?
- I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
- Sting with a splash on DDP.
- DDP tries the Diamond Cutter. He fails. Sting plants DDP's face into the mat.
- DDP switches a tombstone piledriver on Sting. Flair saves Sting.
- Flair tosses DDP outside.
- Sting places Flair on the top.
- Superplex. Both men are hurt.
- Sting with a slowwwwww cover. Two.
- Flair with a sleeper on Sting. Page with a sleeper on Flair.
- Oh, what now, Trixie?
- Looks like a kinky threesome.
- Hey! Stop it!
- Double jawbreaker breaks up the sleepers.
- DDP and Flair beat up Sting.
- Sting no-sells and double-clotheslines both men.
- He beats them down.
- Sting slams DDP face first into the mat. Splash on Flair.
- Is Sting gonna win?
- Scorpion Death Lock on Flair. DDP breaks it up.
- Still waiting for Hogan...
- DDP tries to suplex Sting. Sting reverses it into a Scorpion Death Drop.
- Flair breaks the count.
- Flair figure four on Sting.
- DDP struggles to get up, and Sting rolls to the ropes.
- Flair doesn't break the move, so Savage nails Flair with his top rope elbow.
- DDP beats down Sting and Flair.
- Diamond cutter on Flair.
- 1
- 2
- ...3
- Holy poop on a stick!
- DDP won!!!
- That's great. But what about Hogan?
- What an incredible surprise.
- He's the one guy that I didn't think would win.
- That was a hell of an ending. And a hell of a good contest.
- Two good pay-per-views in a row.
- And they're wrapping up the broadcast quickly.
Er, that's it!
Except to say this: visit The Slayground after I post this for some observations on DDP's rise to the top of WCW.
I wonder what Vampiro's doing now.
Trivia answer: The scribble's name was Alex.