How about "Mammaries on a Mission"? The "Nipple World Order"? "Two Much"? Er....maybe not. Thanks to Official DDT Digest Fraternity Brother AC Leex for the assist on that one.
So CRZ mentions last week that as the people are saying all the Rock's catchphrases with him it's getting to be like the Rocky Horror Picture Show and I got to thinking things would be more fun if they went the full way with it. (oh btw, for those of you who take things way too seriously, don't blame me, go bug CRZ for inspiring this.)
First, every time Maivia says "Rock" the fans all yell back Rock! ala Twisted Sister's classic I Wanna Rock.
When he says "lay the smack down" the fans do a single hand clap.
Every time he says "electrifying" the fans all make the "bZzZZzzzZZ" zapping sound (If you can get tazer props that's great.)
Rooty-poot candy ass results in the fans showering him with candy. Since I don't think there is any donkey shape candy I guess Wrestlemania sponsors M&Ms would be apropos, though if you can get an Animal Cracker Zebra, that might be close enough.
"Know your role" gets a "You're a jobber." I figure that would be a good universal response. It'd be hard to get people to do JTTS and midcarder and main eventer and all that. Though perhaps if I think about it, or someone more clever than me thinks about, we could find a non-wrestling response to 'know your role.' ('Role' can go several ways, as in dinner roll, dice roll ie 'Snake eyes!' an actor's role etc.)
"Piece of trailer park trash" gets a big redneck "Yeeeee-ha!"
"Take a left on Jabronie Ave" gets a 'And then where do you go?"
"Take a right on Know your role Blvd" gets a "And then what?"
"And check you in to the smack down (single handclap) hotel" can go several ways. 'One bed or two.' Would you like the honeymoon suite?' Something like that. I'm undecided.
Whenever he calls himself The Great One the fans yell "You're not Gretzky"
Whenever he calls himself The Chosen One the fans yell "You're not Jesus either." (I'm not sure about this one, the only Chosen One I really know is Iron Maiden's Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. I know the Jews are the Chosen People. Any help on this would be good.)
"If you smell" - since Maivia likes to take a break after smell it might be interesting to try to get every one to sniff twice when he's done with smell. How audible would 20,000 people sniffing in unison be? (Boy, I never thought I'd ever write *that* sentence in my life.)
"what the rock (rock!) is cooking." receives a "Liverwurst and broccoli!" except in the summer when you get "Hamburgers and hot dogs on a charcoal grill!"
"the millions .. and millions of" is something I can't think of a response for. Too bad he didn't do 'billions' in which case some vague Carl Sagan ref could be made.
And I figure since Maivia is a wrestler (remember wrestling?) they could do a bit for the people's elbow where the fans all stand up at the start and pantomime the removing elbow pad, everyone run to left then run back to the right, then run back to their seat and 'drop' the elbow as they sit make down in their chairs. Then they all yell out "Let's do the el - bow agaaaain!"
Personally, I think this would make Maivia much more entertaining. Instead of mindlessly chanting along, this is interactive. I wish I was rich, I'd buy all the tickets to a Raw and give them to RHPS people who would promise to do the routine, just to see the whole thing in effect at least once.
Reprinted without permission - hope he doesn't mind...
Ok, I give up. Nitro has been on for 20 minutes and Hogan is babbling. No matches yet.
I had to turn it off. I hate the WWF but I will turn it on at 9:00 and hope for something better. I will keep reading your reports to see what I am missing and to see what torment you have to go thru. Good luck comrade.
I'm about to the point of drilling a hole in my head to let the pain out. It's now 8:30pm with no matches. Hell, we haven't even seen Tony Schiavone yet!
I got back from my Organic Chemistry exam at 7:15 and it is now 7:50. For the last 35 minutes, not only have their been no matches but I have not even seen the freakin' arena yet. These paid announcements are getting ridiculous. I must have missed something in the first 20 minutes because this is ludicrous.
As infrequently as I write to you, I usually do so after Nitro has ended at least.
However, tonight's show (or lack thereof) is such a terrible excuse for wrestling that something needs to be said. So far tonight we've seen Hogan (three times) talking about Ric Flair's ego, countless Riki Rachtman-at-Brown Nitro Party updates (as I see now, THIS is where the wrestlers all went), Bagwell and Steiner as private detectives, a special look at AC Jazz, and recently a firing range scene. Not to mention Konnan's Music Video, Part Deux. And now we've got Hogan, Nash, and David Flair's "mysterious benefactor" getting tipsy and talking about Flair's ego. Ugh.
I have a feeling that tonight will go down as one of the most infamous nights in WCW history...as much as I hated to think that the company was coming down from the inside, it all seems apparent. They hyped Goldberg-DDP later tonight. It had better be a *****, send-the-kids-to-the-neighbors-and-mark-out-like-a-little-schoolgirl type of match if that's all we get to see.
If this is the way aspiring bookers should learn to hype upcoming PPVs, I have poor hopes for the future of wrestling.
And that click that you hear as I send this is every television tuned to WCW in the continental US changing over to the USA Network. It's amazing that after getting walloped so badly, WCW could put this versus a taped Raw.
Did you hear the voice saying "Stay there, Jerry" just before going to
It was like hearing the director giving instructions in a cheap porno short.
How the hell could anyone book such half-assed shit? First, you get absolutely NO F***ING WRESTLING for ONE WHOLE F***ING HOUR! Then you get treated to classics like Bret Hart vs. Van Hammer. Your two "name" matches, one (Bigelow/Raven/Hak) just fades away with no ending, the other (Flair/Goldberg) an unsatisfying screwjob.
What do they think they're going to do here? Let's see - WCW's angles are uninspired and feuds outside the nWo almost non-existent. The only saving grace they have right now is their wrestling. So, the Nitro before the PPV, why not have a show with the bare minimum of wrestling? I don't get it. Maybe someone can explain it to me, but as for right now, I'm thoroughly disgusted.