The night starts off on a bad note, as my friend Tavio can't even make it into the arena, he has to duck off into some bushes, and "water" them. I pray to high heavens that it doesn't get worse by Hogan winning the battle royal, or worse yet, Judy Bagwell. No, wait, Hogan would be worse.Grimace sends the following arena report:
get in, and march straight to the T-shirt stand. Agh! No XL Jericho shirts! We trek around the Palace.
Just as I've given up hope, I finally find a place! Whoo-hoo! I whip out my $50!!!!! (My girlfriend wanted a shirt too) and buy a couple snazzy Jericho shirts. Tavio gets the lWo shirt. There's a new Horsemen shirt there, kinda good.
Oh, Lord, no, a K-Dog shirt. It's got a "gangster dog" on the back.
As we are waiting in line, we ask if anyone has seen the new El Dandy shirt. The 11-year old DIEHARD Wolfpac fans respond with a very intellectual, "He sucks. Nash is the bomb."
I go to the bathroom first, since the Judy Bagwell match is cancelled, that was my originally scheduled pee break. There is VOMIT on the floor. Looks like someone had beans.
Food now, and we hurry to our seats, not wanting to miss a beat! I go with a normal old hot dog while my Puerto Rican compadre chooses a fancy Italian sub.
D'oh!!!! WE GET STUCK BEHIND A SPOTLIGHT, and I can only see two of the rings clearly, and have to lean to the left to see the third. Oh well, it wasn't too bad.
Here's how bad Glacier's intros are....when his music came on, Tavio was still waiting for his sub. He got it, paid, and we walked HALFWAY ACROSS A STADIUM and to our seats....and Glacier was still prancing around. I hope Wrath makes it quick.
Tavio holds up our first sign of the night. "Glacier, hit down, forward, right, High Kick to do the Freeze Ray". Judging by the outcome, he didn't see our sign.
Match #1, by the way: Glacier vs. Wrath
Video of Bret vs. DDP feud on the screen, we can't hear it. Was it bad on TV, because it looked bad on Palacevision. We take this time to display some other of our fine signs, "El Dandy=Rating$", "Fit Finley is My Father", and "Lodi And Scott Putski: NEXT TAG CHAMPS!" More to come!
- Wrath takes it into the crowd. Glacier's taking a MASSIVE beating.
- Glacier gets the stuffings choked out of him with the cord at ringside. Hmm, I remember when these guys were first in WCW, they tried so hard to get Glacier over, and had him beat this guy and Kanyon (Mortis then), and he was still a dud with the crowd. Now look at Kanyon and especially Wrath's appeal, who seems to be getting more and more over. Gee, were we pushing the right guy back then??
- Agh, Glacier goes for the Cryonic Kick. I could tell from my seat he didn't hit, and I am in the upper deck.
- Glacier tries for his new move, the Asiatic Spike. Wrath grabs his arm, and pump-handles him. Meltdown time!! Splat. Bye Glacier.
- Your Winner: Wrath
Match #2: Stevie Ray w/Useless vs. Konnan w/Catch Phrases
Match #3: Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo vs. Saturn/Kaz Hayashi
- Sigh.....I wonder if this will suck as bad as the 14 or so matches they've had on Nitro, Thunder, and Saturday Night.
- During the Konnan speech, Tavio keeps his El Dandy sign up, shouting in Spanish the whole time. Everyone thinks he's "loco"....see? I'm bilingual too. By the way, do you think 95% of the people who scream Rowdy Rowdy even know what it means? I don't....but I don't scream it either.
- OH MY GOSH! THREE NEVER BEFORE SEEN MOVES BY KONNAN! I call one, a Rolling Clothesline, a Sit-Down Dropkick, and a Facebuster. Man, those are awesome, he should use those more often.
- Has anyone else noticed that Stevie Ray is very bad at getting hit with moves? Watch when he gets hit with a Facebuster, or a Cutter or something, you can see his elbows and arms block his fall way too much...it just looks bad.
- Stevie shows us his huge arsenal. Punches, kicks, more punches. Wow.
- Vincent is so useless. Konnan on the outside, Vincent, all you have to do is roll him back in the ring. You make THAT look bad. Geez, can I get a job Eric? I'll even job to Goldberg if you're running out of guys.
- Those crazy guys goof, and the Slapjack is not felt on Konnan's brain. Instead, he gets DQ'ed by pushing the ref, yawn.
- Woah! Booker T. comes to save Stevie Ray from further punishment. But Stevie is not happy for the help. Booker is supposed to fight Scott Norton tonight. I predict Stevie runs in, setting up Booker T.-Stevie Ray at Starrcade.
- Winner: Stevie Ray via DQ
Match #4: Kidman vs. Juvi for the Cruiser belt.
- Sonny Onoo is from "his many homes around the world" ha. He's also 3-0! Catching up to Goldberg!
- I hope Kaz don't turn on Saturn. And if they lose, I hope Saturn doesn't get pinned.
- Nate points out that the screen has Perry Saturn written. I thought he was just Saturn.
- Onoo has a couple guys with him. Miller and Hayashi start. Miller gives the 5-count, but Kaz tags in Saturn who proceeds with a pummelling.
- Onoo tries to pay off Kaz in the match, but Kaz refuses.
- I know everyone complains, but I think I enjoy the Cat. I mean, his wrestling pretty much sucks, but honestly, I know he's getting over as a heel for me, cuz I am really enjoying watching Saturn kick the stuffing out of him.
- When Sonny Onoo gets tagged out, he gets fanned down and has foot powder applied. ha.
- I made fun of this match more than I paid attention. It ends when Saturn has Onoo in a front facelock type deal, and Miller hits a kick to the face. Onoo falls on top of Saturn for the pin. Weak end.
- Winners: Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo
Match #5: Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner in the Crap-A-Thon
- OK, this match RULED. I didn't recognize Kidman's music, either it was new, or I just don't pay attention to it really.
- Mean Gene runs out like an oaf as Juvi is coming to the ring??? OH, he has joined the LWO! I didn't even notice the shirt.
- I make a good point that we all ponder. "If you are not that big to begin with, and look like a woman, does it really HELP your tough guy image to have purple tights on? At least Kidman looks a bit more ruthless, wearing his Wife Beater shirt".
- They used all 3 rings in this one. Juvi slipped trying to jump from one set of ropes to another, then onto Kidman. Kidman did a flying bodypress from one ring to another, and I believe a dropkick.
- Rey Misterio comes down. I can smell what Flyin Fury is cookin. He grabs Kidmans leg as Juvi tries a frankensteiner off the top!
- One other interesting note, at least for a while it was true. A guy in our crowd consistently pointed out to us that LWO sucked, and "Wolfpac ruled". I shut him up by saying, "If that's so, then why does the LWO have more titles?" Ah, drunks, aren't they grand?
- Kidman wins with the Shooting Star Press! NEW CHAMP! So much for that LWO with more belts than Wolfpac thing.
- Winner: Kidman, new champ!
- After the match, Eddie forces Rey to make a decision, stay LWO or leave. Rey throws off his shirt and runs away. Tavio comments, "That's how real Mexican's fight, they run away." Before I get any racial slack, Tavio IS Mexican, so he's not racist.
Match #6: Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash
- OK, Road Wild, Fall Brawl, Halloween Havoc, and now World War 3. That's 4 PPV cards in a row with Steiner vs. Steiner scheduled. Geez.
- That ref, I would say is related to Buff. He dances around a lot like him.
- Steiner's music comes on, no Rick. Reminds me of last year, when a certain MONSTER named Goldberg got laid out by Mongo!
- They show on the big screen NWO Hollywood beating down Rick Steiner. Giant drags him out and feeds him to Big Poppa Roids. A beating is now in session.
- Match doesn't go for a long time, and here comes Goldberg??? HUGE pop for the champ. Goldie spears Scott Steiner! WOW! He lifts up that ref and HEAVES him into the next ring. Here's the thing, watch the tape, the guy isn't even holding on to balance the weight, it was just sheer power! Man, Goldberg, say what you want, the guy's strong as an ox.
- He celebrates with Rick in the ring. Goldberg chant.
- Winner: No contest
Match #7: Chris JEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRICCCCCHOO vs. eh, some bum. for the most important belt in WCW, the TV title.
- Much rumored is the reuniting of the Outsiders. With everyone saying Nash is gonna win World War 3, I dunno, yet.
- Scott Hall comes out with basically ALL of NWO white, except Hogan. Oh, here comes Bischoff. Yippee.
- He gets on the mic, and I can tell what's happening now. "Scott, survey says, GET HIM!" NWO proceeds to clubber Scott Hall. Gee, whoever will save him?
- Nash to the rescue. Man, his knees must be bad, he's hobbling. They clear the ring, and Hall gives the Outsiders sign. Crowd is into it, BIG time, with the Outsiders chant. Nash doesn't return, and leaves the ring.
- Winner: No Contest, again.
Match #8: World War 3 battle royal??
- Jericho comes out and we hold up a new sign, "Hey Jericho, march around the ring 7 times." (If ya' know the bible, you'll laugh.)
- Ralphus is here as well. I saw a kid with his own JPS shirt (Jericho Personal Security). It wasn't a half shirt though.
- I wonder if Bobby Duncum's gimmick is a cowboy, or a guy stuck in a 70's wrestling timewarp?
- Anyone else hear the rumor that Jericho-Goldberg was supposed to be at WW3, but the egos backstage of the big guys didn't think Jericho was "ready" to main event. Funny thing, his match is on AFTER Hall and Nash, Steiners, and there's only 3 more after it. So ha! Jerks.
- As much as I'd like to give a close play by play, all I can say is this. Bobby Duncum Jr, man of 342 clotheslines.
- Jericho DID however hit the Lionsault!! It was out of nowhere. Good match I s'pose, although I think Bobby forgot Jericho was the heel, as he was pretty rough with a guy in the crowd, taking something from him.
- Bobby is distracted by Ralphus, and I have to endure seeing his back exposed. Jericho hits Cowboy with the TV title, and gets the win!! Whoo hoo!
- Winner: Chris Jericho!!!!
Main Event: Bret Hart vs. DDP for the US title.
- Hey, if the whole PPV revolves around the Battle Royal, shouldn't it be the main event? There's still supposed to be two matches, DDP vs. Bret and Norton vs. Booker T!
- First time, they introduce EACH guy individually. On the screen where the wrestlers enter, they are flashing names real quick. I saw British Bulldog on there, although I've heard he's out of WCW.
- Different rules this year. If your feet touch the ground, or you get pinned or tap out, you lose.
- OH MY GOSH! YES!! 60 men are out, unlike last year, when guys did late run-ins! AND NO HOGAN!!! I already predict Nash empties his ring, and he rumbles with Giant.
- Weird note, probably the biggest pop, at least from where I was at, was for Kidman. That's cool though.
- Jericho came out clutching his stomach.
- BENOIT IS IN IT!!!
- I get to see Barry Darsow in his golfer outfit as well. Hmm, no Bret Hart, no Bigelow. No Hogan as I said....considering the only real rumors tossed around were those three and Nash....I think it's a safe bet to say Big Sexy is winning it, plus, he's a hometown boy.
- OK, my best view is Ring 3, with Nash. NOOOOO!!! Norman Smiley, first man out.
- Holy geez, Nash is chucking guys like he's in the Royal Rumble or something! I can't see Ring 1, but I see Jericho on the floor. How'd he get tossed? :-(
- Nash's ring is empty, and the others are still just about full. Man. Scott Hall throws out Psychosis with the Fallaway Slam! Cool!
- Hard to remember everything that happened here. Alex Wright came oh-so-close many times. Eventually everyone in Ring 1 beat on Giant, but to no avail.
- As Saturn and The Cat are out, they fight the whole way back. Oh yeah, Luger's in it, I think he's got an outside shot of winning, if Nash doesn't.
- I remember the Final 13. Nash, Luger and Konnan of Wolfpack. Giant, Norton, Scott Steiner, and Stevie Ray from Black and White. Scott Hall alone. Booker T. and Wrath as well. Then there's 3 Horsemen still, whoo! Benoit, Dean and Mongo!
- Mongo and Norton both go out, in close times. Stevie Ray got chucked too, 10 left! Go BENOIT!!!!
- Woah! I thought a moron fan jumped the ring and was taking a beating, it's Bam Bam! The wrestlers beat him down, and here comes Goldberg!!!! HUGE POP for the champ, and the brawl starts. The wrestlers watch as they attempt to go at it.
- OK, I don't know if this was on camera, but my friend said Goldberg tried to spear Bam bam, and Bammer didn't budge!!! Was it on TV? Did he no-sell the spear????
- Oh yeah, Wrath is out, along with Konnan, and Booker T. and Steiner.
- Now it's Luger, Nash, Hall, Giant, BENOIT AND MALENKO!!!!!! GO!!! Ah, I know they won't win, but still.
- Well, it's Luger or Nash, since Giant has already jobbed to Goldberg, along with Hall.
- All 5 guys team up and eliminate the Giant! Benoit and Malenko follow up, darn it.
- Nash, Luger and Hall slug it out, against each other!! long story short, reminds me of WW3 96, Luger racks Hall, and nash boots them both out, ala Giant eliminating Luger and Nash! NASH WINS!
- Winner: Kevin Nash, hey, at least Goldberg could be in another good PPV match.
It was a great show to attend live. Kidman-Juvi ruled, and I got to meet Kanyon and Dave Penzer afterwards. Kanyon signed my El Dandy poster.
- This is the Main event?
- OK, I like Bret. I don't like DDP. But here's the thing, this match is predictable. I've seen it before, several times.
- Highlight, and I KNOW this wasn't on camera. Someone has a GIGANTIC inflated penis in the crowd! By gigantic, I mean like 10 feet!!!!!! They get it and pop it quick, but what I wanna know....how did they sneak it in to begin with? It was at LEAST 10 feet.
- I'm tired right now, so basically, Bret thought he won, DDP got the cutter and kept his gold.
One other sign I hoisted when he made his entrance in the battle royal: "LA PARKA, Spanish for "The Park-a"
Thanks, buh-bye now.
Let me start out by saying the beer prices at the Palace have been "jacked" (did I say that?) a buck fifty since the Bob Dylan show earlier this month. What's up with that?
Needless to say, damn near every match was a letdown.
Let's start from the beginning.
Wrath and Glacier. As soon as I see Glacier come to the entrance I figure I have some time so I go out to the lobby area. I use the ATM and get an LWO shirt for my wife. I get in line for a coke ($2.50) and head back to my seat. Glacier is posing mid-ring. Good timing. Wrath comes out looking confused and lost. Match begins. Wrath sets up the meltdown. I fugure I have some time so I run out to my car, change my oil and check my tire pressure. Passenger rear a little low so I drive about 5 miles to the gas station and fill it. I buy some beef jerky while I'm there and get a Detroit Free Press to read during the Cat's match. I head back to the arena and my seat just as Wrath completes the move. Wrath wins again.
Stevie Ray and Konnan. I was prepared for this. I asked a bunch of people sitting around me to join in. As Konnan spewed "Detroit is bout it bout it and..." we yelled "F*ck You!" Throughout the match I'm yelling "Same four moves, same four moves," and then, "Carpetmuncher!!" Stevie gets hit with that painful looking "slapjack" and Konnan begins punching him on the mat. Gets himself DQ'd. Apparently he didn't break at the five count. Poor Konnan, can't win even with a knocked out opponent.
Good God. It's The Cat. Wade, I just couldn't force myself to sit there, so I did the next best thing. I went to the bathroom.
I make it back to see Kidman coming to the ring. Yes! Great match as I knew it would be, definitely the best of the night. I will always be in awe of the Shooting Star Press. Great to see Kidman get the belt back.
Steiner vs Steiner. Let the crap begin. No match really. Scott got some amazingly loud boos. This is what was really amazing... when Penzer mentioned Goldberg at the beginning he got quite a lot of boos himself. But when he came out to help Rick Steiner the crowd went friggin' nuts!
Hall vs Nash. Again, no match. I was really looking forward to this one too, if just to see them get back together. I think Nash's head is getting a bit big.
Jericho vs Duncum. Let me interject here and say I really like Bobby Duncum Jr. He's got a lot of that old time (at least old time to me) style. No bull. Just hurtin'. I could see this guy being a great Horseman. What do you think? Pretty lame match this time though. The Nitro last week was much better.
Battle Royal time. Yes! Norman Smiley, La Parka, Barry "Stinkin'" Darsow, Beautiful Bobby Eaton, Barry Horowitz! Norman got a huge pop from my section! I was dying! I was screaming "Viva La Parka! Viva La Parka" through the entrances. Something weird happened here. I don't know if it showed up on TV, but at the very beginning of the match, Scott Steiner and Bobby Eaton fell out of the ring to the floor. We figured they were out, but a few minutes later we noticed they were both back in the ring. Norman Smiley was the first to go over. Is there no God? La Parka held his own until he tangled with Kevin Nash. La Parka went right for him too. At least he's got *alls! So much going on it was hard to keep track. Anyhoo, Bam Bam runs in and Goldberg makes another non wrestling appearance. Pretty exciting. Those are two big boys and I'll be looking forward to see Bam Bam carry Goldberg through a match. Nash finally wins.
Michael Buffer announces DDP vs Bret Hart. The only thing that made this match interesting was the enormous inflatable penis that was floating down toward the ring. No it wasn't Alex Wright, but a real inflatable penis. Unfortunately security grabbed it before it got close to the ring. I started a large "We want the Penis" chant. No avail. Bret Hart brings in a chair. A few seconds later I stand and point to the entranceway and yell "Oh my God! Here comes La Parka!" A guy behind my yells "The Chairman!" A dozen or so heads turn to the entranceway, and not seeing La Parka, turn back to the match. Wishful thinking on my part. A minute after that I stand and point in the other direction and yell "Oh my God! Here comes the Penis!!" Much laughter. A guy behind me is yelling "Trailer Park, Trailer Park," through the whole match. Another guy is yelling "Hit him with a foreign object!" over and over. Another guy is yelling anti-Canadian remarks and is pissing off a guy near him. The Trailer Park guy now is yelling things like "Hit him in the pancreas! Hit him in the liver". Not to be topped, I yell something that my dad yelled when he took me to see the Road Warriors back in the late 70's, "Kick him in the knee". My poor dad wanted nothing more than to be home (or anywhere but at a rasslin' match) that night. Anyhoo, that match had yet another strange ending.
Well, that's about it, my friend. Keep up the good work!