WCW/nWo World War III - Sunday, 11/22/98

WCW/nWo World War III - Sunday, 11/22/98

By Big Mike

Jordan from Garden City, Michigan, sends this arena report, which he calls "Journey Through MoronLand":
The night starts off on a bad note, as my friend Tavio can't even make it into the arena, he has to duck off into some bushes, and "water" them. I pray to high heavens that it doesn't get worse by Hogan winning the battle royal, or worse yet, Judy Bagwell. No, wait, Hogan would be worse.

get in, and march straight to the T-shirt stand. Agh! No XL Jericho shirts! We trek around the Palace.

Just as I've given up hope, I finally find a place! Whoo-hoo! I whip out my $50!!!!! (My girlfriend wanted a shirt too) and buy a couple snazzy Jericho shirts. Tavio gets the lWo shirt. There's a new Horsemen shirt there, kinda good.

Oh, Lord, no, a K-Dog shirt. It's got a "gangster dog" on the back.

As we are waiting in line, we ask if anyone has seen the new El Dandy shirt. The 11-year old DIEHARD Wolfpac fans respond with a very intellectual, "He sucks. Nash is the bomb."

I go to the bathroom first, since the Judy Bagwell match is cancelled, that was my originally scheduled pee break. There is VOMIT on the floor. Looks like someone had beans.

Food now, and we hurry to our seats, not wanting to miss a beat! I go with a normal old hot dog while my Puerto Rican compadre chooses a fancy Italian sub.

D'oh!!!! WE GET STUCK BEHIND A SPOTLIGHT, and I can only see two of the rings clearly, and have to lean to the left to see the third. Oh well, it wasn't too bad.

Here's how bad Glacier's intros are....when his music came on, Tavio was still waiting for his sub. He got it, paid, and we walked HALFWAY ACROSS A STADIUM and to our seats....and Glacier was still prancing around. I hope Wrath makes it quick.

Tavio holds up our first sign of the night. "Glacier, hit down, forward, right, High Kick to do the Freeze Ray". Judging by the outcome, he didn't see our sign.

Match #1, by the way: Glacier vs. Wrath

Video of Bret vs. DDP feud on the screen, we can't hear it. Was it bad on TV, because it looked bad on Palacevision. We take this time to display some other of our fine signs, "El Dandy=Rating$", "Fit Finley is My Father", and "Lodi And Scott Putski: NEXT TAG CHAMPS!" More to come!

Match #2: Stevie Ray w/Useless vs. Konnan w/Catch Phrases

Match #3: Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo vs. Saturn/Kaz Hayashi Match #4: Kidman vs. Juvi for the Cruiser belt. Match #5: Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner in the Crap-A-Thon Match #6: Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash Match #7: Chris JEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRICCCCCHOO vs. eh, some bum. for the most important belt in WCW, the TV title. Match #8: World War 3 battle royal?? Main Event: Bret Hart vs. DDP for the US title. It was a great show to attend live. Kidman-Juvi ruled, and I got to meet Kanyon and Dave Penzer afterwards. Kanyon signed my El Dandy poster.

One other sign I hoisted when he made his entrance in the battle royal: "LA PARKA, Spanish for "The Park-a"

Thanks, buh-bye now.

Grimace sends the following arena report:
Let me start out by saying the beer prices at the Palace have been "jacked" (did I say that?) a buck fifty since the Bob Dylan show earlier this month. What's up with that?

Needless to say, damn near every match was a letdown.

Let's start from the beginning.

Wrath and Glacier. As soon as I see Glacier come to the entrance I figure I have some time so I go out to the lobby area. I use the ATM and get an LWO shirt for my wife. I get in line for a coke ($2.50) and head back to my seat. Glacier is posing mid-ring. Good timing. Wrath comes out looking confused and lost. Match begins. Wrath sets up the meltdown. I fugure I have some time so I run out to my car, change my oil and check my tire pressure. Passenger rear a little low so I drive about 5 miles to the gas station and fill it. I buy some beef jerky while I'm there and get a Detroit Free Press to read during the Cat's match. I head back to the arena and my seat just as Wrath completes the move. Wrath wins again.

Stevie Ray and Konnan. I was prepared for this. I asked a bunch of people sitting around me to join in. As Konnan spewed "Detroit is bout it bout it and..." we yelled "F*ck You!" Throughout the match I'm yelling "Same four moves, same four moves," and then, "Carpetmuncher!!" Stevie gets hit with that painful looking "slapjack" and Konnan begins punching him on the mat. Gets himself DQ'd. Apparently he didn't break at the five count. Poor Konnan, can't win even with a knocked out opponent.

Good God. It's The Cat. Wade, I just couldn't force myself to sit there, so I did the next best thing. I went to the bathroom.

I make it back to see Kidman coming to the ring. Yes! Great match as I knew it would be, definitely the best of the night. I will always be in awe of the Shooting Star Press. Great to see Kidman get the belt back.

Steiner vs Steiner. Let the crap begin. No match really. Scott got some amazingly loud boos. This is what was really amazing... when Penzer mentioned Goldberg at the beginning he got quite a lot of boos himself. But when he came out to help Rick Steiner the crowd went friggin' nuts!

Hall vs Nash. Again, no match. I was really looking forward to this one too, if just to see them get back together. I think Nash's head is getting a bit big.

Jericho vs Duncum. Let me interject here and say I really like Bobby Duncum Jr. He's got a lot of that old time (at least old time to me) style. No bull. Just hurtin'. I could see this guy being a great Horseman. What do you think? Pretty lame match this time though. The Nitro last week was much better.

Battle Royal time. Yes! Norman Smiley, La Parka, Barry "Stinkin'" Darsow, Beautiful Bobby Eaton, Barry Horowitz! Norman got a huge pop from my section! I was dying! I was screaming "Viva La Parka! Viva La Parka" through the entrances. Something weird happened here. I don't know if it showed up on TV, but at the very beginning of the match, Scott Steiner and Bobby Eaton fell out of the ring to the floor. We figured they were out, but a few minutes later we noticed they were both back in the ring. Norman Smiley was the first to go over. Is there no God? La Parka held his own until he tangled with Kevin Nash. La Parka went right for him too. At least he's got *alls! So much going on it was hard to keep track. Anyhoo, Bam Bam runs in and Goldberg makes another non wrestling appearance. Pretty exciting. Those are two big boys and I'll be looking forward to see Bam Bam carry Goldberg through a match. Nash finally wins.

Michael Buffer announces DDP vs Bret Hart. The only thing that made this match interesting was the enormous inflatable penis that was floating down toward the ring. No it wasn't Alex Wright, but a real inflatable penis. Unfortunately security grabbed it before it got close to the ring. I started a large "We want the Penis" chant. No avail. Bret Hart brings in a chair. A few seconds later I stand and point to the entranceway and yell "Oh my God! Here comes La Parka!" A guy behind my yells "The Chairman!" A dozen or so heads turn to the entranceway, and not seeing La Parka, turn back to the match. Wishful thinking on my part. A minute after that I stand and point in the other direction and yell "Oh my God! Here comes the Penis!!" Much laughter. A guy behind me is yelling "Trailer Park, Trailer Park," through the whole match. Another guy is yelling "Hit him with a foreign object!" over and over. Another guy is yelling anti-Canadian remarks and is pissing off a guy near him. The Trailer Park guy now is yelling things like "Hit him in the pancreas! Hit him in the liver". Not to be topped, I yell something that my dad yelled when he took me to see the Road Warriors back in the late 70's, "Kick him in the knee". My poor dad wanted nothing more than to be home (or anywhere but at a rasslin' match) that night. Anyhoo, that match had yet another strange ending.

Well, that's about it, my friend. Keep up the good work!

Peace out.

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