WCW/nWo World War III - Sunday, 11/22/98

• Howdy everyone, once again. I'm Big Mike, fresh from Charlevoix County, Michigan, and it's time for World War III. A little warmer back here in H-town. I want to give a shout out though to Rex and the boys that were at the Flight Deck Bar in Charlevoix. Anyway, been away from DDT Digest a couple of months. Let's see if I still know how to do this reporting stuff. Go ahead, insert your own smart a** comment here.

• Well, a lot of things have happened since I did the Fall Brawl Report. I did get to see my alma mater (Texas A&M) beat (at the time) #2 Nebraska at Kyle Field in person (had to mention that)! Also, Governor Jesse "the Body" Ventura! The most notable event for me in wrestling, however, was the return of the man, the legend, Flair! I thought Bischoff and the boys did an excellent job on his return. They let Flair tell his story. It was great. Props to WCW for handling that extremely well. Now if we could only get Flair wrestling again. Let's see, we can have a CHiPs reunion movie (which I did watch), but we can't see Ric Flair wrestle. Also, it seems as if the tables have turned from one year ago. WWF is now on top, and I actually think their current story lines are far and above what the WCW is doing. Don't get me wrong, I am still a die-hard WCW guy, but I watch the WWF much more than I did one year ago. I thought there had been some terrible things coming from Hogan and Bischoff, but this "Hogan for President" thing is the worst. Hey, memo to Eric Bischoff, "NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT EXCEPT YOU AND HOGAN, OK?" It just pains me to see that s-t on television! I can't watch it. You would think fan reaction would give you a clue, but maybe not, why should we be expecting you to follow what the fans want now since you never have. It is nothing but a shameless boost to the ego of an aging wrestler who does not wrestle and cannot interview. And those of you that counter with the "Flair is old too and you like him" defense, let me say this. Flair has much better mic skills, and if EVER given the chance, could still carry almost anyone (perhaps even the Ultimate Warrior) to one hell of a match. Bret Hart has that quality too, and Bischoff is screwing him AGAIN. Congratulations to Bischoff, however, for bringing in the likes of Bam Bam Bigelow and Barry Windham to WCW. These are both good additions that could help. Hell, Barry Windham is practically a legend in WCW, because he grew up there during the glory days of Rhodes, Koloff, Magnum T.A., etc. I still think Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham was one of the best tag teams around.

• On the good side, congratulations to our webmaster/host/writer/editor/hero, Bill, for his great work on Arn Anderson's biography. It is a great book if you have not read it. If you expect Double-A to break kayfabe, however, well, just don't. Arn Anderson is old school and still one of the best company guys around. There is some tremendous insight into the business and into Double-A the man, as you would expect from him. Arn Anderson truly is the epitome of class in wrestling and this book proves it.

• Well, I'm glad I didn't watch the NBC documentary on the "secrets" of professional wrestling. I hear it was the dumbest hour of television ever. When did the Fox programming guys come over to NBC? People who watched it said it was funny to watch these "big secrets" that anyone with half a brain already knew. That night, Craig Roberts, the sports anchor on the local NBC station said on his Sunday Sports Extra as he was showing scenes from the documentary, "You know, it's funny. These guys revealing the 'secrets' are former wrestlers. Their voices and faces are disguised when they are talking about these fake wrestling moves and why??? Because they're afraid they'll get the hell beat out of them by the current wrestlers. Hmmm, not too fake now is it?" That was awesome, especially coming from the NBC anchor! He then shows a picture of Flair and the Nitro Grrrrrls at the television station that day in Houston to promote the upcoming Nitro in H-town (December 7 in the Astrodome). He says, "Now tell me the Nitro girls aren't real. OK, maybe they're not." Great stuff. You should have seen all the guys at the TV station falling all over Flair. And all of this was after they showed an interview with Stone Cold Steve Austin (a local product) to promote that Monday's Raw is War at the Summit (Compaq Center). What a great night for wrestling on the tube here in Houston.

• On the other hand, the show on wrestling that premiered on the Learning Channel last Sunday was a very good show, and very complimentary to wrestling. I thought it was a very well done documentary that took wrestling seriously and really showed how hard it was to make it, from the wrestlers to the referees to the announcers to the promoters, this covered it all. Props to the Learning Channel. The same night, one of the hunting shows on the Nashville Network had a show with Ted DiBiase taking his son deer hunting. Not a show for you animal rights activists, but I damn sure loved it, as I am a deer hunter myself. Hmmm, that would be a pretty weird combo though, an animal rights activist and a wrestling fan. Anyway, so wrestling has gotten some pretty good exposure everywhere lately.

• Finally, big-time props to Xavier Doom for his awesome Halloween Havoc preview and report and the World War III preview. I loved that preview stuff. It's interesting to go back and take a look at what happened in the past in relation to the direction in which WCW is going today. Also, Xavier Doom's web page has a great retrospective on ten years of Ted Turner in WCW.

• OK, enough pre-show comments. Now, with a cold Lone Star beer in hand (damn the bourbon), on to the show............

• We start with a montage of the combatants in tonight's World War III competition. This one ought to be a fun one to try to describe, but I will have some help from the legendary Chan and Charlie. I am humbled by their presence in my report.

• We are live from the Palace in Auburn Hills, just outside of Detroit, Michigan.

• Cut to earlier today with Goldberg arriving in a white limousine. Tony states that Goldberg will be "looking on."

• Tony "At least I'm not Lord Alfred Hayes" Schiavone, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, and "Iron" Mike Tenay commentating.

• Well, looks like satellite problems. My reception is very fuzzy AGAIN tonight and the sound is pretty bad. It was like this on the last TWO PPVs. However, my cable company has promised they will give me a full refund, so hey, free PPV!

• Heenan's wearing a sport coat and bow tie that makes him look like the Nutty Professor and Tenay looks like Gerry Spence!

• So much for the report of a scaled down World War III. There WILL be sixty men in the battle.

• Schmeme Gene is out with a Hotline commercial ALREADY! Can you see shameless promotion? Most people are paying for this PPV only to get a Hotline commercial two minutes into the broadcast.

• My sound is absolutely TERRIBLE! If I miss anything, let me know.

• Glacier vs. Wrath
  • Oh goodie! Glacier is in the first match. We start with a match the fans have been asking for forever (sarcasm duly noted)!
  • This match will take place in the middle ring.
  • Glacier is posing for the crowd and Wrath comes up behind him with a nice throat chop and then throws a knee that puts Glacier on the outside.
  • Wrath and Glacier trade blows outside and Glacier is thrown up and over the guardrail into the fans. Wrath comes over and they are fighting in the crowd before Wrath throws Glacier back over and back into the ring.
  • Maybe I have time to do some Christmas shopping during this one.
  • Schiavone states that Hogan is not in the building tonight, and we may find out why on Nitro tomorrow. That sure would suck if we had another surprise Hogan appearance a la WarGames.
  • Wrath goes for the pin with his feet on the ropes, but only gets two.
  • No offense for Glacier as he is thrown outside again. Wrath is using one of the camera cables to choke Glacier. The referee is Brady Boone, whom Schiavone states is a former wrestler?!?
  • Both men are really slow and measured. They are having a few awkward spots. Glacier hits a cryonic kick to the back that does not connect.
  • Glacier goes for the Icepick (Terry Gordy's old Oriental Spike) but Wrath blocks him and hits the Meltdown for the win.

• We see a montage of DDP and Bret Hart in which Bret Hart talks smack about half the wrestlers in WCW. Hey, the sound just got a lot better. Cool. Bret Hart says he is the people's champion. He says he takes pride in the fact that he tried to end DDP's career.

• Stevie Ray w/ Vincent vs. Konnan
  • We are in the first ring (on the left) now.
  • Tenay and Schiavone continue to jabber about Hogan not being there. Brain says he thinks something is in the air.
  • It's the old cueball himself, Konnan!
  • Konnan with his usual spiel on the mic.
  • Both men are playing up the crowd. Stevie Ray, of course, gets booed.
  • Stevie Ray is laying the big haymakers to Konnan as we start. Looks like Dusty Rhodes.
  • Konnan comes back with a punch, a head roll and a clothesline.
  • Konnan is thrown outside and Vincent (who has a slapjack in his back pocket) works over Konnan.
  • The Hardy Boys discuss the appearance of Bam Bam Bigelow on Nitro last week.
  • Konnan goes for a back slide, but only gets a two count.
  • Stevie Ray goes for an elbow drop and misses. Konnan retaliates with a kick to the "midsection" and a front bulldog.
  • Vincent is on the apron, and Konnan throws Stevie Ray into the slapjack that Vincent has waiting.
  • Konnan throws down the ref and starts beating on Stevie Ray. Billy Silverman throws the match out!
  • Booker T comes out to pull Konnan off his brother. Konnan leaves, and the former Harlem Heat members have words. Stevie Ray: "What the hell are you doing out here? Get out of here!" Vincent and Stevie Ray leave Booker T standing in the ring. So a DQ win for Stevie Ray I guess.
  • Weird ending.

• Ernest "the Cat" Miller and Sonny Onoo vs. Kaz Hayashi and Saturn
  • Sonny Onoo is announced as originally from Tokyo, Japan, and "now residing in his many homes around the world," and as being undefeated at 3 wins and no losses.
  • Ha! Onoo looks like a Japanese Elvis with his white robe, slicked back hair and cheap shades!
  • Maybe Saturn will save this match. Saturn has been very impressive to me since he has joined WCW. He really has some talent.
  • We are in the third ring, which is on the far right.
  • Scott Dickinson is the ref. Excuse the far out reference, but he looks that fat, bald deputy on "In the Heat of the Night."
  • Hayashi starts in, and the Cat gives his usual "five seconds to leave" thing and turns his back. Meantime, Saturn comes in to tattoo the Cat when he turns around.
  • The Cat runs out and Hayashi is tagged back in.
  • Schiavone compares Onoo to one Bobby "the Brain" Heenan as a manager.
  • Onoo is tagged in as Hayashi is down. Hayashi no-sells Onoo's kicks. Onoo offers him money, and gets a kick to the chest. He escapes, though, and tags the Cat back in. Hayashi tags Saturn in.
  • I thought Saturn dropped his first name. Schiavone keeps referring to him as "Perry" or "Perry Saturn."
  • The Cat executes a powerslam, and practically throws Onoo in. One kick by Onoo, who tries to tag out, but the Cat will not let him. Saturn puts the STF on Onoo, but the Cat comes to the rescue. Saturn and Hayashi are now double-teaming the Cat. The Cat gets the upper hand on Hayashi as Saturn goes out.
  • The Cat is holding Hayashi in the corner as Onoo is tagged in and kicking Hayashi. Hayashi and Onoo both go down, and Onoo makes it back to the corner to tag the Cat in.
  • Hayashi finally gets the hot tag to Saturn, but Saturn goes into a rest hold, a headlock. One suplex, and Hayashi is tagged back in.
  • The Cat distracts the ref while Onoo works over Hayashi. Here comes Onoo again. Hayashi lures Onoo to the corner, where Hayashi tags Saturn in. Onoo makes the tag though, and Saturn is working over the Cat. Onoo is coming up behind Saturn, and the ref stops Hayashi from coming in.
  • Saturn grabs Onoo, but the Cat sneaks up from behind with a roundhouse kick to the jaw of Saturn. Onoo gets the 1-2-3 on Saturn for the pin!
  • Whose decision was it to job Saturn to Sonny Onoo? Oh my goodness, that was bad.

• A look backstage at the Internet site and Chris Jericho talking about his match with Bobby Duncum, Jr.

• Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera for the World Cruiserweight Title.
  • We are back in the middle ring.
  • This should be a great match. I hope I can keep up with the action!
  • Schmeme Gene stops Juventud as he is coming out. He is wearing an LWO t-shirt. Eddie Guerrero comes out to announce that Air Juvy has joined the raza. Rey Misterio Jr. comes out to take issue with the fact that he didn't get the title shot over Juvy. Eddie states that Misterio must learn to make the sacrifice and "sacrifice the needs of the many over the needs of yourself."
  • Eddie tries to lead Misterio to the back, but Misterio pushes him away.
  • I think Kidman is telling Juvy "you sold out." Are we in ECW now?
  • Juvy and Kidman are trading chops and punches.
  • Juvy puts Kidman down and goes up to the top rope to get the fans' attention.
  • BIG chokeslam/powerbomb by Kidman. Kidman slingshots over for the guillotine leg drop, but only gets a two count.
  • Snap powerbomb by Juvy. Elbow drop, but only a two count.
  • Juvy seems to be trying to slow the match down.
  • Clothesline by Kidman. Juvy drops Kidman throat first off the rope. Juvy goes up top for a missile drop kick, but Kidman meets him with a drop kick of his own. Two count.
  • Kidman throws Juvy outside and slingshots over the rope to hit Juvy a cross body press.
  • Kidman is on the apron and Juvy goes for the hurricanrana off the top rope onto the floor. Kidman grabs him and they both tumble to the floor.
  • Back in the ring, and Juvy hits a brainbuster, but only gets the two count. So many of these moves they are using would be finishers for anyone else. That doesn't look too good.
  • Springboard missile drop kick by Juvy, and Kidman rolls outside. Juvy springboards off the top rope for a cross body block on Kidman, who goes into the guardrail!
  • Juvy goes for the guillotine leg drop, and looks like he legitimately, uh, for lack of a better word, comes down on the jewels.
  • Juvy is now in ring one. He springs off the Ring 1 rope onto the Ring 2 rope and hits a missile drop kick. We only have a two count though. Whew!
  • Kidman hits a drop kick and goes for the splash in the corner and misses.
  • Juvy is setting Kidman up for the 450, but Kidman pops him one and hits the hurricanrana on Juvy into Ring 1. He hits the drop kick off the top rope in Ring 2 onto Juvy in Ring 1!!!! Two count only! Juvy throws Kidman up and over into Ring 2 again. Juvy gets a frankensteiner off the top, but only a two count.
  • Juvy goes for the Juvy driver, but Kidman blocks. No, now Juvy hits the Juvy driver, and both men are down!!!
  • Juvy is up and pulls Kidman over the corner for the 450. He misses, of course. Juvy gets the hurricanrana and a two count. Juvy then slaps Charles Robinson for not counting fast enough.
  • I can't describe some of these moves! Kidman hits a suplex variation and goes for the Shooting Star Press, but Juvy blocks it with a punch.
  • Juvy goes for the hurricanrana, but here is Rey Misterio, Jr., who holds Kidman on the rope, while Juvy goes to the floor. Kidman hits the Shooting Star Press for the win! We have a new champ!
  • The whole LWO comes out and Eddie holds them out and says to Misterio, "You're either in or not. Let me know RIGHT NOW!" Misterio throws the LWO shirt at Guerrero and is chased to the back by the entire LWO.
  • Damn!! I need a beer and a breather now. What a terrific match! I think we set a record for number of two counts in a match!

• Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner w/ Buff Bagwell and a guy in a ref suit with a whistle??
  • Pardon me for being terrible with names, but is this the guy from ECW with the whistle?
  • We are in Ring 1 again.
  • Schaivone states that no WCW referee will work any of Scott Steiner's matches as previously stated.
  • A matchup of the two hometown boys.
  • Wait, cut to the back, and the Giant, Stevie Ray, Bryan Adams, and Vincent are working over Rick Steiner. The Giant leads Rick Steiner to the ring.
  • The nWo referee starts the "match" and Buff and Scott Steiner are working over Rick Steiner.
  • Rick gets the upper hand and throws the nWo ref out. Scott then comes with a kick to the "special section."
  • Rick is favoring his right arm that the nWo was working over in the back.
  • Scott has Rick in the Camel Clutch and HERE COMES GOLDBERG!!!!
  • Spear by Goldberg! He sets up for the jackhammer, but Buff hits Goldberg with a chair, which Goldberg no-sells.
  • Scott and Buff run out of the ring and Goldberg gives the nWo ref a gorilla press slam into Ring 2!
  • Goldberg and Rick Steiner embrace, and Goldberg raises Rick Steiner's hand.
  • I guess we have a no contest. Surprising entrance by Goldberg, though.

• Scott Hall w/ Vincent, Stevie Ray, Giant, Horace, Scott Norton, and Bryan Adams vs. Kevin Nash in a special return bout from Halloween Havoc.
  • We are in Ring 2 for this one.
  • Bischoff comes out before Nash does to no music. Bischoff is getting a little gray. Perhaps it's from McMahon beating his a$$ n the ratings the last few weeks.
  • Bischoff says it's survey time, and the survey says, "Get him!" The Black and White attacks Scott Hall!!!!
  • Here comes Nash! Hall and Nash clear the ring together! The Outsiders are back!
  • The fans are chanting "Outsiders!"
  • Hall gives Nash the "too sweet" sign, but Nash won't return. Hall looks on in disbelief as Nash walks to the back. Hall looks devastated.
  • I guess another no contest, but a nice twist in the story line here.

• Insert your own assorted ramblings by Schiavone, Heenan, and Tenay here.

• World Television Champion Chris Jericho vs. Bobby Duncum, Jr. in a special return match from Nitro.
  • Jericho comes out with his bodyguard, Ralphus. That guy kills me!! Man, is he ugly!
  • We are in Ring 3 for this match.
  • Where did Duncum come from? I know his dad was a wrestler, but Junior doesn't look like a young guy.
  • OK, Tenay says he has been in the Orient for most of his seven year career.
  • Well, I DID like him. Tenay says Duncum went to the University of Texas. Oh well, we can't all be perfect. (Big smile)
  • Slow match here at first. Lots of armbars and rest holds.
  • Apparently, Heenan managed Bobby Duncum, Jr's father, oddly enough, named Bobby Duncum, Sr. Why haven't I heard too much about either one of these guys? Please e-mail me if you have some information on the Duncum family.
  • They are both outside now, and Duncum throws Jericho into the guardrail and over into the crowd. Duncum tries to steal some guy's shirt in the crowd and gets a beer thrown on him for his trouble. He is playing a heel sort of. Meanwhile, Jericho comes off the guardrail with a drop kick.
  • Duncum is thrown back into the ring and Jericho hits the missile drop kick.
  • Duncum hits the shoulder breaker, but only a two count.
  • Duncum is coming across, but Jericho gives him a hot shot off the top rock and drop kicks Duncum outside the ring.
  • Duncum is a pretty big guy. They say he played football at U.T.
  • Jericho is talking plenty of trash in between moves.
  • As Jericho is holding Duncum for a chop, Jericho whispers something to him. Where is NBC when you need them?
  • Jericho goes for the sunset flip, but Duncum grabs him for the double handed chokeslam, for only a two count.
  • Lionsault by Jericho. He only gets a two count again.
  • Jericho is going up top, but Duncum meets him and nails the superplex. Both men are down. Duncum makes it over for the cover, but only gets a two count.
  • Jericho tries to get Duncum into the Liontamer, but Duncum fights out and hits a power slam, and a Yokozuna-style pancake slam in the corner.
  • Duncum goes for the suplex, but Ralphus grabs his leg. The ref is fighting with Duncum and Ralphus, and Jericho sneaks over with the TV belt and nails Duncum. He covers Duncum for the 1-2-3, and Jericho retains the belt.

• It's World War III time!!!!! The winner faces Goldberg for the World Heavyweight Title at Starrcade.
  • All right, I'm getting a breath here. I hope I can keep up I apologize in advance if I miss anything. Schiavone says there are three ways to get eliminated. They are: to get thrown out to the floor (through, under, or over the ropes), pin, or submission.
  • Order of Entry (courtesy of Chan and Charlie): Alex Wright, Bobby Blaze, Barry Darsow, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., Chip Minton, Chris Adams, Chris Benoit, Ciclope, Damien, Perry Saturn, Disciple, Disco Inferno, Eddy Guerrero, El Dandy, The Giant, Hector Garza, Horace Hogan, Chris Jericho, Booker T, Wrath, Ernest Miller, Scott Steiner, Scott Norton, Scott Hall, Scott Riggs, Rey Misterio Jr., Barry Horowitz, Bobby Eaton, Steivie Ray, Billy Kidman, Juventud Guerrera, Psychosis, Dean Malenko, Steve McMichael, Kaz Hayashi, Lex Luger, Konnan, Kanyon, Kevin Nash, Johnny Swinger, Renegade, Scott Putski, Silver King, Super Calo, Tokyo Magnum, Van Hammer, Villano V, Vincent, Kendall Windham, Kenny Kaos, La Parka, Lenny Lane, Lizmark, Jr., Mike Enos, Lodi, Norman Smiley, Prince Iaukea, Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, Glacier.
  • Benoit gets a big pop, as does Saturn. There's the Disciple. He looks semi-normal. Jericho is the final man in Ring 1.
  • Here's Scott Hall, the "man without a country." All right, Barry Horowitz is in the match!!! So is Bobby Eaton. Kidman gets a huge pop, as he is the last man in Ring 2.
  • Malenko gets a huge pop, as does Steve McMichael. Big Sexy Kevin Nash also gets a large pop. Renegade is in. Maybe Arn Anderson will come out to beat the hell out of Renegade for having to job the TV Title to him a few years ago. Here's Kendall Windham. There's Lodi. Alright, Sergeant Buddy Lee Parker, Mr. Power Plant. Glacier is the last man in Ring 3. Let's get it on!
  • We are missing a lot of WCW stars. No Bret Hart, DDP, Sting, Hogan, Bigelow, or Barry Windham.
  • Here we go!!!! At the end of the report, we will have the complete order of elimination, as done by Chan and Charlie.
  • Once we get down to 20, all the men left will go into one ring.
  • Norman Smiley is the first out followed by Super Calo, Lodi, Lizmark, Jr., and Scott Putski. Nash is throwing everyone out. There goes Tokyo Magnum, Lenny Lane, Scott Putski, and Lenny Lane. Nash has thrown about 10 men out!
  • The Giant is just standing there in Ring 1. Mike Enos is out.
  • Nash throws Hammer out, and he is the only one standing in Ring 3, with 38 men left!
  • Hall slams Psychosis out of the ring.
  • 35 men left now. Nash is standing alone in Ring 3.
  • I love battle royals. You get to see all the talent together that you never get to see.
  • Still 35 men in the three rings. There goes Kanyon and Kaz Hayashi as they tried to go to the top rope and got dumped out.
  • The Giant finally goes into action and tries to dump Alex Wright out. He fails. Horace and the Disciple carry each other out. Damn. The Giant throws Misterio out and tries to throw Wright out again. About six guys are on the Giant, and he throws them all off! 28 men are left.
  • I don't know how Chan and Charlie are going to keep up with the order of elimination.
  • 25 men left. Now 24. Juvy goes out, and we are down to 23.
  • Scott Hall almost goes out, but not quite. Misterio goes out to bring us down to 20.
  • We are going to the center ring. Plenty of nWo members, along with Benoit, Malenko, and McMichael still left. Saturn and the Cat are eliminated as they fight up the ramp before they make it to Ring 2.
  • Chavo Jr. and Alex Wright go out, along with Eddie Guerrero. The Giant throws Kidman and Alex Wright out. 13 men left.
  • Nash goes after the Giant!
  • Three Horsemen, and the rest are nWo members, besides Wrath and Booker T.
  • Scott Steiner has a submission hold on Mongo, but Mongo fights out.
  • Hall and Nash are attacking the Giant together!! They are both trying to dump him out, but Norton breaks it up.
  • Luger eliminates Stevie Ray. Down to 12.
  • Mongo throws Norton out, and then Nash throws Mongo out. We are down to 10. Wrath is thrown out.
  • Here comes Bam Bam Bigelow out of the crowd into the ring!!!!!!!
  • Security gets him out of the ring. Here comes Goldberg after Bigelow!!!! The two are brawling on the floor. The fight is stopped in the ring as this is happening. It resumes as security escorts Bigelow to the back.
  • Eight left as Scott Steiner is thrown out. Nash, Hall, Malenko, Benoit, Luger, Giant, Booker T, and Konnan are the eight left in the ring.
  • Booker T goes out. Down to 7.
  • The men are standing, planning their strategy in their groups, and here we go.
  • Konnan misses Scott Hall and goes to the floor.
  • Kevin Nash calls out everyone against the Giant. They all attack him and he pushes them away. The Giant is by himself, as no other Black and White members are in there.
  • All of them get together and throw the Giant to the floor!
  • Five left: Hall, Nash, Benoit, Malenko, Luger, and Nash.
  • Malenko and Benoit attack Hall while Luger and Nash stand by. They then get together to throw Malenko and Benoit out. Down to Hall, Nash, and Luger.
  • Luger and Nash are planning their strategy. They all three go to the middle of the ring and start in on each other. Nash is attacking Luger! Hall is attacking Nash. Nash grabs Luger and is about to throw him out, but Hall stops him and attacks Luger himself. Luger throws a forearm to Nash and then to Hall. Luger puts Hall in the Rack, but Nash dumps them both out to get the win!!!! Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg at Starrcade!!!
  • Pretty good match there. No screw job type ending, which I like. Luger hugs Nash and gives him the "too sweet" sign.
  • Order of Elimination, courtesy of Chan and Charlie (Men remaining in ring according to WCW counter): Smiley, Calo, Lodi, Lizmark, Putski, Magnum, Lane, Swinger, Kaos, Silver King, Dandy, Enos, Hammer, Psychosis (35), Kanyon (34), Hayashi (33), Disciple, Horace, Guerrera (23), Misterio (20), Saturn & Miller (19 & 18), Chavo & Wright (17 & 16), Eddy Guerrero (15), Disco (14), Kidman (13), Stevie Ray (12), Norton (11), McMichael (10), Wrath (9), Scott Steiner (8), Booker T (7), Konnan (6), Giant (5), Benoit (4), Malenko (3), Hall (2), Luger (1). Winner-Nash

• Here's Buffer for the other main event.

• "The Hitman" Bret Hart vs. Diamond Dallas Page for the United States Heavyweight Championship
  • DDP comes out to the usual pyrotechnics.
  • DDP gets up on the Internet broadcast table as he comes in. Marshall and Madden look at him like he is carrying food or something.
  • DDP attacks Hart down on the floor as the match starts. DDP throws Hart into the ring steps.
  • Looks like we will be in Ring 3 to start.
  • DDP throws Hart, who is now out on the floor, into Ring 2 and starts beating on him.
  • DDT by Hart, but Page kicks out at two.
  • Slow match, but we do have twenty minutes to kill, as it is only 23 minutes after the hour.
  • DDP goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Hart slides out.
  • Hart takes DDP out and slams him into the steps.
  • Hart executes a nice Russian Leg Sweep, but only a two count. He then goes for tombstone piledriver, but Page reverses into his own tombstone. Of course, we don't get a three count. How come when Kane or Mongo does that move, it's all over? That doesn't look too good.
  • Page gets a belly to belly suplex, but Hart kicks out of the pin attempt.
  • This is a hell of a lot easier to call than the battle royal.
  • Hart has an "international object," but Page makes him drop it, and the referee throws it out.
  • Page puts Hart in the Sharpshooter! Hart makes it to the ropes though.
  • Hart with a kick to the jewels, and Page goes down. Hart is attempting to go for the Sharpshooter, but Page kicks out. Now Hart is working on DDP's left leg.
  • Now, Hart puts on the Figure Four around the ring post! Hart breaks it momentarily and then goes back to work on the knee of DDP.
  • Hart pulls DDP into the middle of the ring and continues to work on the left knee.
  • Hart applies the Figure Four Leglock in the middle of the ring, and Page is squirming. Hart is using the ropes for leverage, and Charles Robinson gets the break.
  • Hart continues to work on the knee, but DDP lifts Hart up and over the ropes. DDP comes out and throws Hart into the steps. He then drops Hart onto the guardrail.
  • DDP goes for the Figure Four around the ring post now! He's got Hart around the ring post, but finally breaks it.
  • DDP now brings a chair into the ring, but the referee grabs it from him. Hart drop kicks DDP into Charles Robinson and retrieves the foreign object from Robinson. Here comes the nWo ref! Hart puts DDP in the Sharpshooter and the nWo ref calls for the bell! Wait! Now here comes Mickey Jay, who grabs the belt from Hart. DDP sneaks up behind Hart and hits the Diamond Cutter. Charles Robinson gets up to count the 1-2-3. Diamond Dallas Page retains the title!
  • Starrcade promo with Goldberg, and it's all over.

• Hey, no Hogan!!! Woo-hoo! Can't be a bad PPV with no Hogan. The Juvy-Kidman match was just superb. The battle royal was also not too bad, as we had no screwjob, and the Hart-Page match was not too terribly bad. I could have done without Wrath-Glacier, and Onoo getting the pin on Saturn was just terrible. Duncum-Jericho could have been a lot better if Jericho hadn't had to carry Duncum.

• Finally, I'd like to mention that my alma mater, the #6 Texas A&M Aggies are the Big XII South champs again! As our prize for winning the South, we get to run into the K-State buzzsaw in the Big XII title game. Oh, well.Gig 'em Aggies. Beat the hell outta t.u! And the road goes on forever, and the party never ends.

The night starts off on a bad note, as my friend Tavio can't even make it into the arena, he has to duck off into some bushes, and "water" them. I pray to high heavens that it doesn't get worse by Hogan winning the battle royal, or worse yet, Judy Bagwell. No, wait, Hogan would be worse.

get in, and march straight to the T-shirt stand. Agh! No XL Jericho shirts! We trek around the Palace.

Just as I've given up hope, I finally find a place! Whoo-hoo! I whip out my $50!!!!! (My girlfriend wanted a shirt too) and buy a couple snazzy Jericho shirts. Tavio gets the lWo shirt. There's a new Horsemen shirt there, kinda good.

Oh, Lord, no, a K-Dog shirt. It's got a "gangster dog" on the back.

As we are waiting in line, we ask if anyone has seen the new El Dandy shirt. The 11-year old DIEHARD Wolfpac fans respond with a very intellectual, "He sucks. Nash is the bomb."

I go to the bathroom first, since the Judy Bagwell match is cancelled, that was my originally scheduled pee break. There is VOMIT on the floor. Looks like someone had beans.

Food now, and we hurry to our seats, not wanting to miss a beat! I go with a normal old hot dog while my Puerto Rican compadre chooses a fancy Italian sub.

D'oh!!!! WE GET STUCK BEHIND A SPOTLIGHT, and I can only see two of the rings clearly, and have to lean to the left to see the third. Oh well, it wasn't too bad.

Here's how bad Glacier's intros are....when his music came on, Tavio was still waiting for his sub. He got it, paid, and we walked HALFWAY ACROSS A STADIUM and to our seats....and Glacier was still prancing around. I hope Wrath makes it quick.

Tavio holds up our first sign of the night. "Glacier, hit down, forward, right, High Kick to do the Freeze Ray". Judging by the outcome, he didn't see our sign.

Match #1, by the way: Glacier vs. Wrath

• Wrath takes it into the crowd. Glacier's taking a MASSIVE beating.
• Glacier gets the stuffings choked out of him with the cord at ringside. Hmm, I remember when these guys were first in WCW, they tried so hard to get Glacier over, and had him beat this guy and Kanyon (Mortis then), and he was still a dud with the crowd. Now look at Kanyon and especially Wrath's appeal, who seems to be getting more and more over. Gee, were we pushing the right guy back then??
• Agh, Glacier goes for the Cryonic Kick. I could tell from my seat he didn't hit, and I am in the upper deck.
• Glacier tries for his new move, the Asiatic Spike. Wrath grabs his arm, and pump-handles him. Meltdown time!! Splat. Bye Glacier.
• Your Winner: Wrath

Video of Bret vs. DDP feud on the screen, we can't hear it. Was it bad on TV, because it looked bad on Palacevision. We take this time to display some other of our fine signs, "El Dandy=Rating$", "Fit Finley is My Father", and "Lodi And Scott Putski: NEXT TAG CHAMPS!" More to come!

Match #2: Stevie Ray w/Useless vs. Konnan w/Catch Phrases

• Sigh.....I wonder if this will suck as bad as the 14 or so matches they've had on Nitro, Thunder, and Saturday Night.
• During the Konnan speech, Tavio keeps his El Dandy sign up, shouting in Spanish the whole time. Everyone thinks he's "loco"....see? I'm bilingual too. By the way, do you think 95% of the people who scream Rowdy Rowdy even know what it means? I don't....but I don't scream it either.
• OH MY GOSH! THREE NEVER BEFORE SEEN MOVES BY KONNAN! I call one, a Rolling Clothesline, a Sit-Down Dropkick, and a Facebuster. Man, those are awesome, he should use those more often.
• Has anyone else noticed that Stevie Ray is very bad at getting hit with moves? Watch when he gets hit with a Facebuster, or a Cutter or something, you can see his elbows and arms block his fall way too much...it just looks bad.
• Stevie shows us his huge arsenal. Punches, kicks, more punches. Wow.
• Vincent is so useless. Konnan on the outside, Vincent, all you have to do is roll him back in the ring. You make THAT look bad. Geez, can I get a job Eric? I'll even job to Goldberg if you're running out of guys.
• Those crazy guys goof, and the Slapjack is not felt on Konnan's brain. Instead, he gets DQ'ed by pushing the ref, yawn.
• Woah! Booker T. comes to save Stevie Ray from further punishment. But Stevie is not happy for the help. Booker is supposed to fight Scott Norton tonight. I predict Stevie runs in, setting up Booker T.-Stevie Ray at Starrcade.
• Winner: Stevie Ray via DQ

Match #3: Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo vs. Saturn/Kaz Hayashi

• Sonny Onoo is from "his many homes around the world" ha. He's also 3-0! Catching up to Goldberg!
• I hope Kaz don't turn on Saturn. And if they lose, I hope Saturn doesn't get pinned.
• Nate points out that the screen has Perry Saturn written. I thought he was just Saturn.
• Onoo has a couple guys with him. Miller and Hayashi start. Miller gives the 5-count, but Kaz tags in Saturn who proceeds with a pummelling.
• Onoo tries to pay off Kaz in the match, but Kaz refuses.
• I know everyone complains, but I think I enjoy the Cat. I mean, his wrestling pretty much sucks, but honestly, I know he's getting over as a heel for me, cuz I am really enjoying watching Saturn kick the stuffing out of him.
• When Sonny Onoo gets tagged out, he gets fanned down and has foot powder applied. ha.
• I made fun of this match more than I paid attention. It ends when Saturn has Onoo in a front facelock type deal, and Miller hits a kick to the face. Onoo falls on top of Saturn for the pin. Weak end.
• Winners: Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo

Match #4: Kidman vs. Juvi for the Cruiser belt.

• OK, this match RULED. I didn't recognize Kidman's music, either it was new, or I just don't pay attention to it really.
• Mean Gene runs out like an oaf as Juvi is coming to the ring??? OH, he has joined the LWO! I didn't even notice the shirt.
• I make a good point that we all ponder. "If you are not that big to begin with, and look like a woman, does it really HELP your tough guy image to have purple tights on? At least Kidman looks a bit more ruthless, wearing his Wife Beater shirt".
• They used all 3 rings in this one. Juvi slipped trying to jump from one set of ropes to another, then onto Kidman. Kidman did a flying bodypress from one ring to another, and I believe a dropkick.
• Rey Misterio comes down. I can smell what Flyin Fury is cookin. He grabs Kidmans leg as Juvi tries a frankensteiner off the top!
• One other interesting note, at least for a while it was true. A guy in our crowd consistently pointed out to us that LWO sucked, and "Wolfpac ruled". I shut him up by saying, "If that's so, then why does the LWO have more titles?" Ah, drunks, aren't they grand?
• Kidman wins with the Shooting Star Press! NEW CHAMP! So much for that LWO with more belts than Wolfpac thing.
• Winner: Kidman, new champ!
• After the match, Eddie forces Rey to make a decision, stay LWO or leave. Rey throws off his shirt and runs away. Tavio comments, "That's how real Mexican's fight, they run away." Before I get any racial slack, Tavio IS Mexican, so he's not racist.

Match #5: Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner in the Crap-A-Thon

• OK, Road Wild, Fall Brawl, Halloween Havoc, and now World War 3. That's 4 PPV cards in a row with Steiner vs. Steiner scheduled. Geez.
• That ref, I would say is related to Buff. He dances around a lot like him.
• Steiner's music comes on, no Rick. Reminds me of last year, when a certain MONSTER named Goldberg got laid out by Mongo!
• They show on the big screen NWO Hollywood beating down Rick Steiner. Giant drags him out and feeds him to Big Poppa Roids. A beating is now in session.
• Match doesn't go for a long time, and here comes Goldberg??? HUGE pop for the champ. Goldie spears Scott Steiner! WOW! He lifts up that ref and HEAVES him into the next ring. Here's the thing, watch the tape, the guy isn't even holding on to balance the weight, it was just sheer power! Man, Goldberg, say what you want, the guy's strong as an ox.
• He celebrates with Rick in the ring. Goldberg chant.
• Winner: No contest

Match #6: Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

• Much rumored is the reuniting of the Outsiders. With everyone saying Nash is gonna win World War 3, I dunno, yet.
• Scott Hall comes out with basically ALL of NWO white, except Hogan. Oh, here comes Bischoff. Yippee.
• He gets on the mic, and I can tell what's happening now. "Scott, survey says, GET HIM!" NWO proceeds to clubber Scott Hall. Gee, whoever will save him?
• Nash to the rescue. Man, his knees must be bad, he's hobbling. They clear the ring, and Hall gives the Outsiders sign. Crowd is into it, BIG time, with the Outsiders chant. Nash doesn't return, and leaves the ring.
• Winner: No Contest, again.

Match #7: Chris JEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRICCCCCHOO vs. eh, some bum. for the most important belt in WCW, the TV title.

• Jericho comes out and we hold up a new sign, "Hey Jericho, march around the ring 7 times." (If ya' know the bible, you'll laugh.)
• Ralphus is here as well. I saw a kid with his own JPS shirt (Jericho Personal Security). It wasn't a half shirt though.
• I wonder if Bobby Duncum's gimmick is a cowboy, or a guy stuck in a 70's wrestling timewarp?
• Anyone else hear the rumor that Jericho-Goldberg was supposed to be at WW3, but the egos backstage of the big guys didn't think Jericho was "ready" to main event. Funny thing, his match is on AFTER Hall and Nash, Steiners, and there's only 3 more after it. So ha! Jerks.
• As much as I'd like to give a close play by play, all I can say is this. Bobby Duncum Jr, man of 342 clotheslines.
• Jericho DID however hit the Lionsault!! It was out of nowhere. Good match I s'pose, although I think Bobby forgot Jericho was the heel, as he was pretty rough with a guy in the crowd, taking something from him.
• Bobby is distracted by Ralphus, and I have to endure seeing his back exposed. Jericho hits Cowboy with the TV title, and gets the win!! Whoo hoo!
• Winner: Chris Jericho!!!!

Match #8: World War 3 battle royal??

• Hey, if the whole PPV revolves around the Battle Royal, shouldn't it be the main event? There's still supposed to be two matches, DDP vs. Bret and Norton vs. Booker T!
• First time, they introduce EACH guy individually. On the screen where the wrestlers enter, they are flashing names real quick. I saw British Bulldog on there, although I've heard he's out of WCW.
• Different rules this year. If your feet touch the ground, or you get pinned or tap out, you lose.
• OH MY GOSH! YES!! 60 men are out, unlike last year, when guys did late run-ins! AND NO HOGAN!!! I already predict Nash empties his ring, and he rumbles with Giant.
• Weird note, probably the biggest pop, at least from where I was at, was for Kidman. That's cool though.
• Jericho came out clutching his stomach.
• BENOIT IS IN IT!!!
• I get to see Barry Darsow in his golfer outfit as well. Hmm, no Bret Hart, no Bigelow. No Hogan as I said....considering the only real rumors tossed around were those three and Nash....I think it's a safe bet to say Big Sexy is winning it, plus, he's a hometown boy.
• OK, my best view is Ring 3, with Nash. NOOOOO!!! Norman Smiley, first man out.
• Holy geez, Nash is chucking guys like he's in the Royal Rumble or something! I can't see Ring 1, but I see Jericho on the floor. How'd he get tossed? :-(
• Nash's ring is empty, and the others are still just about full. Man. Scott Hall throws out Psychosis with the Fallaway Slam! Cool!
• Hard to remember everything that happened here. Alex Wright came oh-so-close many times. Eventually everyone in Ring 1 beat on Giant, but to no avail.
• As Saturn and The Cat are out, they fight the whole way back. Oh yeah, Luger's in it, I think he's got an outside shot of winning, if Nash doesn't.
• I remember the Final 13. Nash, Luger and Konnan of Wolfpack. Giant, Norton, Scott Steiner, and Stevie Ray from Black and White. Scott Hall alone. Booker T. and Wrath as well. Then there's 3 Horsemen still, whoo! Benoit, Dean and Mongo!
• Mongo and Norton both go out, in close times. Stevie Ray got chucked too, 10 left! Go BENOIT!!!!
• Woah! I thought a moron fan jumped the ring and was taking a beating, it's Bam Bam! The wrestlers beat him down, and here comes Goldberg!!!! HUGE POP for the champ, and the brawl starts. The wrestlers watch as they attempt to go at it.
• OK, I don't know if this was on camera, but my friend said Goldberg tried to spear Bam bam, and Bammer didn't budge!!! Was it on TV? Did he no-sell the spear????
• Oh yeah, Wrath is out, along with Konnan, and Booker T. and Steiner.
• Now it's Luger, Nash, Hall, Giant, BENOIT AND MALENKO!!!!!! GO!!! Ah, I know they won't win, but still.
• Well, it's Luger or Nash, since Giant has already jobbed to Goldberg, along with Hall.
• All 5 guys team up and eliminate the Giant! Benoit and Malenko follow up, darn it.
• Nash, Luger and Hall slug it out, against each other!! long story short, reminds me of WW3 96, Luger racks Hall, and nash boots them both out, ala Giant eliminating Luger and Nash! NASH WINS!
• Winner: Kevin Nash, hey, at least Goldberg could be in another good PPV match.

Main Event: Bret Hart vs. DDP for the US title.

• This is the Main event?
• OK, I like Bret. I don't like DDP. But here's the thing, this match is predictable. I've seen it before, several times.
• Highlight, and I KNOW this wasn't on camera. Someone has a GIGANTIC inflated penis in the crowd! By gigantic, I mean like 10 feet!!!!!! They get it and pop it quick, but what I wanna know....how did they sneak it in to begin with? It was at LEAST 10 feet.
• I'm tired right now, so basically, Bret thought he won, DDP got the cutter and kept his gold.

It was a great show to attend live. Kidman-Juvi ruled, and I got to meet Kanyon and Dave Penzer afterwards. Kanyon signed my El Dandy poster.

One other sign I hoisted when he made his entrance in the battle royal: "LA PARKA, Spanish for "The Park-a"

Thanks, buh-bye now.

Let me start out by saying the beer prices at the Palace have been "jacked" (did I say that?) a buck fifty since the Bob Dylan show earlier this month. What's up with that?

Needless to say, damn near every match was a letdown.

Let's start from the beginning.

Wrath and Glacier. As soon as I see Glacier come to the entrance I figure I have some time so I go out to the lobby area. I use the ATM and get an LWO shirt for my wife. I get in line for a coke ($2.50) and head back to my seat. Glacier is posing mid-ring. Good timing. Wrath comes out looking confused and lost. Match begins. Wrath sets up the meltdown. I fugure I have some time so I run out to my car, change my oil and check my tire pressure. Passenger rear a little low so I drive about 5 miles to the gas station and fill it. I buy some beef jerky while I'm there and get a Detroit Free Press to read during the Cat's match. I head back to the arena and my seat just as Wrath completes the move. Wrath wins again.

Stevie Ray and Konnan. I was prepared for this. I asked a bunch of people sitting around me to join in. As Konnan spewed "Detroit is bout it bout it and..." we yelled "F*ck You!" Throughout the match I'm yelling "Same four moves, same four moves," and then, "Carpetmuncher!!" Stevie gets hit with that painful looking "slapjack" and Konnan begins punching him on the mat. Gets himself DQ'd. Apparently he didn't break at the five count. Poor Konnan, can't win even with a knocked out opponent.

Good God. It's The Cat. Wade, I just couldn't force myself to sit there, so I did the next best thing. I went to the bathroom.

I make it back to see Kidman coming to the ring. Yes! Great match as I knew it would be, definitely the best of the night. I will always be in awe of the Shooting Star Press. Great to see Kidman get the belt back.

Steiner vs Steiner. Let the crap begin. No match really. Scott got some amazingly loud boos. This is what was really amazing... when Penzer mentioned Goldberg at the beginning he got quite a lot of boos himself. But when he came out to help Rick Steiner the crowd went friggin' nuts!

Hall vs Nash. Again, no match. I was really looking forward to this one too, if just to see them get back together. I think Nash's head is getting a bit big.

Jericho vs Duncum. Let me interject here and say I really like Bobby Duncum Jr. He's got a lot of that old time (at least old time to me) style. No bull. Just hurtin'. I could see this guy being a great Horseman. What do you think? Pretty lame match this time though. The Nitro last week was much better.

Battle Royal time. Yes! Norman Smiley, La Parka, Barry "Stinkin'" Darsow, Beautiful Bobby Eaton, Barry Horowitz! Norman got a huge pop from my section! I was dying! I was screaming "Viva La Parka! Viva La Parka" through the entrances. Something weird happened here. I don't know if it showed up on TV, but at the very beginning of the match, Scott Steiner and Bobby Eaton fell out of the ring to the floor. We figured they were out, but a few minutes later we noticed they were both back in the ring. Norman Smiley was the first to go over. Is there no God? La Parka held his own until he tangled with Kevin Nash. La Parka went right for him too. At least he's got *alls! So much going on it was hard to keep track. Anyhoo, Bam Bam runs in and Goldberg makes another non wrestling appearance. Pretty exciting. Those are two big boys and I'll be looking forward to see Bam Bam carry Goldberg through a match. Nash finally wins.

Michael Buffer announces DDP vs Bret Hart. The only thing that made this match interesting was the enormous inflatable penis that was floating down toward the ring. No it wasn't Alex Wright, but a real inflatable penis. Unfortunately security grabbed it before it got close to the ring. I started a large "We want the Penis" chant. No avail. Bret Hart brings in a chair. A few seconds later I stand and point to the entranceway and yell "Oh my God! Here comes La Parka!" A guy behind my yells "The Chairman!" A dozen or so heads turn to the entranceway, and not seeing La Parka, turn back to the match. Wishful thinking on my part. A minute after that I stand and point in the other direction and yell "Oh my God! Here comes the Penis!!" Much laughter. A guy behind me is yelling "Trailer Park, Trailer Park," through the whole match. Another guy is yelling "Hit him with a foreign object!" over and over. Another guy is yelling anti-Canadian remarks and is pissing off a guy near him. The Trailer Park guy now is yelling things like "Hit him in the pancreas! Hit him in the liver". Not to be topped, I yell something that my dad yelled when he took me to see the Road Warriors back in the late 70's, "Kick him in the knee". My poor dad wanted nothing more than to be home (or anywhere but at a rasslin' match) that night. Anyhoo, that match had yet another strange ending.

Well, that's about it, my friend. Keep up the good work!

Peace out.