WCW Thunder - Thursday, November 19, 1998
WCW Thunder - Thursday, November 19, 1998
I hold in my hand the last envelope. [Massive cheers]
- I apologize for not being able to do a report last week, as I had some
business to take care of. My father had a birthday over the weekend. With
my work schedule Thursday was the only day I could visit the good ol' parental
units. Nevertheless, this week I'm ready to put the proverbial smackdown on
another edition of WCW Thunder.
- On a side note, considering the quality of a lot of the matches WCW
has provided for its Thursday night show, shouldn't it be called WCW
Drizzle, instead? Just a thought.
- I hold in my hand the envelopes...
- Julia Child, Jessica Hahn, and Nick Gentle.
- Name a cooker, a hooker, and a booker:
- I have decided to expand in my career as a match booker for WCW, here's my
- nWo music comes on, my bad.
- saggy orabge comes out accompanied by 'misfits are us'
- El Dandy runs in and clears the ring.
- Aaahhhh I spoke too soon, he forgot big tobacco who treats him to a chokeslam.
- The crowd, as one massive unit rush the ring!!!! Holy s**t!!!! Two chicks
are beating up vincent and Scott Steiner just got a cutter from Monica
- El Dandy fight through the chaos and starts Butt Slamming Hogan into the
- Sign (as we cut to commercial), Stevie ray is an all round performer.
- An absurd gimmick, watching a Meng match, and a wrestler Victoria
- Name Kane, a pain, and Lenny Lane:
- I am a big Lenny Lane fan myself. I got the opportunity to meet and
hang out with him at the last Worldwide tapings. He is a great guy.
VERY funny. What you see on TV is just how he is in person. All of the
guys I met and hung with were very nice. I even got to hang out with my
all time fave Raven. Extremely nice man.
Anyway, before we get to the report some of you are probably asking
yourself, "What the HELL is he typing?!?" That was my attempt at a tribute
to the legendary Tonight Show host, Johnny Carson.
- May you kiss Mick Jagger on the lips and have your head swallowed
- Hwah-hwah-hwah-hwah-hwah! HIYOOOOOOOOOO!!
- By the way, I'm done with mail.
One of Carson's best-known characters was Carnac the Magnificant.
Every show, Carnac would come out and receive several sealed envelopes from sidekick
Ed McMahon. Carnac would then hold the envelope to his head and using his
mind powers, he would know the answer to the question inside the envelope
before opening it.
Upon telling the audience that he has arrived at the last envelope, the crowd
would cheer wildly. Carnac would then give a puzzled look to the audience and
say one of his "May you..." lines out of spitefulness. Of course, everyone
knows about Ed McMahon's horse-like laugh.
Two more tidbits before tonight's report.
Instead of the opening montage we get a promo for World War III.
We are LIVE from Fort Wayne, IN for two hours of Thunder!
We cut to the gruesome threesome.
- There will be no Thunder next Thursday due to Thanksgiving.
- If you didn't watch this edition, BE THANKFUL. "Ugh" is the best
word I can use to describe tonight's card.
We go to clips from Nitro in which Bret Hart dismantles Dean Malenko
and Chris Benoit.
- Substituting for Bobby Heenan tonight is Larry Zbyzsko.
- They talk about Kevin Nash.
- They talk about DDP vs. Bret Hart at WW3.
- Will someone tell me why the f**k a Goldberg chant has started?
Match #1: Norman Smiley vs. Booker T
- I'm sure the crowd would rather see these clips of past events rather
than something as tacky as wrestling. Sheesh.
We go to a Nitro clip of DDP making a challenge to Bret Hart.
NOW we get the opening montage, a la Nitro.
In case we haven't gotten our "clip quota" for the night, here's one
of Big Poppa Roid and Buff Bagwell schmoozing with what appears to be Roid's mom.
- Woo hoo! It's Smiley!!
- He'll be taking on Booker T in our opening bout.
- As much as I'd like to see Smiley win, I'm afraid that it won't happen.
- Smiley and Booker shake hands to start.
- Lockup to start and Booker breaks clean in the corner.
- Smiley, however, doesn't offer the same luxury when he has Booker in
- Two European uppercuts by the European.
- Smiley is playing the heel tonight.
- In the corner we see Smiley slapping Booker in the face.
- Smiley whips Booker into the corner and hits a nice bodyslam.
- The announcers comment on Smiley's change of attitude.
- Yeah, I'm sure this will do him so much good. Assholes.
- Reverse chinlock by my boy.
- Smiley hits a clothesline then gets in another chinlock.
- Booker tries to get out but is thrown down again.
- Smiley kicks a downed Booker in the head and whips him.
- Booker rebounds with a flying forearm.
- Booker hits a spinwheel kick.
- Booker with a couple more kicks.
- Booker applies a snapmare but misses an elbow.
- While Smiley dances in celebration Booker does some breakdancing of his own
and hits the Harlem Sidekick.
- Smiley tries to mount a comeback but is ultimately put to pasture with
the 110th Street Slam.
- This was not one of Smiley's better showings.
- YOUR WINNER: Booker T via 110th Street Slam in 3:30.
Match #2: Disco Inferno vs. Scott Hall (w/ the nWo)
- Man, Rick Steiner needs to go to the Dean Malenko School of Interviewing.
Well, maybe not.
- Please let this be the last clip.
Another Nitro re-hash: Scott Steiner applies the Steiner Recliner to
WCW's best wrestler, Chris Adams.
Ugh. They are playing none other than "Roxane" by The Police on the local
classic rock station, 96.5.
Long form promo for World War III.
A commercial for the new Jerry Springer movie "Ringmaster."
- Disco comes out and shakes his collective booty.
- We go to a crowd shot and some dork is dressed like Hollywood Hogan
complete with the feather boa.
- And I thought Florida's fans were bad enough.
- Disco will be taking on a resident of Florida: Scott Hall, who comes
from Chuluota, a small town minutes from Orlando.
- Will Disco be jobbing again?!?
- Hall waves to Disco as the bell rings.
- Hall throws his toothpick at Mr. Saturday Night Fever.
- Hall slaps Disco in the face which triggers a lockup.
- Hall messes with Disco's hair in the corner.
- Disco unloads on Hall. No one touches the hair, even Hall knows that!
- Disco hits a swinging neckbreaker and a running lariat.
- Seven punches on the turnbuckle by Disco.
- Hall hits Disco with a forearm in the corner.
- Hall knocks down Disco with a discus punch.
- As Disco runs toward Hall after a whip he is met with a fallaway slam.
- Hall gives the signal and sets up for the Edge.
- Crash. 1-2-3.
- Hmm, did the Disco Inferno take a whizz on Bischoff's lawn to deserve this?
- YOUR WINNER: Scott Hall via nWo (Outsider's) Edge in 2:36.
Tony Skeevone is on the entryway and calls out Chris Jericho.
- With some of Jerry's guests, his show seems as real as Madusa's chest.
We go to a clip from earlier in the day in which Kay Hayashi is looking
for a tag team partner for Sunday's match against The Cat and Sonny Onoo.
- Jericho has a Booker T-ish look going on tonight.
- Skeevone talks about Jericho walking out of his match versus Bobby
Duncam, Jr. on Nitro and says that the two will meet at WW3.
- Jericho acts like he's never heard the name then refers to him as
- Jericho rags on Duncam.
- Jericho mentions Stu Hart's dungeon and complains that he was going to
have a cowboy gimmick and be known as "Cowboy Chris Jericho from Casper, WY."
- Just an aside, I remember hearing somewhere that when Bret Hart entered
the WWF, Vince McMahon considered giving him a cowboy gimmick. Hart
turned it down, which probably saved his career. I cannot vouch on the
validity of this statement, but it is an amusing side note, true or not.
- For this reason Jericho hates cowboys.
- We see Duncam sneak up from behind and attack Jericho!
- Duncam hogties Jericho's legs and hands together with a lasso rope and walks
- Jericho yells at Skeevone to untie him.
- Skeevone tells Jericho that he wasn't a Boy Scout and says he's on his own!
- Nice segment.
Would you break all the bones in your body for a bottle of Surge like
the cretins in the commercial?
Promo for WCWSN.
From Nitro: Clips of Chris Jericho vs. Bobby Duncam, Jr. for the TV Title.
Match #3: Kidman vs. Eddie Guerrero
- Scott Hall is asked but turns the offer down despite being rewarded with
Cut to Schiavone, Tenay, and Zbyzsko.
- Rey Jr. comes out in an LWO shirt not looking very happy.
- Ya know, I kinda dig Kidman's music.
- They mention Nitro coming to Tampa again. Word of warning:
this is what happened last time Nitro came to Tampa.
- Kidman gets the mic and talks about how he would rather fight the old
Rey Mysterio, Jr. instead of the one standing in front of him.
- Eddie Guerrero enters the ring and tells Kidman that Rey became LWO
- Eddie then tells Rey that he has nothing to prove to Kidman.
- Rey gets the mic and says that Juventud Guerrera beat Kidman for
the Cruiserweight Title on Nitro.
- Rey then states that if he wins this match tonight he should get a title
shot against Juventud at the pay-per-view.
- Eddie then tells Rey that he is not thinking straight and needs to act
with the team in mind and not himself.
- Eddie then says he'll sacrifice himself and take on Kidman.
- The LWO escort an angry Rey Mysterio, Jr. out of the ring.
- Rey takes off his LWO shirt in disgust as we go to commercial.
- As we come back, Mike Tenay joins the announcer's booth.
- Bell sounds and Eddie starts with a dropkick and a mudhole stomp in the corner.
- Eddie fires away with some chops.
- Kidman whips Eddie and flips Eddie with his legs.
- Kidman with a leg drop from the top rope.
- Eddie begs off to Kidman.
- Eddie goes for a handshake but eats a short-arm clothesline.
- Eddie hides under the ref in the corner and exits the ring. Classic
- Eddie reenters without any hurry and gets stomped to the delight of the fans.
- Kidman whips Eddie into a sleeperhold.
- Eddie counters with a jawbreaker and Kidman rolls to the apron.
- Kidman headthrusts Eddie between the ropes and gets back in with a
- Kidman with another sleeper.
- Kidman does a hurricarana for two.
- Kidman lands a forearm and sets up for a lariat.
- Eddie catches Kidman and delivers a "Rock Bottom"-type maneuver.
- Eddie goes up top but Kidman meets up with him for a superplex!
- Kidman with the late cover for two.
- Kidman tries a suplex but Eddie gets out of it.
- Eddie tries a powerbomb but Kidman reverses this into a face slam.
- Kidman goes up top to set up for the Shooting Star Press but sees
Art Flores and Rey Mysterio, Jr. argue outside the ring.
- Kidman dives onto the two LWO'ers!
- As Kidman enters the ring Eddie gains the upper hand.
- Kidman hits his modified powerbomb for two.
- Kidman with a scoop slam.
- Art Flores tries to get into the ring for some interference but
is stopped by Rey.
- Kidman runs to the ropes and accidently hits Flores.
- Eddie rolls Kidman up, puts his feet on the ropes, and gets the cheap
- Rey argues with Eddie as the LWO head backstage.
- YOUR WINNER: Eddie Guerrero via roll-up in 5:38.
Clip from Nitro: Juventud Guerrera defeats Kidman to win the Cruiserweight
Tonight's Thunder Ringside Release is the new Zelda game for the Nintendo 64.
A montage of clips showcasing the feud that is Scott Hall and Kevin Nash.
Match #4: Scott Putski vs. IWGP Champion Scott Norton.
- They talk about Juventud winning the Cruiserweight Belt for the third
- They mention a clause for a return match versus Kidman at the pay-per-view.
Clip from Nitro: Kevin Nash confronts Scott Hall in the ring.
Nintendo mentions the word suck in its advertisement of the
new Zelda game. Man, that's prohibited territory for them.
This week in WCW Motorsports.
- Putz-ski no longer has the Baseball Tonight music.
- Music or not, he's gonna get creamed by Scott Norton.
- Like this would matter, but I assume this is a non-title bout.
- Mike Tenay says that Norton can bench-press 641 pounds.
- Gee, that's only five times my body weight. Thanks for making
me feel better.
- Before the bell Vincent attacks Putz-ski.
- After a Putz-ski clothesline Norton gets involved and the bell rings.
- Norton tosses Putz-ski out of the ring.
- The nWo then triple teams Polish Power.
- Norton suplexes Putz-ski back into the ring.
- Norton sends Putz-ski down with a chop.
- Norton with some headbutts in the corner.
- Stevie Ray chokes Putz-ski as the ref has his back turned.
- Norton with a short-arm clothesline.
- Norton misses a second and Putz-ski takes control.
- His advantage is short lived, though.
- Norton then completes his domination of Putz-ski with a powerbomb.
- YOUR WINNER: Scott Norton via powerbomb in 1:48.
Sign: "Hogan is the Living Legend."
- These segments should be subtitled 101 Ways to See Lance Hooper
Crash and Burn.
- However, tonight's segment solely featured Mark Martin.
In yet another clip from Nitro, we see Hogan announce his campaign
to screw up this country and bring out a Monica Lewinsky look-a-like.
Backstage we see Kaz Hayashi try to recruit Disco Inferno to face
The Cat and Sonny Onoo.
- Some fool needs a psychological exam and a straight-jacket.
Match #5: "Curiosity Killed" The Cat (w/ Sonny "Yoko" Onoo) vs.
- Saturn butts in and ends up offering his hand in battle.
- I'm sure the crowd just enjoys this barrage of non-wrestling segments.
A recap of previous World War III events leading up to a promo for the
- Great. Can this suck any worse?
- Ernie gets a mic and speaks. I try to shut him out to no avail.
- Ernie hands the mic over to Onoo.
- Onoo, in a stereotypical Japanese accent, talks about the tag team match
with Hayashi and Saturn at World War III.
- Ernie calls for Hayashi.
- Onoo says that he's got another opponent for Ernie.
- Onoo says he had to go to Japan to get a two-time karate champion.
- Some jobber-in-disguise comes out dressed as a black belt and is called
- This karate jackass is wearing black eyeliner. No comment.
- Please make it stop.
- I mean it.
- Hayashi enters the ring to chase Onoo but is knocked down by Ernie.
- Onoo and Ernie put the boots to Hayashi.
- Perry Saturn arrives and cleans house!
- Saturn makes it official that he will be Hayashi's partner.
- I think I am going to hurl.
Match #6: Chavo Guerrero, Jr. (w/ Pepe) vs. Alex Wright.
- Barry P. of
The Lodi Page sends this:
Since I know what huge El Dandy marks you guys are, I thought I'd pass a
little tidbit on to you that you might enjoy. In one of the WW3 promos, you
can see the fighting begin in one of the rings, and the first person thrown
out is El Dandy, courtesy of eventual winner Scott Hall.
Match #7: Kanyon vs. Prince Iaukea
- Finally. We get to see something promising on this show.
- The announcers inform us that there will be no Thunder next Thursday
due to Thanksgiving.
- Alex Wright will be Chavo's opposition tonight.
- Wright leaves the ring to get a mic.
- Wright says if the stupid people do not show him any respect he will
leave the "natch."
- Wright reenters and the bell sounds.
- Chavo makes a "P-U" motion toward Pepe about Wright.
- Lockup and Wright gets a couple of chops and kicks in the corner.
- Chavo answers with a dropkick.
- Chavo hits a headscissors takeover in the corner.
- Chavo with another headscissors.
- Wright goes to the corner and begs off.
- Wright gains the upper hand and kicks a downed Chavo.
- Chavo reverses a whip and tries a top-rope bulldog.
- Wright shrugs him off at the last minute and slams him down.
- Wright sends Chavo out of the ring and hits a double axehandle.
- Wright with a scoop slam outside the ring.
- Wright reenters and dances for the crowd.
- Chavo hits a jawbreaker on the ropes.
- Chavo lands a plancha from the ropes for two.
- Wright sends Chavo head-first into the turnbuckle.
- Wright whips Chavo into the corner and lands an elbow.
- Wright slams Chavo down and splashes him.
- Wright attempts the pin but Chavo puts a leg on the ropes.
- Wright with a chinlock.
- Wright vertical suplexes Chavo for two.
- Wright hits a belly-to-back suplex and goes up top.
- Wright tries an axehandle but meets the legs of Chavo.
- Chavo whips Wright into the corner and splashes him.
- Chavo with a bulldog.
- Chavo whips Wright into a back body drop.
- Chavo clothesline Wright and just barely misses a three-count.
- Wright goes for a slam but Chavo slips out, lands on Wright, and gets two.
- Wright with a clothesline for two.
- Chavo tries a belly-to-back suplex but Wright slips out.
- Wright bulldogs Chavo on the ropes.
- Wright goes for his reverse neckbreaker but Chavo uses a standing switch
to get out of it.
- Some more counters follow and Wright applies and bridge rollup to get the
- Post-match, Wright brings Pepe into the ring.
- We pan to a crowd shot as the announcers mark out over Wright breaking Pepe.
- Guess we can't piss off PETA, can we?
- Chavo gets pissed and attacks Wright, ultimately sending him out of
- As we go to commercial we see Chavo trying to put Pepe back together.
- Not a bad match. Kind of slow in the beginning, but the pace picked up a minute
towards the end.
- YOUR WINNER: Alex Wright via bridge roll-up in 7:38.
Match #8: Perry Saturn vs. Wrath.
- Kanyon calls the Indiana crowd "ingrates" and offers the theological
question, "Who's better than Kanyon?"
- Crowd: "Everyone!"
- Kanyon: "Your momma!"
- The announcers talk in digust over Kanyon's yelling on the mic, which
prompts Larry Z. to say, "I announced with Dusty Rhodes, I can handle
- Iaukea attacks outside the ring and the two brawl.
- Inside, Iaukea hits a dropkick.
- Kanyon takes control and lands a reverse powerbomb.
- Kanyon kicks a grounded Iaukea.
- With Iaukea on the apron Kanyon goes on the second rope and superplexes
the barefooted one for two.
- Kanyon with a short-arm sleeper type move.
- Kanyon lands a reverse bulldog for two.
- Kanyon with a whip but Iaukea goes for the sunset flip.
- Kanyon gets out of it by way of a punch.
- Iaukea tries a comeback but gets nowhere.
- Kanyon puts his legs on Iaukea's shoulders and just drops to the mat,
planting Iaukea's face. I don't know what this move is actually called,
but it looked pretty damn cool.
- Iaukea with a spinning kick on Kanyon.
- Iaukea whips Kanyon into a back body drop and a Samoan Drop for two.
- Iaukea tries for a suplex but cannot get Kanyon over.
- Kanyon uses this to hit the Flatliner for the win.
- YOUR WINNER: Kanyon via Flatliner in 4:18.
Just in case they haven't shoved enough clips down our throat along
with the bulls**t WCW has fed up tonight, they do one more clip.
- Saturn has added a chain link vest to his wardrobe tonight,
- Hey, when did I put in my Van Halen CD?
- Oh, it's only Wrath. My bad.
- Wrath just towers over Saturn.
- Saturn starts with a side headlock but runs into a shoulderblock
after a whip.
- Saturn goes behind Wrath, whom gets a full arm drag and twist.
- Nobody calls a full arm drag and twist like Tony Schiavone.
- Saturn with a flying kick from the ropes.
- Saturn sends Wrath outside and hits a crossbody block.
- Saturn works on the arm of Wrath.
- Wrath pounds on Saturn, gaining the upper hand.
- Wrath whips Saturn into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
- Wrath throws Saturn to the corner and kicks him down.
- Wrath lands two chops followed by a kick.
- Wrath misses an elbow in the corner.
- Saturn tries to whip Wrath, but ends up being whipped into a turnbuckle
- Wrath applies a belly-to-back suplex.
- Wrath goes to the top turnbuckle and lands the diving forearm.
- With Saturn lying on the apron, Wrath goes outside and lands some elbows.
- Back in the ring we see Wrath choking Saturn on the ropes.
- Wrath tries a whip to the corner and misses the elbow.
- Saturn with a T-Bone suplex for two.
- Saturn goes for the sunset flip.
- Oh no, The Cat and Sonny Onoo are on the entryway.
- This reeks screwjob.
- Saturn with a frog splash for two.
- Onoo distracts the ref as Ernie hits one of the lamest sidekicks I have
seen in a while.
- Ernie walks toward the back as Wrath sets up for the Meltdown.
- Wrath plants him for the win. Bah.
- I run the mile faster than it takes for Wrath to complete his finisher.
- Hayashi comes in to console Saturn as we go to break. Too little, too late.
- YOUR WINNER: Wrath via Meltdown in 6:07.
At 10:00 P.M. EDT we get the main event fireworks.
Match #9: Konnan vs. Bret Hart
- This time we see Bam Bam "I Sold Out to be Eventually Jobbed Out" Bigelow
go on a rampage in WCW.
Dark matches (reprinted from The Spear):
- AUUUUUUUUUUGH!!! WHY ME?!?!?
- You know how Bret Hart has the Five Moves of Doom? Well, Konnan
has the Five Catchphrases of Doom.
- Yo yo yo, lemme speak on dis...
- Arriba La Raza!
- ... the Wolfpac is Forever!
- Bout it, bout it and...
- Did I just say those? Someone please shoot me.
- Speaking of Hart, here he comes.
- The bell rings at 10:03 P.M. EDT.
- Konnan "Orale's" to start.
- Hart knees Konnan to get the advantage.
- Hart works Konnan over in the corner.
- Konnan returns the favor and hits ten punches on the turnbuckle.
- Konnan and Hart go outside.
- Konnan introduces Hart to the safety rail, head first.
- Konnan then does the same to the steel steps.
- Konnan punishes Hart on said steps.
- Konnan goes into the ring, then back out to chase Hart.
- Quiz Question: What happens next?
A) Konnan enters the ring and gets pummeled.
B) Konnan runs to the ropes and does his rolling clothesline.
C) One of the lights from above falls from the arena and lands
on Konnan, knocking him out cold.
- C! C! The answer is C!
- One can dream. The actual answer is A.
- Konnan goes for a sunset flip and we have company.
- With the referee not looking, Stevie Ray beans Konnan with the slapjack.
- Well at least my wish of him being knocked out came true.
- Hart crotches an unconscious Konnan with a headbutt.
- Hart then locks on the Sharpshooter and gets the victory.
- Hart gets his hand raised and goes outside to get a chair.
- Hart wraps the chair around Konnan's leg and goes to the turnbuckle.
- The referee gets in Hart's way, so he goes to another turnbuckle.
- Before Hart can make me happy by crippling Konnan, DDP comes out to
engage combat. Damn it!
- In typical WCW fashion, we fade to black as DDP and Hart brawl.
- YOUR WINNER: Bret Hart via Sharpshooter in 3:20.
- Kaz Hayashi defeated Ciclope.
- Glacier defeated Silver King
- Diamond Dallas Page defeated The Giant with the Diamond Cutter - The Giant had DDP ready for the
Choke Slam, but DDP countered it with the Diamond Cutter.
The Good: No matches really stood out, although seeing Jericho
hog-tied was amusing.
The Bad: Just about everything else. This is one of those shows
in which you genuinely feel sorry for the crowd that attended. If you live
in the Fort Wayne, IN area and attended that Thunder, I know what you
went through and I feel your pain.
The Ugly: This supposed heel turn for Norman Smiley will probably alter
Smiley's push the same way Brad Armstrong's push got altered when he turned.
Have a great Thanksgiving!