WCW Thunder, Thursday, 08/26/98
WCW Thunder, Thursday, 08/26/98
- Welcome to the biggest Thunder report EVER!!!!! Okay, maybe
it's not that big, but work with me here. As stated above, my name
is Mickey Alderson, and I run a modest little web page named The
Stinger Splash (shameless plug.) Enjoying (and I use that term
loosely) Thunder tonight with me are 2 contributors to the page, Fred (of
the Fred World Order) and Saint James. No trivia tonight - I just
can't think of anything obscure enough to ask in addition to the obscure
humor involved in the following report.
- One thing I'd like to address right now is the Sting contract situation.
A "respected wrestling journalist" is reporting that Sting has been working
without a contract, but has now re-upped with WCW. However, strangely
enough, he has a clause in his deal that he will NOT work on Thursday nights.
This means that this is my only chance to talk about Sting tonight, as
he won't be on the show. A major negative for me, let me tell you.
By the way, you might check out this
link for a humorous look at the Stinger. Anyway, that's enough
of an introduction- let's get to the action, such as it is...
- We are LIVE! from Peoria, Illinois, as Tony, Bobby, and Stagger Lee
hype up Fall Brawl, and that lame excuse of a "War Games" they've got coming
up... Lee mentions that Hogan has never beaten Warrior, Piper, or
Page- huh? Didn't he pin DDP at Bash At The Beach? One drink. Didn't he pin Piper at Superbrawl VII? Another drink.
Saint James also points out that Hogan hasn't beaten Val Venis either,
but that's beside the point...
- Match #1: Wrath pins Scott Putski with the "Meltdown"
- The opening riff on Wrath's entrance music is "Runnin' With The Devil" by Van
Halen - that's the Diamond Dave version of VH to you.
- Wrath basically dominates Putski with kicks, punches, and clotheslines -
looks a lot like Hogan, actually.
- As a non-Pole, I'm offended by Putski, on behalf of Poles everywhere.
- Total squash, as he finally hits that weird pump-handle bodyslam move,
that Marshall calls the "Meltdown."
- Tony says that later we will see DDP, K-Dawg, Stevie Ray, and Our Role Model.
- Tony comes back and talks to Stevie Ray.
- Stevie Ray has his tights pulled up
close to the bottom of his ribcage. Vincent is with Stevie, by the
way - can this get any more racist? (By the way, Saint James just
pointed out that Tony with a southern accent would BE Joe Bob Briggs.)
- Stevie 'splains hisself to all of us, making sure to dis Tenay and
Heenan while he's at it. He says that he owes Hogan and Bischoff
a debt for helping him out. Then he says that Hogan called him on
his cell phone, and told him to bring back DDP's head on a platter.
Religious overtones too, huh?
- The whole thing doesn't make any sense, seeing
as how the Giant cost Stevie the TV belt- but then again, as Fred
always says: "This is WCW- it's not supposed to
- Match #2: Mean Mike Enos pins Bull Payne with a top-rope fallaway slam
(ala Scott Hall)
- Another match to help establish the jobber ratings in WCW.
- By the way, I believe that Bull Payne was a wrestler in the AWA promotion that ran in Munford, TN, a small town just outside my hometown of Memphis.
- Enos tries some move on Bull, grabbing on his leg while Bull is on the second rope. This is not a good sign of things to come.
- Enos "posts" Bull, and then hits a REAL sidewalk slam. Of course, Tony doesn't call it.
- Incidentally, we are ALL hoping for a Meng run-in.
- WOW! That finisher by Enos was really cool!
- That was officially the gayest match I've ever seen NOT involving Val Venis.
- Commercials, including one for Nitro featuring Booker T. Very
- Match #3: The Cat pins Disco Inferno following a round-kick in about 15 seconds.
- YES! Disco!!! NO! The Cat...
- Disco gets the microphone, and starts telling us that we came to see him dance (yes, Disco, we did!), when the Cat snatches the mic away, and
rips on Disco.
- The bell rings, the Cat Pearl Harbors Disco, and then... it's over. Huh?
- After the match, the Cat starts ranting on how he's a 3-time karate champion, and NO ONE can do a damn thing about it!
- Does anyone really care? Glacier's heel turn was better received, and that's the sad part...
- Actually, we are all hoping that Disco comes back and kicks his ass!
- Commercials, including WCW MotorSports. Just let it be...
- Match #4: K-Dawg forces Silver King to submit to the Tequila Sunrise.
- I'm trying not to be fooled by Silver King's stocky physique.
- And since you were wondering, we ARE bowdy bowdy and rowdy rowdy!
- DAMN! K-Dawg hits a sweet huracanrana!
- Tony: "K-Dawg's very much different, yet still the same." Huh?
- Silver King hits a semi-springboard move - unfortunately, the move ended up with his butt in K-Dawg's face.
- K-Dawg then proceeds to hit all his signature moves - rolling clothesline, sitting dropkick, 187, faceslam, and finally the Tequila Sunrise.
- Silver King is STILL a dozen wins away from being promoted to "Gold King."
- After the match, Rick Rude, Curt Hennig, and the rest of the b-teamers come out to taunt K-Dawg a second time.
- Rude asks K-Dawg which one of them he wants to kick his butt, as they surround the ring. Wow - WCW's version of "Let's Make A Deal"- where's Monty Hall when we need him?
- K-Dawg challenges all of them, then hightails it out of the ring, taunting them as he goes.
- Rude says "After War Games, there's no more games." Cute, Rick.
- Commercials, including the"Big Sexy" shirt.
- Tony is in the ring, and brings out Captain of Team WCW, Diamond Dallas Page.
- Random question: Is the O.W.N. a subset of
WCW? If not, which guy is the true leader, DDP or Warrior?
We now return to our regularly scheduled report...
- Tony repeats what Stevie Ray said about Page, to which DDP responds
"What's new?" DDP then proceeds to rag on Bischoff (always a good
thing), and talks about Warrior.
- Next, Page shows that he hasn't read the script closely enough, because
he says that we'll find out the third man on Team WCW on Nitro next week.
Wait, you mean it might not be Piper? WOO-HOO!
- Incidentally, not only does that new DDP hat suck, but were those Page's handprints on Sable at the last WWF
- DDP then rants on Stevie Ray, and will make him feel... well, you know.
- HOUR #2 begins with...
- Ix-nay joins Bobby and Tony, and they talk about what we've just seen, courtesy WCW Thunder.
- Match #5: Kaz Hayashi pins Evan Kourageous following a Senton splash from the top rope.
- Yet another match to determine those all-important jobber ratings.
- From nowhere, Sonny Onoo comes out to take a look at Kaz. Where the hell has he been? And why am I even asking?
- "Racial Angle Night" continues...
- Kaz hits a forward roll slam on Evan.
- More talk about Kaz's "fluid"- maybe that's where the stain in the ring came from...
- Kaz hits what Saint James called a "sushi-slam" (Senton splash) from the top rope, and gets the pin.
- Kaz leaves with Sonny Onoo, as they talk over "Wok With Yan" host Yan's sushi recipe from this past weekend.
- Match #6: Lodi pins Saturn after interference from the Flock.
- Lodi gets in the ring, and claims that Saturn broke his fingers, and challenges him to a match.
- Saturn, somewhat amused, disagrees, and says Raven did it.
- Lodi says that Raven is his friend, because he bought Lodi a new rubber duckie.
- I'm not even gonna go there...
- Lodi says that if Saturn wins, Lodi will leave the Flock, but if he wins, Saturn must be Lodi's slave until the PPV.
- Saturn then Pearl Harbors Lodi, and proceeds to literally destroy him.(Did I use "literally" right, Bill?)
- That is, until the Flock runs in. Saturn takes out Riggs, Sick Boy, and Raven, but Kanyon comes in and hits the Flatliner on Saturn.
- I thought that this angle was nonsensical before, but this is ridiculous.
- Kanyon drags Lodi on top of Saturn, and forces the ref to make the count. LODI WINS!!!!! WOO-HOO!!!
- Hmmm... Kanyon finally joins Raven? I'm not sure whether I care yet...
- Match #7: Scott Norton destroys Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart with the (shhh...powerbomb)
- Tony talks about the late Jack Brickhouse. Yeah, and...?
- Huge shoulderblock by Norton.
- Neidhart attacks Vincent on the outside, but Norton ends that quickly, pounding him on the floor.
- Tony says that Norton is the "scariest wrestler in our sport." One drink.
- Norton no-sells a Neidhart shoulderblock from the second rope, and ends it with the "sidewalk slam"- wait, I'm sorry, the powerbomb.
I've been listening to Schiavone WAY too long.
- Vincent tries to talk into the camera, but WCW changes the camera shot quickly. THANK YOU!!!
- Tony says... WHAT?!? Van Hammer? TONIGHT?!?!? Why did I volunteer for this?
- Match #8: WCW World TV Champ Chris Jericho forces Alex Wright to submit to the Liontamer.
- YES! Our Paragon of Virtue!!! and he's wearing a new Jericho
t-shirt! I've gotta get me one of them!
- COOL! He's facing one of the Dancin' Axis Powers!
- Is it just me, or does anyone else want to see Johnny Swinger and Stevie Richards join the Fools?
- Jericho tries to get Billy Silverman to keep the crowd quiet.
- Tony keeps calling Jericho a "jerk"- yeah, you're just mad because he calls you "Skee-A-Vone."
- Someone throws a cup in the ring- Jericho picks it up and drinks from it! HA!
- Alex gets disgusted with Jericho, and heads to the back. I've got a ten-spot that says he comes back to the ring.
- A lot of moves traded back and forth, ending with a clothesline by "Das BlunderHeel."
- Suplex by Alex on the floor.
- Belly to belly for 2 by Alex.
- Jericho with a spin kick to the gut, and a cover with one foot.
- You know, one day Jericho is going to win a match like that.
- Jericho with the "Dreaded Chinlock of Doom."
- Jericho with some weird hold, which prompts Ix-nay to say: "I guess it's a submission hold." WOW! If Ix-nay doesn't know a hold, that's news!
- Lionsault, followed by the "Silly Walk."
- Alex with a backbreaker for 2. Spinwheel kick for 2.
- Now both men are down, 8-count, but they get up, and Alex hits another spinwheel kick.
- Jericho with his cool double underhook backbreaker.
- Alex hits another backbreaker, but misses a top-rope splash.
- Jericho reverses a sunset flip into the Liontamer for the win!
- GREAT MATCH!!
- Commercials, including the completely wheels-off Slim Jim spot, and
the even worse Starburst spot.
- Match #9: Curt Hennig pins Van Hammer with the Hennig-Plex.
- Weird, Hennig's original WCW music started, then changed over to nWo music on his way down the ramp.
- Hammer delays on his way to the ring - get your sorry butt down there, and get this over already!
- Wow! Hammer applies a Majistral Cradle for 2!
- Please, Ix-nay, don't talk about Hammer's small package...
- Hennig takes control, and Rude gets his shots in as well.
- Hammer misses a big knee, and rams it into the corner turnbuckle.
- FINALLY, Hennig applies the Hennig-Plex. THANK YOU!
- Fireworks go off for... Stevie Ray? Ugh.
- Match #10: Diamond Dallas Page defeats Stevie Ray by DQ when Vincent runs in.
- Apparently, this is a bounty match. I don't know either, I'm just passing along what Tony said.
- Stevie Ray shoves DDP into the corner three times.
- This gets DDP's ire up, as he proceeds to dominate Stevie for the next couple of minutes.
- Russian Legsweep by Page - what is the deal with all the Russian legsweeps? Wade, you're the Brad Armstrong fan, maybe you can answer that question for me.
- Stevie comes back, and takes control, as the crowd chants "D-D-P!" I was sort of expecting a Goldberg chant- this is Illinois, after all.
(DISCLAIMER: My entire family is from Illinois- I have the right to talk about that state!)
- Bearhug by Stevie Ray, Page powers out, reverses a Slapjack with a back body drop, and signals for the Diamond Cutter!
- Vincent runs in, eats the Cutter, as the ref calls for the bell.
- Giant comes down, and he and Stevie double-team Page.
- K-Dawg runs in to help Page, and as they stare down Giant and Stevie Ray, the show ends...
- Well, that was... random. I'm not exactly sure what the whole point of the main event was, especially with the K-Dawg run-in to help
Page. Is DDP going Wolfpack? I thought so about 2 months ago, but now I'm not so sure. And what does this say about WCW - all that talent, and Stevie Ray is in the main event of two Thunder's in a row?!? Pathetic.
- Thanks to Bill for the opportunity to write this report, and hope to talk to all of you soon! L8R!