WCW Thunder - Thursday, 07/02/98

• From Glen B. at the University of Minnesota:

  I know how you feel about the interviews and other junk that seem these days more like filler than real content. Thunder and Nitro have become the proverbial hot dogs of sports entertainment: I have to ask, "Where's the Beef (the wrestling)?"

  I've done my share of folding laundry during the blah-blah-blah parts of WCW wrestling, and laundry is not even my responsibility (it's my wife's). In fact, I've done the following "chores" during filler time:

  1. my taxes;
  2. vacuuming the floor;
  3. cleaning the bathroom (again, not my job, but I had to do SOMETHING!);
  4. making out the grocery list;
  5. renewing library books on the phone;
  6. cleaning the windows;
  7. making the bed;
  8. filing away paperwork;

  among many other tasks. At least I can say is that my wife thinks I am a GREAT husband, so at least something good comes out of my frustration, which I am sure many DDT Digest readers understand all too well.

• From Chocobo. I'm surprised that I haven't read about this anywhere else on the Web, so I can't vouch that this is true, but I'm a trusting guy, so here goes:

  On the show Hard Copy last night, they did a little segment on Steve "Sting" Borden... I would have missed it (TV was on in the background) but I heard a Sting howl from the TV...I look over, and it's a clip of the blond-haired Sting from years ago, then they went to the beginning of the show. I watched through the show to figure out why they were showing Sting in the introduction, and I found out they were talking about his wrestling career and him starting an acting career.
  He looks VERY different in normal clothes without the face paint...he could have sat next to me at a WCW show, and I wouldn't have known. He talked about the movie he was in, and they showed some clips, then he replied to a question and said that wrestling is basically set up beforehand, but the pain is real, and how there's no way you can take hits and get thrown out of the ring onto concrete flooring and not get hurt by it (they showed him being hit with the Outsiders' Edge from Hall, and thrown around by the Giant).
  He and the Hard Copy guy were being very friendly, and Sting started acting pretty goofy at the end, then he pretended to take offense at a question and started yelling (I only recognized the voice when he was yelling) at the interviewer. It seemed hard to believe that this is the same guy that's on Nitro.

Hulk Hogan: I know what you're thinking...
Lex Luger: I'm not an athlete...
Roddy Piper: ...you're right.
Eric Bischoff: I'm 5 foot 9, 98 pounds...
Konnan: I won Taco Bell's Employee of the Month, 3 years in a row...
Hulk Hogan: I was a National champion at making horrible movies...
Roddy Piper: My jersey was retired at the old folks' home...
Lex Luger: When you step through these ropes bad angles do happen...
Rick Rude: Cashed over 200 insurance checks...
Hulk Hogan: Suffered a dozen heart attacks...
Roddy Piper: Damn near broke my false hip...
Dusty Rhodes: A blown out light bulb in my fridge...
Larry Zbyszko: I fell and I couldn't get up...
Lex Luger: This is who I am...
Eric Bischoff: This is what I do [kisses Hogan's butt]
Roddy Piper: I'm not an athlete?
The Disciple: This isn't my real face....
Hulk Hogan: Try using my Ben-Gay...

• Someone just came back from Happy Hour.

• Jericho comes out with a big sign that says "Conspiracy Victim" and an arrow pointing to himself.
• Heenan says "You've got to give Jericho credit for avoiding Malenko".
• In the ring, Jericho has the mic. He asks Penzer where he is and then Jericho says "Columbia (sic), Georgia is my favorite town".
• He says WCW wanted to put him on last, and he told the front office to "sit on it" and he decided to come out first.
• Jericho talks trash about Malenko and says Malenko has been ducking him.
• Jericho says that Malenko gave Ultimo Dragon a concussion and Jericho has personally brought in a substitute opponent. He says the Internet geeks and sheet readers will love tonight's match. If he wins tonight, he'll get a shot at the belt at Bash At The Beach. Here is his opponent...Rey Misterio, Jr.!
• Misterio's music plays and a fat midget in a Misterio mask comes out.
• Heenan: "This guy should be whipping a horse in the Kentucky Derby".
• Jericho and the Midgeterio start wrestling. Midgeterio starts working on the knee.
• Jericho clobbers Midgeterio and then starts to squash him.
• Jericho covers Midgeterio for two and then rolls Midgeterio on top for him for a three-count!
• Jericho acts shocked and says now he'll have to face Misterio at Bash At The Beach!
• If you can't figure out where this angle is going, I'd got a bridge I'd like to sell you...

• The announcers say that J.J. Dillon is on his way to the arena for some announcement.
• The announcers hype next Monday's Nitro.
• No cigarette tonight. Rumor has it that the Giant's cigarette was not going over too well with the brass.
• Giant announces that he's on the warpath. He says Goldberg and Greene better get in the gym and load up on the carbs.
• Giant calls out Luger for a match tonight.

• Doc Dean clicks his heels on the way to the ring.
• Stevie Ray comes to the ring looking like the bad-ass mother that he is.
• Stevie Ray immediately starts beating the hell out of Doc Dean in the corner.
• Big slam by Stevie Ray. Elbow drop. Two-count only.
• Suplex drop onto the top rope by Stevie Ray and a big boot to the face onto the floor.
• Another boot by Stevie Ray and a double-underhook pancake by Stevie Ray, aka the Slapjack.
• Three count, it's over. Total squash. Stevie Ray is your winner.
• Stevie Ray chases the referee out of the ring.
• Heenan refers to Stevie Ray as a great tag team. He's smashed.
• Chavo comes to the ring on his horse, Pepe. Chavo gets the mic and tells Stevie Ray he knows what it's like to have family problems. Stevie Ray looks confused.
• Chavo puts his hands on Stevie Ray once too often and Stevie Ray pushes Chavo down.
• Stevie Ray leaves. Chavo gets Pepe and leaves.

• The announcers says it's Public Enemy vs. Bulldog/Neidhart...and The Dancing Fools come out.
• Alex Wright grabs the mic and starts speaking German. Disco Inferno says Wright is asking if everyone wants to see them dance.
• With that, Public Enemy's music starts and Public Enemy appears.
• Rocco Rock gets on the mic and says that maybe it's time for a dance contest.
• They play Disco's music and the Dancing Fools dance.
• They play Public Enemy's music and Public Enemy shucks and jives.
• The Dancing Fools shove Public Enemy and Public Enemy chases them out of the ring.
• Commercial break. Boy, I hope this gets better.
• "Yeah, baby!!!"
• Oh, boy, J.J. Dillon's "arrived". That and Bulldog and Neidhart wrestling!!! I don't know if I can handle the excitement!
• Rocco and Neidhart to start. They trade advantage and Bulldog is tagged in. Bulldog clears the ring.
• J.J. Dillon's announcement is supposedly so big that he didn't want to do it over the telephone.
• Neidhart is tagged in and Public Enemy goes to work on him.
• Neidhart hits a big foot on Rocco Rock and he makes the tepid tag to Bulldog.
• Chaos ensues.
• Grunge and Neidhart battle outside the ring. Rocco and Bulldog inside the ring.
• The Dancing Fools attack Grunge outside the ring. Then, as Rocco Rock goes for the powerslam on Rocco Rock, The Dancing Fools come running up with the table and Bulldog slams Rock through the table.
• No official announcment as to the decision. Probably double-DQ as Bulldog sold being hurt, too.

• Dillon says there are some days he hates his job, and some days he loves it. Today, he loves it.
• Next Monday on Nitro at the Georgia Dome, Hollywood Hogan is contractually obligated to defend his title against the number-one contender...
• (...for those of you who haven't seen an Internet web page at all in the last three weeks...)
• Goldberg!
• Oh, my, what a surprise. [sarcasm]

• Lodi's sign: "Kidman's No Fat Chix World Tour"
• Saturn with the early advantage. Kidman begs off and gives Saturn the thumb to the eye. No effect.
• Kidman eventually comes back with a flying head scissors.
• Saturn gives Kidman a belly-to-belly release suplex from the ring to the floor.
• Saturn chases Lodi around the ring and ends up clotheslining Kidman.
• Saturn does a suicide dive onto Kidman but Kidman holds up a chair and Saturn goes into it headfirst.
• Flying body press from the top turnbuckle by Kidman. Two-count only.
• Kidman reverses a Saturn powerbomb into a pancake. Another two-count.
• Clothesline by Saturn and then a rollup.
• Dropkick by Kidman. Legdrop by Kidman.
• Snapmare takeover by Kidman into a rest hold. Saturn escapes but Kidman stomps him down with Lodi cheering him on.
• Kidman misses a splash into the corner.
• Exchanges and then a powerbomb by Saturn, known as an otherwise unnamed "excellent move" by the announcers.
• Superplex by Saturn and then a belly-to-belly over the head.
• Lodi distracts Saturn and Kidman hits a slingshot bulldog. Two-count only.
• Spicolli Driver by Saturn. 1-2-3, it's over.
• After the match, Saturn challenges Raven for the Bash.

• Blaze attempts a hip toss to no available. Adams counters with a big suplex.
• Adams with a back elbow. Adams snaps Blaze's neck over the top rope.
• Punches to the gut by Blaze. Adams no-sells.
• High knee by Blaze staggers Adams. Spinning back kick by Blaze puts Adams down.
• Adams comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
• Adams hits an over-the-shoulder backbreaker and gets the pin.

• Raven sits in the corner.
• Raven accepts Saturn's challenge.
• Raven reminds Saturn that the last time they fought was in sixth-grade, and Raven gave Saturn a bloody nose.
• Raven says that even that Saturn is a self-centered egotistical user, he never thought Saturn would turn on him.
• Raven also announces that due to what he's got going with Saturn, Kanyon gets a stay of execution.
• Quoth the Raven, blathermore.

• Finley attacks Booker T before the bell to start the match.
• Finley goes to work and starts to take Booker T apart, primarily with European uppercuts.
• Finley pitches Booker T outside the ring and works on him on the floor.
• Finley puts Booker T into a fireman's carry and drops him onto the guardrail.
• Back in the ring, Finley gets a two-count.
• Finley tosses Booker T into the corner and Booker T tries a rollup, but gets a two-count only.
• Stomach stomp by Finley.
• Harlem Sidekick by Booker T.
• Booker T nails Finley with a forearm. Two-count.
• Side slam by Booker T. Another two-count.
• Finley comes back and does his schtick with the elbow to the throat from outside the ring.
• Finley gets a big boot but Booker T comes back with a side slam and belly-to-back.
• Booker T misses a sidekick and gets sent to the floor.
• Finley signals for the tombstone, but Booker T hits the missile dropkick and gets the pinfall.
• In a post-match interview, Booker T says that he knows something about Bret that no one else knows, that Bret Hart has "lazy legs". Booker T says he's going to beat Bret Hart.
• Stevie Ray comes out, says Booker T should be "takin' care of business" instead of interviewing. The brothers are arguing as we go to commercial.

• Chavo comes out with a big cardboard box. "Be vewy, vewy quiet...I'm hunting Eddies".
• He sets up the box with a stick and twine like in a cartoon. He uses a burrito as bait. Heh.
• The box says "Acme Eddy Trap".
• Chavo's got a toy bow-and-arrow and he "hides" outside the ring and calls out Eddie.
• Eddie tugs the string and hides. Chavo looks for Eddie in the trap but he's not under the box. Chavo hypothesizes that he needs a bigger box.
• Eddie attacks Chavo, pulls the mats back around the ring, and gives Chavo a brain buster on the concrete.
• Eddie pulls Chavo into the ring and smacks him with the burrito.
• Eddie picks up the stick that was hold up the box but decides against it.
• Eddie then picks up a pair of scissors and goes to attack Chavo with them. AAAAHHHHHH!!!
  
• Eddie wounds up cutting off a chunk of Chavo's hair, instead.
• Doug Dillinger gets in the ring and shoos Eddie away.

• It's 9:58 and we're starting a match that's not the main event. Why don't they just say in the TV Guide that the show is going until 10:15?
• Hey, reorder the letters and there's only one letter different in their names.
• Konnan and Kanyon trade the advantage back and forth.
• About one minute into the match, the Flock appears in the entranceway.
• Fisherman's suplex neckbreaker by Kanyon. Two-count only.
• Fallaway slam by Kanyon. Another two-count.
• The Flock is circling the ring.
• Pancake by Konnan.
• Series of two-counts by both men.
• They blow a head-scissor takeover.
• This match is really weird. A lot of seemingly missed moves.
• While the Flock distracts Konnan, Raven comes in and Evenflows Kanyon.
• Konnan puts the Tequila Sunrise on Kanyon, but Kanyon's already out. The ref lifts Kanyon's arm and it drops limp three times. Konnan gets the win.
• Konnan leaves and the Flock, sans Raven, descends on Kanyon.
• Konnan thinks about it, and then goes back in to make the save on Kanyon.
• It's five-on-two, and Konnan's getting beaten down.
• Luger makes the save on Konnan.
  • Luger's growing a beard. He must be planning a heel turn.
• Luger takes off his shirt and calls out the Giant. The Giant comes out, and we go to commercial.

• Back from commercial, Luger goes right to work with punches. The crowd is going "Buh!" with each punch.
• After taking a short beating, the Giant nails Luger with the big foot and a big clothesline and then starts taking Luger apart.
• Big slap by Giant on Luger in the corner. More big clubbing blows by Giant.
• Luger comes back with a jawbreaker.
• Clotheslines by Luger, and then the big elbow.
• Luger signals for the Torture Rack, but Adams and Vincent run in and attack Luger, disqualifying Giant.
• Konnan attempts to make the save on Luger, but gets beaten down.
• Then, the Flock runs in, and Saturn attacks Raven in the entranceway. Chaos ensues as we fade to black.