WCW Saturday Night - Saturday, 03/21/98

Enough of the worn-out WWF guys already! It wasn't too bad when they brought in Hall and Nash, who were at the top of their careers. It wasn't too bad when they brought in Hogan, Piper, and Savage, who are extremely marketable names. And it wasn't even that bad when they brought in Bret Hart and Curt Hennig, recognizable names even if they're getting on up in years.

But we gotta draw the line somewhere. I don't think the average fan knows who the heck Brian Adams or Kevin Kelley is, and I don't think they care. And does the extremely-talent-heavy WCW talent pool need washed-up WWF stars like the British Bulldog and Neidhart? I'm honestly expecting to turn on Nitro one week and find that they've dug up the corpse of Big John Studd and rolled him out as the newest nWo superstar. Of course, they'll probably job Benoit to him right off the bat....

WCW - please just say "No" to becoming the WWF Pension Plan.

My question is this - do the head honchos only push guys who don't have many moves (Luger, Hogan, etc.), or do good wrestlers get lazy when they reach the big time?

• Lane comes out flexing and showing off his muscles. I dunno, I can see good things for this guy. He's got some good potential, and a good attitude.
• Jurassic Janetty is still wearing his Outfit of Many Colors.
• Tenay calls Sting's drop from the helicopter on Monday "The biggest ring entrance in the HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!!" Oh, God, no! Tenay's got Schiavone Disease! And I had such high hopes for him . . .
• Many boos for Lane, who's really playing to the crowd.
• Janetty breaks clean on the ropes, but Lane doesn't.
• Scott Hudson's talking about Lane's Oscar-nominated performance as Chris Jericho.
• Janetty levels Lane with a short clothesline.
• Tenay says that Lane feels that Jericho duped him, and Lane plans to be at Nitro this Monday to confront Jericho.
• Lane hits his face-first full-nelson Russian legsweep.
• They're already started thumping their tails in joy about Roddy Piper returning this Monday.
• It's really been all Lane so far.
• Janetty avoids a Lane corner charge.
• Janetty tries to slingshot over the top with a bodypress, but Lane gets his knees up.
• Janetty tries a sunset flip, but Lane drops down and flexes. Janetty then reapplies the flip for two.
• Janetty slingshots Lane into the turnbuckle.
• Lane flips Janetty over with a clothesline.
• Lane whips Janetty into the corner, bounces off the ropes, and tries a Bulldog.
• Janetty, however, stops and hits the Showstopper for the win.

• They're still trying to play off Raven's "surprise appearance" as being "real."

• I swear Silver King's on crack. That guy's all over the place!
  
• Evan Courageous comes to the ring. They're spelling his last name "Kourageous" now. Then again, they're spelling Kendall Windham's name "Kendell," so I'm going with what makes sense.
• Tenay calls King the most underrated luchadore.
• Stiff kick to the side of Courageous' head.
• Nice snap-suplex from the King.
• King misses a moonsault.
• King is the son of Mexican wrestler Dr. Wagner.
• Nice almost-hurricanrana by Courageous.
• King hits a Yakuza kick, flooring Courageous.
• King sets Courageous on the top, and goes for a superplex, but Courageous pushes him off.
• King rolls away from a big splash.
• Courageous hits a spinning back elbow for two, but misses a springboard cross-body.
• You can hear the smack from here as King dropkicks Courageous in the face. That had to hurt.
• King then picks Courageous up over his shoulder as if to give him an over-the-shoulder backbreaker, but turns it into an Airplane Spin, and spins Courageous right to the canvas.
• The King then covers Courageous for the win.
• Tenay: "Another impressive win for the Luchadore from Mexico!" As opposed to all those Luchadores from Germany, right?

• Mike Tolbert comes out. He's HUUUUGE!
• This is going to be a match between two Power Plant grads.
• Tenay: "It's great to see an organization like WCW committed to the future." WHAT????? Did I just hear that? Did Tenay just get dropped on his head???
• Tolbert's going to be facing Horshu.
• Tenay says that Horshu's full of potential.
• Tolbert with an impressive kip-up, and armdrags Horshu.
• The Great American Bash is coming to Baltimore in June.
• Horshu with a nice rope-bounce faceslam.
• Horshu shouts "There's no business . . . like 'Shu business" before hitting a butterfly suplex. Again. Must be his "thing."
• Tolbert hits a high sunset flip for two, but gets clotheslined when he gets back up.
• Tolbert avoids a Horshu kneedrop.
• Tolbert hits a gutwrench suplex, but misses an elbowdrop.
• Belly-to-back suplex from Hee-Haw.
• Horshu then makes a horseshoe-shape with his arms, walks the second rope and drops an elbow for the win!

• Which is bigger - Marshall's gut or High Voltage's muscles? How about Marshall's chins?
• Rage is flexing his pecs.
• Kaos says that WCW talks about dismantling their tag teams, but what about High Voltage?
• Kaos says that HV has been kicking tail in Japan for six months, and they want a shot at the tag belts.
• Rage says that they proved themselves in Japan, and that they're the tag team of the next millennium.

• The "really cursed" Armstrongs come out. They're flexing a lot. I don't think they've gotten a win since the Reagan administration.
• Of course, they're going to job to the just-interviewed High Voltage.
• "Voltage Twins powers - activate"
• Hudson says that High Voltage isn't going to have a cakewalk against the Armstrongs.
• The Volts are going to be taking on Mike Enos and Wayne Bloom on Nitro.
• Scott Armstrong hiptosses Kaos, but gets beat on for his troubles.
• Kaos gorilla-presses Scott, and Rage does the same.
• However, Steve runs in and kicks Rage's legs out from under him.
• Rage then successfully presses Scott, then presses Steve just for good luck.
• The Armstrongs stand around and wait for Kaos to come off the top with a double-clothesline.
• Scott grabs Kaos' leg, and Steve throws him over the top rope.
• Scott works Kaos over on the outside.
• Nice doubleteams by the Armstrongs.
• Steve does jumping jacks in the ring, for some odd reason.
• Kaos hits a sunset flip on Steve, but Scott has the referee distracted.
• Kaos ducks a double-clothesline, but all three men get knocked down.
• Impressive dropkicks from Rage.
• Rage hits an overhead-release belly-to-belly on Steve.
• A doubleteam backbreaker-legdrop by the Volts on Steve.
• The Volts then hit the Voltmeter on Steve for the win.
• High Voltage looked pretty good this time around.

• Some absurd stuff involving Monster Trucks.

• Adams comes out, for this rematch from last week.
• Adams must own stock in a sequin company.
• My Blood Runs Cold, as I realize that I have to watch Glacier wrestle.
• If Glacier used his Cryonic Kick a lot, could it be his Chronic Kick? Just asking.
• Are they still using the snow machine, or does Glacier really need the "Head and Shoulders?"
• They go toe-to-toe, and Adams gets the better.
• Adams teases the Superkick, but Glacier slides out of the ring.
• They're STILL fawning over Sting coming out of the helicopter.
• Glacier tries to kick Adams, but Adams turns it into an armlock.
• Adams with a rolling cradle for two.
• Hudson: "[Sting's entrance] is the most amazing piece of footage I've ever seen in World Championship Wrestling."
• Adams with an avalanche clothesline, and chokes Glacier down in the corner.
• Adams goes up top, but Glacier kicks his feet out from under him.
• Glacier works Adams over on the outside.
• Glacier goes to kick Adams, Adams moves out of the way, but Glacier stops.
• Glacier is proud of himself, turns around, and gets punched.
• Glacier runs Adams into the ringpost, and throws Adams back in.
• Glacier hits a very sloppy swinging neckbreaker, and signals for the Cryonic Kick.
• Adams ducks, and hits his Superkick for the win.
  

• Jim Powers has a smile on his face tonight. Does he know something we don't?
• Oh, Barbarian is coming out. I guess Powers knows that he's not going to have a move sold at any point tonight.
• Tenay: "The unpredictable, uncontrollable, Meng." At least it's not the incredible, edible Meng.
• Barbarian levels Powers with a shoulderblock.
• Barbarian chokes Powers, and slings him into the corner.
• More chokes from Barbarian.
• Barbarian throws Powers over the top rope, and runs him back-first into the ring apron.
• Barbarian picks Powers up, and runs his back into the ringpost.
• Tenay talks about the rumor of Hart signing Hugh Morrus.
• Barbarian hits a facebuster on Powers, and stomps.
• Barbarian hits the Kick of Fear for the win.
• Post-match, Barbarian shows his tongue to the camera.

• Lorenzo comes out. He's new. I don't think he's Lorenzo Lamas, though.
• Finley comes out.
• Finley points to his shoulderpads and says "Seven more payments and these babies are mine, y'all!" Uh.....just kidding.
• Finley apparently has said that he's going to make an example of Lorenzo.
• Finley with a trapezius hold.
• Did WCW get a discount on blonde hair dye, or what?
• Big bodyslam by Finley, who then kicks Lorenzo in the back.
• Apparently, DDP received a "severe concussion" on MTV.
• Lorenzo blows a leapfrog and knees Finley real good in the face, and the two just stare at each other saying "Duh..."
• Finley works Lorenzo over on the apron.
• More kicks to the back from Mr. Lucky Charms.
• They're talking a lot about Raven/DDP.
• Short clothesline by Finley.
• Lorenzo doesn't look very good.
• Finley drops a big elbow.
• Lorenzo tries to come back, but Finley puts on an armbar.
• Modified chickenwing by Finley.
• Lorenzo ducks a clothesline, and Finley hits a rolling forward Samoan Drop.
• Finley goes up to the second rope, but drops on to Lorenzo's knees.
• Finley avoids a corner charge, and drops Lorenzo with the Tombstone for the win.

• Again, I apologize, but I just can't listen to that guy's crap.

• "Swamp Foot" Jerry Flynn comes out. He needs a shave worse than I do.
• He's going to be facing Prince "Why didn't they continue to forget about me" Iaukea.
• Flynn kicks Iaukea off the turnbuckles and to the outside.
• Spin kick to the back of Iaukea's head.
• Big clothesline from Flynn.
• Iaukea tries a rollup, but Flynn holds on and hits a back kick on Iaukea.
• Flynn hits a double-thrust to Iaukea's throat, and kicks him in the corner.
• Iaukea hiptosses Flynn into the ring.
• High dropkick to Flynn's head.
• Flynn hangs on and avoids an Iaukea dropkick.
• Iaukea drops an elbow to Flynn's crotch.
• Flynn kicks Iaukea in the gut, and drops him with a DDT.
• Flynn with a high legdrop.
• Flynn tries a bodyslam, but Iaukea counters with a small package for two.
• Iaukea hits a dragonscrew legwhip, and goes up top.
• Iaukea hits his flying cross-bodyblock for the win.

• What the hell? Hardbody Harrison comes out looking like somebody's grandfather, with a grey beard, baseball cap, and leather jacket.
  
• Yes! Disco! It'll be interesting to see if he uses the Chartbuster.
  
• The crowd's disco dancing.
• Harrison's still got his "Flo-Jo" one-legged tights, though.
• Harrison's also got some weird beads in his hair.
• Harrison works on Disco's back.
• Harrison shoulderblocks Disco down, and flexes.
• Disco hiptosses Harrison, and hits a flying clothesline.
• Disco stomps Harrison in the gut in the corner.
• Disco hits a back elbow for two.
• Harrison goes up top, but Disco avoids the flip.
• Disco hits his spinning neckbreaker for two.
• Apparently, by not listening to the Raven interview, I missed the fact that it's going to be Hammer and Saturn vs. DDP and Benoit, not Raven and Saturn.
• Disco goes up to the second turnbuckle, but Harrison avoids the axehandle.
• Disco whips Harrison into the ropes, picks him up as for an inverted atomic drop, and then drives him down in a spinebuster-type move for the win.
• Looks like the rumors were true - no more Chartbuster, thanks to Ed "Waste of Money" Leslie.

• Saturn and Hammer come down to the siren.
  
• Hudson says that Raven, with regards to the US belt, believes in the "Exorcist" clause - Possession is 9/10 of the law.
• Decent pop for Benoit.
• Wonder why Benoit and DDP come out separately?
• Tenay notices it, too.
• Duh duh duh......smells like Teen Spirit......duh duh duh......
• Benoit and Page talk strategy.
• Page and Hammer start off.
• Hammer looks drugged.
• Page armdrags Hammer, who sells it like back surgery (sorry, Bill).
• Apparently, Roddy Piper will be issuing a challenge on Nitro. He's probably going to be challenging WCW to give him a job.
• Page hits his swinging neckbreaker, and Benoit comes in to help clear house.
• Page and Benoit tease a fight, but make up. Page pats Benoit on the rear.
• Benoit comes in to face Saturn.
• Benoit shoulderblocks Saturn down.
• Benoit hits a series of three rolling snap-suplexes.
• A short-arm clothesline sends Hammer outside.
• Hammer holds the top rope down, and Benoit gets flipped over the top.
• Hammer works Benoit over on the outside, and rolls him back in.
• Saturn hits an avalanche clothesline on Benoit.
• Hammer with a forceful modified spinebuster.
• Benoit tags to Page, but the referee doesn't see the tag.
• The Flockers doubleteam Benoit while the ref gets Page out of the ring.
• Benoit ducks a Saturn clothesline, and counters with a sunset flip for two.
• Next week, it's Rick Steiner vs. Kevin Nash.
• Benoit with a rollup for two.
• Benoit and Saturn clothesline each other, and they're both down.
• Page and Hammer tag in.
• Page deals with both Flockers.
• Benoit and Saturn go outside.
• Page crotches Hammer on the top, and hits a Diamond Cutter on Hammer from the top.
• Page goes for the pin, but Raven runs in and hits Page with the belt.
• The rest of the Flock come in and start stomping a mudhole in Page.
• Reese hits a belly-to-back suplex on Page.
• Lodi sign: "You Got Banged"
• Reese holds Page up, and Raven hits Page with the belt.
• And that's the ballgame! Thanks for reading!