WCW Worldwide - Saturday, 02/28/98
- It is I, J.D. Server here as your substitute Worldwide reporter. I'd like to congratulate Bill on selecting me for the job...yes, congratulate. Sorry, modesty isn't one of my more endearing qualities.
- This is not the first time I've covered Worldwide for DDT Digest, I did it once before. So if you were unfortunate enough to miss it the first time around, be thankful you're seeing it now. See? I wasn't kidding about that being modest. [Author's Note: If you failed to catch it, I'm really not this cocky, it's just a joke. So as much as I adore hate mail, please make use a different subject.]
- If anyone reading this genuinely cares, I'm 16 and single -- a not-so-subtle hint for all the ladies out there. I'm a wrestling fan since the time I could talk, even though that isn't a real long time compared to you old-timers. No offense, Bill. World Championship Wrestling is my third-favorite federation, behind the WWF and ECW. In WCW, gotta love Hennig, Jericho, Booker T, Savage, Mortis, Buff and Hogan. Yes, Hogan...regardless of what everyone says, he is a legend. The Flock also rule, 'specially Saturn, Raven and Billy Kidman. That fleas-and-lice gimmick is just kick-ass!
- Now an opinion on the tragic death of Louie Spiccoli. No lie, I was really beginning to like Spiccoli. And I was truly disgusted at how Louie's death was handled by Eric and company. Just a THREE-bell salute, a picture and Larry's insensitive comment. After that, no mention of him. What's with that?! He wasn't a failed angle or something, he was a HUMAN BEING, and he deserved to be treated as one. ECW did a tribute that was much better than the WCW one, and he wasn't even with the company.
- On SuperBrawl, I didn't order it, but I guess it seemed like it was decent. One comment, I saw a pic of Juvi without the mask, and frankly, he scares me now. Two words: Michael Jackson.
- Enough with the small talk, let's get down to business, a full hour of unbelievably predictable squash matches featuring some of WCW's mid-card talent! Yeah!
- Silver King tries his hand against Rick Martel
- I've never been a Rick Martel fan, but I'll always remember this
quote he gave us at the SummerSlam where he faced Shawn Michaels.
It went something like, "Boy-toy, you been a bad boy, an' at
SummerSlam...I'm going to teach you some manners!" But you had to
hear it, the fake accent sold it.
- Either way, Martel starts off dominating. Or it mighta been King.
Eh.
- At about this time, Bobby observed that Silver King looked
like Desi Arnaz, the guy who played Ricky Ricardo.
- I'm totally hetero, bu ya know, Martel is actually a pretty
good-looking guy. Hard to believe he settled for Sherrie.
- And he does a terrific job of hiding that bald spot.
- Very basic match, filled with rest holds and a lotta brawling.
- King attempts the first high-flying move of the match, a
moonsault, and gets caught in the Quebec Crab to finish it.
- The ending was sorta weird, after the moonsault, Silver King
was on his stomach, positioned for the Crab. But instead of
applying it right there, Martel flips him on his back and
then begins to put it on. Just thought it was a little odd.
- Lee Marshall chats with Bill Goldberg
- Marshall shocks the dozen or so people watching by hyping
Uncensored.
- First time I've heard Goldberg ever speak a word. And, contrary to
popular belief, "ARRGGGHH!!!" and "RAAAHHH!!!" are not words.
- He's pretty articulate, but the voice doesn't seem to fit him at all.
- Goldberg: "I look at all of my opponents in the same way...as
victims." That was pretty kewl line.
- Nothing really important
- Worldwide Control Center
- The boys alerted us that Buff and Konnan would be in action in the
main event this week, prompting Tony to warn us that nobody in the
arena is safe from them and that they could strike at any time.
Uh, Tony? When was the last time you saw a run-in on Worldwide?
- Bobby told everyone he didn't feel safe in the same building as
them. Good, because you're not in same building as them.
- Little Dragon clashes with "The Hoppin' Jalapeno" Eddie Guerrero
- Little Dragon is a clone of Ultimo Dragon with the red, only
smaller.
- No kidding, I thought this was gonna be a midget match when he came out.
- God, Eddie's theme music is kewl.
- Eddie is whipping the ass of the little Munchkin. Damn, Dragon
looks to be 5'1" at the most.
- Tony promises a SuperBrawl update next week. That'll sure do us a
lot of good now, huh?
- Hey...I just thought of something. They can't hype Uncensored
too much since they don't have any of the matches and they
can't rant about the fact that Sting's world champ since the
announcing was added a week before! They have to commentate
on the match!
- Well, they're talking about the nWo now. So much for
that.
- Little Dragon's showing me something here. He hit a 450 Splash
onto a standing Eddie, scissored his head, and took him down into
a pin. Or maybe it was just a botched huracanrana, I dunno.
- Wait, now he hit a handspring elbow over the top rope. Not
bad at all.
- But of course, the inevitable happens and Eddie hits the patented
Froggie for the win.
- This wins the coveted Castrol "Torture Test of the Week" award.
- Uncensored promo
· Pretty good spot. I'm guessing it's because they didn't let
Bischoff help out.
- Cocoa Samoa takes on Ray Traylor
- Hey, what country do you guys think Cocoa Samoa's from?
- If anyone mails me the wrong answer, I'll slap a dunce cap on
you and laugh.
- And isn't Samoa the country? Why isn't he called "Cocoa Samoan"?
- Tony talked a little about Cocoa, and Bobby replied, "Every day
before I go to work, I have a bowl of Cocoa Samoa for breakfast!"
Heh-heh.
- Tony ragged on the Brain for that last part and Bobby comes
back with, "Hey, isn't Worldwide supposed to be fun?" Not if
you were at home watching it, Heenan.
- Ray Traylor is tearing apart poor Cocoa, who takes a spill to the
outside. He proceeds to jaw with some fan for about a minute
before Traylor gets tired and forearms him.
- I was disappointed. Usually when that happens, someone gets
a splash or a plancha or something. But then again, this is
Ray Traylor we're talking about here.
- Cocoa hit his and Bobo Brazil's finisher, the Cocoa Butt, for the
three count.
- No! I'm lying! It didn't even faze Ray and Samoa got his ass
Traylor Trashed through the canvas!
- WCW Motorsports
- Why do they do a piece on the Valvoline car when Castrol, who's
hawking the same product, also sponsors the show?
And why would anyone even sponsor Worldwide to begin with?
- They talk about how Mother Nature wasn't on the side of Lance
Hooper's WCW car. In other words, he lost big time.
- And they said how the nWo Outsider monster truck but on a "great
performance for the fans, as usual." In other words, it lost big
time.
- And why does WCW say good things about the nWo truck? Could
the voice of WCW Motorsports be set to turn nWo 4 life? Wow,
that'd be almost as big as when the hosts of "Dinner and a
Movie" became members!
- Mortis versus "The Cat in the Hat" Ernest Miller
- Tony was calling Vandenburg a cold, callous oddball. Ouch!
Bischoff has no remorse for anyone no longer with the company.
- Mortis does a nice fireman's carry into a neckbreaker.
- God, SOMEONE give this guy a push! And that skull with the
jester's hat on is just too kewl!
- Mortis actually isn't carrying this match with Ernie as much as he
did with all of the others.
- The Cat is knocked into the corner by Mortis, who proceeds to
argue with the ref. He turns around is hit by the Feliner to
complete the job to the Karate Kid. God, Mortis loses again!
Dammit!
- Now they're talking about how Mortis and James are having
problems after that loss, hinting to the fact that he's gone
from Atlanta. Call me crazy, and most people do, but they seemed
to be getting along just fine after the match.
- Probably because this was taped about two months ago before
James got the pink slip.
- Uncensored promo again
- I think this time around I noticed they called Randy Savage
"Batman". Or maybe it's those voices in my head again...
- Jimmy Hart is interviewed by the Lee Marshall
- Lee tells us to get tickets for Uncensored. How stupid does he
think he is? He expects us to get tickets for an event where the
card hasn't even been announced. Well, not when this was taped at
least.
- Hart said Meng was a loser, and Barbarian was a winner and he
stays with the winners.
- Lee asked about Hugh Morrus, but I switched to something else so I
didn't catch it. But who give a flying fudge brownie?
- Konnan and Marcus "Buff" Bagwell with Vincent battle High Voltage
- Ah, now I see why they didn't tell us who Marcus and K-Dawg
were against in the main event.
- And why Rage and Kaos were introduced last.
- High Voltage take control early, scoring a couple near-falls. But
trust me...they won't score anything more than that in this match.
- Trivia: Where did Buff go to high school?
- Sprayberry High in Marietta, Georgia.
- I learned that little tidbit from the oh-so inept Shiavone. Yes I
LEARNED something from Tony! Believe it or not!
- Vincent hasn't interfered at all yet.
- Tony told us how if High Voltage won this match, all eyes of the
sport would be on them. God, they act like people actually watch
this show.
- The guys talk about how joining the nWo hurts your career. They
cite examples such as Bagwell winning the tag titles a few times
and Konnan wearing the Mexican Heavyweight Championship once and
how they have no belts now.
- It should also be noted Vincent once had the Million Dollar
Championship...but where it is now? Down the crapper with the
single shred of credibility he had remaining prior to coming
to WCW.
- They also said how the Outsiders had the tag belts once, but not
anymore because they're in the nWo. Number one, they've always
been with the new World order.
Number two, they have the titles now. They shoulda read a
little ahead in the booking sheets before recording this.
- Anyway, Konnan makes Rage submit to the Tequila Sunrise to end
this hour of unbearable pain...with a pinch of suffering, for
flavor.
- Well, it seems my stint here at DDT Digest has come to an unfortunate
end. Sorry this went a little long, but I wanted to get as many of my
opinions out in the open as I could. Hope you enjoyed reading this more
than I enjoyed writing it. Not that it wasn't fun, Bill...heh-heh. So,
in conclusion, thanks again for havin' me over, and I'll try to come
visit again soon. In the meanwhile, send me any opinions you have to me
via e-mail. So...later, all!