Thanksgiving Day, 1997
Thanksgiving Day, 1997
Russell Tharp, one of my regular readers, sent me the following Thanksgiving e-mail. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Imagine if certain WCW characters were giving the Thanksgiving dinner speech:
- Scott Hall: We here in the nWo are doin' a little survey and we was wonderin'...did you all come to see Thanksgiving dinner or did you come to see the N-W-O?
- Tony S.: Three weeks from now will be the last time you can eat any of this turkey and three weeks from now will be the very last time you can see Piper and Hogan rasslin', so call your cable company now for our PPV extravaganza.
- Dusty: WEEEEEE at da' dinna' tabah'...let's get it awn! Whoa! Look out for that drumstick!
- Hogan: You know what, brother, I sat in the kitchen and baked this whole dinner while I beat up that loser Piper and his dumb little buddy who's too afraid to show his face. You know that punk Sting and when I'm through making my brand new number one best seller movie and me and the nWo-ites get back
from Hollywood, we're going to get rid of Sting once and for all. Whatcha' gonna' do when the whole nWo runs wild all over you?!
- Raven: As I sit here eating this dinner, I can't help but remember back when I was a kid and ate Thanksgiving dinner and the whole family mocked me and made fun of me because I chewed with my mouth open and they called me sick and nasty and a misfit...yadda, yadda, yadda. Quoth the Raven, nevermore.
- Santa Doug Dillinger Claus: All right, you damn turkey, give me the f#$%^ing sign, sit your ass down, or we'll throw you out, you S.O.B.
- Lee Marshall (calling from backstage): This is 1-800 road report from a Nitro Party at Plymouth Rock. Did you know that the first Thanksgiving dinner did not have a roast turkey but in fact had a roast weasel?
- The McMichael Household: Get in that kitchen, toots, and bake me a turkey...I paid for it...well, we see here this little boy, I'm the star in WCW. Well, go be a star in the kitchen and get...SHUT UP, ALL YOU PACKER FANS!
- Meng: WohoWAhoWohoWAhoWohoWAhoWohoWAhoWoho
- Mean Gene: So Mr.Turkey, are you going to be on WCW side or are you just gonna give me the cold shoulder? Look, answer my questions...I'm Mean Gene! Who do you think you are, anyway? What a chicken!